78. The Problem with Streaks

My name is Patrick McGilvray, and I’m an experienced marathoner, ultra runner, Sports Nutritionist, Master Life Coach, and weight loss coach for runners. I’ve dedicated my life to helping runners just like you properly fuel your body and your mind. So you can get leaner, get stronger, run faster, and run longer than you ever thought possible. This is Running Lean.

Hey there and welcome to Episode 78, of Running Lean. My name is Patrick McGilvray, the weight loss coach for runners. And today I’m talking about the problem with streaks. So when it comes to habit change, changing any kind of bad habit if you want to create new habits.

There’s this idea out there that if you just do something every day for a period of time, like 30 days, 60 days, 90 days, whatever it is, then you will automatically develop a new habit. And I just have to say that this is wrong. Okay, it just doesn’t work this way, there’s a lot more going on under the covers, there’s a lot more to habit to change than just like doing a certain behavior every single day.

How many times have you ever had a streak going like maybe you’ve given up sugar, or you’ve quit drinking for weeks or months straight, and then one day something happens, and just like that the streak is over. And then you’re right back to your old ways as if nothing has ever happened, right? This is very, very common, it happens all the time.

In order to create new habits, we have to make changes at a deeper level. Right? This very surface-level thing of just changing a behavior is not enough to make new habits and to create deeper, meaningful changes. Okay, so today here, I’m going to be talking about the problem with streaks.

And what you might want to focus on instead, if you really want to make lasting, meaningful changes in your habits. Okay, but first, if you like this podcast, you have to come check out the Running Lean podcast community on Facebook.

This is a group that goes hand in hand with the podcast, we extend the conversation over there in the group, we have a two-way conversation that gives you a voice gives you a place to ask questions and get feedback. And I’ve got a new challenge coming up. I haven’t done a challenge for a little while.

And I’ve been thinking a lot about this. And a lot of people have been coming to me talking about this subject. And so we’re going to be tackling this in July. And this is the challenge where I’m calling it dry July. Starting July 1, we’re going to give you an opportunity to take a break from alcohol, like maybe you just wanted like to see what it feels like to not drink for the month of July. And see if you feel better.

And I want to be very clear, this is not about like a streak is not about like putting in the number of days together or anything like that. This is about a group of people who all want to, you know, see if they feel healthier, and see if they feel better without drinking alcohol. Alcohol is not bad, I want to make sure you guys understand this. I’m not anti-alcohol.

But if you’re trying to lose weight, or if you’re trying to, you know, hit some sort of running goal or some sort of health goal, alcohol can be detrimental to weight loss, it can be detrimental to your running performance. And so we’re just going to talk about that. We’re going to talk about alcohol you know why you might want to limit or moderate your alcohol intake. And if you’ve ever tried to do this on your own, it’s been hard, come and join us and we’ll do it together.

Okay, we’re going to support each other, encourage each other, I’m going to do some kind of training in coaching in the Facebook group in the month of July. I’ll be talking about this subject here on the podcast too. So it’ll be a lot of fun.

This is not for people who are, you know, addicts or alcoholics like you need to seek some professional help with that kind of stuff. This is just for people who, you know, maybe want to like limit their drinking or just you know, maybe they drink a little too much and they want to like see what it would feel like to, to moderate or to quit for a little bit. Okay, so just go to Facebook, search for Running Lean community and come join us. It’s gonna be fun. I promise it’s gonna be fun.

And here’s another five-star review of the Running Lean podcast. This is from S4Waltz. And S4Waltz says, “Thanks for all you do. Hi, Patrick. I just finished listening to your interview with Leticia. I started listening and found your podcast during the pandemic and her story was amazing. I quit sugar after hearing your story and I guess, I guess you can teach an old dog new tricks. I actually started running in the late 1970s with my dad. I’m 63 now and hearing encouragement is needed no matter how long you’ve been running. The good thing about getting older is how many times I’m the only person in my age group. So I always place in my age group.”

That’s awesome. And then this person goes on to say, “Here’s a fun story, my first 10k, I wore cut-off blue jean shorts, because I didn’t know what people wore for running. Keep up the great work. And thanks for all you do.” Thank you S4Waltz, for that awesome five-star review.

And just so you know, I had this recurring nightmare where I show up at a marathon. And I’m, I have nothing on but jeans, I mean, I’m wearing like a shirt or whatever. But I don’t have running shorts, I’m wearing jeans that I have to, you know, toe the line at the start of a marathon wearing jeans. And so that’s kind of a nightmare of mine.

And listen, if you want to share the love, I would really appreciate it just go to wherever you listen to your podcast, scroll down to where it says leave a review, tap the stars and write a few words of a little love that you got for the podcast, I’d really appreciate that. I love hearing that you guys are getting something out of this.

And then hey, if you ever want a little bit of help losing weight, becoming a fat-adapted runner, or learning how to change habits, for good, for real, I got you covered. I work with runners every single day as a one-on-one coach, and a coach can do a lot of things for you, a coach can help encourage you to do things that you don’t want to do.

A coach can hold you accountable. A coach can help you navigate all the confusing information that’s out there about running nutrition, weight loss, all that stuff. And a coach can be your guide and your support and that expert to help keep you moving in the direction of your goals.

My goal as a coach is always to help you become the person that you want to become. So we talked about that, who is it that you want to become? How can I help you get there? And you know, I do a lot with helping people see how their mind works and helping people change bad habits and eliminate bad habits and create new healthy habits.

So that, you know, feeling good, being healthy can just become a part of who you are. And what you do, it just becomes the new you. So that’s the goal of coaching. And that’s kind of how it works. So if you want to learn more, or you want to apply for coaching, just go to runningleanpodcast.com/apply.

And then you and I will jump on a Zoom call and we’ll have a conversation, we’ll just see if it’s a good fit. It’s not for everybody. And that’s fine. But if you want to just see what it’s all about, it can’t hurt to have a conversation that doesn’t cost you anything except maybe about 30 minutes of your time. Cool. All right. All right.

So let’s get into this topic of streaks, okay, and the problem with streaks. So first of all, I want to make sure we’re all on the same page about what we’re talking about here. We’re not talking about the kind of streaks where you run naked in public to amuse or shock others, that is actually one definition of a streak. We’re not talking about running through the quad, streaking through the quad. You know that is not what we’re talking about here.

We’re talking about a continuous period of specified success. This is what the definition of a streak is the way we’re sort of framing it in this conversation today. Okay. And listen, I gotta say this upfront, and I’ll talk more about this later. But I’m not opposed to streaks, I don’t think they’re bad. Okay. But I think we have a misconception about what a streak is going to do for us. And that’s what I want to address today. Okay.

So if you’re a runner, and you’re on some sort of running streak, and you’ve been running every day for months, or years, or whatever it is, like more power to you keep doing that. I did that for a while I’ve done that several times. I’ve done a month-long streak, I think I did up to like 80 some days of running every day until I just forgot one day.

And then I woke up the next day. I’m like, well, that’s over. And I’ll talk a little bit about that too, and about how that makes us feel because sometimes that’s the problem with streaks. That’s one of the problems is that we beat ourselves up about it. Okay.

But the biggest problem I see. And the biggest problem I want to address is this: is that we think that a streak of doing something every single day is going to somehow automatically change you. Like if you have a bad habit, all you have to do is just, you know, not do it every single day and then eventually you’re cured. Or, you know, if you’re you know, somebody that you know, maybe he drinks too much, or maybe eats a lot of sugar. And you’re like, you know what, I just got to stop doing this for 30 days, and then I’ll be fixed, you know, you think that it will automatically change you.

And I have to say that this is just not true. It’s just not true. We’ve all done this before, we’ve gone on a diet for months sometimes, and then just gone right back to doing what we did before. There are people who, you know, they check themselves into rehab, because they, maybe they drink too much, maybe they, you know, have this problem with drinking or drugs or something like that.

And this is so common, they go into rehab for like, 30 days, and they just come out, and they just go right back to drinking, or people who go to prison, people get locked up in jail for years, and then they come out and they just start drinking again or doing the drugs or whatever it is that got them locked up in the first place.

And you would think just being away from this for a period of time would be enough, but it’s not. Because you’re not, you’re not addressing the underlying issue here, okay. You know, if somebody like stops eating sugar, like, let’s say, you stop eating sugar, and we’ve done this before, in that Facebook group, we’ve done like a no sugar challenge, okay?

If you stop eating sugar for a month, and then all of a sudden, one day, you know, oh, it was so and so’s birthday at work. And so they had cake, and I just ate a cake. You know, I had this bad day at the office, and I came home and I just had ice cream for dinner, you know, this happens all the time.

This is very, very common, just not eating sugar for 30 days doesn’t automatically mean like you’re cured, or you’re never going to go back to it again. Okay, we’re not addressing the underlying issues. And the real problem isn’t that you’re not doing enough of it, or you haven’t put the right number of days in a row together. Like that’s not what the problem is.

The real problem that’s not being addressed is you haven’t changed your thinking. You have to change your thinking if you want to change a habit. So I’ve talked about this before here on the podcast, and that is this idea that our thoughts cause our feelings and our feelings drive our actions. You know this is the think, feel, act cycle.

And when we understand that it’s not about what we’re doing, that’s causing us to think a certain way, it’s the other way around, the way we are thinking is driving our actions ultimately. And so if we want to change behavior, you know, create a new habit, a new healthier habit, something that’s going to last, we have to change how we’re thinking and feeling about it, in order to change the actions.

And the actions are important too. Like you have to you know, like, if you want to quit smoking, you have to not smoke, right? That’s part of the deal, right? You have to do that as well. But you have to focus on the thinking and feeling part, if you don’t focus on that, something’s going to happen. And you’re just going to pop right back into that old habit again. Okay.

So our thinking is really the key, and just changing some habit or doing something every day doesn’t change our thinking about it. Right? Otherwise, you know, this would be so much easier for us, right? Just don’t eat sugar for 30 days and you’re cured, you’ll never want it again, it’s not true.

Because if you’re in the habit of, you know, eating sugar all the time, because it makes you feel good. You know, it’s solving a problem for you, it’s solving an emotional issue that you’re having, it’s numbing you out to your emotions, so you don’t have to feel them.

I guarantee you can put, you know, six months straight together, and it’s not going to change how you think and feel about it. Because you haven’t addressed that part of it. Okay. So that’s like, my number one issue with streaks is that they don’t really address the cause of the habit in the first place.

Listen, our brains are malleable. Our brains are amazing and powerful. And we have all these habits that we’ve created over the years and decades of our lives. Like, you know, drinking is a good example. Just because, you know, every let’s say you drink every day, you’re this kind of person after work, you just come home, you have a glass of wine. It’s how you unwind, right?

It’s how you, you know, just relax, you know, but you’ve been creating this habit of every time I come home from work and I want to unwind, I want to like kind of numb out a little bit because maybe I’ve had a stressful day I’m feeling a little bit of stress or a little anxiety. Little anger or something like that inside, and I drink the wine. And it kind of numbs me to that.

And so you’ve just gotten this habit of, you know, feeling an emotion and then numbing it out with a little bit of alcohol. Right? Very common, it’s not a big deal, okay, but if that’s something you want to change, if that’s no longer working for you, and you want to change that, you’re going to come home from work, and you’re going to not have the alcohol but you’re going to feel terrible, you’re going to be like, I don’t, this doesn’t feel right.

Because you haven’t retrained your brain with a new, you know, thought feeling action pattern, the pattern, you’re, you’re interrupting the pattern by not, you know, rewarding that emotion that you’re feeling by not numbing to that emotion that you’re feeling.

But you haven’t changed the behavior at all. You’re just changing, you’re just like not giving your brain what it wants, you’re not, you’re not squashing down those emotions, okay? So we have to change things at a deeper level, okay. thinking, feeling, and acting, are the things we have control over in our lives.

And so these are the things that drive us. These are the things that create habits. Our brains, our habits are, are ingrained in our brain, they’re like, we have these neural pathways that are well developed and well-worn pathways. They’re very, you know, they’re like, fast like you, you think, feel and act so quickly, like, I’m just all of a sudden feeling a little stressed out, boom, the wine is already in my hand, and I’m drinking it. That’s how habits work.

Okay, so we have to change at a deeper level. But we can, like I said, our brains are malleable, we can actually change the pattern. And over time, you can change that thought, feeling action pattern, and create new neural pathways.

But it requires change at all three places, you cannot just change the action that you’re doing. You have to change the thoughts and the feelings as well. Okay, so that’s like the number one issue I have with any kind of like streak, okay, you’re not if you want to change a habit, you’re not addressing the real underlying causes of the habit and the underlying mental and emotional states that are driving the behavior. Alright.

Alright, the other issue I have with streaks is this: is that if you miss a day, you beat yourself up like crazy. So let’s say you put together a bunch of days in a row, let’s say you’re doing a running streak, and you run every single day for 60 days, or 90 days, or whatever it is. And then you miss a day. Oh, now you’re back to zero. You’re a failure.

You like you make it mean something really awful and negative like you’re a bad person. And all that hard work you’ve done, everything you’ve done is just wasted. It’s all gone. Now. I think this is a dumb way of looking at things, okay. When you beat yourself up, because you miss a day, I think you’re really missing the big picture.

All right, you’re just looking at a streak of a number of days. And you’re making it mean that like, you’re a good person if you continue with the streak. And if you end the streak, you’re a bad person. But I gotta tell you something, just about every single streak is going to come to an end at some point, right?

Just about every single streak that you engage in is probably going to come to an end at some point. Now I know people who have been on running streaks for 10 years, 15 years, they run every day and more power to you. That is amazing. That is really cool.

But if they were to stop that it doesn’t mean anything bad. It doesn’t mean that they have failed. It doesn’t mean they like their all that hard work is down the drain. But we think that’s what it means when we miss a day of a streak, you know, and I just have to make sure that we all understand that it doesn’t mean anything. Doesn’t mean anything.

It’s not anything negative unless you think it’s something negative. And that’s another problem I have with it is that we just think that it’s a bad thing if we end our streak, or if we don’t you know if we’re not successful if you say oh, you know, I’m going to stop eating sugar for 30 days and then halfway through. You eat half a doughnut or something like that.

Oh, all that hard work is down the drain. It’s not down the drain. You haven’t messed anything up really. Just go back to not eating sugar again. Boom, it’s easy. It doesn’t have to mean anything doesn’t have to be. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. It doesn’t mean you are a failure.

It doesn’t mean you have faith. It doesn’t mean you’re not improving your health, it just means that you, you know, you had a little mini failure or a setback or whatever you want to call it, it’s not a big deal, though, we just pick ourselves back up and start over.

You know, that’s all. That’s the work. The work is we just carry on, no matter what, no matter how many times we fall off the wagon, or whatever you want to call it. There’s no wagon, right? So a streak misses the bigger picture here.

And the bigger picture is this. Why are you really doing this? Why are you running every day? Why do you want to stop eating sugar for 30 days or 90 days? Why are you, you know, lifting weights every day? Why are you not drinking? What is the goal? If the goal is to just put a certain number of days together in a row? And to check them off on your calendar like x x x?

Like if that’s your goal, how many is is the right number? How many is enough? If you get to 100 days does that? What does that mean? All right, have you changed anything really? I think when we just focus on a number of days, in a row of something, we’re missing the bigger picture, we’re missing the big lie. Why are you doing this?

You know, I talked about this before, like I made this like, promise to myself last month, I was going to do yoga for a month for 30 days straight. And I got to about day 27. And I just couldn’t do it. Like I just had, I was traveling, I just didn’t have the time and I came to about 10 o’clock at night and I was like I made a decision I could either do it and it would have been weird, I was ready to go to bed.

Or I could just like skip it and make it not mean anything. And that’s what I chose, I made the decision to just skip it. And I was fine with that I felt good about that effect. It felt liberating. I felt like you know what? This, what a relief. Because sometimes we get into streaks of doing things every single day, and it becomes stressful for us. Is that how you want to go through your life, like stressed out about, I can’t miss a day of running, or I can’t miss a day of doing yoga, or I can’t miss a day of not eating sugar, whatever it is?

No, that’s not the point of life. You can’t go through your life that way. That’s no way to become the healthiest, most badass version of yourself to be stressed out about it every single day.

Listen, when I’m working with people, and we’re working on changing diets, and you know, changing their exercise and creating new habits and things like that we focus on the fun, we focus on making it enjoyable.

Because if you don’t, if this is a stressful nightmare for you, I guarantee you, you are going to fail, you’re going to quit, who wants to do that? I don’t want to do that I want to live my life that way. So what’s the bigger picture? Why are you really doing this? Why are you engaged in this, you know, a streak of whatever it is running every day? Or you know, not drinking every day? Why? Why do you want to do that? Why is that important to you?

Some examples that I hear from people are, you know, I want to be around for my kids. You know, I feel so good. When I’m not eating sugar, I feel so good when I’m not drinking. I want more of that in my life. I want to be able to play with my grandkids. And the way I’m going you know I’m you know my doctor says I need to get my blood sugars under control or whatever.

Like I want to lose weight, I want to be a strong and lean runner, I want to you know, I want to look good naked. I want to be a good example. I want to set a good example for my kids. And when you look at it this way, when you think about the bigger picture, the number of days in a row becomes irrelevant.

Doesn’t matter how many days in a row, you did something who cares? Do you want to just say it on your gravestone, you know? Well, you know, they ran 864 days in a row, but then they were a failure. No, you just want it to be like, you know, this is a badass person.

They were awesome. They were healthy. They were around for their kids. They were a good example for others. They inspired other people to be more they became the best version of themselves. That’s what I want. I don’t think you can fit all that on a gravestone. But I’m just saying that’s the way I want to be remembered.

So I think, you know the counting numbers of days in a row of something just kind of misses the bigger picture right. Now, here’s I’m going to kind of contradict myself a little bit here because I haven’t had a drink of alcohol for over 14 years. And I’m not going to end that streak anytime soon that I know of.

Alright, I’m not like purposely going to set out to like in that streak of not drinking. But my goal with this is not to put a number of days in a row together. That’s not the goal. I’m not just checking days off a calendar. My goal with not drinking is that I feel better when I don’t drink and I don’t have a desire to numb myself to my thoughts and feelings anymore.

And I want to live life and experience my emotions without numbing out to them. And so that’s why I don’t drink alcohol. And you know what, it’s fine, you know, I don’t have a desire for it anymore. And it’s fine for me to just like, I don’t want it.

And here’s where I’m kind of contradicting myself, because I have this app on my phone, and you can plug in like the date you stopped drinking, and it gives me some information. It says you’ve been sober. You’ve been sober for 14.2 years, 170.5 months, 5190 days, 124,548 hours, okay. And I look at that every now and then I just go hmm, all right, cool, whatever.

But what if, hypothetically, what if I had a drink? What if I had a sip of alcohol? And I had to put all those numbers back to zero? Does that mean that everything I’ve done and learned and accomplished in the last 14 years has been wasted? Does that mean that it was all for nothing? Does that, you know, diminish everything that I’ve done? Have I thrown it all away? Is everything down the drain? No, doesn’t mean any of that stuff doesn’t mean I’m a failure. I failed. No.

And I hear people talk about this sometimes in, you know, some of the sobriety sober circles that I’m in some of the, you know, networks that I’m in, and they talk about oh, so and so sober for like 20 years, and then they went out and drank. They just threw it all away. Really did they throw it all away? I don’t look at it that way. I don’t look at it that way at all.

I think you learn so much when you can change your habits. And when you can, like change your thinking and change your feeling and your actions and change that whole cycle and like really become aware and curious about how your brain works. And like you, I think you just learned so much and you grow so much in that process that it doesn’t matter how many days in a row, you do something, it really, really doesn’t.

You know, the real goal is to create healthy new habits that help you to become who you want to become that help you to become more. The real goal is to change how your mind works at its core to change your, your, your state, you know, to change your internal state so you can change your external reality to change your external world. The real goal is to reprogram your mind with new thought, feeling, and action patterns.

You know, and the way you do this is through awareness and curiosity. Just notice how you think and how you’re feeling. When you’re about to take an action. You know, when you’re about to do something when you’re about to grab for the drink, when you’re about to go for the sugar when you’re about to go off your plan or like not go run because you just don’t feel like it like what is your brain telling you in that moment? What’s important to you?

Be curious, be aware of how your brain is working. Now, I’m not saying streaks are bad, streaks are not bad. There are some benefits to streaks. And there are some reasons why you might want to do things every day in a row. Like it’s kind of motivating for some people.

Okay, so let’s say you’ve been running every day, and you know, there’s a day where you just don’t feel like it. Or maybe you have been like staying off of sugar. And then there’s a day where like, you’re all of a sudden you’re like I just want to eat some ice cream right now.

But you’ve said to yourself, well, you know, I’ve put a bunch of days together in a row. So I don’t want to break that streak like that can be kind of motivating for people. But I’m just telling you don’t rely on this one thing to change your habit because that’s not going to work.

Inevitably you will break the streak. Something will always happen. You’re going to break the streak and then what? You’re going to beat yourself up you’re right back to where you were before because you haven’t actually changed your thinking and feeling about it. Okay, but it can be a little bit motivating for some people, right.

Another thing I think is cool about streaks is that they can be kind of fun, like doing a 30-day challenge. Friends, like we’re gonna do in our Facebook group is kind of fun and can help you to maybe help you to do things that you might not normally do on your own. Right.

So you’ve got the support of people around you, you’re having fun doing something together. But just know that it’s not a magic pill, that’s going to automatically mean you have like, all these new habits, and you’re a changed person. But it can be fun. And it can help you to, you know, start to learn about yourself.

When you combine a streak with understanding how your thoughts and feelings work, that’s powerful, right, but just doing a thing every day and checking it off the calendar is not enough, really. Because listen, you can lock yourself away in a cabin in the middle of the woods, and try to get away from alcohol or try to, you know, distance yourself from ice cream, or whatever it is.

And then one day, somebody’s gonna come along with a bottle, or an ice cream cone and just be like, Hey, would you like to indulge in this and you’re just gonna screw it all up for you. Like, you just can’t get away from it right? And we have to understand how our brain works.

We have to change the way our thoughts and feelings and actions, that whole cycle, that whole pattern works in order to make these lasting and meaningful changes in our lives. Okay. Again, think about your why, why are you doing this? Why do you want to give up drinking? Why do you want to, you know, stop eating sugar so you can lose weight? Like, why is that important to you?

When we think about this, it starts to really tap into some deeper things that we can address and work through. Okay. All right, you guys, I hope you join us over in the Facebook group in July for our dry July challenge. I think it’s gonna be a lot of fun. We’re gonna have some fun just talking about, you know, maybe taking a break from alcohol for a little while.

And I hope you got something out of this particular episode today. If you did, please consider sharing it with a friend. I would love that. And as always love all of you keep on Running Lean. I’ll talk to you soon.

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