146. Slow Down and Stay in the Flow

My name is Patrick McGilvray, and I’m an experienced marathoner, ultra runner, Sports Nutritionist, Master Life Coach, and weight loss coach for runners. I’ve dedicated my life to helping runners just like you properly fuel your body and your mind. So you can get leaner, get stronger, run faster, and run longer than you ever thought possible. This is Running Lean.

Hey there, and welcome to episode 146 of Running Lean. My name is Patrick McGilvray, the weight loss coach for runners, and today: slow down and stay in the flow. Many runners I talked to who set out to achieve big goals will get this idea into their heads that for some reason, things should just be happening faster, they should be losing weight faster, they’re running should be improving more quickly.

And those strength sessions at the gym should be paying off by now. And the reality of the situation is this, these things take time, it takes time to lose weight, it takes time to become a stronger, faster runner. And when you think everything should be happening faster, all of this becomes very frustrating.

So in this episode, I’m going to talk about what happens when you believe everything should be happening faster. And then what it looks like when you just slow down and stay in the flow instead. And one of the most important things I do with my coaching clients is this: I help them stay on track. Together, we set big goals, we’ll put together a plan to help you achieve those goals, and then help you stick to the plan. It’s that simple.

But I know how difficult and how frustrating it can be to set out to make big changes, especially when it comes to your health and fitness. And then getting to this place where you think everything should be going faster. Listen, these things take time. But imagine how much easier it would be if you had somebody there to guide you through the whole process every step of the way, to be there to offer expertise, support, encouragement, motivation, and to hold you accountable.

Becoming the most badass version of yourself, this is an amazing thing to accomplish. And having a coach there to help you get there. This is a game changer. So if you’re looking for guidance, support, encouragement, motivation, accountability, I want to encourage you to apply to join my coaching program, the Running Lean coaching project.

To learn more, just go to runningleancoaching.com/apply. You have to fill out a short application, we’re gonna have a conversation, then we’ll see if this is a good fit for you. I would love to have you in my program. This is a very unique weight loss coaching program for runners. It’s the Running Lean coaching project where the project is you.

Alright, let’s get into this topic, slow down and stay in the flow. The reason I’m talking about this today, like I mentioned at the top of the episode here is that so many people I talked to set out to achieve big goals, they really want to become the healthiest version of themselves, they really want to improve their body composition, they want to get stronger, they want to become a faster runner, they want to PR their marathon or half marathon, they want to lose weight.

And when they set out to achieve these things, they get this concept in their mind that it’s all going to happen according to some arbitrary timeline. Okay, it could be like, oh, I’ve got this goal race coming up in three months. And so I’m going to change my diet, I’m gonna, like start running a little bit faster. And, and somehow I’m going to like, you know, PR this thing and lose 30 pounds in the process.

And while that might happen, for some people, it’s your there’s no guarantee, right? I mean, these things take time, it takes time to change habits, it takes time to lose weight, it takes time to get faster as a runner. And if you’re somebody whose thinking that this is going to be all all said and done in a matter of you know, 90 days exactly, or whatever; you may be frustrated, you may be disappointed with the results in that amount of time. So many of us get it into our heads that you know everything should be happening faster.

And when we get to this place of thinking everything should be happening faster. It’s not happening fast enough. It gets very very frustrating. So some examples of where I see this happening the most first of all is in weight loss. When people want to lose weight. They change their diet, they start making maybe some sacrifices, you know, they start giving up some of the foods they used to love to eat, you know, junk food, let’s just say and they stick with it.

And the weight loss isn’t happening fast enough, they may only be losing a pound or two a week. And over months of working together, I hear this from people a lot who have consistently lost one or two pounds a week, and then will tell me, ah, it’s just, you know, everything’s fine, I guess. But it’s just not happening fast enough, right?

And becoming a faster runner is another place where people want this to happen faster, surprisingly enough, right? So you might set out to like PR, your half marathon or marathon time. And so you start changing your running routine, you start adding more speed work, and you’re really intentionally focused on becoming that faster runner.

And then you have a race coming up and you and you do everything you’re supposed to do and you’re, you’re ready to go and you’re feeling great. And then you get out there and you just don’t hit your goal on that race day. And it gets really frustrating, right, or maybe you’re trying to build some strength and build some muscle. So you’re at the gym, and you’re hitting the weights pretty hard.

And it’s just, it seems like it’s taking forever, you don’t see those muscles bulging out of your arms, like you think you should after, you know, a period of time. You know, another way that I see people getting frustrated is when they want to improve their endurance, they want to be able to run longer distances, but they just keep running out of gas.

And they’re like, what’s going on? Shouldn’t this be happening faster? I mean, just I, you know, I can run a 5k I can run a 10k How come I can’t do a half marathon or a marathon? How come I’m running out of gas at mile 10 or 12 or 19?

Or, you know, overcoming food cravings. This is an area where I’m just going to tell you right now, this is not something that happens quickly. It may take some time to get past the place where you’re really craving junk food, you know, if you’ve, if you’ve been somebody who’s been really eating a lot of junk food, then it may take a long time for you to like get over those cravings, you know, in thinking that it’s going to happen quickly. Oh, yeah. Well, I quit eating junk food two weeks ago, how come I’m still craving pizza? It’s gonna take a while. Right?

Or even this concept of just not sticking to the plan, like I just keep slipping up. How come I’m not sticking to the plan 100% of the time? By now I’ve been doing this for a while. How can I keep you know, reverting back to old behaviors? Shouldn’t this be happening faster? So all of these things are processes that take time.

And the idea that from the very get go, you should be perfect, and everything should be moving along quickly. It’s just a myth, it’s never going to happen that way. All of these processes are things that take time. And when you have this concept that you think it should be happening faster, it creates a real negative state within you.

Okay, because when you think things should be going faster, and they’re not, it can be very frustrating. It can cause you to feel frustration, it can cause you to feel stressed, you can feel disappointed and discouraged. These are all negative emotions. And when you’re feeling these negative emotions around what you’re doing to try to change yourself for the better to try to improve your health and fitness.

When all of your energy is put into this negative emotional state it puts you into a state of mentally and emotionally being really negative. So you’re in this negative emotional and mental state. And when you’re feeling this way, how do you think you’re going to act? Because your feelings really drive your behaviors, your feelings drive your actions, the mental and emotional state that you’re in will determine what you do.

So what behaviors do you think you engage in when you’re feeling constantly when you’re in this negative emotional state? Well, if you’re feeling discouraged and frustrated that weight loss is taking too long, then you’re probably not going to stick with a plan because you’re probably thinking like, why should I stick to this plan? It’s not working anyway, it’s taking too long anyway.

And you might feel disappointed because you know, running isn’t improving as fast as you want it to and that will make you feel very disappointed. Very disappointing and discouraging to you, right? You’re not getting faster quickly enough? Well, if you’re in that state, you’re probably not going to keep doing the speed work, right? Because why bother? Why should I stick to my speed work if it’s not working anyway?

So the thought, the thoughts and feelings that you put into this, the thoughts and feelings that you’re experiencing that, oh, it’s taking too long. It’s frustrating, and I’m disappointed, I’m discouraged. It’s going to take forever, I’m never gonna get there. When you’re in that place, that will absolutely become true for you. You will prove those thoughts and feelings to be true when you act from that negative state, that negative state that you’re in will create that reality for you, you will get those results, it will take too long, it will take forever, because you won’t be sticking to the plan.

You’ll never get there because you won’t stay on track. You’re constantly thinking, Oh, why bother? Why should I do this, it’s not working anyway. And this is a really crappy place to be just so you know. But I see so many people wallowing in this negative emotional state. Your thoughts and feelings, create your results, your thoughts and feelings create your reality, you get more of what you focus your attention on. Right? So constantly thinking, this isn’t working.

It won’t work for you, I promise you, if you’re constantly thinking, I’m never gonna get there. And guess what? You’re never gonna get there. And if you’re thinking to yourself, Patrick, this sounds too simple. I agree that it does sound too simple, but it is absolutely true. And a very powerful concept that I want you to try to wrap your head around here, okay?

Because when you’re operating from this very powerful, but negative place, you get to create results and your reality. And you get to achieve what you want for yourself. Or what you, in this case, what you don’t want for yourself, you get to achieve what you’re what you’re focused on achieving, which is it’s not working, it’s taking too long, it’s gonna take forever, I’m never gonna get there. That’s a very powerful yet negative place to be, it’s a powerfully negative place to be okay.

So you have to understand this, it is a simple concept, that your emotional state, your thoughts and feelings, create your results. Because it drives your actions, your thoughts and feelings drive your actions and your actions create your results. So instead of you know, constantly thinking that these things should be happening faster, we have to let go of that.

Okay, because here, here’s some simple facts. Losing weight takes time, it takes time to change your eating habits. It takes time to figure out what actually works best for you as an individual. Because we’re all different. We all have different goals, different weight loss goals, different metabolism, different lifestyles, different food preferences, and you have to figure out what works best for you, what’s going to support your weight loss goals and your running goals. And figuring all this out, it takes a little bit of time to really dial it in.

And it’s okay, let’s just be okay with that fact. Right, losing weight will take some time, it takes time to you know, get your blood sugar regulated to fix your metabolism. It takes time to you know, get your body working the way it’s supposed to to get your hormones working the way they’re supposed to. But once you get into that place, things start to change for you.

You know, your blood sugar’s regulated, your hormonal changes become more balanced, your hormone hormonal response to food becomes more, more balanced and your your body actually starts to function the way it was made to function, you start burning more fat instead of burning all the sugar. And eventually you’ll see the weight loss start to happen.

But there’s a lot of things that have to kind of happen in the interim before you actually see the number on the scale start to change, right. So just understand that it takes time to lose weight. And if you have a lot of weight to lose, it’s going to take more time. And it’s okay.

Building muscle takes time. It takes time to go to the gym, improve your your weightlifting capabilities to increase the resistance that you’re lifting. You know, we in order to gain muscle and build strength, we have to overload the muscles so that means we have to lift heavier weights and it takes time to get to the place where, you know, you can get stronger and you can actually lift heavier weights.

And it may take time before you can see any improvement at all before you can start to increase the weights or the reps or whatever. There’s a period at the beginning, if you’ve never done any kind of strength training, any kind of resistance training, there’s a time at the beginning where you just gotta get used to the, to the workouts, you got to get used to the routines, you got to be doing things in a safe way, getting your body like used to lifting weights.

But eventually, you’ll start to see some progress happen, okay, but it takes time. Improving your endurance takes time, improving your speed as a runner takes time, it takes time to build the muscle memory of doing harder, faster workouts to improve your running form. You know, you’ll make incremental improvements to your endurance. But these things do take some time.

Do you remember when you first started out as a runner, you couldn’t imagine running a 5k, running three miles without stopping. And you might be running half marathons now and wanting to get faster, or running to take it up to the next level, run a marathon and you’re like, why is it taking so long to build that endurance and think back to when you first started running and how long it took you to make those improvements.

I remember training for my first 10k, I set out to run a 10k. And you know where I could, I could only run like one mile at a time, you know, I could run one mile without stopping. And that felt pretty amazing, you know, and then I could run two and then three. And I couldn’t imagine doing a whole 10k like 6.2 miles without stopping. Like, that’s crazy. Who does this, you know?

But eventually I got there, but it took months of training to get there. Okay, so all these things take time, stop thinking it’s all going to happen quickly or according to some arbitrary timeline that you’ve created, in your own mind. Start accepting the fact that these things will take time, time takes time. And slow down, slow down.

And instead, I want you to focus on staying in the flow. Like, what if you just took your time, instead of trying to rush your way to your weight loss goal or to some running goal or to some strength goal? What if you just slow down? What would that look like for you? What if you made changes slowly over time?

Because we’re talking about changing habits around food, changing habits around how you train. How you fuel for training and races? And, it takes time to dial this in for you as an individual. Right? So understand this and accept that it’s going to take time. Okay. How long did it take you to gain the weight in the first place? Maybe you’ve gained 30, 40, 50 pounds? Would it take two years? Three years? 10 years? 20 years? Why do you think it should all come off in like 90 days?

It might take longer than that. So what? So what. It doesn’t matter how long it takes, stop trying to fast track everything. And instead, just focus on what you’re doing today. And you will get there. Staying in the flow means just being here. Right now, what are you doing today? What are you doing in this moment to better your health?

Are you making your food plan for the next 24 hours, or you’re filling in your training schedule for the week, maybe you’re lacing up your shoes, because you’re ready to head out for a run. Maybe you’re just you know, sitting down to dinner and you’re actually eating what you said you’d eat today. That’s what it means to be in the flow.

It means you’re not thinking about how long it’s going to take. Because that really doesn’t matter. It might take six months or a year or more. Whatever, it doesn’t matter. It’s all okay. Think about this, where would you be a year from now, if you stuck to your plan every day for a year, think about that. A year from now you could be like 95% of the way to your goal or 100% there.

Or you could be totally frustrated and pissed off a year from now because you kept thinking it was taking too long. And you kept stopping and starting and stopping and starting you kept giving up. Maybe you’d recommit. Maybe you’d quit and you’d start again, then you quit again. Maybe you just quit altogether. Staying in the flow means you commit to the process. You commit to the process of change. What things do you need to change to get to your goals?

Stop eating junk food, start lifting weights regularly, maybe doing more speed work? What is the process of change, what does that look like for you and commit to that? Because that’s what you need to focus on. That’s where your attention needs to be. Staying in the flow means staying focused on the process of change and not getting frustrated because it’s taking too long to see your results right?

Hey, when you stop thinking that this is all supposed to be different, somehow faster, whatever. And when you just slow down and you stay in the flow, and you stay committed right now to this process, your whole mindset shifts, you become calmer about everything, you become more at peace with where you are, you feel more encouraged, you feel more confident, and that confidence builds you feel more motivated to stay on track.

You stay more disciplined. When you’re feeling this way, when you’re in this mental and emotional state, you become unstoppable. When you’re operating from this emotional state, what do you think becomes your new reality? What do you think becomes true for you? What do you think are the results that you’re gonna get?

When you’re coming from this place of like, I will get there eventually. And I’m just right where I’m supposed to be, and I’m just gonna stay committed, you will get there, eventually, you will stay committed, you will get the results you want for yourself, you will achieve the goals that you want for yourself.

So what I want you to do this week, I want you to ask yourself, where you might be trying to fast track things, right? Where might you be wishing that things should be faster, quicker, and then notice how thinking that way makes you feel? Because chances are, it’s going to put you in a negative feeling, a negative emotional state, you’re not gonna feel good, you’re gonna feel frustrated, discouraged. You’re gonna feel stressed out. And then ask yourself, how can I let go of these ideas? How can I let go of this arbitrary timeline that I’ve created for myself? How can I just sit here? Slow down? How can I stay in the flow right here now?

How can you focus on the process of change here in this moment, and this isn’t just about like feeling good, or getting out of that negative state. It’s about creating everything that you want for yourself. It’s how you get there. If you want to become the most badass version of yourself, just commit to the process of change, and you’ll get there. Slow down, stay in the flow, and I promise you, you will absolutely get there eventually.

And as always, if you want some help with any of this, or all of this, apply for coaching you and I can work together, we’ll put together a plan for you. I’ll help you stay committed to that process. I’ll help you stay in the flow and together we’ll get you there. Cool. Alright, that’s all I got for you today. Love you all. Keep on Running Lean, and I’ll talk to you soon.

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