104. Why New Year’s Resolutions Don’t Work

My name is Patrick McGilvray, and I’m an experienced marathoner, ultra runner, Sports Nutritionist, Master Life Coach, and weight loss coach for runners. I’ve dedicated my life to helping runners just like you properly fuel your body and your mind. So you can get leaner, get stronger, run faster and run longer than you ever thought possible. This is Running Lean.

Hey there, and welcome to Episode 104, of Running Lean. My name is Patrick McGilvray, the weight loss coach for runners and today, why New Year’s resolutions just don’t work. It’s that time of the year again, when many people set out to change their lives for the better.

They set out to make these big goals and they set New Year’s resolutions. And they decide that starting on January 1, they’re going to lose weight or get in shape or quit drinking start that business or start working on whatever big goal they’ve been putting off for way too long.

The problem is that almost 90% of people who set new year’s resolutions will fail at keeping them by around mid-February. This is why the gyms are full in January and then empty again in March. Right.

So why is it that most people can only stick to a goal for around six weeks or so? Well, in this episode of the podcast, I’m going to go over exactly why New Year’s resolutions just don’t work and offer up some ideas for what to do instead.

But first, if you like this podcast, definitely come check out the Running Lean podcast community on Facebook. And we are still in the midst of our running through the holidays challenge. The challenge is to run a mile every day between Thanksgiving Day and New Year’s Day. And so far, it’s been super awesome. People are having a lot of fun, posting pictures and being accountable and getting inspired, and feeling encouraged and supported. So definitely come check us out. It’s not too late to join us. You can join us at any time just search for Running Lean community on Facebook and come have fun with us.

Nextly people ask how they can work with me. And I’ve got to tell you about two things. The first one is one on one coaching. So I’m a coach, this is what I do. I help people to dial in their nutrition to become the most badass, healthiest versions of themselves. I help with losing weight and becoming stronger becoming a more powerful runner.

And I do it all with one on one personalized approach. It’s a one on one approach. It’s the guidance, the support, encouragement, the accountability that you need to make it work for you. And if you’ve never had a coach before, I can tell you it’s a very, very powerful way of achieving results and reaching your goals.

So you know, this is kind of what we’re talking about in this podcast, these goals. And if you have a big goal for yourself, hiring a coach might be just the thing that you need. So just go to runningleanpodcast.com/apply. And you can learn more about my coaching and apply you and I can jump on a conversation and see if this is a good fit for you.

And then I wanted to mention that the Running Lean coaching group is doing something cool in January. So we’ve got this big challenge we’re going to be doing together as a group in January, which is to lose eight pounds by January 31. Okay, and don’t worry, I’ll show you exactly how to do it, you’re going to get the support of me and everybody else in the group and show you how to do this and help you and encourage you and give you the motivation that you need to help you reach that goal.

January is a good time to get started with this and I know that it’s that that New Year’s resolution season or whatever, but it’s just a good time to get started. Because this is when you’re just getting into marathon training, and becoming a fat-adapted runner takes a few weeks. So this is going to be perfect to help you crush those spring races.

Okay, I want to help you transform yourself into that lean fat-burning machine. And we will help you through that exact process and help you develop the mindset that you need to and the habits that you need to make this last it’s not just a temporary thing we’re looking for here.

What we’re trying to do together is develop the permanent changes to your mental state to your emotional state so that you can just do this easily and effortlessly for the rest of your life. We’re interested in lifestyle changes, not short-term gains here okay. So if you’re interested in joining the coaching group, just go to runningleanpodcast.com/join and I hope we see you in the coaching group in January.

Okay, so speaking of January and speaking of New Year’s resolutions, let’s talk about why these don’t work typically. So yeah, this is the time of the year where everybody’s like, Okay, starting in the new year, I’m going to make some big changes in my life.

And I’ve been talking to quite a few people recently, who have told me that they are ready, they’re ready to make some changes in their life. And they’re ready to get healthy, and they’re ready to lose the weight for good this time. And they’re ready to finally do something about how they feel about themselves. And they’re ready, they’re ready, they’re ready.

And then they end up just saying, like, well, I’m just going to wait until after the holidays, I’m just going to wait until after the new year. And I’m like if you’re ready, now, you need to take action. Now. If you’re ready to make some kind of change in your life today, then you need to do something about it today.

And this is like the first thing that I want to talk about why New Year’s resolutions don’t work is because you’re picking some arbitrary date to start. And most people are just not ready on January 1 to like, make a change. If you’re not ready today, why do you think you’re going to be all of a sudden be ready on January first?

What’s gonna happen between now and then, you know, so I just want to encourage you that, you know, if you’re ready to make a big change in your life, if you’re ready to lose weight, or become a stronger runner, get into some strength training, if you’re ready to, like, become the healthiest version of yourself, and you’re ready to do that like you’re ready to commit to that just start today.

You know, don’t just do it because you think you should on the first of January, for whatever reason. So many people do this. So many people wait. So they may not be ready today, and they think they’re gonna magically become ready on the first or maybe they are ready today.

But they don’t do anything about it. And so then the first comes and they’re like, and now I’m fine. You know, you sort of lose some of that momentum that you built up some of that motivation that you had. But thinking you’re just going to be ready on the first is what’s called a false first step.

You know, we were taking the step that isn’t it isn’t true. It isn’t solid, it isn’t grounded in anything. It’s like a false step. Right? It’s like, you’re just doing it because it’s this date. That’s all right, you’ve got to be ready to make that commitment to yourself.

And like I said, if you’re ready to make that change, I suggest you just start doing something about it today, the best time to start, the best time to start improving your health was yesterday or a year ago. Right? But the next best time to start is right now.

But listen to this. Imagine, imagine if you had started on your weight loss journey this time last year, where would you be today? Imagine if you stuck to it for the last 12 months? Where would you be today? I’m going to tell you right now you would be a different person today.

I don’t want you to get to this point in 2022. I don’t want you to get to this time of the year next year, and be asking yourself that same question. Well, what if I had started? What if I had done something about this, you know, a year ago, no. Do something today, now you’ve got to be ready, you’ve got to be ready to make that commitment to yourself, you’ve got to be ready to go all-in on yourself.

You’ve got to be ready and willing to do what it takes to make those changes for yourself. Okay. But I’m just going to tell you like do not use the date of you know, January 1, as any kind of excuse or, or any sort of an arbitrary start date for you if you’re ready to go. Start now.

So that’s the first reason why New Year’s resolutions really don’t work. The next thing here is that typically when people make New Year’s resolutions, they’re very vague. They’re very vague, they’re like, I want to lose weight, I want to get healthy, I want to get back in shape again, whatever that means.

They’re just very unspecific, right? They’re not measurable, you don’t know when you’re going to get there. You know, instead of saying like, Oh, I want to lose 40 pounds by you know, April 30, or whatever,

You’re just like, I just want to lose weight, like, get healthy get in shape. And I think the reason most people use these kinds of New Year’s resolutions is because they don’t want to have to commit to anything. Because if you say to yourself and say to the world or whatever, hey, I’m going to lose 30 pounds by you know, May 1 – if you say that and then you fail you’re gonna feel like a failure. You’re gonna feel like you know, what if I let people down or what If I let myself down, I’m gonna feel like a failure.

And like, who cares? Honestly, my thing is like, if you’re just saying something vague, like lose weight or get healthy or get in shape, that doesn’t mean anything. And so you really don’t have to commit to anything.

You don’t have to actually take any action around a goal like that. Because how do you know if you even get there. In other words, there’s no risk involved, because there’s no specific like endpoint, there’s no outcome you’re actually going for.

So people will say this all the time, and I go, I’m gonna finally get healthy, I’m gonna finally lose the weight, I’m gonna finally get in shape, but then they don’t have any sort of like, measurable goal that they’re looking for.

So what I’m going to encourage you to do instead is make us make a SMART goal, you know, specific, measurable, achievable, relevant time-bound. So instead of losing weight, you know, I’m going to lose 40 pounds by May 1, or instead of getting in shape, I want to be able to do 20 unassisted pull-ups by June or something like that, like these are very specific.

Or if you want to, you know, improve your running, or be able to run longer, you can say, I’m gonna run a half marathon on May 2, you know, these are specific, measurable goals, and they’re time-bound, and they’re achievable, right?

So instead of being vague, and not committing to anything, get super freakin specific with your goals. Just say what you really want. And you know what, in the process of going after this goal that you have for yourself, you will change. You will become the kind of person that can accomplish that goal. I’ll talk about that in just a second a little bit more too.

Okay. Yeah, so the other thing I want to encourage you to do is to make your goals bigger. So this is another reason why New Year’s resolutions don’t work as people make these really small goals. They’re too small, they’re like, I want to lose three pounds in six months or something like that.

And so you don’t have to get out of your comfort zone, you don’t have to, like, do anything that’s challenging, you don’t have to do anything that’s gonna push you to become more. So you know, kind of what I was talking about as making these specific goals, I want you to also make them big, set big, scary, uncomfortable, impossible goals.

Because in the process of going after a big impossible goal, you have to transform yourself into a new person, you become a different person than you are today. So if you’re somebody who has never run a marathon before in your life, and you have a goal to run a full marathon in 2022, you got some work to do, you’re going to have to put the training in that’s required to get you not just to the starting line, but to get you across the finish line of that race.

But the work involved, if you put in the time and you do the work, then by the time you get to the starting line of that race, you will have become a marathon runner. Now you just have to finish it up by completing the actual race itself, right.

But think about it, think about the transformation involved from where you are today, to where you need to be in order to run a marathon. There’s a lot of work involved there. Most people are just not willing to put in the work there. They don’t want to get uncomfortable. They don’t want to do what it takes to become that kind of person. It’s scary. It’s hard. What if you fail, blah, blah, blah, who cares?

Do the impossible, set out to do something big next year, I’ve got some big goals for next year. And I’m not talking about them right now. Because they’re kind of personal. And some things that I’ve just not really shared with only my coach, honestly. And I think I just want to keep it close to my chest for now. I’ll talk about them later.

But um, you know, my goals are big and scary. Maybe that’s why I don’t want to share. I’m like, I don’t know. But my goals are big and scary and they make me uncomfortable. They’re outside of my comfort zone.

Listen, everything you have already is in your comfort zone. If you don’t have it, it’s out of your comfort zone. That’s the stuff you want to be going after. Not the easy little stuff, right? We don’t want the low-hanging fruit, we want the high-hanging fruit. We want the opposite of low-hanging fruit.

So what we want is the fruit at the top of the tree. We want the good stuff. We want the stuff that is not easily accessible. We want the stuff that causes us to grow, that challenges us that causes us to become more, right?

So most resolutions are just way too small. And I think we need to be instead of playing small I think we need to be playing big. I think we need to be going out to the big stuff, okay?

The other reason why most resolutions fail is that there’s no real commitment. There’s no, I’m all in on this, and I’m gonna do whatever it takes to make this happen. This is more of ah, oh, it’s New Year’s all I guess I should pick something to do.

And then it’s kind of like, oh yeah, maybe get healthy, maybe run a half marathon. It’s kind of a half-assed commitment, right. And we know we don’t have this thing, we full ass things here, right.

So there’s no real commitment with these New Year’s resolutions, right. And they’re just like, you feel like you have to do something, or else you’re not part of it, you know, who cares? Like just when you’re ready, and you’re in, you’re going to make that commitment to yourself, go all in on that commitment to yourself, you’re going to do whatever it takes to succeed with that sort of an attitude, you cannot fail.

Because as long as you’re making progress, you’re going to succeed, eventually, the only time you really fail is when you just throw up your hands and quit, and say, screw it, I’m not doing this anymore. I give up, I quit.

And I want to encourage you to never ever do that. Never ever do that. Always be making progress, relentless, forward progress, not backward progress, forward progress. You need to learn how to make that commitment to yourself, and then honor that commitment to yourself.

You make your promises to yourself, and then you keep those promises to yourself, right? You commit to working on becoming a better person and you do it, you work, you know, you commit to losing weight, or you commit to running faster, you commit to getting stronger, and you do the work it takes to get there.

The progress might be slow, it may seem like it’s not working, it may seem like it’s taking too long. Like if you want to get stronger, and you want to build bigger muscles, you know, and you start working out at the gym. I’m going to tell you right now, it takes a while before you’re going to start to see changes, you know, there’s there, it’s slow, steady progress, is what we’re looking for here, okay.

But the only way you get there is you got to commit to the process, you’ve got to commit to going out and lifting those weights a few times a week. You’ve got to commit to doing the hard work to like, you know, work until exhaustion to like, you know, really lifting until your muscles hurt.

And there’s a period of time where they do hurt, you know, and then it gets better. But it takes a while. Okay, so you’ve got to do the hard work at the gym, if you want to get the bigger muscles. And without a real commitment, at some point, you’re probably just going to throw in the towel, because it’s going to be hard.

So I want to encourage you to not do what most people do, which is just be vague, not really commit, I want to encourage you to commit to whatever it is you want to do. And then honor that commitment to yourself every day by showing up for yourself and doing what it takes to move forward. Okay.

Another reason why New Year’s resolutions just don’t work as you’re not really focusing on that habits. So many people try to do something new in the new year so they have that new year new me, I’m going to go ahead and workout more.

I’m going to change my diet, okay. And they start doing something different, they start changing their behavior, but they’re not working on these habits and, you know, thought, feeling, action patterns that they’ve developed over the last 30 years or so. They’re just trying to change their behavior, which is the least effective way to change a habit is to just change the behavior, you’ve got to work on the mindset.

That has to be the foundation, your thoughts and feelings are driving your actions and you have to work on that mental and emotional part of your habit or you’re not going to see these changes actually happen, you’re not going to be creating the new habits.

It takes a while to build up to these new habits. You know, it takes a while it takes like you know, I’ve heard some experts say around 90 days to change habits to break old habits and to establish new ones. And that means 90 days of doing the same things over and over again.

And again this goes to that commitment level to like are you committed to changing your habits because if you are you’re gonna have to go through a period of discomfort. There’s discomfort involved with let’s say you want to like not snack during the day you just want to like eliminate snacking.

The way to do it is to just stop snacking, and be uncomfortable because it’s going to be uncomfortable, right? I tell people this all the time, and they just look at me, like, you know, with one eyebrow raised, like, are you serious, I’m like, yeah, you just got to stop snacking. And then and then sit there and be uncomfortable.

Embrace the discomfort of not eating the snack, even though you want it. That’s how you break a habit like that. It’s hard to do I get it, it’s really hard to do. But the important thing here is that you understand that it’s a simple process, stop doing this one thing, and, you know, sit with the discomfort of not doing it and then do something else instead.

You know, if you’re, if you’re used to, you know, if you want to get into the habit of running every morning, then you gotta set your alarm earlier and get up to go for your run. You know, if you don’t do that, if you just keep saying to yourself, like, you know what, I’m just gonna, today I’m just gonna stay in bed.

And then you do that every other day, it’s like, you’re not really building a new habit, you’re just kind of reinforcing that old habit that you have of sleeping in. And if what you want for yourself is to run every morning, then you got to set your alarm and you’ve got to, you know, that alarm goes off, those feet have to hit the ground, and you’ve got to get out there and, and run even when you don’t feel like it.

Even when it’s hard, even when it’s cold, even when it’s raining, even when you’re just like I just want five more minutes of sleep, you’ve got to just get up and do it if you want to change that habit. So most people don’t focus on the habit change, they just want to like they just focus on the behavior.

You know, they just focus on oh, I’ve just got to like, get up early every day. But you’ve got to work on the mindset behind that you got to work on the foundation, which is your thoughts and feelings about it.

You know, you got to do that thought work that’s involved with changing how you think and feel about getting up in the morning, how you think and feel about running how you think and feel about yourself. And what is this going to mean for you?

And when you work on that stuff, getting up in the morning is kind of a no-brainer, but you’ve got to work on the mental-emotional stuff first, okay. So most people there just don’t work on the habits, they’re just trying to change behaviors. And that just doesn’t work.

Another reason why New Year’s resolutions don’t work is too often we’re focused on perfection. You know, like say you want to lose some weight, you want to lose like 40 pounds. So you change your diet, and you’re sticking your plan for the most part, but then you blow it and you cheat here and there.

And then, you know, you’re just, you just feel like you keep falling short. And if you can’t do it perfectly, why do it at all? And so you just quit. And I want to encourage you to not do this. Perfection, doing things perfectly is just not possible. It’s not possible for any of us, right? I don’t do things perfectly. I know you don’t either. And it’s okay.

Instead of focusing on perfection, I want you to focus on progress. Are you making forward progress? Yes or no? It’s pretty easy to tell, is what you’re doing moving you closer to your goals or further away from your goals? Is you know, eating this donut on the plan for you or not?

Pretty simple, pretty simple to know. Is this going to help me to make progress or not? And if you’re not, then you got to switch your focus a little bit, you need to focus on the things that are gonna move you forward.

It doesn’t mean you’re going to do it perfectly, does not mean you’re going to do it perfectly. You know, think again about where you want to be at the end of next year. You know, this time next year? How did you get there? Did you do it perfectly? Probably not.

You probably missed a workout here or there. You probably snuck in a donut here. You probably drank more than you wanted to here or there. Right? It’s okay. You can do it. What I want to encourage you to do is not skip two workouts in a row not have two bad meals in a row.

In other words, if you have a cheat meal or whatever, get back on track with your next meal. If you miss a workout, don’t miss your next workout. Never miss two workouts in a row, never two cheat meals in a row. Slow and steady. Progress wins the race every single time.

That’s what we want to focus on not perfection, you will never do this perfectly. And if you’re striving for perfection then you’re going to fall short and you’re going to get disappointed and you’re going to feel discouraged. So I want you to focus on doing it to the best of your ability and making slow and steady progress instead. Okay.

And then the last thing I have the last reason why most New Year’s resolutions don’t work for people is that you’re not holding yourself accountable, there’s no accountability and there’s no support system in place.

Right what you’re doing, especially when we talk about changing habits, changing our health and fitness – becoming leaner, becoming stronger, becoming a faster, more powerful runner, whatever it is that you want for yourself – I’m going to tell you right now, it will get hard, it will become challenging at some point.

And if you don’t have a support system in place, and you don’t have somebody that’s there to hold you accountable, your chances of quitting, your chances of giving up are going to be much higher, right.

You’re going to get down, things aren’t going to work out, you’re going to get bummed out, you’re going to be hard on yourself. And you’re going to have no one there to help you get out of that. And most people just quit way too easily in these situations. Okay.

Accountability is huge, you know, get an accountability partner, if you have somebody. Let’s talk about running. Like if you want to run more regularly, you want to get up earlier to run, have somebody that you run with – get a running partner.

That way you guys have to, like show up for each other. You know, I encourage people to join a running group, I love my running group, they’ve helped me to stay accountable for running. I’m not going to get up on a cold Saturday morning to run by myself. I mean, I do.

But I’m much more likely and more excited and more motivated to do that when I know that my running group is out there, you know, all they’re all going to be running with me. Plus we have tons of fun. So that’s super fun.

But this is a big part of what I do as a coach, right? I show you things that you know, maybe you don’t see about yourself, I hold you accountable. I help you to overcome the things you struggle with, you know, the self-sabotage.

I encourage you to do things you don’t want to do I help you stay on track, always moving towards your goals. You know, I offer the support and encouragement, and motivation that you need to keep going.

But then there’s this accountability piece, which is so huge. People tell me all the time, they’re like, yeah, I was going to eat this like cake, but I knew I was going to have my call with you today. So I just decided not to do it. I didn’t want to have to tell you I did this.

Or I have people telling me they just love the fact that they get to check in with me every week. And they can be like, oh my gosh, I just love the accountability, because this is what’s helping me to stay on track. Okay.

So make sure that whatever you’re doing for yourself, that you have either an accountability partner, group, a coach, something like that, and remember that our coaching group starting in January, it can be your accountability partner, you know, we’re going to be creating a lot of momentum in January by learning exactly how to become fat-adapted, and how to lose those eight pounds by January 31. That’s our goal.

That’s our challenge – to help each other and hold each other accountable. And to offer the support and encouragement and motivation for each other to hit this goal by the end of January.

So if you’d like to join us, I’d love to have you in there. I think it would be super fun. And we can all do New Year’s resolutions the right way we can all do. Goal setting the right way. So if you’re interested in joining us for January, we’d love to have you just go to runningleanpodcast.com/join.

Alright, that’s all I got for you guys today. Hope you have a wonderful holiday season here. Love you all keep on Running Lean. I’ll talk to you soon.

If you’re a runner and you’ve been struggling to lose weight or you keep losing and gaining the same 10 pounds over and over again. Or you’re finally ready to get to your natural weight and stay there for good this time then I have something you will love. I’ve created a powerful new training just for you called running lean for life. You’ll learn exactly how to transform yourself into a lean fat-burning running machine. So you can run without bonking, lose weight without calorie counting and develop the habits required to make it last for life. To get this free training right now go to runningleanpodcast.com/leanforlife and start your transformation today.