133. Being an Example to Those Around You

My name is Patrick McGilvray, and I’m an experienced marathoner, ultra runner, Sports Nutritionist, Master Life Coach, and weight loss coach for runners. I’ve dedicated my life to helping runners just like you properly fuel your body and your mind. So you can get leaner, get stronger, run faster, and run longer than you ever thought possible. This is Running Lean.

Hey there, and welcome to Episode 133, of Running Lean. My name is Patrick McGilvray, the weight loss coach for runners and today being an example to those around you. So today, I’ve got a bit of a different podcast episode for you. Today, I want this to be more of a call to action. So I believe that each and every one of us has the ability to make a positive impact on this world. And you don’t have to be a celebrity, or a social media influencer in order to do it.

Being an example of those around me is a big part of my mission. It’s how I make a positive impact in the world. And it drives me ever forward. So my hope today is that you listen to this episode and then take action. And I’m going to encourage you to do something today to start being an example to those around you. And then maybe just maybe some of those people will do the same.

And just imagine the ripple effect of positive changes we could make if we all lead by example. But first, I’m going to talk quickly about the Running Lean coaching project. This is my coaching program, my immersive coaching program. And something I want to mention today is that the way that I do coaching is a little bit different from other people, I don’t just hand over a plan and say, here’s what you’re going to do. And then you’re kind of on your own.

This is about creating new habits, it’s about creating a different lifestyle. Because what you’ve been doing up to this point, probably hasn’t been working for you. Or you’ve tried a bunch of things in the past, a bunch of other diets, maybe even had some other type of nutrition coaching, or dietary advice or dietary coaching, that really hasn’t worked for you.

And so I do things differently. What I teach in my programs is all about longevity, it’s all about sustainability. It’s all about maintaining good healthy eating habits and good exercise habits. For the rest of your life. It isn’t about the short term, it’s not about losing weight as fast as possible. It’s not about some quick fix. This is about the long term.

Remember, being healthy isn’t a destination we’re trying to get to, being healthy is how we live our life going forward. And I teach you exactly how to do all this in the Running Lean coaching project. Right. So this is my immersive coaching program, you get group coaching, IT support from the group, it has support and personalized guidance from me, the one on one coaching with me, they get tons of access to me.

And this, this whole program is designed to help you get results. It’s about results. It’s about you accomplishing your goals, whatever those look like for you. So it’s a personalized approach that helps you accomplish your goals, and is going to look different for you than it does for somebody else. And that’s cool, because there is no one size fits all when it comes to becoming the healthiest and most badass version of yourself. There just isn’t. That’s why I do what I do.

And if you want this for yourself, if you want to learn how to become the best version of yourself and how to maintain that forever, then just go to runningleancoaching.com/apply, fill out a short application, you and I will jump on a zoom call. I’ll talk to you all about the coaching program, I’ll explain exactly how it works. And we’ll just see if there’s a good fit for you. Sound good? runningleancoaching.com/apply, I would love to have you in the Running Lean coaching project. Okay, so on to this topic today, being an example to those around you.

And like I said at the beginning, this is a bit of a different episode, I’m going to share a little bit about how I ended up where I am today. And the power of being an example and what that means to me. And then I really want this to be something where you take the information I’m going to share with you today and then you do something with it.

So be sure to listen to the end of this because I’ve got a call to action for you towards the end of this episode. And I want you to actually do something starting today to move in that direction of being an example to those around you. Okay. So be sure to listen to the end.

So here’s how I got to kind of where I am today. So 20 years ago, I was a very, very different person. I was significantly overweight. probably pushing 235 or so, 240. At my heaviest, I was very much out of shape. I couldn’t run at all, if I tried to run, there’s just no way even if I had to save my life, I couldn’t run a lick.

I was constantly sick, I was using alcohol as an emotional management tool, because I had no emotional management tools other than food and alcohol. I mean, that’s how I dealt with everything. I just numbed out everything. I was pretty miserable all the time, never felt good, I had zero energy.

And to be honest with you, I really felt like a disappointment. I felt like I was a disappointment to people around me, to my kids, to my family, to my friends, and especially to myself. And at some point along the way, I made a decision that I was never going to be a disappointment to myself or to anybody else, again, that I wasn’t gonna live my life the way I had been up to this point.

And so I started doing things differently. I quit drinking, that was a tough thing for me to do. But I had to make that choice for myself, that that was a problem for me. And that was something that was getting in the way of who I wanted to be. And it was really causing me to feel terrible all the time.

And, and not allowing me to grow, you know, mentally, emotionally. Or to become the healthiest version of myself, there was no way I could get there if I kept drinking alcohol. Because for me, once I start drinking, I can’t stop and have that same relationship with food, especially sugar, carbohydrates, that once I start eating that stuff, I can’t stop.

And I’m the kind of person who would go and get, you know, massive amounts of food I was an overeater as well. Massive amounts of food, people would look at me like, dude, seriously, you’re eating that much food? It’s like, yeah, lay off me, I’m starving. And I ate and drank in a way that was very unhealthy. Right?

And those two things were really combined especially to create this like very unhealthy version of myself and things were not good in my life. You know, I was going through a divorce. And I made this decision to change all that and I cleaned up my diet and I quit drinking and then one thing I did that helped more than anything else was I started running.

And I ran a 10k. And then I signed up for my first marathon. And I did that. And then I was kind of hooked, I got that running bug. And that was sort of a catalyst for me to start doing things that challenged me that were hard that required me to step up my game from a bunch of different viewpoints.

You know, I had to step up my mental and emotional game, I had to step up my nutrition game, I had to step up my fitness game, if I was going to be like this marathon runner, right? So you know, I cleaned up my diet, started running, I got stronger, I started lifting weights. And I really began working on my mindset. A big part of my transformation was the mindset piece.

And listen, I made a lot of mistakes along the way, I would love to sit here and tell you that everything has been rainbows and unicorns, since I decided to kind of get healthy, but it really hasn’t been. And I don’t know if you guys can relate to this, but I’ve had some starts and stops.

You know, I’ve experienced tons of ups and downs, places in you know, times in the last 10, 12, 15 years where I’ve had lots of successes and lots of failures. I’ve had triumphs, and I’ve had tragedies I’ve experienced, being in the best shape of my life. And then, you know, getting out of shape again, during that period of time, you know, lost a bunch of weight, and then gained most of it back and then I had to lose it again.

I’ve been in the best shape of my life and then other times not so much. I dealt with all kinds of challenges of life. And I’ve dealt with these things with courage and determination and grace at times. And other times I’ve had challenges that I really struggled to deal with. But here’s the thing, honestly, today looking at my life the way it is today, I wouldn’t change a thing about my past, I wouldn’t change any stuff that I went through. Because all that hard stuff I went through all those challenges that I experienced have made me who I am today.

You know, it’s the challenges that really cause us to change and grow and evolve and become more, we don’t grow and evolve and become more by staying in our comfort zone, we have to get out of our comfort zone. And sometimes we are forced out of our comfort zone by things that happen to us, you know, death in the family, or another divorce, these things are very challenging. And they can really throw us off.

Or we can step up and face them with courage and determination and move through them. Because the only way to get through challenging stuff is to move through it can’t go around it. You can’t avoid it, a lot of times you have to go right through it. But those are the things that make us who we are. So all that stuff I’ve experienced in my past, I can look at those things and say, yeah, I’ve grown because of that, I’ve become a different person, I’ve become a better person because of that.

And looking back over my past and over all the stuff that I’ve been through, I can see that throughout all of it, throughout all of it, I was being an example to others. Now, I wasn’t always being a good example. A lot of times I can say with complete honesty, that a lot of times I was being an example of what not to do. Okay. Overdrinking, eating junk food, getting incredibly overweight, losing a bunch of weight, gaining it all back and losing it again, don’t do that. Okay, that was sort of like the message.

I think some people were saying they were like, dude, I don’t want to be like this guy. Right? But at some point along the way, I decided that I didn’t want to be the example of what not to do. That I wanted to be a good example to the people around me. You know, at some point, I decided to be an example of what is possible, a positive example of good health, and happiness.

Now, when I talk about being an example to those around you and making an impact in this world, I’m not talking about, you don’t have to be a celebrity in order to impact the world, you don’t have to have a you don’t have to be a social media influencer with millions of followers, right? I can still make an impact on my world, my sphere of influence. And so can you.

And my sphere of influence is quite small. I have my kids and my family, I have my friends. And I have my social media, friends and social media followers and my listeners you. But here’s the thing, even though my sphere of influence might be small, I can make an impact by helping one person at a time.

And when I help one person to become better to become the best version of themselves, and then people in their world see that they want to follow suit. They have then become an example to their sphere of influence to their world. And you can see how the ripple effect starts to take effect here.

And so my mission, my mission in life is to make a positive impact on this world, to transform as many people as possible, to help them to become healthier, happier humans, I want to help you to become the healthiest and most badass version of yourself. I say this all the time here on the podcast, why?

Because this is my mission. This is why I do what I do. This is my calling. This is what gets me up in the morning. This is why I show up for you here every week on his podcast. This is why I show up for myself too. And in order to fulfill this mission, I have to be an example. I can be an example. And I can help one person at a time. And I know this is a slow process. But that’s okay. I’m not in this to be you know, to be to do it fast.

So I want to help you become the healthiest and most badass version of yourself. And then I want you to be an example of what’s possible to the people in your world to your sphere of influence. And then each of those people become an example to their people in their world and so on and so forth. Right? This is the ripple effect. So we can change the world.

Me and you, we can do it. It just takes being an example, it takes living your life in such a way that the behaviors that you engage in on a daily basis, are in alignment with that best version of yourself. Because when the actions that you take and your behaviors are in alignment with your goals of becoming that badass version of yourself, that’s when the good stuff happens.

Now we all have, like, we all want to be our best selves, right? I mean, I think we do talk to people all the time, we want to become their best selves. But their actions, their behaviors don’t always line up with that. They’re doing things that are really the opposite of that. And that was me, and I get it.

You know, overdrinking for me, was not a behavior that was moving me towards the best version of myself. So I had to cut that out of my life. Eating sugar, for me, is not something that works for me. And it’s something that moves me away from becoming the healthiest version of myself. So I’d cut that out of my life. So what I do today is in alignment with who I want to be.

And so for me, it’s about becoming the best version of myself in every area of my life. And there are four key areas that I coach on in my program. And when you work with me, you’re going to improve in all of these areas. And they are nutrition, strength, endurance, and mindset.

Nutrition. Am I eating real food? Is the food that I’m eating? Does it still look like food? Or is it processed garbage? Is it full of chemicals and sugar and seed oils? Or does it still look like food our ancestors have been eating for thousands of years? Am I fueling my body like an athlete? Or am I just eating like a couch potato?

Am I using food as an emotional management tool? Because I used to do that a lot. You know, am I dealing with my emotions? Do I feel good about my food choices? Am I in control of my food choices? Or does my eating feel out of control? These are ways that I can kind of check myself and say, okay is my nutrition on point?

And then strength. So at 55 years old, I’m in the best shape of my life, I’m the strongest I’ve ever been, you know, I have changed my body composition. Over the last few years, I’ve gained like 20 pounds of muscle. And I’m down to about 12% body fat. And I’m getting stronger all the time. I keep improving this.

I’m actually in this phase right now where I’m trying to gain weight, I’m trying to gain muscle weight. And so I’m eating a little bit more protein, I’m eating more calories in general. And I’m not gaining fat or I’m not gaining body fat, I’m gaining muscle. And at 55, the fact that I can do this, should prove to you that you can do it too. So this is me being an example for you.

Endurance, I’m still running strong. I typically do one to two marathons a year, I have for the last 12 years and I’ve done countless ultra marathons during that time. My body’s holding up. I’m not injured, I don’t get injuries and strength. The fact that I have built so much strength over the last few years helps immensely with all of that.

In my mindset, this is one of the most powerful things that I’ve changed for the better for myself. Because mindset drives everything. So your mindset, this is your thoughts, your feelings, your attitudes, it’s your mental and emotional state at any given time. And a lot of the a lot of the behaviors that are engaged in the damaging behaviors that we engage in, like overeating or overdrinking is because we’re using those things, alcohol or food as an emotional management tool.

We don’t want to deal with our emotions. So instead we eat over them or we drink over them. But learning how to manage emotions without eating junk food or drinking alcohol, or smoking cigarettes or doing you know, heroin or whatever your drug of choice might be. This is one of the most powerful things you can do for yourself. Because armed with the right mindset, there’s really nothing you can’t do.

So between my nutrition, strength, endurance and mindset, these four key areas I have become at this point in my life, I’m the best version of myself I am and I’ve got some goals. You know I’ve got goals I want to improve in all these areas still, and I will and I continue to move in the direction of my goals. I’m always working on myself, and you should be too.

And this isn’t about like ego or vanity, I’m not trying to prove anything to anyone else. I don’t need to prove my worth to anyone outside of myself, I stopped trying to do that years ago. It’s not about comparing myself to anyone else. I only care about comparing who I am today, to who I was yesterday, am I a better version of myself today? Yes or no.

And I’m not trying to impress anyone, either. My goal is to lead by example. And that’s it. Instead of trying to impress people by what I do, I want to inspire them by who I am. So here’s the call to action part. I want you to do something today, to move in the direction of you becoming the best version of yourself.

I want you to do something today to inspire somebody around you, you can make a positive impact on this world, you can help create healthier, happier humans around you. This could be your kids, your family, your friends, your followers, whatever. You can do this, you have that power. And you are takes, it just takes doing something yourself to move in the direction of you becoming the best version of yourself. When you do that, you will show people what is possible, you will be an example of what is possible to the people around you.

So what is one thing you can do today, to be a positive example. Maybe you could make a healthy meal for your family. Simple, right? Maybe you can go for a run. And then post about it, post about how good you feel. You know, I know people are like, geez, we need to see you posting on Facebook about your runs again. But listen, people tell me all the time. They’re like I’m so inspired by you.

And people were telling me this long before I was doing what I’m doing today years and years and years ago, I would post pictures of me running or post about running. And people say I’m so inspired. Just by sharing little vignettes of my day. Here’s what I did today, I got up early and I went for a run, people see that. Maybe you could skip dessert tonight. And instead, take a walk with your kids or your dog. Maybe you grab a friend and you head out to some trails and do some hiking or some trail running.

Maybe tomorrow morning, you get up early and you hit the gym, you lift some heavy weights, you could read a book on personal development, a couple of my favorites would be Atomic Habits by James Clear, or The Obstacle Is The Way by Ryan Holiday.

Maybe you get a good night’s sleep tonight, that could be something very simple to do. But you can be an example to others. When you get a good night’s sleep and you feel more well rested. When you wake up in the morning, maybe you start your day with some meditation, or some journaling. Or take a yoga class.

There are countless ways that you can improve your own personal health and happiness. Whether it’s nutrition, strength, endurance or mindset. But what I want to encourage you to do is to do something, take action now do something today. And then tomorrow, I want you to do something else. Okay. Here’s where I’m going with this. So it doesn’t stop.

This isn’t a one and done. Right? Every day, we show up for ourselves to become the best version of ourselves. And when we do that, when we do that, you we can’t help but to be an example to the people around us. Because people will notice. People will notice what you’re doing.

And listen, I talked to clients all the time who start to feel really good. So we’ve cleaned up their diet, maybe they started lifting weights or something and they feel so good. And they want to tell everybody about what they’re doing. And they and they see friends and family and they’re like, oh, and they might make comments like you should really be doing what I’m doing.

But here’s the thing, nobody likes to be told what to do. I’m just going to tell you right now, even though, you know you feel good and you’re excited about it, you know how you feel and you want to share this with everybody. But nobody wants to be told what to do. Nobody wants to be told what to do.

But people will see what you’re doing. If it works for you, they will see you becoming healthier, maybe losing weight, feeling better, getting stronger, looking amazing. Rockin that bikini in the summer, whatever it is, they’ll see that. And they’ll want that. And they might ask you about it.

You know, for years, my son Colin was overweight, you know. And for years, even though I’m a weight loss coach, I never talked to him about I never told him what to do. I never pushed any kind of agenda on him. At some point, when he was ready to change, he just came to me because he saw what I was doing. He saw how I had lost the weight and kept it off. And he saw how I was helping countless other people to do the same.

And then one day finally came to me and asked if I would be willing to coach him. Of course, I said yes. And of course, it was like a huge, proud dad moment for me. But this is how it works. You see, we lead by example, not by proselytizing. We inspire others by who we are, by how we live our life, not by impressing them by the stuff we do.

We become the healthiest and most badass versions of ourselves. And then those people around us, they will see that they will see that and they will see who we’ve become. And some of them not all, but some of them will want to follow suit. So you have your marching orders. Get busy today doing something, just one thing today, to move toward that best and healthiest and most badass version of yourself. And then tomorrow. Do it again. Cool. All right. That’s all I got for you. I love you all. Keep on Running Lean, and I’ll talk to you soon.

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