109. Who Are You Becoming?

My name is Patrick McGilvray, and I’m an experienced marathoner, ultra runner, Sports Nutritionist, Master Life Coach, and weight loss coach for runners. I’ve dedicated my life to helping runners just like you properly fuel your body and your mind. So you can get leaner, get stronger, run faster, and run longer than you ever thought possible. This is Running Lean.

Hey there, and welcome to episode 109 of Running Lean. My name is Patrick McGilvray, the weight loss coach for runners today, who are you becoming? Who are you becoming? It’s a good question, right? The thing is, most people don’t ever ask themselves this question. They don’t spend any time thinking about who they really want to become. This is a problem.

If you don’t know where you’re going, how are you supposed to get there? If you don’t know who you want to become in the future, chances are pretty good that you’re going to stay stuck, right where you are right now. So in this episode, I’m going to talk about the importance of contemplating this powerful question, Who am I becoming, and then I’m going to talk about how to start working toward becoming that exact version of yourself. Cool, this will be fun, I think it’s gonna be a good one.

First, if you like this podcast, come check out the Running Lean Podcast community on Facebook. This is a group of like-minded people who come to share their experience,to share their encouragement, to share their inspiration, and to post selfies of them running. And it’s a lot of fun, we have a lot of fun in the community, I post challenges in there, sometimes, I’ll occasionally do a training or a coaching session in there. And it’s all designed to be a positive encouraging place to go. People say they love the Facebook community, we’d love to have you over there. So just search for Running Lean Community on Facebook, and come join us.

And then listen, all this talk about nutrition and weight loss and fueling for running and becoming the best version of yourself. All this stuff can be confusing, it can feel overwhelming, can feel frustrating. There’s a lot of conflicting information out there. figuring it all out on your own can be very challenging.

But listen, if you want to hit the easy button, one on one coaching with me might be just the thing for you. With coaching, you get the knowledge, the expert guidance, the support, the encouragement, the accountability, you get someone there, who knows what you’re going through, who knows how to get you to your goals, somebody that’s there to give you feedback, to help you figure out what’s working, what’s not what to do next, someone in your corner who’s always there for you who’s always got your back.

This is like you and I working closely together to help you become that badass future version of yourself. You know, the one who’s lean and strong, the one who feels good about yourself. The best part is all helped you develop the mindset to make all this something that you do for life. It’s one thing to like lose weight or hit a running goal. It’s another thing to be healthy to be a healthy, strong human being and make it last for life. That’s the work we do together. So who are you becoming? And let’s get you there together. You can apply for coaching over at runningleanpodcast.com/apply. Let’s make 2022 the year that you changed your life for good.
Cool. All right, I am so excited about talking about this today. I’ve been thinking about this topic for a while now. And I’ve touched on this in several different ways in the past, but I really want to put this together in a way that really is simple and makes sense for you. Okay.

And so there’s this question of who are you becoming? And the reason I’m talking about this today is because most people seem to feel like they’re stuck where they are. They don’t feel like they have any direction. Right? They don’t really have an idea of who they want to become.

Even people that are like, Oh yeah, I want to be healthier, like what does that mean for you? And sometimes they’re like, I don’t know. I just want to feel healthier. Well, you got to know what that means. But if you don’t know who you want to become, if you don’t have a clear vision of who it is you want to become, how are you going to get there? I’m telling you right now, you’re not going to get there because You’re a boat without a rudder, you’re just like going aimlessly right? Through your life.

You’re not going to get anywhere and nothing is ever going to work for you, you’re not going to experience the growth and the change that you really want for yourself. And you’re just going to kind of stay stuck where you are right now. And there’s nothing wrong with any of this if that’s what you want for yourself.

If you’re cool with where you are right now, and you’re like, I’m good, Patrick, I don’t, I don’t want to like be better. I don’t want to be healthier. I don’t want to get stronger, or leaner or run faster, or like do my first ultra-marathon or push myself and see what I’m capable of.

If you’re fine with where you are right now. That’s amazing. You do you. But I know you. I know the people that listen to this podcast are like, ‘No, Patrick, I’m on board with this, I want more for myself, I want to see what I’m capable of, I want to become more.’ But you have to have a very clear vision of what that means for you.

Okay, so most people just don’t have that vision, they don’t have the direction, they don’t really know what they want for themselves. So you got to have that very clear vision of who it is you want to become okay. Another reason I’m talking about this is that I get asked questions all the time from people on social media, in the Facebook group, and they’ll ask me questions, like, ‘What foods should I eat? What foods should I not eat? How do I fuel for running? How many carbs should I eat? How often should I be running? How many times a week? Should I lift weights? How should I structure these workouts? What should my macros look like?’

And on and on and on? Right? All these questions and they’re good questions. And we do want to, you know, focus on those at some point. You know that is part of the equation here. But I think from the get-go, you’re kind of focusing on the wrong things.

First, well, first of all, I have to say this, that the answer to all those questions is always it depends. Nobody likes to hear that answer either. I’m like, ‘Well, it depends. Like, what are your goals? What’s your lifestyle look like? What are your likes and dislikes? What do you what are you trying to achieve? Are you trying to lose weight? Are you trying to change your body composition? Are you trying to get stronger? Are you trying to run your first ultra-marathon?’

Like what is it that you want for yourself? It ultimately comes down to answering that question, Who are you becoming? And most people are just not focused on this. They just want me to tell them what to do. They just want somebody to say, do this and not that. And I’m telling you right now that unless you have this other deeper, more powerful question figured out, who do you want to become; what you’re doing isn’t going to make a lot of sense.

When you can answer that question, oh, this is who I want to become in the future. This is what I want for myself. This is what I want my life to look like, this is what I want my body to look like, this is how and where I want my running to be. When you can answer those questions very clearly, then what you do becomes much more obvious. It’s much more obvious, much easier to answer those questions for yourself.

Okay. Here’s another reason why I want to talk about this today. Most coaches and I’ve talked to a lot of people who have had other types of coaches, either dieticians, they’ve worked with nutrition coaches, personal trainers, running coaches, and almost every person I talked to tells me that their coaches always focus on what to do.

So they’re just like, here’s your plan, this is what you need to do. Don’t do this, do this over here, boom, done. And they may talk about goals, they may say like, ‘Oh, you want to run faster? Okay, well, here’s what you’re going to do.’ And that’s about it. That’s about as deep as it goes.

But I have to tell you, that there’s this much deeper and much more powerful force at work within you. And I want to help you to tap into that force. When you ignore this powerful force within you. You kind of leave a lot on the table.

And so with me and my clients and the people that I coach and the people that I work with, we work very closely together on creating a vision for who they want to become we really focus on this because here’s the thing, this powerful force within you. This powerful force that is driving you forward, is this it’s that as a human being, you must act consistently with how you define yourself.

And when I say how you define yourself, I’m saying how you define yourself now and how you define who you are becoming in the future. Most people do not spend any time on this at all, most coaches don’t spend any time on this at all. They just said, ‘Oh, you want to run faster, here’s what you need to do.’ And they’re not looking at that internal driving force that’s really powering, whether you’re going to accomplish these goals or not.

So we spend a lot of time working on that vision that we have for ourselves. And everything we do, is focused on getting you closer and closer to that version of yourself. Because when you have a very clear picture of who you want to become, you know, like I said earlier, like, knowing what to do becomes much easier, it’s much easier to stick with it, it’s much easier to see if you’re making progress towards that goal, because you have it all well defined, right?

Most people just never do this work of defining who they are, who they want to become. So most people are operating from what they’ve done in the past. Most people are focused on how things have gone for them in the past, whether they’ve been able to do something or not. And they kind of focus all of this on whether they are able to do this today.

For example, one thing I talk to people about all the time is like, ‘Hey, when you’ve tried in the past to, you know, lose weight, let’s say, what’s not worked for you?’ And they’ll say, ‘Oh, this and this and that. And that’s why it never works for me. And that’s why I can’t do this today. And that’s why I’m stuck here today is because, you know, I’ve tried this in the past, I’ve tried all these different diets, I’ve never been able to stick with anything. I always gained the weight back. Nothing is ever worked for me.’

And they’re stuck in this loop of repeating that exact past, today. Can you relate to this? I think we all can to some degree, where we’ve said, ‘Well, I’ve never been able to make this work in the past. What’s different about today? How can I possibly do anything differently? If it’s never worked for me in the past, I’ve never been able to run faster than this speed for a half marathon, how can I possibly run faster than that? I’ve tried, it’s never worked.’

And all of that stuff in your past, all the experiences, all the failures, all the even all the good stuff like this is just where you were, this is what got you to where you are today. But if you keep focused on your past, that’s where you’re going to stay. If you can’t think feel or behave differently than the way you’ve done things in the past, this is your only frame of reference, then you are going to keep repeating all those same things, those same behaviors, the same thought and feeling patterns, and you’re just going to stay stuck doing the same things over and over again. You’re never going to grow, you’re never going to become anything more than what you’ve already done.

Now, I talked about this in-depth in Episode 91, called Breaking the Habit of Being You. So this is a similar concept here. Okay. So definitely go check out that episode. It really goes into this concept with a lot more detail. But if you can’t think past what you’ve already accomplished, that’s all you’re ever going to accomplish. That’s all you’re ever going to be.

If you can’t think bigger than your past, you’re never going to be bigger than your past. And it’s kind of depressing when you think about it, right? It’s like, oh my god, I better start thinking about my future. Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying here. You’ve got to start thinking about who you want to become. This is such a huge, powerful, amazing, life-changing, transformational question that you have to answer for yourself.

So the better way to do this is to approach your life from the perspective of the future you. You’ve got to ask yourself who you want to become. You have to spend time on this. You have to spend time answering this question in great detail for yourself.

What do you really want for yourself? Do you want to be where you are a year from now? Because that’s an option for you? Or do you want to be stronger, leaner? More fit, healthier? Do you want running to be easier? Or do you want to just be where you are today? The choice is yours. It really is. The first step is defining who you want to be in the future. Who are you becoming? So spend some time on this question. Answer this question in great detail.

Okay. What does that future version of you look like? What have you accomplished? How do you feel about yourself? What are those changes that you want to make to your health and fitness? You know, how do you look in those clothes? How do you look in that bikini, you get to decide, you get to decide, isn’t that awesome? I think that’s amazing. How empowering is that?

So make a decision, have a crystal clear vision of who you are becoming so that you know where you’re going. And every day you make decisions that move you closer and closer to that version of yourself. And I talk about this concept called remembering your future. We remember our past, we’re good at that we can remember all the stuff we’ve done. And all the times we screwed up and all the failures we’ve ever, you know, done in the past. Like, we’re good at remembering our past.

I want you to start remembering your future, you’ve got to know where you’re going. You’ve got to know who you’re becoming. So that you can start doing things today that are in alignment with that future version of yourself. So instead of operating from your past, remembering everything from your past, and repeating all that over and over and over again, start remembering your future, start remembering that future version of yourself that awesome, healthy, badass version of yourself. Start remembering that, spend some time thinking about it.

That’s what it really means to remember, to spend time thinking about it. What does it feel like to be that future version of yourself? And remember that who you are becoming is just, it’s completely up to you, you get to decide, and you get to work towards that every single day. And then it just becomes a series of decisions that you’re making each day.

Am I moving closer to that vision of myself? That future? That person I’m becoming? Or am I moving further away? is usually a pretty cut and dry picture of that, right? It’s usually very clear is this decision I’m making? If I shove these donuts in my mouth right now, is that moving me closer to my goal? Or is it kind of further away? It’s pretty obvious, right?

It’s the difference between just keep repeating what you’ve done in the past and only getting where you’ve gotten to and staying stuck where you are, versus creating this new version of yourself, reinventing yourself transforming yourself based on who you want to become in the future.

Okay. Like I said, my clients and I, we spend a lot of time on this, we talk about it all the time, it’s so important to be future-focused, we don’t really dwell on the past. In fact, the past is just done, it’s over with you can’t change it. So just put it behind you.

It doesn’t matter what you’ve not been able to do in the past, it doesn’t matter that you’ve tried every diet and they’ve never worked for you. We’re going to try something different. You know, and we’re going to get you there. There’s no reason why we can’t make something work going forward. No reason. Unless you’re focused on what you’ve not been able to do in the past.

So everything we do, we want to focus on becoming that amazing, badass version of ourselves, right? Spend time on this, spend time thinking about this. Spend time, like thinking about who it is you want to become but really how that how you want to feel? How do you want to feel in the future? What does that future version of you feel like?

This is one of the most important questions you can ask yourself some of the most important work you can do for yourself. It really sets the foundation for everything that you do. If you don’t have this question figured out if you don’t have a clear picture of who you want to become – you’re just kind of like going through the motions. You’re sort of aimless, right, a rudderless ship, we don’t want to be a rudderless ship, we want to want to have that rudder going, keeping us moving in the right direction, okay?

You’ve got to get you got to practice this. But when you practice it and you keep living into that future version of yourself, you get good at it, just like anything else that you practice you the more you practice it, the more it becomes the reality that you want for yourself. But you’ve got to start thinking about it and start feeling it and really living into who you’re becoming.

And then it just becomes inevitable. Getting there is just like, ‘Oh, of course, I’m going to get there because it’s just this is who I am and this is what I do.’ Remember, you always get what you focus on. You always get more and more of what you focus on. So focus on who it is that you really want to become. Cool. You got this, my friends.

And listen if you ever want a little help out with this just go over to runningleanpodcast.com/apply and let’s talk about hitting that easy button on all this for you. Alright love you all keep on Running Lean, and I’ll talk to you soon.

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