134. The Art of Living in Integrity

My name is Patrick McGilvray, and I’m an experienced marathoner, ultra runner, Sports Nutritionist, Master Life Coach, and weight loss coach for runners. I’ve dedicated my life to helping runners just like you properly fuel your body and your mind. So you can get leaner, get stronger, run faster, and run longer than you ever thought possible. This is Running Lean.

Hey there, and welcome to episode 134 of Running Lean. My name is Patrick McGilvray, the weight loss coach for runners and today, the art of living in integrity. So I coach a lot of runners who honestly want to change. They say they’re ready to dial in their nutrition, they’re ready to lose the extra weight and do it permanently. They want to get stronger, they want to run faster, they’re ready to become the healthiest version of themselves.

But oftentimes, there’s this big disconnect between what they want for themselves and what they actually do. And the problem isn’t a lack of desire, because they want it. I know they want it bad for themselves. It’s not an absence of willpower. They’re just not living in integrity. So in this episode of the podcast, I’m going to explore what it means to live in integrity, the art of living in integrity, what it looks like to live in integrity, and how it can absolutely change your life.

I’m also going to share some practical tips to help you get started living a life of integrity. And listen, hitting your goals is all about living a life of integrity. Yes, it takes discipline, it takes consistency, it takes time. But it also requires that you live a life of integrity. And this is one of the reasons why I created the Running Lean coaching project.

This is my immersive coaching program that delivers all the knowledge, the support and the accountability that you need to improve your health to become the healthiest and most badass version of yourself. And to make it last permanently. It’s not about quick fixes. This is about longevity. Okay?

So if you’re ready to lose weight, if you’re ready to get stronger, if you’re ready to run faster, run longer than you’re ready for the Running Lean coaching project. Just go to runningleancoaching.com/apply. To get started, you have to fill out a short application schedule call with me, we’re gonna have a brief conversation, we’ll talk about your goals. And we’ll see if coaching is a good fit for you. It’s not for everybody.

But if this is something that you’re interested in, if you want to live a life of integrity, and you want help hitting your goals, join me in the Running Lean coaching project. All right, let’s get into this topic.

So I coach a lot of people who honestly want to change, they are ready to finally figure out this whole nutrition thing, right, they’re ready to lose the weight permanently, to get leaner to get stronger, maybe to run their fastest marathon, just to get back to being the healthiest version of themselves or to become the healthiest version of themselves.

But oftentimes, there’s this huge disconnect between what they want and what they do. There’s a disconnect between their goals, and their behavior, their behavior, their behaviors are not necessarily in alignment with their goals. So they’re doing things that don’t really help them to move closer to their goals. They’re doing things that actually move them further away from their goals. I don’t know if you can relate to this.

Maybe you’ve tried cleaning up your diet in the past maybe you’ve tried you know sticking to a plan, but you constantly find yourself self-sabotaging. If you find yourself like eating all the cookies or like just going out for pizza or eating ice cream every night. I don’t know, this was me.

Anyway, I don’t know if you can relate to this. But this is what I used to do. And for me, I had this idea in my head that I wanted to lose weight. I was pretty overweight at the time. And I remember thinking man, I need to lose about 40 pounds here. And eating this junk food and eating all the sugar and eating all this ice cream and eating all this pizza is probably not going to get me there. And yet I find myself doing it anyway. Can you relate?

So for me eating the junk food was not in alignment with my goals of losing weight, but I was doing it anyway. And if you have a goal in mind for yourself, whatever that looks like for you whether it’s to lose weight or just become healthier, stronger, to run faster, whatever it is for you.

If your behaviors are not in alignment with that goal, if the things you do on a daily basis aren’t moving you closer to that goal, if they’re moving you further away from that goal, then you are not living in integrity. Oh, there’s all kinds of reasons why you can’t stick to your plan or why you ate the pizza, or why you’re going to eat ice cream. There’s reasons you’ve got stories, you’ve got justifications. You could justify this stuff all day long.

But the thing is, you’re not being in integrity with yourself. And this is one of the main takeaways that I want you to have from this podcast today is being in integrity with yourself. And it doesn’t matter what other people think, or what you’re putting out there for the outside world to see what you’re posting on Instagram. None of that stuff matters. It’s like yes or no, are you in integrity with yourself.

And like I said, at the beginning, this isn’t a problem of willpower. It’s not a, it’s not a problem of desire. It’s not that you don’t want this for yourself. I honestly wanted to lose weight, I honestly knew that what I was doing was not moving me closer to that goal that was actually causing me to probably gain more weight, but I was doing it anyway, I wasn’t in integrity with myself.

And it didn’t matter what I showed the outside world, or what I told people I was doing. And it didn’t matter how much I wanted it for myself. I simply wasn’t in integrity with myself. So what is integrity? I looked up a couple of different definitions. And one definition says: A firm adherence to a code of moral or artistic values, I think that’s kind of interesting that they use the word artistic values. So it’s like incorruptible, that’s kind of cool.

Another definition says: The quality or state of being complete, or undivided. When you are undivided in your actions, when you’re on when your actions are undivided, from your goals, then you are in integrity. So living in integrity means that you are adhering to a code of values of principles. Right?

It means having a strong inner compass, which is just a powerful set of guiding values and principles. And when you have this, when you have this inner compass, you are more likely to stay on track, you’re more likely to be in integrity. Most people don’t do this, though they don’t have any type of inner compass, they never do the work of creating a set of guiding principles for themselves, right.

Another way of saying this, and this is something that I use all the time with my coaching clients is that it’s you know, being in integrity means that you make a plan. And then you stick to the plan no matter what. You make a plan and stick to the plan no matter what. And it’s the “no matter what” part that’s important.

Again, everybody can make a plan. It’s sticking to the plan that’s the important part, because that’s the part that’s actually going to move you closer to your goals. No matter what you want for yourself, you want a better career, you want a better marriage, you want to better, you want better health, you want to be able to run faster, you want running to be easier for you, whatever it is you want for yourself. You’ve got to have a plan for getting there, and then you have to stick to that plan. That’s it. It’s that simple.

Why do we make this so complicated? Why do we have all these reasons and stories and excuses and justifications for why we can’t do it? It’s interesting, isn’t it? But what if you did what if you stuck to your plan? No matter what that is, it’s hard to do that. This is why I have a coaching practice because I help people stick to their plan. Because so many things get in the way. And I get that I totally get that.

But I want you to think about this. I want you to think about what it would look like for you to be in integrity with yourself because that’s what this is all about. It’s about having your own back. And what I mean by that is like you say you’re going to do something and then you do that thing. If you do what you say you’re going to do, you make a plan, and then you stick to the plan.

And I coach people on how to do this, I even tell them, Okay, listen, if you want to make an exception to your plan, that’s totally fine. But like, make that part of your plan. You know, let’s say you’re going out with friends on Saturday night, and you want to have a glass of wine, totally fine, have a glass of wine, make that part of your plan.

You say to yourself, oh, I’m not going to drink this weekend. But then you go out and you have a few glasses of wine. And then you feel bad about yourself, you’re not being in integrity with yourself, you don’t have your own back. But if you decide, oh, we’re going out friends, I’m going to have a glass of wine, I’m gonna enjoy myself. Maybe I’ll even split a dessert with my husband.

And then you go out and you do that, you go out and you enjoy dinner, you have a glass of wine, you split dessert. That’s being in integrity with yourself, it doesn’t mean you never have a dessert again in your life doesn’t mean you never drink alcohol, again, what it means is that you have a plan and then you stick to your plan. That’s it. It means that if your friends are getting married, and you’re going to their wedding, and you decide you know what, ahead of time you decide, I’m going to have a piece of cake at this wedding. Because I mean, come on, it’s wedding cake. It’s amazing, right? Then you have a piece of cake at the wedding and you enjoy it, it’s part of your plan.

That’s what it means to live in integrity. What, what integrity does not look like is you go to the wedding, and you’re like, I’m not eating any cake. Because you know, I’m trying to stick to my plan here. And then you eat like six pieces of cake. Because it’s like, wedding cake. And it’s amazing. And it’s free. And you can’t let it go to waste, right? So you got to eat it all up.

That’s what I used to do. I would go back for seconds and thirds when it came to stuff like wedding cake, because it’s just sitting out there. What are they going to do with that? Right? They’re just gonna throw it away, give it to the staff or something, I don’t know. But we got to eat that stuff, right? That was just me.

So that’s not being an integrity, when you’re, when you’re doing things that go against what you want for yourself, or when you’re doing things that go against your plan. So make a plan and stick to your plan. If you want to have a piece of cake, put it on your plan. It’s no big deal. Right.

And listen, this is not something you do once, and you’re done. Living in integrity is like it’s an ongoing practice. It’s something that you have to do every day. It’s not like, you know, you, you decide you’re going to lose weight, and you change your diet and you do it for a couple of weeks. And then you kind of start doing other things, you start slipping back into old behaviors.

This isn’t about going out and running faster you want to you know, you want to PR a marathon, you don’t go out and do speed work once. Living in integrity means that you practice this on a daily basis. And I say practice because you’re not going to do it perfectly. Nobody does. Right. And being in integrity and living a life of integrity is not some, you know, level of enlightenment that you’re gonna get like, this is just something you do.

As part of your daily living, it’s part of your life, it’s part of who you are. It’s part of what you do. Like, like I say, all the time being healthy. It’s not a destination we’re trying to get to. It’s how you live your life. Living in integrity is how you live your life. It’s who you are and what you do. And you’re already doing this, I guarantee you that you are in integrity in some areas of your life.

Think about this, think about your relationship, maybe you’re married, maybe you have a significant other. Maybe it’s your relationship with your kids, whatever it is, I’m pretty sure that you are living in integrity in that area of your life. What about work, you know, you say you’re gonna show up on time for work and you do. You gotta get your work done by a certain day at a certain time or you know, your boss is gonna yell at you or whatever.

So you’re in integrity with that. Maybe it’s your workout schedule. Maybe you’re in integrity with how you, you know, schedule your runs, and then you go and you do those runs no matter what. These are all places in your life right now. Where you are, being in integrity. You’re already doing it.

But I’m going to challenge you to look at all other areas of your life. And I want to ask, I want you to ask yourself, honestly, are you in integrity in all areas of your life? You know, you’re practicing being in integrity right now in some places, but what about others? Think about that? Is there a place in your life right now where you could be more in integrity?

And can you take the way you approach your relationship, for example, that being in integrity, no matter what attitude that you have about your relationship? Can you kind of copy and paste that integrity into this other area of your life? Maybe it’s, it’s your diet?

How cool would it be if you just did that? What if you lived your life and integrity in all areas of your life? What would that look like for you? What do you think you could accomplish? That you don’t have right now. And I say that this is an art form. Because being in integrity, living a life of integrity, there’s an art to it.

There’s an art to living in integrity, because it’s different for everyone. It’s personal to you. It’s unique to how you live your life and the things that you want for yourself. And you know, what, only you know, when you’re doing it. Nobody else knows you can fool with the outside world, but you can never fool yourself, you know, when you’re in integrity, and when you’re not.

It’s an art because when you do it right, it’s a beautiful thing. It’s a beautiful way to live your life. It’s a beautiful way to accomplish anything that you want for yourself. So you’re doing this in some areas of your life, you’re not doing this in some other areas of your life. Why not?

And what would it look like if you were to just take this idea of living a life of integrity across all areas of your life. And one of the ways you can start doing this is to create that set of guiding principles. So I call this a strong inner compass that’s guiding you. It’s like your North Star.

So the first step would be to create a set of values and principles to help guide you in the direction of your goals. And this is going to look different for everyone. But you’ve got to hold yourself to the principles that you create for yourself. That’s what it means to be in integrity. Like I said before, you can create these values and these principles for yourself. And that’s great. It’s like it’s great to have a set of guiding values and principles.

But if you’re not holding yourself to those, then what good is it? What good is it? I wouldn’t even encourage you to write them down, put them on a piece of paper, put them on some post it notes, stick them on your bathroom mirror, put them on a note on your phone, so that you can look at it all the time.

You need to see these things and be reminded of why you’re doing the things you’re doing. What are the principles that are guiding you? What are the principles and values that you find important for yourself, and then stick to those guiding principles. Allow them to guide you. Okay? Remember, this is about making a plan. And then sticking to the plan. And the sticking to the plan is the important part. And the sticking to the plan no matter what is the really important part.

Because anybody can have a plan. But very few people are that disciplined and that and have that much integrity to stick with their plan, no matter what happens around them. But this is what’s going to be the game changer for you. This is what’s going to get you to your goals. And if you find yourself living in integrity in some areas of your life, but not others, I want you to ask yourself, why? Get curious about that.

Why aren’t you living in integrity in all areas of your life right now? And where’s that one area that really needs some work? You know, maybe it’s your diet, maybe it’s one of those things where you’re just like, I just can’t seem to stick to this diet. Why is that? Get curious about that. Is it because it’s hard? Is it because you feel like you’re missing out on something good?

Because I’m going to tell you right now, most of the time, it’s just your brain telling you that it’s uncomfortable and you’d rather be doing something that feels good. Because this is the way our brains are designed, it’s the way our brains have evolved. We are always trying to seek pleasure and avoid pain. And sticking to a food plan that does not include pizza and cookies and ice cream can seem uncomfortable. It can seem, you know, like, oh, we’re not, we’re not enjoying ourselves.

Everybody else is eating all this amazing food. And we’re eating, you know, salmon and broccoli over here or whatever, which I find amazingly delicious, by the way. But ask yourself why do you think? Why do you think you find it hard to live in integrity? Why do you think that is? Get curious with yourself.

Oftentimes, you’re going to find that it’s just your brain doing what it likes to do, which is to keep you comfortable, and seek pleasure and avoid pain. But what if you just embraced some of that discomfort. And when I say embrace discomfort, it doesn’t mean like you’re gonna live your life in discomfort forever.

This is just like, certain moments, we’re talking about here, certain moments when you want to go back for that second or third piece of wedding cake, and instead not doing it. And that’s uncomfortable, because you want it and you’re like, well, I really want that thing. I have this strong desire to eat some more cake right now. And you’re not going to do that.

So if that desire is still gonna be there, but you’re not going to satisfy that desire. That’s what feels uncomfortable, right? But what if you just embrace that? What if you’re just like, you know what, for me, being integrity means that I’m not going to go back for that second piece of cake.

And we make it into some big thing like, oh, it’s like, oh, it’s like a big thing. And it stresses us out. But it’s just cake. All right. Let’s get over that. Let’s get over the feelings around it. And let’s get over the emotional part of it. And let’s just embrace the fact that what we’re doing here, this is not going to be moving us towards our goals. This is not in alignment with who we want to be. This is not living a life of integrity.

So look at different areas of your life. I want you to do that this week. And then consider whether or not you’re actually living a life of integrity in every area of your life. And if you’re not, get curious, ask yourself why? Because imagine what you could accomplish. If you practice the art of living in integrity in every area of your life every single day. What could you accomplish? Who could you be in three months and six months in a year? If you did that? I bet it’d be pretty amazing for you. We talked about becoming the healthiest and most badass version of yourself. This is what’s gonna get you there. Alright, that’s all I got for you today. Love you all. Keep on Running Lean. Talk to you soon.

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