13. What Are You Choosing to Believe About Yourself?

My name is Patrick McGilvray, and I’m an experienced marathoner, ultra runner, running coach and mindset expert. I believe mindset is the most powerful and most underrated tool you have as a runner. So I’ve devoted my life to helping runners like you develop the mindset you need to fuel your inner fire and become the badass runner you were meant to be. This is The Running Mind podcast.

Hey there and welcome to The Running Mind podcast. My name is Patrick McGilvray. And I’m your host and I’m the life coach for runners. I help you overcome your obstacles in running and in life so you can unleash your inner badass. Just a quick reminder, my stop overeating masterclass, called You Can’t Outrun Your Fork starts Monday, April 6.

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So if you’re hearing this on Friday, then you’ll probably want to sign up right away. If you get to this Saturday, Sunday, something like that, and you go to sign up and you can’t it just means the class is full. And you’ll have to wait till next time. But next time it’s going to be like 10 times more expensive. I kid you not. If you want to get in, do it now just go to innerfiretribe.com/stopovereating. I hope to see you there. It’s going to be epic.

Okay, on to today’s topic, what are you choosing to believe about yourself? So very often I hear clients say things like, oh, I’m not a real runner. You know, I only do half marathons. Or I could never run a full marathon. Because I ran a half once and it was really hard. Or I suck at running trails every time I do it. I trip and fall.

So I’m terrible at it. Or I’ve tried everything to lose weight and nothing ever works for me. So I’m just, I’m always going to be overweight and nothing works for me. Or I’ll never be a success because I’ve always failed at stuff in the past. So isn’t it interesting that we can take things that have happened in our past and we assign some sort of meaning to it? And then we adopt it as something we believe 100% is true.

So just because you’ve only run a half marathon, does that mean that you’re not a real runner? No, absolutely. You’re a real runner. Actually, you know, it makes you a real runner. You run. You go outside and you run a mile, you run 10 miles, it does not matter. Doesn’t matter how far or how fast. You’re a runner if you run.

And just because you’ve tripped and fallen on the trails does not mean you suck at running trails. I know a lot of people that fall all the time. I love running trails, I’m thinking I’m a pretty damn good trail runner. And I’ve fallen dozens of times, it does not mean anything. But what we do is we assign meaning to something that has happened to us. And then we adopt it as a belief. It’s something that we believe in about ourselves. And it holds us back a lot of the time.

We have, as humans, we’ve actually developed this knack for taking certain events from our past, especially like traumatic events from our past, and then creating deep seated beliefs around them. So much so that our past we think our past is who we are, we have become our past.

So let’s say we were rejected by someone, or sexually assaulted, or hurt by someone or embarrassed or bullied. We often believe that these these things mean we are were broken in some way, that we are unworthy or we are damaged goods. And I can relate to this, honestly, I’ve had some experiences in my past.

I’ve had troubles with an addiction to alcohol. I’ve had troubles with being very overweight, I’ve had troubles with being very sick, and unhealthy, and had cancer. And my wife left me. And I used to believe that because of all those things happened, were happening to me within a, you know, pretty short period of time that I was broken. And I couldn’t be fixed, like there was something inherently wrong with me, and that I was just not a good person.

And, I mean, I had all the evidence, you know, I was sick. I was a failure. My life was a failure. It was overdrinking, I was overweight, I had this sickness. And all those things I believed about myself, since I believed I was a failure, they drove my action. So I just drank more. And I ate whatever I wanted to. I didn’t care about how I looked or how I felt or how sick I was, I got into one bad relationship after another and then I could say like, hey, yeah, see, see what a failure I am? Like to justify it all. Because of what I call the facts of my life, my actions were building into these, these negative beliefs.

You know, our beliefs drive our actions, then our actions produce results. Usually negative results that prove our negative beliefs are true for us. And this negative belief cycle just keeps going on and on. We all have gotten sucked into it at one point or another. So we use our past to believe we are unworthy or unlovable or doomed or just unlucky. Or like I said, damaged goods. Do you believe that though? Is any of this really true at all? No.

It is not the events of our past that shape who we are, but rather, our beliefs about what those things mean. What shapes who we are is the meaning that we assign to the events that happened in our lives. For instance, you don’t have to believe in the shame of a past event. You can believe that you are a magnificent creature full of light and love, not because of what did or didn’t happen to you. But just because you’re a human being alive on planet Earth and you were born good enough.

The moment you were born, you were born perfect, and beautiful, and lovable, and worthy beyond measure, the only one who thinks you’re not, is you because of what you believe. So no matter what’s happened in your past, you get to choose what it means to you today. And you absolutely have a choice in the matter. You get to choose what you believe about yourself.

I want to talk a little bit about belief systems. So a belief system is a whole group of beliefs that all feed off one another. They all support each other. So for example, if you believe you will always be overweight because you believe you’re weak. You have no willpower. You’re lazy, life is hard. You don’t deserve to be thin, your metabolism sucks, you’re ugly, it will always be a struggle for you.

Wow, there’s a complete belief system there that’s completely sabotaging any chance you have for success at losing weight. Or maybe you believe you’ll never be able to run a marathon because marathons are hard. And you’re not mentally or physically strong enough? And I mean, you’ve never run that far before. So why would you be able to do it now? And you’re just not capable of that much drive and determination, and you probably won’t be able to finish anyway.

So there’s a whole belief system about why you can’t run a marathon. So what do you think your chances are of succeeding? When you firmly believe all those things 100%. That’s right, zero, zip nada, nil, it’s just never gonna happen. You’ll need to dismantle these whole belief systems one by one, you’ve got to pick apart each one of those false beliefs that you think is true, that you think is a part of your identity, it’s really not.

It’s just a belief that you chose to believe at some point in your life. And you’ve got to address each one of those false beliefs and then choose to believe something else. Instead, you have to create a whole new belief system around what you do want. But it’s crazy, how we choose to believe all this negative crap about ourselves. It really is, it’s crazy.

Have you noticed that little kids don’t do this, they don’t go out there, and don’t think they can’t do something. You know what I mean? So a little kid is like, you know, learning how to ride a bike, they don’t think I can’t do it, and they just give up and never ride a bike. No, they just keep trying. Right? Little kids, they, you know, they’re learning how to walk. They don’t think to themselves. Yeah, I don’t know, I’ve never been able to do this before. So chances are pretty good, I won’t be able to do this.

No, they just show up and they do it. They keep trying and trying and trying to keep falling on their asses. And eventually they figure it out. At some point along the way, though, we’ve lost sight of that. We’ve developed this belief about ourselves, where we can’t do things we’ve started to like, look at our past and see how that’s going to affect our future. The truth though, is your past does not determine your future.

What you’ve done or not done in the past actually has nothing to do with what you, who you are or what you can do in the future. I mean, if we all believe this, if we all believe that our past determines our future, nothing new had ever happened, no one would ever do anything new, nothing new in our world would have ever been invented.

We would never have gone to the moon, we wouldn’t have iPhones, we probably would never have left the caves back in the day, right? We’d all be like, well, this cave is pretty good. You know, let’s not get crazy and try something new, like building a house because that’s something we’ve never done before. So I can’t possibly do that because we’ve never done anything like that before.

I don’t know, it’s crazy. But from this moment here, right now, you get to choose how you want to think you get to choose what you want to believe. You get to choose what you want to do. And you get to choose who you want to be right now, regardless of what you’ve ever done, or not done in your past.

But instead, what we do too often is we assign meaning or quote unquote truth to events from our past. And we take that truth. And we apply it to everything that we do, we prove it. And everything that we do, we prove that it’s true over and over and over again. And then we get stuck in that crazy loop of negative beliefs, and we can’t get out of it. And we just feel we just get stuck right in place right where we are. And we don’t ever get anywhere with our running.

We don’t ever lose the weight. We don’t ever try to get into another relationship because why bother? It hasn’t worked before I’ve failed. I’m a failure.

What you want to do is you want to start to change those beliefs, those negative beliefs you have about yourself, they are limiting your potential. They are holding you back. A lot of times we call these limiting beliefs because that’s what they do they limit our potential. So here’s an exercise you can do to start building new beliefs about yourself.

First of all, write down all have negative things that you believe about yourself, don’t hold back, just get it all out, pull out a piece of paper and a pen, write it down by hand, I love writing by hand, it’s so visceral, it helps you to get that information into your subconscious mind in a way that typing in on a computer does not. It’s a little bit slower for most people.

And so, you know, it helps to build those neural pathways. And the technology doesn’t get in the way I find when I start typing stuff, I’m constantly correcting errors, and it’s just a little bit of a clunkier process than just writing by hand. I don’t care about the grammar and all that other stuff. Anyway, that was a little sidebar.

But anyway, get out a piece of paper and a pen, write the stuff down, write down all the negative beliefs that you have about yourself. Don’t hold that. For example, I’m not good enough to ever be in a relationship again, because I’ve had two failed marriages. Or I’ll never have the body I want because I always fail when I’m trying to lose weight, I’m a failure. Or I could never run a marathon because running is too hard for me, I can’t do it, I’m not good enough to do it, you know, whatever it is, write out all that stuff. Just get it all down.

When you have filled a page, because you will have a lot of stuff that you believe by yourself, once you really dig deep, you’ll start to uncover stuff that is a little a little bit below the surface, okay? For each of these negative beliefs that you write down, I want you to write down what you want to start believing instead. Typically, it’s the opposite of that negative belief.

So write down what you want to believe instead, starting now, because you get to choose your choosing every one of these negative beliefs. Why? Why would you choose those? Why would you choose the negative beliefs? It’s crazy. I do it, too. I’m not yelling at you. We’re in this together. Okay, I got you.

Okay, so anyway, write down what you want to believe instead starting now. So typically it is the opposite. For example, I am more than good enough, because I am an amazing person, I’ve been an amazing partner in the past, I am capable of incredibly rich relationships full of love full of life full of fun adventure, I will have the exact body I want because I am now 100% committed to changing my relationship to food, I am a success story in the making. That’s a much more empowering belief.

Do you hear that? Or, I will absolutely run a marathon even though running is hard. Sometimes, hey, running is just hard. But just because it’s hard, doesn’t mean I can’t do it. I’ve done all kinds of hard things in my life. And if I set my mind to it, I can do this too. What an empowering belief to have instead of, I can’t do it, because it’s too hard for me.

Okay, the next thing you have to do is you have to take action. So after you write down the opposite of these limiting beliefs, you’re writing down the more empowering beliefs, the beliefs that you want to believe, instead, you’re probably going to feel pretty motivated by that and inspired. And that’s where you have to start taking action.

This is the important part, you’ve got to get busy, proving that these new beliefs are true for you in your life, by taking action every day to make them come true. So just sitting around thinking about these things and writing them down, it’s great. And you should do that. And I would encourage you to do that. And I would encourage you to read them everyday too.

Because the writing, the thinking about them, the writing, and the reading them everyday helps build those new neural pathways, what you’re doing is in your brain, you’re creating new belief habits in your brain that will overwrite those old habits. So this is how you reprogram your brain. Okay, but besides just thinking about them and writing them down and reading them, you also have to take action to move in the direction of these new beliefs every day.

Taking action is how you will produce new results in your life and start to get the things that you want in your life. So maybe, if you want like a new, better relationship, you go on a bunch of dates and you start building awesome new relationships and new relationship skills. You have fun, you be yourself, you show up authentically. And you don’t have to make some major commitment. Just go out there and enjoy being with other people with no drama, no expectations and just have fun.

You know if you want to lose weight, if that’s the thing that you want for yourself or for your life, commit to eating only food that fuels your body, stop eating processed food, stop eating sugar, and start eating more of what serves you and the food that will serve Have you and your weight loss goals.

And if you want to run a marathon, pick a marathon, you know, six months out, eight months out and start training, pick a training plan, join a running group, when we’re allowed to do that again. Find a running partner, find a virtual running partner if you need to, or just go out there and go for a run. Take action today to move in the direction of your goals and your dreams and the things that you want.

And do it from this place of this new belief. When your new beliefs are driving that action, you will be unstoppable. This is how you build up these whole new belief systems. I mean, it took a long time to build the old beliefs and old belief systems and took a long time to get you to where you are here today, stuck. It’s going to take a little bit of time to undo that, okay, to loosen up the grip that you have on your limitations on your old illogical false beliefs.

You know, you’ve spent a great deal of time over the years finding ways to constantly prove all these old limiting beliefs were true even though they were not. So it’s gonna take a little bit of time to build up the new beliefs, but you’ve got to take action. And you do this by continually making progress and proving to yourself over and over again that this new belief is the one that you’re adopting.

This new belief is the one that you’re choosing. You get to choose what you believe. You know, believing in yourself is not some gift that some people have and others don’t. It’s not like, oh, well, he believes in himself. So you know, that’s awesome. Good for him. I just don’t know, it’s a decision that somebody made along the way. It’s a choice that you get to make.

Make the decision today right now to believe in yourself. Choose to believe that you are glorious, beautiful, worthy, strong, because you are. Choose to believe that you have the power of the universe behind you in everything you do, because you do choose to believe that matter. No matter how much fat you have on your body, or how much pain you’ve experienced in your past, or how hard running is for you. From this moment forward, you will believe in yourself.

And then I want to leave you with this little bit from Wayne Dyer. Wayne Dyer has a book called You’ll See It When You Believe It. And so many people think it’s the other way around, you know, I’ll believe it when I see it. But if you want something to happen in your life, you have to believe it will happen first.

Not like oh, once I get this thing, then I’ll believe in it. You know, once I see the results, then I can believe in myself. No, it does not work like that. You have to believe in yourself 100% in order to get those results. Always, always, and period. Choose to believe in yourself, my friends.

So that’s all I got for you today. I hope you are staying safe and sane at home during the COVID19 crisis we’re experiencing right now. Listen, I understand this is a challenging event happening in your life. You get to choose what it means to you. You might choose to believe that this is the worst thing that could possibly happen, that you’re never going to get back on track with your training, that your running season is ruined, the world is not a safe place or something terrible is going to happen to you or someone you know.

Or instead, you can choose to believe that this is the moment where you step up your game and you become the badass person you are meant to be. You choose to believe that this is a temporary situation and you’ll get back on track with your training soon and you’ll actually be stronger and faster than ever before.

You can choose to believe that all pandemic you know these global pandemics come and go because they have and this too shall pass this is temporary and that you and everyone you know is going to be just fine. What you choose to believe shapes who you are just remember that so who do you want to be? As always, you can reach out with questions or comments hello@innerfiretribe.com. I’d love to hear what you think of this. Send me a message and just say hey, here’s what I thought. Have an amazing day my friends much love to each and every one of you

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