Running Lean with Patrick McGilvray
In my coaching practice, I hear this phrase a lot, “I feel like I’m spiraling out of control.” Spiraling out of control can feel terrible and typically leads to out-of-control behavior like eating …
Continue Reading about 125. Do You Feel Like You’re Spiraling Out of Control? →
My name is Patrick McGilvray, and I’m an experienced marathoner, ultra runner, Sports Nutritionist, Master Life Coach, and weight loss coach for runners. I’ve dedicated my life to helping runners just like you properly fuel your body and your mind. So you can get leaner, get stronger, run faster, and run longer than you ever thought possible. This is Running Lean.
Hey there, and welcome to Episode 125, of Running Lean. My name is Patrick McGilvray, the weight loss coach for runners and today, do you feel like you’re spiraling out of control? So in my coaching practice, I hear this phrase a lot. I feel like I’m spiraling out of control, spiraling out of control can feel terrible.
And it’s one of those things that kind of leads to out of control behavior, like eating all the Oreos in the house or eating an entire large pizza by yourself. And I know this from personal experience, by the way, but what does it really mean to be spiraling out of control? Are you actually out of control? Or does it just feel like it?
Is there no way to recover from the state that you’re in? In this episode of the podcast, I’m gonna explain what it really means when you feel like you’re spiraling out of control. And I’ll show you what you need to do to get yourself out of it.
But first, I want to encourage you to consider applying to join the Running Lean Coaching Project. This is my immersive coaching program, where you get all the guidance, the support, the knowledge, the accountability, that you need to hit your goals. I know that if you’re listening to this podcast, it means that you want more for yourself, you’re not okay with the status quo. There’s somebody that you want to become.
And in order for you to become that future version of yourself, you’re going to have to get into action, there are things you’re going to have to do that you’re not doing right now. There’s some things that you might have to stop doing that you’re doing right now. There’s changes that have to happen. And my job as your coach is to help you make those changes. My job is to help you get into action. My job is to help you to stay in action, and continue to make progress towards your goals.
You know, my job is to help you accomplish whatever it is that you want for yourself. So I’m here for you. If you’re one of those people that’s like you know, what I’ve been doing isn’t working. And I just need a little guidance, I need the support of an expert, I need somebody who’s helped hundreds of other people do the same thing. Then consider joining the Running Lean Coaching Project. It’s easy, all you got to do is go to runningleancoaching.com/apply.
You’re gonna fill out a short little application, you’re going to schedule a call with me, we’re going to talk about it. We’re going to talk about your goals. We’re going to talk about what it is you really want for yourself. And then we’re going to see if this is a good fit for you. I’ll answer all your questions, I’ll explain all the details of the coaching program. But nothing’s going to change unless you get into action. So I want to encourage you, if you’re thinking about this, if you’ve been on the fence about this, if this is something that you want for yourself, just take action, it doesn’t cost anything to schedule this call with me it doesn’t. It takes a little bit of time. And that’s it.
But don’t you owe that to yourself, just invest a little bit of time to find out if this is something that you want for yourself. I think it’s worth it. Just go to runningleancoaching.com/apply. Let’s jump on a call. We’ll see if this is a good fit for you. Sound good? Awesome. All right.
So a lot of people come to me and a lot of people share this, this phrase with me where they say like they feel like they’re spiraling out of control. And I want to break this down a little bit and talk about what this really means. So what does it really mean when you say you’re spiraling out of control?
So what that means for a lot of people is they’ve been doing pretty well for a while, maybe they’re sticking to a new kind of food plan. They’ve switched up their workout schedule. And things have been going pretty well for a while but then they have, you know, stopped they’ve they’ve stopped being consistent. They’ve stopped eating the right foods. They’ve gone back to binging on the Oreos and the pizza. And it feels like they’re out of control. And then this leads to feelings of frustration and guilt and shame.
And then you feel bad about yourself. And that feeling bad about yourself, all those feelings of guilt and shame about what you’ve been doing and how you can stay on track, you’d beat yourself up, oh my gosh, I always fail. That just leads to more, quote unquote, like out of control behavior. So you binge on even more Oreos, or Ben and Jerry’s ice cream or french fries, or whatever it is, that turns you on, you know. Because why bother?
And that’s kind of what we mean, when we say we’re spiraling out of control. You know, there’s some, there’s some out of control behavior happening, that creates these feelings within us of guilt and shame and frustration and failure. And it just leads to more out of control behavior. So that’s where the spiral comes from. Okay. I totally get this.
And this was definitely the way that I lived my life when I was drinking alcohol. When I was drinking alcohol, I would drink to excess every day. You know, every, every time five o’clock rolled around, I would start cracking open the beers. And I would drink until I fell asleep or passed out, however you want to say it. And I couldn’t stop that. I had been doing that for so many years, every day, thousands of days in a row, that to stop that felt impossible.
I felt like I had no control over my drinking. I felt like I had no control over my actions, I felt like I had no control over my behavior. So the things that I was doing just felt super out of control. And maybe it’s just my personality, but I kind of did the same thing with food. So I quit drinking, eventually, you know, it’s been over 15 years now. But a few years back, I was starting to get pretty out of control with my eating. And I was using food as an emotional management tool.
And I was that person, you know, I would order a large pizza and eat it by myself. And then you know, wash it down with some Ben and Jerry’s. So that was my deal. And that felt really out of control to like, I couldn’t not do that. And, and that led to really feeling terrible, gaining weight, feeling bad about myself, knowing I should be better knowing that I should be, you know, doing things differently. But feeling completely, like I had no control over my own decisions. Like I felt just like completely out of control. And that spiraling out of control feeling, it’s not a good feeling. Because the only solution really, when you’re in it, is to just keep going with that. At least that’s what it feels like, right?
And I just want you to think about this. Now, there are other ways that we can spiral out of control. And a lot of times we look to our circumstances, we look to things that are happening around us we can look to, oh, you know, my bosses got this. Yeah, things are crazy at work right now my bosses just laid all this extra work on me.
And it’s that time of the year where the kids are getting finished up with schooling and it’s crazy, you know, and then, oh, the husband is just driving me nuts with all this stuff right now and not supporting me, I’m trying to like change my diet, he’s just not supporting me, you know, and, you know, the in-laws are coming out.
Like, you can just keep layering on all the things that are happening around you. And it can really feel like you are spiraling out. Everywhere you look, there’s some reason, some story, some excuse, you know, something that is causing you, I’m using finger quotes, they’re causing you to just eat a bunch of crap, you know, because all you want to do is just not deal with any of this stuff here. So that spiraling feeling, forget it. It’s real, it feels real, doesn’t it?
But when you’re in that mode of feeling out of control, and it feels like there’s nothing you could do about it. This is where kind of there’s some negative consequences to this. Right? I think you can kind of see that. You know, you start veering off your plate and you start binging all the junk food, and you just stay stuck and you feel like crap in order to feel bad or you go for more food because that’s your default. That’s just the way you’ve programmed yourself.
You know, you want to stick to your running schedule, but you just can’t do it. So you just say screw it. And that’s another way where you’re just like, see I’m spiraling out of control, and you don’t make progress. And then you get even more flushed, frustrated, and you feel bad about yourself. And because like you keep letting yourself down, you make these promises to yourself that you’re not keeping, then it feels hopeless. And it feels like there’s nothing you can do about it.
But I want to tell you something. This is a victim mentality. This is blaming others. This is having excuses. This is having reasons, this is having stories. Here’s the thing, you know what you have control over? Always 100% of the time, you have control over your own thoughts, feelings and actions. That’s it.
And I would even argue that there are times when your thoughts can seem pretty automatic, but you can kind of quickly change them. I was talking to my coach today about this. And she said this phrase that I thought was amazing. She says, you need to be the guard at the door to your thoughts. You need to stand guard at the door to your thoughts? So there’s times when you know, something may sneak past you and you’re like, oops, I gotta like, keep that in check. Okay, so you have control over your own thoughts, feelings and actions. But what you don’t have control over is everything else.
All the circumstances, the boss, the kids, the husband, whatever it is, you don’t have control over that stuff. But you do have control over your own thoughts, feelings, you have control over the things over the way that you respond to the things happening around you. And I did a deep dive into this last week.
So if you listen to last week’s podcast, this kind of dovetails into it nicely. You know, your brain just wants to keep you safe, your brain just wants to keep you comfortable. And every time we indulge in change, every time we start changing something for the better your brain wants to shut that stuff down your brain is like no, we’re not doing that. Because that doesn’t feel comfortable.
Get us back to eating ice cream everyday. That’s where we felt good. That was our normal. That’s the familiar stuff, we’re used to this whole idea of not eating ice cream at night. What? Can’t do that. And so that spiraling a lot of times begins as just your brain wanting to get you back to safety. Your brain just wants to keep you safe, your brain just wants you to feel comfortable and safe. It’s always seeking pleasure. And it’s always avoiding pain.
You know, what’s pleasurable, eating ice cream, you know, it’s painful, not eating ice cream. And so then the spiraling begins, because the stuff just, you just keep going back to the easy, you keep going back to the safe, you keep going back to the comfortable. And the more you do it, the worse it gets. Because the more you do it, the easier it is right, the easier it is to eat the large pizza, the easier it is for you to do. And you’re just reinforcing those bad habits.
And it just becomes natural, it becomes part of who you are. You program yourself to act this way you program yourself to think and feel this way. That’s the spiraling that’s when it feels out of control. But I have to tell you, that this is all false. There is no out of control. You’re always in control. You’ve just taught yourself to act in a certain way. You’ve trained yourself to think and feel these thought patterns that feel so automatic, that you just feel like it’s just happening to you, but you’re doing it, you’re creating it yourself. You’re creating this spiraling feeling yourself. The out of control feeling, you’re doing that. It’s not anybody else. It’s not that you’re not actually out of control. It’s just you.
And you’re doing it because you just keep practicing these, these thought patterns. You just keep practicing these behaviors. And it just leads to more and more. More and more of the feeling of hopelessness, more and more of that feeling of like, I don’t have any control. There’s nothing I can do about this. And I get it. It’s easy. It’s easy to just say like I’m spiraling out of control. Like I have no control over this because then you don’t have to actually do anything about it. Right?
That’s the way I was with my drinking. My drinking felt so out of control. And I could just tell people like, oh, it’s just it’s out of control, I’m out of control. And then I didn’t have to do anything about it. Because I’m like, just shrug my shoulders. And there is nothing I can do about it, it’s out of control. It’s a cop out, really is, it’s a huge cop out. Listen, if you want to lose weight, then you have to take back your control.
Because I’m going to tell you right now that you were never out of control, you were just choosing thoughts, feelings and actions that just felt good. That’s it. And you’ve just been practicing it. So it just feels like it’s natural. It just feels easy. It just feels like it’s automatic, but it’s not. These are things you have control over. You have to be willing to do the work, though.
And you got to be willing to put yourself into some uncomfortable situations, you got to be willing to embrace the discomfort of change, because it’s uncomfortable. I get that talk about this all the time, right? Change is not comfortable. That’s why I do what I do as a coach. Because in order for you to lose weight and feel better, and get stronger, and become healthier, and run longer, and always say, you got to change stuff, there’s a lot of change we got to do to get you there.
You could do it, though. But it’s hard work. And it’s uncomfortable, it doesn’t feel good. You can still do it. But here’s the thing, the more you do it, the more you practice the more you practice the new stuff, the more you practice taking back your control, the easier that becomes for you.
That’s where we want to get to, that’s where we want to get, that’s when the magic starts to happen. Because then you’re like, you no longer can use that excuse of being out of control. Because you know how to take your control back. You no longer use that as a reason why you can’t make progress. You know, it’s kind of like pulling the rug out from under yourself. You’re like, look, guess what? I can’t use this excuse anymore.
It’s kind of the good and the bad news, right? It’s bad news. Because now you have no excuse, you just have to take responsibility. It’s good news, because now you get to change. Change is uncomfortable. Change is uncomfortable. It’s like a shedding of your old self. That’s an uncomfortable process to go through.
There’s all this stuff that you’ve been doing, it’s just your programming, and it’s part of who you are. And it’s so hard to let go of that stuff. For me, it was like pizza, ice cream, you know, when I was drinking, it was drinking 6-12 beers every night. That was part of who I was. To change that, to stop drinking, it just seemed like that does not compute. It does not compute.
This is not who I am, I had to become a different person. If you want to change, you want to stop the out of control BS, then you got to like shed that old version of yourself to become a different person. We use being out of control as an excuse. And we got to stop doing that. Okay. Now there are some things that happen, some traumatic events that happen in our lives that will take time to heal, you know, the death of a loved one.
If you go through a divorce, abuse, these things are, are a lot of times these things are out of your control. And the way you respond to these things can be out of control, it can feel that way. And it takes time to heal. But over time, you can heal and you can still get to choose how you think, feel and act you really do.
You know, choosing to feel sad or angry or hurt is 100% normal. It’s a normal response. If you you know, lose a loved one or go through a divorce. Like it’s it’s okay to grieve that and to feel sad or to feel angry to feel hurt. This is normal. You can get through these difficult times you can experience difficult emotions. You can also go through these things without adding the complication of the out of control behavior of binge eating or overdrinking.
You know, a couple years ago, I went through a divorce. This is hard. I used food to soothe myself. I was engaging in out of control behavior. At least it felt like that to me. And I used food as an emotional management tool. I don’t recommend doing this. I learned a lesson that I can just experience the emotions.
I can experience the hurt and the endless badness, and I could grieve that relationship. And I could be angry and all those things without eating large pizza, to feel better. And I could just be with the pain and be with the hurt and all that stuff and process the emotions without eating them. And I did. That’s when you kind of become an emotional badass.
Okay, so I’m just letting you know that there are traumatic things that happen that do take some time to heal from, you know, but we don’t have to also add the complication of you know, the out of control behavior or using that as an excuse to engage in the out of control behavior. Eating a large pizza by myself, not helping me to improve my emotional state that was not helping me to process my emotions that was not helping me to, to, to move on. It just kept me feeling terrible.
So that out of control, spiraling feeling, I just want you to really understand that you have control. And I want you to stop acting like you’re out of control. I want you to stop using this out of control, as an excuse, right? You know, stop pretending that you don’t have control over your own behavior. Always, always, always do take your power back, take your control back today, start doing this today, stop using this spiraling out of control as an excuse to stay stuck, and to stay small, and to stay comfortable.
There’s all kinds of areas of your life where you exhibit control, no matter what. Like think about, I talk to so many people about this and it cracks me up. I’ll be like, listen, okay, you feel out of control with your eating? Like you just have no control? What about your running? How are you doing with that? Are you sticking to your running schedule? You’re training for a marathon? Are you sticking to that schedule?
Oh, yeah, perfectly. I hit all my runs, no matter what I do all those workouts. I’m perfect with that. Perfect 100%. I’m like, well, that is the same date, like you, you have total control over that. Or you could choose to not be in control there. But you’re doing that you’re doing it over here in this area of your life. Why can’t you do it with your food? And something sort of I see like a light bulb go off in people’s heads, I can almost see it like being as if they’re like, oh, yeah, you’re right. I do have control over that. I do have control over my food, too. I’m just, I just don’t feel like it.
You know, I just like, yeah, and they and they kind of see that they can exhibit this control in other places of their life. It’s kind of like showing up for work on time. There’s so many people that like they just show up for work on time, no matter what they’re gonna show up for work every day, five days a week to get there on time. They make sure they’re sitting at their desk five minutes before their shift starts or whatever, like they are diligent about that.
But then I’m like, how’s it going sticking to that food plan? Oh, I can’t do it, can’t even put two days together. Like really? What about work? Like, are you going to show up late for work every day? Oh, no, I’ll do that perfectly. It’s that same concept. It’s the same concept. It’s the same thing happening in your brain. You’re just making choices. And you’re making excuses. And you’re using it as a way of keeping yourself safe and comfortable. But also stuck where you are. And you don’t want that I know I said that earlier. You want more for yourself. You want to become that badass person that you know you can be.
In order to get there. We’ve got to stop acting like we’re out of control. Stop thinking and feeling out of control thoughts and feelings stop in engaging in out of control behavior. Take back your power. Take back the control over every area of your life. I know you can do this. And if you want my help, I’m here for you. Okay. That’s all I got for you today. Love you all. Keep on Running Lean. Talk to you soon.
If you’re a runner and you’ve been struggling to lose weight or you keep losing and gaining the same 10 pounds over and over again. Or you’re finally ready to get to your natural weight and stay there for good this time then I have something you will love. I’ve created a powerful new training just for you called running lean for life. You’ll learn exactly how to transform yourself into a lean fat-burning running machine. So you can run without bonking, lose weight without calorie counting and develop the habits required to make it last for life. To get this free training right now go to runningleanpodcast.com/leanforlife and start your transformation today.
Most people don't realize that their thoughts are responsible for every result they are getting or not getting in their lives. They blame other people and outside circumstances for their inability …
Continue Reading about 124. Back to Basics: The Thought Model →
My name is Patrick McGilvray, and I’m an experienced marathoner, ultra runner, Sports Nutritionist, Master Life Coach, and weight loss coach for runners. I’ve dedicated my life to helping runners just like you properly fuel your body and your mind. So you can get leaner, get stronger, run faster, and run longer than you ever thought possible. This is Running Lean.
Hey there, and welcome to episode 124 of Running Lean. My name is Patrick McGilvray, the weight loss coach for runners. And today is another episode in the Back to Basics series. And today I’m talking about the thought model. So most people don’t realize that their thoughts are actually responsible for every result they’re getting or not getting in their lives. They blame other people. And they blame their circumstances for their inability to stay on their food plan or for their lack of motivation.
They have all kinds of stories and reasons why things just don’t ever work out for them. But I’m going to argue that this is a pretty crappy way to go through your life. Instead of being a victim of your circumstances. I want to talk to you today about how to take back control. So today I’m going back to the basics. I’m going to explain the thought model, I’ve talked about this before. But I want to explain in a bit of a different way today.
And I’m gonna show you how this is one of the most powerful coaching tools that I use in my coaching practice. And it’s also something that you can do on your own. And it’s a way of getting back your control. And so that you can get the results that you really want in your life. This is a very, very important concept, one of the most important concepts that I teach that I work on with my clients. And so I want to go over that with you today.
And this whole idea of like changing your thoughts, or you know, your thoughts or creating your results, and like how do we change this? How do we change our thoughts so that we can get better results? It’s a pretty simple concept. So I’m gonna go through this today, and you’re gonna understand, you’re going to understand this, like, theoretically, you’re going to understand is pretty simple, right? You just got to kind of change your thinking. But it’s not easy.
It’s one of those things that it’s simple, but not easy, okay. And it really takes three things to get better results in your life. It takes a commitment. It takes discipline, and it takes consistency. It takes those three things if you want different results. So if you’re ready to make that commitment to yourself, if you’re ready to be disciplined to show up and do the work, and if you’re ready to stay consistent, then you’re ready for the Running Lean Coaching Project.
This immersive coaching program includes group coaching, one-on-one coaching and all the knowledge support and the accountability you need to stay on track. You’ll learn what to do, you’ll learn how to do it, exactly what to do, you’ll learn all the tools and skills you need to stay on track and to stay consistent. Most importantly, you’re gonna learn how to make these powerful shifts in your mindset. So that you can create new habits, you can create new habits that feel easy and effortless, and that last for good.
I would love to help you with this, I would love to teach you exactly how to change your thinking. So you can get the results that you want, so that you can lose the weight , so you can get more fit so you can become a faster, stronger runner. If you’re ready for some change. If you’re ready for realistic lifestyle changes, shifts in your mindset and sustainable results. Then you’re ready for the Running Lean Coaching Project. Just go to runningleancoaching.com/apply.
To get started, you’ll fill out a short application, ask you a few questions, and you’ll schedule a zoom call with me which is free by the way. We’ll talk about your goals and we’ll see if coaching is a good fit for you. Just go to runningleancoaching.com/apply. And I would love for you to join us in the Running Lean Coaching Project. Cool.
So let’s get back to basics. Let’s talk about the thought model. Okay. I’m very excited about bringing this to you today. And I talk about this every single day, sometimes with one of my clients or more every day we talk about this. And it’s one of those tools that I have in my coaching tool belt that I think is one of the most powerful and when you understand this, and when you start living it you’re gonna see how powerful it is too, okay.
This has been one of the most life changing concepts that I have ever learned that I have used myself, and that I now, you know, use extensively in my coaching practice, okay? And there’s no secret here, this isn’t some secret thing. I’m going to explain how this works and how you kind of use this to get better results in your life. But I want you to apply this.
So be thinking about that, as I’m talking through this today, be thinking about how you can apply this in your own life. I’ll give you some examples and stuff. But think about how this stuff would apply to you in whatever you’re going through right now, whatever your goals are right now, whatever results you’re wanting to change right now. Okay.
So what is the thought model? I’m going to break it down, then I’ll and then I’ll dig into it a little bit deeper. The thought model is basically this. There are circumstances that happen around us, that’s just our circumstances, our circumstances are basically neutral. They’re neither good nor bad. Our circumstances don’t mean anything to us until we assign meaning to them. So that’s our thoughts.
Your thoughts are how you interpret the world around you, okay. And those thoughts will create feelings within you. Those feelings drive your actions, your actions, create your results. So the results that you get in your life is basically, you know, your reality. So your thoughts, if you really want to extrapolate this out, your thoughts create your reality. And this isn’t some like woo-woo thing, this is like, just the way it works, right?
This is, and it’s not some crazy fringe idea that just happened with this, like new age of thinking or something, this has been around for centuries, for thousands of years, right? The Greek and Roman scholars, the Stoics, started talking about this extensively. Epictetus was a Greek stoic philosopher from you know, he lived around 2000 years ago. And one of the quotes I love from him is that, “We cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond to them.” I’m going to say that one more time, because I love this. “We cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond to them.”
Think about that. That’s some powerful stuff right there, no matter what’s going on out there. You get to determine how you respond to what’s going on out there. And then Marcus Aurelius, he was another stoic philosopher and Roman emperor and lived around the same time around 2000 years ago. And I love his work and have been reading through, you know, his meditations. And we’ll just kind of pick a random, you know, passage and read through it.
But here’s a couple of quotes that I love from him. And this is from Marcus Aurelius. And he says, “The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.” What I know, it’s crazy, right? That they were thinking about this and talking about this so far, in the past and in ancient history.
And then another quote of his is, “Our life is what our thoughts make it. Our life is what our thoughts make it.” So your thoughts create your life, your thoughts create your reality. And more recently, in psychology, there is this law of philosophy, or a, I don’t know a concept called CBT, or cognitive behavioral therapy. And CBT focuses on challenging and changing, you know, what’s called cognitive distortions.
So these are thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes, and their associated behaviors, to develop better emotional regulation, your feelings, right, and develop personal coping strategies that seek that target solving current problem. So basically, what CBT is, is that your thoughts create feelings, your feelings, drive your behaviors or your actions. And then your actions will create, you know, you can solve problems or create problems based on the actions you’re taking.
So all this stuff, just lines up beautifully to gather. So this is not some weird fringe thing that like I came up with or whatever. And then there’s a couple of people that I’ve followed and read books from and like Byron Katie, she uses a very similar model of thought called, she calls it the work and she has a slightly different take on it.
Brooke Castillo. She’s the owner of The Life Coach School. I consider her one of my mentors. She teaches this very thoroughly, and she just calls it the model. And that’s her interpretation of it. But really, this is all the same stuff. This has been going around for thousands of years. So, in my coaching practice, I use this extensively. And I use many tools to help people get results, right?
This is what coaching is all about. When you think about it, this is a very, like, basic explanation of this, but like therapy kind of focuses on the past, you know, in general, and coaching, life coaching, the kind of coaching that I do, focuses on the future. therapy focuses on okay, why have you become who you’ve become up to this point?
And my coaching kind of focuses on, okay, here’s who you are today, how do we get to become who you want to be tomorrow. And so we kind of have a more forward focus, instead of being past focused, okay. And that’s where this thought model really is very powerful. Because you can, you can use it to change your current thinking, your current emotional state, your current behaviors, and start creating better results for yourself today.
And it doesn’t matter what’s happened in the past, we don’t really look to the past much in coaching, okay? we’re more focused on what can we do today to start changing our future and get better results? Okay. So that’s kind of the basis of where this came from, and what it’s all about, let me get into the details of how this works a little bit, okay.
So again, circumstances are neutral in our lives. And, you know, the things that are happening around us the things that are happening, or happening outside of us really don’t mean anything until we assign meaning to them with our thoughts. Okay. So once we have a thought about something that thought typically creates a feeling within us, and that feeling will drive our actions.
So whatever you’re doing something or not, is based on how you feel, then of course, your actions create results, you don’t get results without taking action. Okay? So let’s break this down. Circumstances: this is the stuff that’s happening outside of you. It’s the stuff that’s happening in your life.
So what’s going on at work? What’s going on at school? What’s going on in the household? So when you’re driving around in traffic, and so what’s going on everything that’s not you? Those are your circumstances, okay? It may even feel like you know, it’s your, you know, your spouse who’s you know, very deeply connected to you, but also not you.
Okay, so your spouse is still something that is a circumstance, it’s outside of you. The only things you have control over are your own thoughts, feelings and actions, what you think how you feel and what you do, you don’t have control over the circumstances in your life. Pretty much, pretty much the only thing you have control over is your own thoughts, feelings and actions. So circumstances, all that stuff out there is always neutral. It just is what it is.
It’s not good. It’s not bad. It’s not right. It’s not wrong, typically. And your circumstances really don’t mean anything until you assign meaning to them. This is very important. The circumstances in your life doesn’t mean anything until you assign meaning to that with your thoughts. Very, very important to understand these circumstances are neutral.
People blame their circumstances for their behavior, they blame the economy for their lack of financial, you know, well being, they, they look at the weather for how, you know, they’re they don’t feel like running, you know, they look at, you know, their situation at work for why they can’t, you know, maintain their food plan or whatever. These are also circumstances that don’t mean anything. Right?
Stop blaming your circumstances for your behavior, stop blaming your circumstances for your lack of results doesn’t work that way. People love the blame game. They love to blame everything that’s outside of them for their behavior. So they don’t have to take responsibility for it. Because it’s way easier to do that, right? This bugs me. It bugs me. Take responsibility. Take responsibility. When you understand that your circumstances are just neutral and that you know what you do or don’t do is based on your own thoughts and feelings, this changes the game. You cannot blame anybody else anymore.
In fact, I’m going to tell you right now, if you’re listening to this, and you understand this, which I hope you do, you will by the end of this episode, I’m sure you will. You can no longer blame me or anybody else for your lack of results, okay? That’s just the way it is. Okay? Because it’s just not, it doesn’t work that way that just doesn’t work that way.
But we do it, people do it all the time. Because it’s easy. It’s easier to blame other people that we can, I can’t lose weight because of you know, this is the way it is. Never works for me. Or the you know, boys, you know, I’m stressed out right now, because it works. So can lose weight. But it just keeps you stuck. You don’t get what you want, you don’t ever change, you don’t grow. Keeps you small and safe and comfortable. Yeah.
But that’s not what you want for yourself, right? If you’re listening to this right now, it’s because you want more for yourself, you want to become more, you’re not going to become more by blaming other people for where, where you are. So this is where we need to, like, stop blaming, stop looking at our circumstances as meaning anything. So your circumstances only mean something if you assign meaning to them, okay?
Very, very important; circumstances in our life are neutral. Everything that’s happening outside of us is neutral, doesn’t mean anything until you have a thought about it. So what are your thoughts? Thoughts are just sentences you say in your head, right? You experience thoughts in your mind, in your head. Your thoughts are basically that voice in your head. And for most people, it’s your own voice.
Have you ever thought about that before? Like your thoughts are in your own voice? I think that’s kind of cool. Now, if you’re hearing other voices in your head, that might be a problem, you may have to like seek some professional help for that. Typically, we hear our thoughts in our head in our own voice, okay. But if you’re hearing other voices telling you to do stuff, then I think maybe that could be problematic. Just saying, go get yourself checked out.
But our thoughts are just the sentences we say in our head. This is just like the chatter in our in our, in our minds, right? It’s the stories that we tell ourselves about what’s happening. It’s the way we interpret things. It’s the meaning that we assign to stuff. And your thoughts can be, you know, things that you believe to be true, because you’ve been thinking them over and over and over again for decades.
And, you know, when we put together lots of beliefs, that can become a whole belief system. And that’s a whole nother thing that’s like, really deep seated thoughts is all it is, and just systems of thoughts that you just kind of, you know, you put them all together, and they mean this, you know, but your thoughts are just your thoughts. That’s all they’re not true or false, necessarily. They’re what you believe to be true for you.
But the same thing is not necessarily true for somebody else. This is very important, like your thoughts are just about you. Your thoughts are only true for you. And when we extrapolate all this out, your thoughts actually create yours, your reality. And I’ll talk more about that in a second. But I just want you to understand that your thoughts, create your results, your thoughts are actually responsible for, you know, whether you’re getting what you want in your life or not.
So your thoughts are very important. So I call this the thought model, because it’s so much based on your thoughts. So it’s not what’s happening out there, that matters. It’s not the circumstances that matters. It’s how you perceive those circumstances. It’s important. It’s how you interpret it, it’s the meaning that you give to it, it’s the way you respond to what’s going on around you that really matters.
Okay, so let me give you a quick example, a couple examples here, of how our thoughts can be very different and create different realities for people. And so I was just at the beach, I love going to the beach, and I take a trip every year. And I love this place down in Central Florida that I go to and it’s just a beautiful beach and a little island. It’s very walkable. I don’t even get a car when I’m down there. I just walk everywhere and run and run on the beach every day.
But I was thinking that you know I grew up around the ocean and you know I grew up in Southern California and you know, lived in Northern California for a period of time and did a lot of surfing. And I just love the ocean. Love love the ocean right? But some people do not like the ocean, they think it’s very scary.
Okay, so imagine two different people standing at the ocean and looking out over the ocean. One person, somebody like me, could be standing there thinking of the ocean. This is like it brings back memories of my childhood and boogie boarding you know and surfing and and just playing in the ocean all day long and never wanting to leave. And even, you know, today, I, you know, I was swimming in the ocean just you know, days ago. And I just love it so much, it brings me so much joy, it brings me happiness, it’s like my happy place.
But for somebody else standing next to me, they could be looking out at that same ocean. And maybe when they were a kid, they have like a near drowning experience in the ocean, or maybe they saw somebody else drown in the ocean, something very traumatic happened to them. And for them, the ocean is a very different kind of place, it brings up all these feelings of fear, and danger. And it’s a dangerous place, and it should be avoided at all costs. Do not go in the ocean.
So different people looking at the same circumstances have very different ideas of what this means for them. So their reality is very different. One person would never go in the ocean at all ever. Another person wants to live in the ocean. That’d be mean, by the way. If I guess I live in the water, like a fish, that’d be amazing. But yeah, but for some people like it’s just a scary thing, and they would avoid it at all costs. So you can see different realities for different people based on their thoughts based on their interpretations.
Another example, and I use this one a lot too, which is when we talk about losing weight, one person might think that losing weight is hard, it never works, they always fail. They always give in to cravings, they can stay on track for any amount of time, they do find her in the week, but on the weekends always blow it can’t go on vacation because they always gain weight, or they go on vacation, but they always gain weight.
And so you know, they just come back, you know, heavier every time and blah, blah, blah. So that’s one person’s interpretation of what it means to lose weight and how hard it is and how it never works.
Another person might think that losing weight is easy, and kind of effortless, and so much fun. And no matter what’s happened in the past, they know that if they practice discipline, they stay consistent, they’ll eventually get there. And this is not something I’m just making up. I literally work with people who have both of these interpretations. One person who thinks it’s hard, it’s going to be hard for them.
The person who thinks it’s easy and effortless and fun, it’s going to be easy and effortless and fun for them. They will get their goals because they have this thought that you know, Hey, as long as I stay consistent, I’ll get there. This other person who says I always fail, I always give in, they will always fail and always give in. It’s just what happens. Okay, so this is thoughts, thoughts are sentences we say in our head thoughts are our stories, our interpretations of reality, or of our circumstances. And they are like the meaning that we give stuff. Okay, thoughts, so important to understand your thoughts.
So next, we have our feelings. So feelings are also emotions, we can use those two words interchangeably, and I do. But our feelings are caused by our thoughts. Our thoughts will create feelings within us. So if I think oh, losing weight is hard, it never works. I always fail. Whoa, how do you think you’re gonna feel when you think those feelings or think those thoughts you’re gonna be feeling terrible, right?
You’re gonna feel like, like a failure, you’re gonna feel frustrated, you’re gonna feel unmotivated, right. So, our feelings we all experience emotions, we all experience feelings are created by our thoughts, you cannot have an emotion. Without a thought that precedes that you cannot experience a feeling without a thought first. So your thoughts will make you feel an emotion, fear, anxiety, stress, boredom, frustration. These are all feelings. These are all emotional states.
Even love, happiness, joy, connection. These are all feelings. You know, if you think, you know, let’s say you’re newly dating someone and you’re just falling in love and every time you think about this person you feel this amount of like happiness and love that’s created by your thoughts about that person. Right? It has nothing to do with that person necessarily. It’s like your interpretation of it, because you don’t have those same feelings about somebody else. Okay.
So your thoughts always create your feelings, you have a thought, you think a thought and then it creates a feeling within you. You cannot experience a feeling without a thought that precedes it. You just can’t. Okay, now, thoughts you experience in your head, feelings you experience in your body. So your feelings or sensations that you feel in your body?
Think about it as like vibrations that you feel in your body, that’s all it is. That’s all it is. And you can get really good at just feeling your feelings or experiencing your feelings in your body, like experiencing your sensations in your body. And we do this in the coaching project, we learn how to experience and emotion without all the drama around it. Right, we don’t have to eat over our feelings anymore. This is a game changer, right?
When you’re willing to just experience an emotion just to feel that sensation in your body without having to do anything about it. This is where you become what I call a total emotional badass. Because you can experience any kind of emotion, fear, failure, frustration, whatever it is, doesn’t matter. When you’re willing to experience those emotions. You can do anything you want.
Most people don’t do stuff, they don’t go after what they really want, because they’re afraid of how they’re going to feel. Isn’t that crazy? People will say like, I could never run a marathon, it would just be, it’d be too hard. I’m like, what are you really afraid of? And when we break it down, it’s like, well, I’m afraid I’m gonna fail. And I’m like, well, what would that mean?
I just feel bad and feel like a failure. It’s just an emotion. What if you were just willing to feel like a failure, you would just go and do that you just go train for a marathon and do it. Who cares if you finish it or not? You did something that was super hard, you tried. If you’re willing to experience that failure, you can do anything you want. But people are afraid.
They’re afraid to try anything hard, they’re afraid to do anything that might you know that they might not, it may not work. All because they’re afraid to experience that feeling. Get good at feeling your feelings, and you can become a total badass. Okay.
What I really want you to understand here is that thoughts create your feelings, your feelings just don’t magically appear within you, okay? Your feelings are created by you. People don’t make you mad, you make yourself mad, based on, you know, how you’re interpreting what somebody said, somebody could say, you’re an ugly piece of crap. You know, but you don’t have to, like, take it personally.
You could be like, I’m beautiful. And I’m awesome. So I mean, sorry, it’s just not going to affect me. Or you can really take it personally. It’s all in how you interpret it has nothing to do with what the words are that are coming out of a person’s mouth. It’s how you’re interpreting it. So your feelings and your emotional state is caused by your thoughts, okay?
We have to understand that your feelings drive your actions, your actions are the things you do, what’s your behaviors, right. And your actions are driven by your emotional state, they’re driven by your feelings. So most people don’t take action unless they’re feeling like taking action, like they are driven by a certain feeling.
For example, motivation. This is a feeling that, you know, when you’re feeling motivated, you will do something like, if you want to go for a run, and you’re feeling motivated to run, you’ll go for a run. But if you’re feeling overwhelmed, or stressed, maybe you’re going to not feel like going for a run. So that feeling can be causing you to not take action.
Or maybe you’re frustrated because the scale isn’t moving. You’re feeling frustration. That’s a feeling. And so you go eat a whole sleeve of Oreos, right? This is like you’re feeling frustrated. And that’s what’s driving that action of eating the Oreos. You think it has something to do with the scale? You think it has something to do with something outside of you. But no, it’s just you.
You have thoughts about what it means. And you have this feeling. And so you decide you’re going to go and take this action based on how you’re feeling. Now there are some behaviors that we do, some actions that we take, that are automatic, like brushing your teeth, you don’t really need to feel a feeling necessarily, you don’t have to be really motivated to brush your teeth. Right? It’s just what you do. It’s kind of like an autopilot thing, okay.
But it’s taken you years of doing that behavior for it to become automatic. It wasn’t always automatic, right. But there could be other behaviors that you’re doing that feel automatic, like binging out on ice cream every night. This feels like an out of control behavior. Like it’s just something you have to do like you’re on autopilot. The fact is, you’ve just gotten really good at this behavior. And in order to change it, it’s going to take some work, okay?
But listen, this is important. You can always change the behavior, but it’s going to require you to do work, you got to like, change your thinking. That’s the gist of this whole thought model is that you have to like look Look at your thoughts and change your thinking in order to change the behavior because when you change your thinking, you’re going to change your your feelings, and then you’re going to change the the behavior that’s being driven by those feelings.
So that out of control eating seems like it’s just happening. And it’s just like, you know, out of your control, but you are in control, you always have a choice. I would even argue, like, you could choose not to brush your teeth, you could just be like, Oh, I’m just not going to brush my teeth. I would recommend that you do though, by the way. In the same vein, you can choose to not eat that ice cream, you are in control. You just don’t see it because you’ve just been doing the same thing for so long. It kind of feels automatic. But really, it’s not. It’s not automatic, like you can absolutely, you are always in control. And you can take back that control and take back your control, take back your power.
But people think their circumstances are causing them to take action. And that’s never the case. It’s never the circumstances like I’ll hear people say, well, I was on vacation, so I had to eat like crap all week. I was just on vacation, I ate amazingly well, all week. Or, you know, my husband always brings home pizza, so I just have to eat it. No, you don’t, that has nothing to do with it. Or I’m busy, so I don’t have time to work out. Oh, really? Who’s not busy?
These are all just circumstances, they don’t mean anything unless you assign meaning to them. They don’t mean anything until you have thoughts about them. You don’t act, you don’t take action based on what’s happening out there. You take action based on how you feel. And that’s always determined by your thoughts, okay, your behavior is driven by your feelings, your emotions, drive your actions, okay.
And then lastly, we have results. So you know, when you take action, you get results, you don’t get results by thinking about stuff, right, you don’t get bigger arms by thinking about lifting weights, you get bigger arms by going to the gym, and lifting heavy weights over and over again, consistently for some time. You only get results by taking action by doing things.
And since your actions are driven by your feelings, and your thoughts, create your feelings, your thoughts really create the results that you want. Your thoughts almost always prove. No, let me say this, again, your results almost always prove your thoughts to be true. The results that you get pretty much always match your thoughts. So here’s what I mean by this, let’s say you want to lose 40 pounds. But you think losing weight is too hard.
So you think you know I always fail. And that creates feelings of frustration and you and unmotivated. And these feelings cause you to take the action of quitting, you just give up you give up trying, why bother? And what are the results you get? You fail. So the thought I always fail has just been proven true for you. You just you manifested that, that thought I always fail. It’s just become true for you.
Here’s another way of looking at it. So here’s me. I’m building a badass body right now. Right? Here’s my circumstances. I’m 55 years old. And I’ve heard people say as you get older, you can’t get a badass body. Like you’re just going to continue to get fatter, and fluffier and saggier, blah, blah, blah, whatever. But here’s my thoughts about this.
My thoughts are, I believe in my heart that age does not matter. And I am armed with a commitment and the discipline and the mindset that’s going to make this happen. I’m going to stay consistent, and I’m going to make this happen no matter what. Those are my thoughts. These thoughts get me feeling pretty motivated. Like it gets me fired up when I think about this.
And that feeling of being fired up and motivated. This feeling drives me into action. Every day I hit the gym, I lift weights, I run, I eat right? I go to yoga. I do this every day. I’m not all that stuff every day. I eat right every day. But everyday I show up and I do something and I do it consistently. And these thoughts are what’s keeping me motivated. That motivation is driving me into the action of showing up and doing the work every day and the results.
I’ve got to tell you I’m becoming that badass that I want to become. I’m not where I want to be yet, but I am getting there, it’s going to take some time. But I’m already seeing bigger arms, bigger chest, my legs are way stronger than they were a year ago, whatever, I’m making it happen. And it’s the thoughts that are driving my behavior. And those thoughts are I am going to make this happen no matter what. And so those thoughts are proving this to be true that my thoughts are making this happen, my thoughts are making this my reality.
Okay, that’s what I want for you. So a couple things here. First of all, you are not your thoughts and feelings, all of your thoughts and feelings are optional. And they are all things you choose. You’re always making choices on how you think and feel. And these things are not you. They’re just your thoughts are just sentences you say in your head.
If feelings are just sensations you experience in your body, you are much more than just your thoughts and feelings. So I want you to understand this, okay? Your thoughts and feelings are creating your reality, though. They’re creating what’s happening to you. They’re creating the results that you’re getting or not getting in your life, okay, but they’re not you.
But if you want more for yourself, if you want different results, if you want to lose weight, if you want to get stronger, you want to become your most badass self, you gotta go within you got to do this work. You got to work on your mindset. And so mindset is the word that I use to encompass everything I just talked about. It’s basically a one word catch all that means your thoughts, your beliefs, your interpretations of what’s happening around you, it’s your feelings, your emotional state, it’s your attitude. It’s what’s driving your behavior, all of that stuff.
I just use the word mindset to kind of encapsulate all of this, it’s all the same stuff. So when I say mindset, I’m really talking about the thought model here, okay. And, for me, like this was one of the most profound things I’ve ever learned. And it’s changed my life more than anything else. And I liken it to seeing the matrix, right. Once you see it, you can’t unsee it.
So this work, living the thought model, this is life changing. And when you learn this, and when you start living it every day, it’s like taking the red pill in the matrix, you take the red pill, and you learn a potentially unsettling but life changing truth.
When you take the blue pill, you remain in contented ignorance. Most people live in a blue pill kind of world, they live in contented ignorance, they blame everybody and everything outside of themselves for their lack of progress. They can’t stick to their food plan, they can’t lose weight, they can’t get dry, they can’t run, they can’t bah bah, bah, based on you know, oh, it’s just everything that’s happening outside of me. I have no control over any of this stuff. That’s blue pill thinking. contented ignorance.
I want you to live in that life changing truth. Start living the thought model, right? Do not live in contented ignorance. Take the information you learned here today and apply it. Start noticing how you’re interpreting your situation. Start seeing when you’re creating stories around stuff that’s happening to you. Start noticing how your thoughts are making you feel. See how those feelings are driving you to take action, or maybe causing you to not take action.
And if you want different results, look to your thoughts. Get curious and approach all of this work with curiosity. You can ask yourself questions like hmm, I wonder what else could be true about this situation? I wonder how else I can interpret this. What thought patterns are keeping me stuck here today? I wonder what thought patterns might get me to moving closer to my goals. Okay. Ask yourself good questions. Stay curious. I truly hope you got something out of this episode today. And I truly hope that you do something with it. Okay. Love you all keep on Running Lean. I’ll talk to you soon.
If you’re a runner and you’ve been struggling to lose weight or you keep losing and gaining the same 10 pounds over and over again. Or you’re finally ready to get to your natural weight and stay there for good this time then I have something you will love. I’ve created a powerful new training just for you called running lean for life. You’ll learn exactly how to transform yourself into a lean fat-burning running machine. So you can run without bonking, lose weight without calorie counting and develop the habits required to make it last for life. To get this free training right now go to runningleanpodcast.com/leanforlife and start your transformation today.
Sometimes things just don't go your way. You might have to deal with a running-related injury, loss of job, divorce, another COVID lockdown, or some other unexpected setback in your life. What …
Continue Reading about 101. What to Do When Life Throws You Curveballs →
My name is Patrick McGilvray, and I’m an experienced marathoner, ultra runner, Sports Nutritionist, Master Life Coach, and weight loss coach for runners. I’ve dedicated my life to helping runners just like you properly fuel your body and your mind. So you can get leaner, get stronger, run faster and run longer than you ever thought possible. This is Running Lean.
Hey there, and welcome to Episode 101, of Running Lean. My name is Patrick McGilvray, the weight loss coach for runners and today, what to do when life throws you curveballs. Sometimes things just don’t go your way, you might have to deal with a running-related injury, loss of a job divorce, another COVID lockdown, or some other unexpected setback in your life.
What you do in these situations, and how you respond to them, can have a profound impact on your life, for the good or for the bat. Now, recently, I’ve been thrown a big curveball, and I’m going to talk more about that in this episode.
But instead of sitting around feeling sorry for myself, I’ve decided that I’m going to do everything that I can to get through this tough period, feeling good about myself and being as positive and productive as possible.
So this episode of the podcast is all about what to do when life throws you curveballs because you will always have a choice in how you respond to every single one of these events in your life, even when it feels like you don’t.
But first, if you like this podcast, you have to come check out the Running Lean community on Facebook. And all this month, all through the holidays between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day, we’re doing the running through the holidays challenge.
This is where we are challenging ourselves to run outside at least a mile every single day between Thanksgiving Day and New Year’s Day, I think it’s a total of 38 total days of running. So 38 days in a row.
And the reason we’re doing this is because this is a tough time of the year for a lot of people. It’s a time where a lot of people feel like they don’t want to go outside because it’s cold and it’s dark. And the weather is always kind of iffy.
But doing this challenge forces us to get outside every day, which is super good for you. It helps us to get through this challenging time of the year. Feeling good about ourselves, we get a sense of accomplishment. We get all the good endorphins and adrenaline going because we’re out there exercising every day. And we are all having a lot of fun doing this.
So if you’re interested in joining the challenge, it’s not too late. Just come and join us anytime you want. Just search for Running Lean community on Facebook and join us.
And then people always ask how they can work with me. And there are two ways you can do that. There’s the Running Lean coaching group. And then there’s one on one coaching and the Running Lean coaching group.
So the month of December, we’re talking all about building mental toughness. Last month, we focused on ending self-sabotage. And so the next step is once you understand how to avoid and end self-sabotage for good, the next step is to build the Mental Toughness that’s required to get you through hard times; to get you through the tough runs to get you through challenging situations like the holidays, maybe.
So come and join us in the Running Lean coaching group for December, learn how to train your mind to tough it out when the going gets tough because it will always get tough, I promise you. And whether you want to lose weight, run a marathon, run an ultra marathon, or just develop the habits to be able to make a plan and stick with it.
All of this stuff, it all requires mental toughness. You know, there’s going to be times when you don’t feel like working out, you don’t feel like sticking to your diet, or you just want to quit because it’s hard. But when you have mental toughness, you’ll get through all of it. If you’re interested, just go to runningleanpodcast.com/join and you can join the group any time.
And then the one-on-one coaching. If you’re ever looking for a little extra help, and you want to basically guarantee your success, I can offer you the expert guidance, support, encouragement, experience accountability that you need to make this work for you no matter what it is, no matter what your goals no matter what your lifestyle.
The best way to reach your goals is to have a coach guiding you and holding you accountable. Really, it’s just the most powerful thing that you can do for yourself. It’s the most powerfully powerful thing I’ve done for myself. I have several coaches that I work with. And it has made all the difference in my life. So if you’re interested in one on one coaching, just go to runningleanpodcast.com/apply, and we’ll see if coaching is a good fit for you.
Okay, so I wanted to come on here and talk about this subject today because I’ve had a pretty big curveball thrown my way. And I’ll talk more about that in a second.
But listen, we all get curveballs thrown at us, okay, life is never going to go as you plan it like things just don’t go as planned 100% of the time, right. But when they don’t go as planned, what do you do?
You know, sometimes we really have to step up our game, in order to develop the right mindset to be able to deal with whatever tough things are going on in our lives, whatever curveballs are thrown our way.
You know, so just understand that you know, I may be talking about something that’s going on with me here today. But I want you to be thinking about the kinds of curveballs that you have faced recently or maybe facing in the near future.
And the nature of curveballs is that we don’t know what they are, we don’t know that these things are going to happen. And we don’t know that we have to plan and sort of like build the mental toughness in order to get through these kinds of times, right.
So this is very much on my mind right now, because I’ve had a big curveball thrown my way, I have developed some tears in my rotator cuff. And so I’m having rotator cuff surgery in just a couple of days.
So just for those of you who are interested in knowing the mechanics here, so I have a torn supraspinous muscle in a torn subscapularis muscle. And I have biceps tendinitis. So I have a biceps tendon that should be long and skinny, like a spaghetti noodle. But instead, it’s all like frayed in the middle. And it’s all messed up. And it’s supposed to be in this groove. And it’s not in the groove, or it’s supposed to be, and I have not been able to lift weights for a while now.
And this has been something that’s been bugging me for a long, long time. So kind of the backstory here is that I did some sort of trauma to my shoulder. And I’m pretty sure this happened a few years back running on some trails falling down, catching myself, and jamming my shoulder.
And I probably did some sort of damage at that point. Because since then, for several years now my shoulder has not been right. And it’s been okay like I’ve been able to run, it’s been okay, I’ve been able to lift weights to a certain degree.
But about 14 months ago, 15 months ago, I started getting into heavier weights and started lifting more. And you know, it’s a gradual progression. But at some point during weightlifting, I noticed things starting to like really hurt and my shoulder. And so I’ve just been pushing through the pain, you know. I’ve just been sort of, like, that’s fine.
I went and saw a physical therapist, and they made an assessment. And they thought that you know, it would probably just heal up on its own because shoulder tears can heal up on their own, you know, and it didn’t heal up on its own.
And, and I’ve just been pushing through the pain, and I’ve been, you know, doing a lot of weightlifting. And it’s been okay, you know, there are things I can’t do, some overhead stuff, and there’s their stuff that’s more painful than others. But I’ve been able to pretty much do what I want to do.
I’ve run, you know, a couple of marathons this year, and it’s it’s been okay. But in the past few months, it’s gotten progressively worse. And so I started seeing another physical therapist, and we started doing all kinds of other stuff. And then we just decided at some point that whatever we were doing was not helping.
And my condition was actually getting worse. And so just to find out exactly what was going on, I had an MRI, and that MRI showed the torn rotator cuff muscles and the biceps tendon that’s all jacked up.
So, you know, the surgeon came in and he said, I got some bad news for you. You know, the only way you’re going to get better. The only way we’re going to fix this is surgery. And he’s a guy that’s like he’s not even told me he’s like, I don’t recommend surgery for most people, especially with tears like this, a lot of times we can fix you know, they’ll fix themselves they’ll get better on their own.
What you have is not going to get better on its own. What you have is going to get continually worse. And if you tear through this muscle it’s like hanging by a thread at this point and if you tear completely through it, the repairs gonna be much more difficult and it may not ever be the same. Like you may never be able to use your muscles properly again like they’re you they could atrophy so I was like, Oh my gosh, this is like terrible.
So I’m like, well, let’s do it, let’s, let’s have this surgery. So the surgery is scheduled for a couple of days from now. So my first reaction to all of this was, like, you know, this is just something that I have to deal with I, but I was a little bit pissed off about the whole thing, to be honest with you, okay?
And, and I had some choices about how I wanted to react, so I could be defeated, pissed off, I could be in denial, I could feel really resentful, and just beat myself up, you know, blame myself for not doing something sooner and on and on and on, right? I could do that.
Or I could do something else, right? I decided that I did not want to wallow in self-pity and be pissed off and defeated. That instead, I wanted to use this experience as a way of learning about myself. And being able to use this as a teaching experience so that I could share my experience with you, and put all these practical principles that I practice, and that I teach you guys, I’m going to put all this stuff into place.
I have all these awesome tools that I use in my coaching and all these principles that I teach, and all the mental and emotional tools that I have to build a deal with whatever. And so I’m bringing it all, I’m gonna bring everything I’ve got to this experience.
And because I don’t want to just like get through it, I don’t want to just muddle through it, I want to come out of this experience, I want to come out the other side of this experience, mentally, emotionally, and physically stronger than before.
And, for me, this is like such an important thing for me to do for myself, not just to, you know, prove to myself that I can get through this and feel good and get stronger. But I don’t want to sit around feeling sorry for myself and wallowing in misery. That is not how I want to spend the next few weeks or a few months or whatever it’s gonna take to recover from this thing.
So I’ve decided I’m going to, you know, take this opportunity to, you know, do this in a way that’s more badass. Okay, so for this first situation that I’m in, so I’ve got the surgery in a couple of days, right? And I had some thoughts about this.
And there were some things that were kind of swirling around in my brain. And I was having some concerns and some stress and some anxiety about all this. And I started to think about, okay, what are the thoughts that are causing all these feelings? Right? Our thoughts always cause our feelings, right.
So I decided to write down everything that I was thinking just the good, the bad, the crazy, everything, some of this stuff, and I’m going to share this with you guys here, I’m going to share some of my thoughts with you guys here. And then share, like what I’m doing with these thoughts and how I’m changing them.
But I started writing this stuff down, and I didn’t censor it. I just like wrote down everything I was thinking and feeling. And some of this is ridiculous, but whatever. That’s just the way our brains work. You know, sometimes we think ridiculous thoughts, you know.
But for me, I wanted to get control of how I was going into this whole thing, right? Even before I have my surgery, I wanted to make sure that I have the right mindset going into it. Okay.
So I did what’s called a thought download this is where we just write down everything that’s in our brains, get it on a piece of paper so that we can see it. And then we can look at these thoughts, and maybe challenge some of them because you don’t have to believe everything you think, right? I don’t have to believe everything. I think just because I’m thinking of thought does not mean that it’s true.
So I wrote down everything. And then I challenged all these thoughts. And I want to share this with you guys because I think it’ll be very helpful for you. And you can do this exact same thing for some situation that might be going on in your life, you might have your own curveball that’s been thrown your way. You know, there’s always something right.
There’s always something going on that in our lives that are not going as planned. It may be you know, work transitions, it may be relationship stuff, it may be stuff with our kids, or with school, or whatever. And and we get to choose how we want to approach these things. We don’t have to just react to them the way that everybody else does.
Because the way that everybody else reacts to these things typically is pretty crappy, and they just feel terrible. And they get stressed out and they you know, throw up their arms and just say like, everything sucks and like, I don’t want to do that. That’s not who I am.
So I’m not going to do that. Instead, I’m going to do some work. And so when I say do some work, I mean I’m going to sit down and really get in touch with what I’m thinking and feeling about this stuff. Okay.
So the first thing I’m going to share with you guys is just a list of a bunch of thoughts that I’ve had about this. Thoughts that are kind of causing me some emotional distress. Okay, so I’m going to give you my kind of thought download here and just share some of the stuff with you. And then I’ll talk about what we do from there.
So here are some of the thoughts that I wrote down about this upcoming surgery and in the recovery, and this whole situation. So the first one was that this isn’t gonna work, like the surgeries just not gonna work, it’s not gonna, it’s not going to heal me, I’m not going to get better.
Another thought is I’m going to lose my fitness, you know, I’ve worked really hard to get fit, and I’m going to lose fitness.
The next one is I won’t be able to handle the pain, the pain is gonna be too much. My business will suffer, I won’t be able to do simple things like, you know, tie my shoes or put on a shirt or fold laundry, you know, I’m going to get all soft and mushy physically get all doughy, I don’t want to be doughy.
Again, I used to be doughy and I don’t want to be doing that again. I’ll fall behind on my work, I’ll be in a bad mood all the time since I won’t be able to run and workout like I’m used to, it’s going to take a really long time to recover, I’m going to get fat.
Again, my whole routine in my whole schedule is going to be thrown off. I won’t ever be as fit as I was before surgery, people are gonna think I’m lazy, no one’s gonna want to help me, I’m going to be stuck inside my apartment, I won’t get to go outside, I’d love being outside every day, and I won’t be able to go outside.
I won’t be able to, you know, complete the running through the holidays challenge, which is important to me. I love doing this every year and I won’t be able to do that. I’m going to lose my mind just sitting around doing nothing all day. There are a lot of unknowns, like how long is the recovery going to take? When can I start my physical therapy? When can I start running again? When can I start lifting weights? Again? Like I don’t know, nobody can tell me any of these things right now.
So in some of these things I may not know the answer to for a long time. So these are a lot of the thoughts that I’m having about this. And I don’t know if you guys can probably relate to some of these things like some of this stuff is kind of crazy. Some of it is legit, you know?
So then I asked myself, like, how do I feel, thinking these thoughts? When I just read all those thoughts to you, I started to feel worried and anxious and full of fear and really stressed out. That’s how these thoughts make me feel they make me feel very anxious and very stressed out. Is this how I want to go through all this? Do I want to be worried and fearful and stressed out? No, I don’t.
And here’s the thing, though. We think that we are worried and anxious and full of fear and stressed out because of the situation. Because I have to have surgery and I’m going to be you know, it’s going to take me a while to recover. I’m automatically going to be worried and anxious and full of fear and stressed out. That is not true.
The truth is, it’s all those thoughts that I just rattled off to you – those are the things that are making me feel that way. It’s not the shoulder surgery, it’s making me feel that way it is all this stuff that I just said. So I’m having all these thoughts that are making me feel stressed out.
So what do we do when we feel stressed out? What would I do? Typically, when I’m feeling this way, our thoughts cause us to feel emotions. And the emotions I just went through were anxious fear, fearful, worried, stressed out. When you know, when you feel a certain way you take action, so your emotions drive your actions.
So what actions would I be taking or not taking based on how I feel? Well, I might start eating my feelings, I might start overeating and trying to eat to feel better. I might just sit around all day not doing anything just feeling sorry for myself wallowing in my own misery. Just even saying that out loud, feels terrible.
I might just be like worrying and being stressed out all day long. I just may just walk around being stressed and not do work and just like not feel productive and not want to do anything, not want to move just to sit around and stagnate. Like this is this is how I’m thinking I might show up these are some of the behaviors that I might partake in or avoid because of the way I’m feeling.
So this is just one scenario. This is like an option like I can choose to think all these thoughts I can choose to feel this way and I can choose to do these things. I can choose to feel anxious and stressed out and eat my feelings and be stressed and be and not feel like doing anything and just sit around and stagnate. That’s an option. Like I could do that if I wanted to. But that’s not what I’m going to do.
Okay, so what I’ve done is for each of these thoughts, I’ve reframed each one of these thoughts. And this is I think the part of this process that you can do this too, right? So I’m going to give you each of these thoughts that I had and give you an alternative thought that I’ve decided I want to think on purpose. And I wrote all these things down so that I would remember them and I could go through and read them.
Again and again, if I start to feel some of these things again, or if I start to think some of these thoughts again. So the first one is that the surgery is not going to work. Well, there’s no reason whatsoever for me to think that this is not going to work. Right?
Well, where’s this even coming from? Right? It’s very routine. There’s a very high success rate. The surgeon is awesome. He already told me this is gonna work. He’s super confident. So it’s gonna work. Like there’s no doubt about it. Okay, so that one, is gone, right. I’m feeling very confident. This is all gonna work. Okay.
My next thought is I’m going to lose fitness. Yes, this is true, like, I might lose some fitness, but I’m not going to become a couch potato. I’m not going to like lose all my fitness, I’ll get it back. And it’s only going to be for a few weeks, a few months, whatever it is, you know, I’m not going to be starting from scratch. I’m already very fit right now. I feel amazing right now. So the chances of me like, you know, becoming just super out of shape, it’s just not going to happen. Okay.
The next thought is I won’t be able to handle the pain, like, okay, first of all, I have all sorts of tools, I have meds. I have this Iceman, which is like a device that circulates cold, ice-cold water through a pad that you put around your shoulder. So it keeps your shoulder nice and cold to help with the pain and the inflammation and stuff like that post-surgery.
I have supplements, I even have narcotics that they’ve prescribed to me if necessary, I’m gonna try not to take those but you know that that’s an option if I need to, I have all these tools at my you know, that I can use if I need them.
And also, I have a pretty high tolerance for pain, you know, I’m able to handle quite a bit of pain without using any kind of medications and things like that. So, I’ve had many other surgeries that are way more invasive than what they’re going to be doing. This is arthroscopic surgery, so it’s not going to be as invasive as if they had to just like slice me all open or whatever.
So I’ve had these other surgeries that have been way more invasive, and I’ve been fine. So I’ll be able to handle the pain. Next thought my business will suffer, you know what my business will be fine, I’m only taking a couple of days off work, I can still work while I’m recovering. It’s not like I’m going to be an invalid here. I’m just going to have you know, my arm in a sling, and deal with pain and things like that. But I’ll be able to do most things, right.
Next thought, I won’t be able to do simple things like you know, fold laundry, tie my shoes, things like that. This is true, like these things may be tougher for me. But all kinds of people learn how to do these things, like get themselves dressed, tie their shoes, whatever with one hand. And it’s a skill that I can learn.
And it may be difficult and it may be tough to put a shirt on. Or something like that may be sort of painful to move my arm in that position or whatever. But I can make it work, it’s just something I can learn. Just have to learn how to do it, you know, do a lot of things left-handed.
So it’s my right shoulder that I’m getting repaired. So I’m right-handed. So I’m gonna have to deal with like the left-handed stuff, I’ve already been practicing a lot of stuff left hand like I can drive with my left hand perfectly.
So next thought is I’ll fall behind on my work, you know what, here’s a way of reframing that, like, I’m gonna have a lot of downtime. So I can actually get caught up on my work since I won’t be, you know, out running and working out as much as I was before.
Another thought I’m going to be in a bad mood since I can run a workout. Well, listen, my mood is not determined by how often I run or work out, my mood is determined by my thoughts. So whether I work out or not, that is just a circumstance. And I get to choose what I make it mean.
So I can make it mean that I’m going to be in a bad mood, or I can choose to make it mean that it doesn’t affect me at all. And then I can still be in a good mood. Listen, our mood is not determined by you know, when we you know how far we run or how often we work out. It does help. Those things do make us feel happier at times.
They kind of release some good hormones, we get the adrenaline going, we get the serotonin going, we get you know, these happy hormones going. But at the same time, we can still feel good about ourselves without that, right.
Alright, another thought is that it’s going to take a really long time to recover. And here’s the thing, I don’t know how long it’s gonna take. You know, they told me three to four months before I’m back to normal. So recovery time, just it is what it is. But I’m going to do everything that I can to make this go as fast as possible.
I’m going to hit all my PT appointments, I’m going to go as soon as that they’re allowed me to go, which is right away, they said, you know, they want to get me moving right away, I’m going to do all the at-home exercises.
I’ve got access to a gym, so I can go and do everything that I need to there. I’m going to be the ideal patient, you know. And I’m going to do everything that I’m told to do. And I’m going to get better as fast as possible. I want to blow their minds with how quickly I heal up and get better.
Okay, next thought I’ll get fat again. Well, now this one is one of those silly thoughts. This is just ridiculous, right? Me getting fat, again, would require me to dramatically change my diet. And that’s just not going to happen. Okay, so I’m going to continue to plan ahead and stick to my plan, I’m going to continue to weigh myself every day so that I can react, if the weight starts creeping up, I’ll probably need to cut back on how much I’m eating just because I’m not working out as much.
So when we work out and we run a lot and we’re you know, working out several times a week and things like that, you may need more calories, because you are, you’re burning off some of these calories and your body naturally will require more energy.
As we back off from some of these things and become a little more sedentary, we don’t require as much energy coming in. So we have to be mindful of that. So I’m going to be very mindful of that and just practice a little more restraint and just you know, not eat as much really.
You can use you know, you can get good at this and use your own intuition and your biological the way you feel like your, your body’s internal sort of hunger and satiety signals to determine how much you need to eat. And so I’m going to be practicing that. I won’t get that, again, I’m not worried about that.
Next thought my whole routine in my schedule is gonna be thrown off. Yeah, my typical schedule will be different, that’s okay. But here’s what I’m gonna do, I’m going to create as much structure as possible so that even though my routine and my schedule are different, it’s not necessarily a bad thing.
I can change things up and create sort of a new routine and new structure, and changing things up every now and then is actually a good thing, right? It changes your perspective and gets you focused on different things. So I’m not too worried about that one.
Let’s see the next thought, I won’t be I won’t ever be as fit as I was pre-surgery. So I have this goal to become the fittest, strongest, most badass version of myself yet. And this to me, this period of time is just a setback. And it’s not going to deter me from achieving that goal, it’s not going to make me give up, or quit. This time is very brief in the big picture. This is just a blip on the radar right.
Now, I’ve already decided that 2022 is going to be the year when I improved my fitness like I never had before. You know, I might be doing a little bit less running, I might be doing a lot more weight training. But this is actually getting me feeling good is getting me feeling very excited.
Next thought I’m going to be seen as lazy, okay, this is just one of those fleeting thoughts, I wrote it down because it came up in my head, nobody’s gonna think I’m lazy, I’m not lazy, I’ve never been lazy.
And if somebody thinks I’m being lazy, there is nothing I can do about the way that they think that’s just their thoughts, their opinions of me. And there’s nothing I can do about that. So that one is just sort of ridiculous.
The next thought was no one’s going to want to help me. And this thought has already been put to rest because I’ve already received an outpouring of support and offers of help from my friends and my family. People want to bring me food and get me groceries and just come and hang out with me and watch movies and stuff like that. So I’ve already got all the help and support that I need. And then some. So this is super fun. So I’m feeling good about that.
My next thought was that I’m going to be stuck inside my apartment, I won’t get to go outside. I love being outside. I really do especially this time of the year. And I’ve kind of thought about this and I don’t think it’s going to be that big of a deal.
I suspect I won’t get outside for a few days maybe. But as soon as I can, I’m going to make getting outside of priority like even if it’s just to go sit outside and get a little bit of sunshine on my face or whatever. If we have some sunshine in the Midwest here.
So it might be a few days but that’s about it. You know, as soon as I’m able to I’m gonna try to get outside maybe go for a short walk or something like that and try to get outside every day.
Next thought I won’t be able to complete the running through the holidays challenge and this is true, right? I probably won’t be able to do every day of the challenge, but I’m doing what I can up until the day of my surgery. I’ll even run on the morning of the surgery and the surgery is until like noon or so on Thursday so I’ll be able to run in the morning, but then who knows.
Maybe towards the end of the month, towards the end of December, I can get back into running a mile at a time. I don’t know, it depends on what they tell me I’m allowed to do. I might be, I might be a little too optimistic about that. But either way is fine.
My goal through this challenge then is to be here to help encourage you and support every one of you as you keep up with your running streak, and you are participating in this challenge. And listen, I’m looking at this, this whole thing is for surgery in this recovery as my challenge. This is my, you know, running through the holidays challenge, this is my equivalent of that. My challenge is to get myself through this period and slide into 2022 feeling amazing. Okay.
My next thought is I’m gonna lose my mind sitting around doing nothing all day. Well, first of all, I’m not going to be sitting around doing nothing all day, there are lots of things I’m going to be doing lots of things I’m focused on.
And just because I can’t run, just because I can’t lift weights doesn’t mean I’m going to lose my mind, right? And it doesn’t mean I’m going to sit around all day. So I don’t know that that was just one of those fleeting thoughts that sort of came through my head. So I wrote it down.
My last thought about all this was that there’s a lot of unknowns, right? How long is the recovery? When do I start PT? Where can I start running again? When can I start lifting again, when will I be pain-free? All these things are unknown. There are a lot of unknowns. And this is true, right?
But this is the nature of life itself. Nothing is really ever known for certain. And worrying about all of the unknowns does not make them known. It doesn’t make you feel any better. All it does is it get me super stressed out and anxious right here now. So worrying about the future just destroys this moment right here.
And listen, each thing that I just mentioned, each of these unknowns will eventually become known. And this will give me a chance to practice patience and practice acceptance and practice staying in the present moment, right here now. So these are all my reframes of all the thoughts that I had. Okay?
How do these thoughts make me feel? Well, this list of thoughts that I just went over with you, make me feel motivated, they make me feel encouraged, I feel hopeful. I’m even excited. I’m excited about who I’m going to be when I get through this surgery and the recovery process and all that, I’m excited.
And then what do I do when I feel this way I get into action, I’m going to use this downtime to work on projects. Like I’m writing a book, I’m working to work on them, just give me some time to work on my book, I’m going to move as much as I can.
I’m going to develop more time to pour into the Running Lean coaching group and devote more time to pouring into the Running Lean Facebook community. I’m going to get moving as soon as I can. And I’m going to use this time to better myself.
Instead of suffering and feeling sorry for myself. And wallowing in misery and stagnating. I’m going to focus on growing and becoming more. Even when life throws us curveballs, we can focus on growing and becoming more.
I saw this quote today and it was just so perfect. It’s this: “Fear, uncertainty, and discomfort are your compasses toward growth.”
So I want you to think about that – fear, uncertainty, and discomfort are your compasses towards growth. So for me, this is all about growth. The fear, the uncertainty, the discomfort that I’m about to face here is all about growth, it’s going to point me in the direction of growth.
So this work, I did this thought work that I did, where I listed all my thoughts and then reframe them. This is the first work that I’m doing to get into the right mindset about this whole surgery and recovery thing. So the surgeries a couple of days.
And this podcast has actually come out if you’re listening to this on Friday, then I had my surgery yesterday. So the hard part, hopefully for me will be over by the time you’re listening to this. But my goal is to continue to share my experiences with you and to share my thoughts and feelings about this journey of recovery with you because I think there’s a lot to learn here.
There’s a lot that we can all learn here. There are a lot of lessons in this stuff like when life throws us curveballs. There are things that we can learn and there are things that we can start to practice so that we can build the mental toughness that we need to get through them. Right.
And you may not be going through the same thing as me, but we all have curveballs. You know, it’s up to you to decide how you want to respond to them. Remember, you always have a choice and how to respond.
You get to choose how you want to think and feel about everything that happens in your life. And for me I’m choosing to respond with positivity with motivation and with excitement, right? It’s not easy. It’s tough.
It’s hard to look at these circumstances in our lives, some of these curveballs, and see the good that can come from that. It’s hard to do that most people don’t do this, but this is the work that we all have to do. Alright, you guys, you got this. I got this. Love you all keep on Running Lean. We’ll talk to you soon.
If you’re a runner and you’ve been struggling to lose weight or you keep losing and gaining the same 10 pounds over and over again. Or you’re finally ready to get to your natural weight and stay there for good this time then I have something you will love. I’ve created a powerful new training just for you called running lean for life. You’ll learn exactly how to transform yourself into a lean fat-burning running machine. So you can run without bonking, lose weight without calorie counting and develop the habits required to make it last for life. To get this free training right now go to runningleanpodcast.com/leanforlife and start your transformation today.
I talk a lot about losing weight and eventually getting to your “natural weight” but I’ve never really taken the time to explain what your “natural weight” is. Several people have been asking me …
Continue Reading about 93. How to Tell When You’re at Your Natural Weight →
My name is Patrick McGilvray, and I’m an experienced marathoner, ultra runner, Sports Nutritionist, Master Life Coach, and weight loss coach for runners. I’ve dedicated my life to helping runners just like you properly fuel your body and your mind. So you can get leaner, get stronger, run faster and run longer than you ever thought possible. This is Running Lean.
Hey there, and welcome to episode 93 of Running Lean. My name is Patrick McGilvray, the weight loss coach for runners. And today I’m talking about how to tell when you’re at your natural weight. You know, I talk a lot about weight loss here on the podcast. And I talk about eventually getting to your natural weight, whatever that is for you. But I’ve never really taken the time to explain what that means.
What is your natural weight? What does this even mean? And people have been asking me about this lately. They’re like, Patrick, what does this mean? So I thought it’d be a good idea to dig into this topic here on the podcast today.
Listen, I get it, losing weight is a very challenging and very personal thing, there’s not one right way to do it. Okay, lots of different things work for different people. And the same goes for what your natural weight should be. It’s a very personal thing. And yet, lots of people have different opinions about what your natural weight should be. So in this episode, I’m going to talk about some of the standards we use to determine ideal weight, why they don’t really work for everyone, what natural weight really means and how to tell when you’re at your natural weight.
But first, if you liked this podcast, please come check out the Running Lean podcast community. On Facebook. It’s a group that goes hand in hand with the podcast, it extends the conversation, it gives you a voice, you can ask questions, get answers, and be a part of a very positive, very supportive, very encouraging group on Facebook, just search for Running Lean community on Facebook and join us in the fun.
And then here’s a message that I received from a listener the other day on Instagram. And I just have to tell you guys that I love getting messages like this, and I get them all the time. And I really, really appreciate it. And it means a lot to me. And it means that what I’m doing is having an impact on you. And so I really appreciate these kinds of messages from you guys.
Anyway, this person wrote, “Hey, I really appreciate your podcasts. I found it at a troubling time in my life. And you’re helping me get my mind straight and help me motivate myself to be a better me.” Thank you. Wow, I love that. This is why I do what I do, guys.
Okay. Speaking of what I do, people ask me how they can work with me two ways you can get more out of the Running Lean program. Number one is the Running Lean coaching group. This is my group where we meet once a week, and we do a group Zoom call, I do a little bit of coaching and training in the group.
But it’s a place where you get to ask questions. It’s a place where you get to feel supported, and you get to have your voice heard and get some answers and hear from other people like you that are going through the same kinds of things. Each month, we kind of dig into a different topic.
The month of October, we’re talking about injury prevention, we’re talking about building strength and increasing our flexibility. And I’ve got a couple of special guests coming in to share some of their expertise on the subject. So it’s going to be super fun.
If you want to join the group, you can do that at any time, just go to lunch runningleanpodcast.com/join. And then the other way to work with me is you can hire me as your coach, I’m a one on one coach, this is what I do. working one on one with me is probably the best way to get whatever results you’re looking for.
If you want to become a different person you want to, you know, make some sort of transformation in your health and fitness, having a coach there to help you every step of the way is probably the best way to do it. And hey, it doesn’t even have to be me, it can be anybody, any coach that you feel like you have a connection with. Okay, so I just want you to know that coaching is extremely effective, extremely effective.
And when you sign up for one on one coaching with me, you also get access to the group calls and all the group stuff too. So it’s kind of a win win. If you want to apply for coaching, just go to runningleanpodcast.com/apply.
Okay, let’s talk about this natural weight thing. What does this even mean? People ask me all the time, like what is your natural weight mean? And I thought about it. I’m like, I guess I really haven’t taken the time to explain this very well. Some people keep asking about it. So I thought I would take the time today to do that. So we’re going to talk about what what your natural weight means and how you can sort of tell if you’re there.
How do you know? When you’re at your natural way? What does what does all this mean? Okay? First I want to go back a little bit and talk about sort of some standards that we use to determine ideal weight. And one of those standards, kind of the big standard out there you guys have heard of is probably BMI, right? This is your height to weight ratio. That’s all it is.
It’s like how tall are you? How much do you weigh? Oh, you know, you’re either this either says you’re, you know, average or below average or above average, or is it’ll say you’re overweight or obese or whatever. And this is not a really good measure of of where you are on the health and fitness scale because it’s not considering things like your age, or your gender, or your muscle mass, or your body type, or whether you’re an athlete or not.
When I plugged my numbers into the BMI calculator on the National Institute of Health’s website, it says I’m overweight, I’m in the overweight category, because I weigh like 175 pounds. I’m 5’11.
And I’m just going to tell you right now, in my opinion, I’m exactly where I want to be, and I am not overweight, my body composition kind of looks like I’m about a 12.9% body fat right now. And this is down from about 15% at the beginning of this year. So I’ve gained about 12 pounds of muscle and lost some percentage of fat, I can’t remember the exact number, but I’ve lost like 8 or 10 pounds of fat or something like that. So I’m like, if you look at like some other ways of measuring your your body composition, I’m in the excellent category like gold star for me, okay.
And another example, and I’ve mentioned my son Jack before, he’s a bodybuilder and this dude is huge, right? He’s the same height as me. But he weighs probably 25 pounds more than me, he would be considered like almost on the obese side of things, according to the National Institutes of Health, but he’s super fit. He doesn’t have a ton of body fat on him. He has a ton of muscle, right?
So when we look at BMI, it’s not telling the whole story, there’s a lot more stuff going on. And there are other like, ideal weight calculators that you can find online, and they will factor in things like your age and your gender. But it’s still like age, gender, height, weight. That’s about it. You know, there’s just more to the story. Okay.
So this is like the one big standard out there is like BMI. Another standard, and I’m using this word standard in quotes here. Okay, I’m doing finger quotes right now, the other standard we tend to go by is what other people think our weight should be. Everyone seems to have an opinion about what your weight should be, right?
Even well-meaning people like your husband or your wife, they might say things like, you don’t need to lose weight, you look fine. You know, I love you just the way you are, oh, I don’t want you to get too skinny. When are you going to stop losing weight? Like these things are not helpful. These kinds of statements are not helpful. These people they mean well, but they don’t get decide what your body weight should be.
And when people start to say things like this, I just have to tell you, when people see you start to lose weight and maybe get healthier, it makes them uncomfortable. And when they say something like, “You don’t need to lose weight, you’re fine. You know, you need to eat something, don’t get too skinny. You’re too skinny.”
Like people will say these things. And they’re saying this stuff because they feel uncomfortable about themselves. So these kinds of statements are really about them and not about you at all. They start questioning their own choices. They start questioning their own body weight to they start questioning how they feel about themselves.
And when you’re on a different path than them, maybe you’re improving yourself, they start to feel a little uncomfortable. So when it comes to other people not feeling comfortable about themselves and trying to sort of like look at you and maybe pull you down a little bit.
There’s this theory called crabs in a bucket and it’s just a funny thing. And it’s like if you have one crab in a bucket, it’ll it’ll crawl out of the bucket and it’ll figure out a way to sort of grab on to the edge and sort of crawl out of that bucket. Okay, apparently this is what crab fishermen do or whatever they figured this out.
But when you put more than one crab in the bucket, as that one starts to crawl out, another crab will pull it down, the other crab in the bucket will pull it down, because it doesn’t want it to escape. It’s like, oh, you’re not going anywhere, you’re gonna stay right down here with me.
And this is the way people in our lives are, sometimes they’re like crabs in the bucket, right? They pull us down to their level, they pull us down, because us leaving and going somewhere else and getting out of the bucket, it feels uncomfortable for them. Okay.
So just understand that when other people have opinions about what you should weigh, or what your diet should be like, or how you look or whatever, that’s all about them and not about you. Right, and you don’t have to listen to those people.
Okay, another sort of like standard of weight out there. It’s not necessarily like a standard of weight. But it’s a theory, it’s called the set point theory. And the set point theory states that our bodies have sort of a preset weight, that is hardwired into our DNA, it’s like a genetic thing. And according to the setpoint theory, our weight, and how much we can change our weight from this, whatever set point is, might be limited.
And the set point theory says that some of us have higher weight points, and some of us have lower weight points, and then it’s like our bodies are fighting to stay within this range that we have, okay. So your weight may go up or down temporarily, but eventually, it’s going to try to return to whatever this comfortable like setpoint is, okay.
So you may gain some weight, you may lose some weight, but there are these biological signals that are being sent to help you stay at this, whatever is like normal for you, okay. And according to the setpoint rate, you can change the setpoint. Right. So it’s not something that is like, necessarily fixed, but it requires a little bit of work.
So a lot of people can lose weight and keep it off for good. Like many, many, many people do this, right? A lot of people find it very difficult to but your your metabolic setpoint, you know, maybe right now, maybe like 50 pounds overweight, basically, right? That just because that’s where you’ve been for a long time.
And to change that setpoint, you have to lose some weight, and you have to keep it off for a period of time. And once you keep it off for a period of time, your body begins to adapt to this new normal sort of setpoint, this becomes your new normal setpoint. And the longer you stay at the lower weight, the easier it is to maintain.
Now, I just have to say, this is very important. This is just a theory, it’s not really proven in science. And I don’t necessarily think this is 100% true, because I’ve seen many, many people, in my experience and my coaching experience, I’ve helped many, many people to maintain a lower weight without much of an issue. I think maintaining your weight has more to do with your mental and emotional states and your relationship with food than it does with some hardcore, hard coded like DNA setpoint or whatever.
Okay, so that’s just something I wanted to throw out there as something some people have mentioned and asked about, and is this, you know, kind of regulating our natural weight? And there may be some evidence there that says, yeah, could have something to do with it. There’s also some evidence that’s like, no, it doesn’t really matter. Like, you can change that. Okay.
So I don’t believe these ways that we measure, quote, unquote, ideal weight, I don’t think they’re super helpful, because they don’t work across the board for everybody perfectly. They might get you in a ballpark. But then again, it’s like what, what is your natural weight? What’s gonna work for you as an individual? And these standards, they don’t factor in things like your body type, your body shape, how athletic you are, how much muscle mass you have, how long have you been at this weight, etc. So this is why I kind of use the word natural weight instead.
And so what do I mean by natural weight? And how do you know when you get there? Well, your natural weight is something that is very personal to you. It’s not how you measure up according to some government chart. It’s not how you compare yourself to people on Instagram. It’s where you feel good about yourself. Your natural weight is where you feel your healthiest.
So many people come to me and they’re like, I just want to feel healthy. I don’t feel healthy right now. So they would just want to get healthy. So when you feel healthy when you feel your healthiest, then you’re probably going to be close to your natural weight. When you feel confident about yourself. You’re probably getting close to your natural weight.
Lots of people don’t feel confident about their body. They’re always trying to hide their body. They wear baggy clothes, they don’t like being in photos. They do things to cover up their body because they don’t feel confident they don’t feel comfortable. When you feel comfortable and confident in your body and your skin, you’re getting close to your natural weight.
Can you wear clothes that flatter your body, maybe show off your body? Maybe you rock a bikini, this could be a sign that you’re at your natural weight. Can you wear those jeans you used a lot, but the ones that make your butt look amazing? Yeah, that’s you feeling good about yourself, where you feel sexy, where you feel like where you have this positive self image, where you can look at yourself in the mirror and like what you see.
What do you see when you look at yourself in the mirror today? Are you seeing just flaws and wrinkles and sagging skin and all the stuff that you hate about yourself? When you look in the mirror and you like what you see this is a good sign that you’re at your natural weight, where you feel good about your whole self.
And this is not necessarily a number on the scale. If you’ve like been listening here, I haven’t really mentioned the number on the scale, or how much weight you should weigh or what you know that number should be for you. It’s more about how you feel about yourself. And it’s also where you feel comfortable maintaining your weight. When you can easily maintain your weight, with little effort, where it all just feels pretty easy and effortless. You’re getting there. You know, if you’re busting your ass every day at the gym and starving yourself just to maintain your weight. That’s not easy. That’s not effortless, that’s not sustainable. You know, that’s, that’s a struggle.
When you stop the struggling and you just feel good about yourself. This is when you’re at your natural weight. And honestly, only you will know, when you get there, it may not be the number you think it should be on that scale, it might be more might be less, like, let’s say you, your your ideal is like 140 pounds, you’re like you know, if I can just get to 140, I’m gonna feel great about myself.
But then you get to that number and you keep losing a little bit of weight. And maybe you get to 135 pretty easily and you kind of stay there great, that’s kind of your natural weight for you. Maybe this is easy and effortless for you. And you can maintain this boom, you’re there good.
So maybe you think you should be at 140. And you sort of hit a good place with yourself at 145, this feels good to you. You’re confident, you’re happy, you feel healthy. You love how you look in that bikini, boom, you’re at your natural weight, right? Only you will know when you get there. It’s like how you see yourself on the inside matches what you see on the outside, then you know you’re there.
And I’m guessing that you may have never thought of it this way before but your natural weight is a decision. It’s a decision that you get to make and only you can make this decision only you can decide what your natural weight is for you. You get to make the decision for yourself, not your wife, not your husband, not your personal trainer. Only you I want you to take ownership of this, I want you to take ownership of your weight, your health, your fitness, all of that.
I want you to be empowered to make your own decisions about what’s best for you because only you know what’s best for you. I don’t even know what’s best for you. When I’m working with clients we decide you know around where they should be. But we usually kind of target a range and then we see where they feel the best.
So even I can’t make this decision for you. It has to come from you. And this may sound weird, but like you can’t decide this today, what your natural weight is going to be. You’ll know it when you get there. Because it’s more about how you feel than anything else. It’s not about a number, you know.
So you might think, Oh, it’s 140. But then you’re like, I don’t feel good at 140. And you won’t know it until you get there. So the important thing is is to do the work to commit to the process. Commit to learning and growing and bettering yourself every single day. Commit to being disciplined about your nutrition, being disciplined about exercise, sticking to the plan no matter what. And you’ll get there and you’ll know it when you’re there.
Now one more thing I wanted to share. I want to make sure that you guys understand that this is not in contrast to body positivity. Body positivity means loving yourself exactly as you are right now. No matter what that weight is, the weight doesn’t matter. It means you don’t look in the mirror and criticize yourself. Doesn’t mean you’re disgusted with yourself or ashamed of who you are because you weigh a certain number of pounds, whatever.
It means taking a good long look at yourself in the mirror and loving every inch of who you are right now, this is what body positivity means. You have to love and accept yourself exactly as you are always.
And here’s the part a lot of people miss when it comes to this idea of body positivity. A lot of people think you can’t love yourself as you are and want to change it like it’s like these two things have to be mutually exclusive. And they’re not.
You can feel amazing about how you look right now and still want to lose some weight. If that’s what you want for yourself. You can love and accept yourself exactly as you are right now, and still want to change. They’re not mutually exclusive ideas. It’s not an either, or you can have both.
In fact, if your goal is to lose weight, you can’t do it by beating yourself up every day, you’re gonna have a much, much harder time losing weight. If you’re talking trash about yourself all the time, you can’t hate yourself thin.
And if you’re comfortable where you are right now. Awesome, do you, you don’t have to be skinny, you don’t have to be lean. I know this is the Running Lean podcast. But this is not a mandate, okay? You get to decide what feels good for you.
You know, I talk a lot about becoming a lean runner about losing weight. This message is for people who want that for themselves. I’m in no way saying that everyone has to lose weight. I’m in no way judging anybody for how much they weigh. It’s not about what I think. It’s about what you think about yourself.
The beautiful thing about being a human being is that you get to decide who you are, you get to decide what you do, you get to decide what you want for yourself. And only you can decide what your natural way should be not a BMI chart, not your husband, not your friends, not someone you follow on Instagram. Only you can decide what your natural weight is. And you’ll know when you get there.
This is what I want for you. I want you to show up every day, and do the work and love who you are in the mirror every day work to change if that’s what you want for yourself. And when you get to that place where you feel good and you feel confident, and you feel comfortable. And you’re rocking that bikini or that pair of jeans or whatever it is for you, whatever.
However you want to measure what your natural weight is for you and where you feel good about yourself. When you get there, you’re going to know it. And this is what I want for you. I just want you to to know when you get there. I want you to do the work to get there and love yourself through the whole process. Cool. Awesome.
That’s all I got for you today. Remember, October is strength and flexibility and injury prevention month over in the Running Lean coaching group. We’re going to be talking about building strength becoming more flexible, so we can stave off injuries. Runners get injured a lot. We want to make sure we avoid that.
Okay, so just go to runningleanpodcast.com/join. And I hope you’ll join us over in the Running Lean coaching group. That’s all I got for you today. Love you all keep on Running Lean. Talk to you soon.
If you’re a runner and you’ve been struggling to lose weight or you keep losing and gaining the same 10 pounds over and over again. Or you’re finally ready to get to your natural weight and stay there for good this time then I have something you will love. I’ve created a powerful new training just for you called running lean for life. You’ll learn exactly how to transform yourself into a lean fat-burning running machine. So you can run without bonking, lose weight without calorie counting and develop the habits required to make it last for life. To get this free training right now go to runningleanpodcast.com/leanforlife and start your transformation today.
As a weight loss coach for runners, I work with a lot of people whose main goal is to lose weight. As a runner, they may have put on a few dozen pounds over the years and no matter how many more …
My name is Patrick McGilvray, and I’m an experienced marathoner, ultra runner, Sports Nutritionist, Master Life Coach, and weight loss coach for runners. I’ve dedicated my life to helping runners just like you properly fuel your body and your mind. So you can get leaner, get stronger, run faster and run longer than you ever thought possible. This is Running Lean.
Hey there, and welcome to episode 87 of Running Lean. My name is Patrick McGilvray, the weight loss coach for runners. And today, weight loss is not the goal. As a weight loss coach, I work with a lot of people whose main goal is to lose weight. So as runners people come to me because they’ve put on a few dozen pounds over the years.
And no matter how many more miles they put in, they just can’t seem to drop those pounds. They want to get back to their natural weight. So they come to me for help reaching that goal. And this all makes perfect sense, right. But once we start working together, I let them in on a little secret. Weight loss is not actually the goal.
What I know, there’s something much bigger at play here, there’s something much more important, a much more important goal that you should be focused on. So in this episode of the podcast, I explained why weight loss is not the goal. And the one thing that you should be focused on instead.
But first, if you like this podcast, you have to come check out the Running Lean podcast community on Facebook. This group goes hand in hand with the podcast, it extends the conversation it gives you a voice. You can ask questions and get answers. You’ll find positivity and encouragement support from a group of like minded people just search for Running Lean community on Facebook, and come and join in all the fun.
And here’s another five star review of the Running Lean podcast. This one’s from Lori Lori says, “A regular dose of encouragement, motivation to eat healthy and be active can easily wane. And this podcast brings all of my goals back into focus for the rest of the week. Each episode leaves me with something to ponder.”
Well, thank you so much for an awesome review, Laurie, and if you want to leave a review, I would so appreciate it, you can share the love. Just scroll down on your podcast listening device. Apple podcasts, tap the stars write a few words.
And right now you can even submit your review on a rate and review post little contest that we’re doing over in the Facebook group. So all you have to do is tap the stars, write a few words, take a screenshot of your review, and then comment on the rate and review post in our Facebook group.
And at the end of the month at the end of August. I’m going to pick one of those reviews and one lucky winner will get free coaching with me. How cool is that? So just go to Apple podcast, tap the stars write a few words, take a screenshot, boom, paste it in the group, you’re done. Okay. And there’s instructions on how to do all that pinned to that post in the group.
And then people ask how can they how can they work with me people come to me they’re like, Patrick, I want to work with you. What do I do? Well, there’s two things, two ways you can work with me number one, the Running Lean coaching group. So all during the month of September. So starting next week, next week is September already you guys by the way.
But next week starting into September, we’re going to be doing the four weeks to fat adapted. And this is going to be the focus for our whole month is fat adapted running, becoming a fat adapted runner, exactly how to do it step by step, which foods to eat, which to avoid the kinds of carbs you should be focusing on the kinds of carbs you should definitely stay away from how to get through that tough transition period without losing your mind.
Basically, I want to teach you step by step how to become the lean, fat burning running machine that you want to be and you’re going to learn the mindset that’s required to make it last for life. So join the group. That’s one way to work with me and just go to runningleanpodcast.com/join and you can sign up now and get started.
The other way to work with me is to hire me as your coach you and I can work one on one together and I will show you exactly how to become the healthiest, most badass version of yourself. We’ll put together you know custom plans just specifically just for you. You get one on one coaching with me every week.
And something that you may not know is that when you sign up for one on one coaching with me you also get membership in the Running Lean coaching group. So it’s kind of a two for one So if you want to apply for a one on one coaching, just go to runningleanpodcast.com/apply. That’s it, you want to join the group, just go to Running Lean podcast, comm forward slash join, and for one on one coaching with me runningleanpodcast/com/apply, okay?
Got all that out of the way, let’s talk about weight loss not being the goal, what I know, it’s so funny. I am a weight loss coach. And I’m telling you weight loss is not the goal. And you’re probably like what is happening here. But people come to me all the time, and they want to lose weight, right.
So they have this goal, they want to lose 30 pounds by November 1, you know, they want to run a marathon, they want to be healthy, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, right. So we put together a plan, they start making changes to their diet, they might change up their running program, they might start doing some weight training, which I highly recommend, by the way.
They start working it things going well, for a while, maybe they, they they’re losing some weight, they’re feeling good about themselves, and then maybe they hit a stall, their weights kind of stalled. This pretty much always happens by the way, okay. And then they get frustrated because their number on that scale is no longer moving the way it was before, their weight loss has become slow or stalled.
And this frustration they feel causes them to act out. And they start eating their feelings and maybe they start gaining more weight, and they become even more frustrated, they start eating their feelings even more. And you understand the cycle here, right, this is not a good place to be. Something else that always happens almost always happens is the stall kind of comes to an end if you just kind of keep going.
And they start losing weight again, but sometimes it takes a few weeks or whatever, okay, but here’s what I’m trying to get to with all this losing weight, it’s not a linear process, you don’t lose, you know, half a pound every day or whatever, yeah, it just does not work that way, it goes up, your weights gonna go up, it’s gonna go down, it’s gonna go up, it’s gonna go down. Obviously, we want to trending in the right direction.
But when you become obsessed with that number on the scale, that obsession will drive you crazy. And if you want to learn more about this whole scale drama stuff, listen to episode number 66 of this podcast eliminating scale drama. And I go into a lot of detail about this. Okay, so I want you to, to do that. If you haven’t listened to that, it’s, it’s really good because it tells you about my feelings on on the scale, what it means how often you should weigh yourself and all that other stuff. Okay.
But here’s the thing, if all you’re focused on is your weight, how many pounds your body weighs? You’re kind of missing the point. And the big secret is that, listen, weight loss is really not the goal. Getting to some arbitrary number on the scale is not what you should be after fitting into those jeans you rock 10 years ago is not your only objective. Although that’s pretty awesome. If you could do that.
So what are we talking about here? What’s the real goal, Patrick? Well, here it is, the real goal is to become the healthiest version of yourself losing weight, you know, getting back to your natural weight, whatever that is for you. That’s a side effect of becoming healthy. It’s secondary.
But most people have this backward. They think that, you know, they need to lose weight to get healthy. But it’s the other way around, you become healthy, and then the weight comes off. You stopped putting a bunch of crap into your body and your body responds, inflammation disappears, your hormones get back in line, blood sugar and insulin levels become normal, you start feeling better, you’re not hungry all the time, you start sleeping better, you no longer feel stressed out about everything, you’re you have tons of energy running becomes easier, your cravings for sugar go away.
And you seem to be able to think more clearly all of these changes in your body start happening. And then as a result of all these good changes happening in your body becoming healthier, then you start burning fat like crazy, then the weight starts to drop off. Alright.
And remember, we store body fat when we have when we’re taking in all this extra energy usually in the form of sugar in our body can only use so much of that energy and the rest of it gets stored away to be used later. But later never comes where we’re always storing fat. We’re really good at storing fat, we’re just not really good at burning the fat, okay?
So, we’re really good at storing and storing and storing fat. We want to be good at burning and burning the fat, right but all these other things have to happen in order for you get your body into that fat burning mode in order for the weight to start coming off. Okay, so you get your body healthy first and then you start losing the weight making sense. So it’s less about the number on the scale. And it’s more about becoming the healthiest human being possible.
So I’ve said this before, and I want to go on to explain this a little bit more your health, it’s not a destination, it’s not some, there’s no finish line, it’s not some place you’re trying to get to. It’s a way of life. Health, your health is not a destination, it’s a way of life. You will always need to be mindful of what foods you’re putting into your body. You know, just because you hit your goal weight, doesn’t mean you’re done. You got to keep eating healthy foods forever.
People ask me all the time, okay, so I’ve been eating great. I’ve lost almost all my weight. So I’m almost at my goal weight. Now, when I get to my goal weight, what do I do differently? And the answer is basically, nothing like you pretty much keep doing the same thing. If you’re eating healthy today, why would you stop eating healthy when you get to some number on the scale?
You know, what got you here is what’s going to keep you hear eating real food, healthy, nutrient dense food that does not cause you to gain weight. That’s what you want to keep doing. Why would you want to go back to doing something that that got you unhealthy and overweight in the first place?
You know, you’re always going to need to do some sort of resistance training, some sort of strength training in order to maintain your muscle mass, especially as you get older. Interestingly, a major cause of injury and death in older people is falling down. And here’s a quote from this is crazy. It’s from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. In this week’s Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report. There’s a report for you.
Oh, yeah, it’s the Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report. There’s some cheerful reading right there. But anyway, here’s what they say every second of every day in the United States, an older adult falls down, making falls the number one cause of injuries and deaths from injury among older Americans.
In 2014 alone, older Americans experienced 29 million falls, causing 7 million injuries and costing an estimated $31 billion in annual Medicare costs. This is crazy. And really, the the reason these people are falling down is because they just keep losing their muscle mass is called sarcopenia.
And as you get older, most people, they lose their muscle mass and they become weaker and weaker and weaker, and they can’t even stand up anymore. And when they fall, they break a hip, then they become bedridden, and then leads to escalated death to a faster death. We don’t want that.
Okay, so we want to continue to stay strong. Not only do we have to be mindful of our food intake, as we, you know, as we keep going through our life, we want to always eat healthy, we always want to be doing some sort of resistance resistance training so that we stay strong, right, we don’t stop because we get to some goal weight, or because we hit some sort of body fat percentage, or whatever we keep going right.
You’re always going to have to, you know, stay with some sort of cardiovascular exercise to you’re always going to want to walk or run or do some swimming or whatever it is that you like to do. You know, you don’t stop running just because you lost 30 pounds, you keep running because running is good for you. It’s good for for your physical, mental and emotional health.
When you run, you know, you release endorphins and serotonin, these are chemicals in your brain that actually improve your mood. So running regularly, improves your mental health. Running also improves your memory and your ability to learn. So running helps you to reduce stress, reduce depression, reduce anxiety, and I don’t know about you, but I want to continue to keep running and to have all these good things in my life.
I want to continue to feel good. I want to continue to improve my mental and emotional health. These are some of the many many reasons why I love running so much. Right? Running just feels good, right? So these are things that we want to just continue doing. We want to continue eating right, doing some sort of strength training and continue doing some sort of exercise in you just have to accept that becoming healthy and and living a healthy life that this is just your new way of life.
And until you accept this fundamental truth, you’re going to be kind of unhappy and frustrated. Because if you’re expecting to like lose 30 pounds by a certain date and you don’t hit that goal, then you know, it doesn’t really matter. If you’re committed to this as a way of life, it doesn’t matter. When you’re committed to the process of becoming healthier as a way of life, it doesn’t matter how long it takes, you’re just you’re all in and you’re good to go.
Right, you have to commit to this to becoming healthy, as a as a lifestyle, it’s a full time gig, it has to become just a part of who you are and what you do, you have to be all in forever. And this is not bad news. When you when you’re committed to this for life, it actually, it’s a good news, it gives you an opportunity to learn a lot about yourself.
So the longer you stick to something like this, like being healthy. The more you learn about yourself, like the more you grow internally, because as you know, the way you learn and the way you grow is you have to face and overcome challenges. And all kinds of challenging stuff will come up for you I promise, the longer you are committed to eating healthy, for example, the longer emotional and mental and emotional things are going to come up for you people are going to judge you, people are going to say things to you, you’re going to feel like you’re missing out on something, you’re going to feel sorry for yourself, you’re going to get frustrated, you’re going to get angry, you’re going to want to quit, you’re going to feel like a failure, all these things are going to come up for you.
When you embark on an epic journey like becoming, you know, a healthy person for the rest of your life, like this stuff is all going to come up for you. But again, this is not bad news, this is the good news. Because when these things come up, then you can deal with them. You can learn how to navigate these things, you can learn how to overcome all of these challenges. And when you do that, then you become a mental and emotional badass, it’s totally worth it. It’s totally worth it to to face all of these challenges, okay?
So it’s not so much about the goal. It’s about who you become in the process of going for the goal. And I love goals. I love big impossible goals, especially, you know, if there’s something that seems impossible for you right now, like for some of you, it may be like running a marathon, like that’s something you want to do. But it seems impossible for you, or losing 50 pounds or 100 pounds, it may seem impossible for you right now.
But here’s the thing, it’s impossible for you now, because who you are today, can’t do that. Who you are today, you’re not the person that can achieve that goal today. But here’s the cool thing. When you set out to achieve an impossible goal like that, you become a different person in the process of going after it. You change. You learn new things, you develop new habits you grow, and you become more. And honestly, this is the real goal.
The real goal is to always become more and I talk about this a lot I talk about becoming more I want to explain what I mean by that. What is more, and how will you know when you get there. This is exactly what I’m talking about here in regards to losing weight. The goal is not a number, but a way of life. Right? So becoming more, at least for me, it means I’m always learning. I’m always growing, I’m growing mentally, I’m growing emotionally, I’m always becoming stronger.
My body is becoming stronger, my muscles are becoming stronger and bigger. My mind is becoming stronger. I’m always becoming more of me and becoming more of who I am. And becoming more of who I am authentically and becoming more of myself. And this seems pretty basic, right? Just be yourself. People say be yourself. But it’s kind of harder to do then than it sounds on the surface. Like what does it mean to be yourself?
So for me becoming more of myself, it means really not giving a rip what other people think of me. Becoming more of myself means not judging myself, and not judging others. Not comparing myself to others. Not being afraid to feel any emotion. Not beating myself up when I fail to reach a goal. Becoming more for me, it’s a life long suit. It’s a lifelong pursuit of trying to answer this question. Who the hell are you? And here’s the thing, this pursuit it never ends.
Just like becoming healthy is not a destination but a way of life. It’s the same with just becoming more in general. It’s not a destination. It’s always a moving target. And that’s okay. See, for me, I’m committed to learning and growing every single day for the rest of my life, when I stopped learning and growing and becoming more, that’s when I’m just gonna die. Okay?
And I don’t want you to think of this as being overwhelming because when we start thinking about things forever, like, geez, Patrick, I had to do this forever. Does that mean like, I can never eat a piece of cake ever again? Does that mean I could never ever take a break from running again. And of course, it doesn’t mean that at all. Just don’t get caught up in the forever part of this. Just do what you can today.
There’s a saying in 12 Step programs, one day at a time, just take it one day at a time. It’s not a forever deal. I love this little concept. It’s it’s so simple, but so powerful one day at a time, just focus on today. What real food will I eat today? What strength exercise am I doing today? How far am I running today? Don’t worry about tomorrow, worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. Today is about today. Okay, one day at a time. Don’t get too caught up in this forever thing.
But just know that there isn’t a goal, there isn’t a finish line, there isn’t a destination we’re trying to get to hear. Okay. The bottom line here is that your health is on going something that you have to be committed to for the long haul. And that’s good. This is good. If you’re committed to this for life, then you know that you’re going to be so much happier because this is just who you are and what you do.
But if you’re not committed to it for life, if you’re like, Well, I’m just going to get healthy, I’m going to get healthy. When I reach some number on the scale that I’m going to stop, then I’m promise you, you’re going to come to a place where you begin to become unhealthy, you begin to become overweight, you might begin to become sick. And then you’re going to have to like do it again. Does this sound familiar?
So many people do this, they call it the yo yo dieting, you know they they get healthy, then they get unhealthy. You know, they they lose weight, then they gain it back again. And this is a never ending cycle for some people. I don’t want that. I’ve done that before. I’ve gained and lost weight many times. And the last time I lost, you know, I started to gain weight again, and I lost about 40 pounds. I was like, this is the last time I’m doing this.
And so far, it’s been amazing. I don’t have to worry about anymore because I’m committed. This is who I am now. This is who I am. This is what I do. I would say just stay committed to your health and your fitness. You don’t have to worry about that happening. Okay. So I prefer to just stay committed, because this is what I do now.
And in my past, I used to be a wreck, I was overweight, I was sick, I was unhealthy. I smoked a pack of cigarettes every day, I drank 8-12 beers every single day, I couldn’t run to the end of a block if I tried. This wasn’t that long ago, this is like 20 years ago, like 2003. And I made that decision almost 20 years ago that I was never going to live my life that way again.
And of course, there’s been ups and downs during that process. And I you know, got healthy and got unhealthy again and all that. But here’s the thing, I wanted to be around for my two boys. I wanted to see them grow up and become men. Now my oldest son, Jack, he’s married and hee has a one year old. Oh my god, cutest little grandbaby in the world.
And you think I want to quit what I’m doing now? Hell no, I want to be around for a long time. I want to keep becoming more I want to see my kids become more. I want to see my grandkids grow up and become more.
And I want that for you to I want to see you become more. And I truly hope that that’s what you want for yourself as well. So let’s not focus on the number on the scale. Let’s focus on becoming the best and most badass version of ourselves. We owe that to ourselves. All right.
Well, that’s all I got for you today. Remember September is fat adaptation month over in the Running Lean coaching group four weeks to fat adapted. learn exactly how to become a lean fat burning running machine become the healthiest version of yourself yet and learn the mindset you need to make it last. Just go to runningleanpodcast.com/join. I really hope you got something out of this episode today. And if you did, please consider sharing it with a friend I love you all keep on Running Lean. Talk to you soon.
If you’re a runner and you’ve been struggling to lose weight or you keep losing and gaining the same 10 pounds over and over again. Or you’re finally ready to get to your natural weight and stay there for good this time then I have something you will love. I’ve created a powerful new training just for you called running lean for life. You’ll learn exactly how to transform yourself into a lean fat-burning running machine. So you can run without bonking, lose weight without calorie counting and develop the habits required to make it last for life. To get this free training right now go to runningleanpodcast.com/leanforlife and start your transformation today.
If you really want to create change in your life, you have to focus on changing your habits, right? I think we all get this concept, but most people don't really understand how habits actually …
Continue Reading about 85. Understanding How Habits Really Work →
My name is Patrick McGilvray, and I’m an experienced marathoner, ultra runner, Sports Nutritionist, Master Life Coach, and weight loss coach for runners. I’ve dedicated my life to helping runners just like you properly fuel your body and your mind. So you can get leaner, get stronger, run faster and run longer than you ever thought possible. This is Running Lean.
Well, hey there, and welcome to episode 85 of Running Lean. My name is Patrick McGilvray, the weight loss coach for runners and today we’re talking about understanding how habits really work. If you really want to create change in your life in any area of your life, you really have to focus on changing your habits, right, I think we all get this concept.
But most people don’t really understand how habits actually work. Most people just focus on trying to change the behavior, the actual actions that they are taking, they don’t focus on the things that are driving the behavior in the first place.
So in order to change a habit, you first have to understand how the habit is created in the first place, you have to go deeper and get into the root cause of the habit. So today on the podcast, I take you on a deep dive into understanding how habits really work. So you can create the change that you want in your life and make those changes last.
But first, if you like this podcast, please come check out the Running Lean community on Facebook. This is a group that goes hand in hand with the podcast, I extend the conversation from here, over there, you get to ask questions, you have a voice, you can feel supported, encouraged, inspired by other runners and people that are sharing similar goals to you. And it’s fun to if I haven’t mentioned that already. The Facebook Group is a lot of fun, we do kind of have a lot of fun over there. So definitely just check out the Running Lean community on Facebook, and join us it’d be super awesome to have you there.
Here’s another five star review of the Running Lean podcast. This is from Laurie from Alaska. And she says, “So much to learn. So many great tips, I learned something new on every run, because that’s when I listen to your podcast. I’ve learned how to think differently. Thank you for being such a positive influence on so many.”
Thank you so much Laurie from Alaska, I appreciate those kind words. And listen, if you want to share the love, you can also just go to iTunes, Apple podcasts, whatever you call that wherever you listen to your podcast, scroll down, tap the stars leave a few words, I would really appreciate it.
And just so you know, for the month of August, if you are part of the Running Lean community, you can leave a review on Apple podcasts just like I described, take a screenshot of it, drop that screenshot in a post. And at the end of the month, I’m going to randomly select somebody from these posts, people that have reviewed the podcast and and you’ll you’ll earn a free, you know, coaching session with me. So it’s just a fun way for me to say thank you for supporting the show. Okay.
And also the Running Lean coaching group is open. All month long, we’re talking about thoughts, feelings and actions, and how these patterns show up in our life. We’re gonna be talking a lot about this in this podcast today. So you’ll get a feel for kind of what we’re going to be covering in the group this month.
But you know, this this topic of the month is, is vital. It’s the foundation for creating any kind of change whether you’re trying to become a better runner, or become healthier or lose weight or whatever your goals are. You have to understand how your thoughts, feelings and actions all tie together to help you create the life that you want for yourself.
As a member in the coaching group, you also get access to the weight loss training course for runners, my course called achieving the impossible which is about creating an extraordinary life by going after unrealistic goals. You get weekly live coaching with me. I just created something new, which I think is pretty awesome.
It’s a private podcast. So it’s not this podcast, but it’s a whole different podcast with all the replays of our group coaching calls, so you don’t have to necessarily show up to the live group zoom call although that is super fun to do. You can listen to the private podcast stream on your runs and stuff like that. So super fun. Come join us over in the Running Lean coaching group. For more information just go to runningleanpodcast.com/join Okay, cool.
Let’s talk about this, understanding how habits really work. First of all, what is a habit? So a habit is a learned behavior. Habits just don’t occur spontaneously, right habits are something that we have been practicing and learning over time. Habits tend to occur unconsciously though.
So habits are something that you’ve been practicing so much that you can do it without much consciousness or without a whole lot of conscious thought. So some types of habits that would fit this would be stuff like tying your shoes, right, you don’t have to think about you just do it. Driving a car, driving the car is something you had to learn how to do. And at first, it took a lot of effort, a lot of conscious thought. But now you can do it pretty much without thinking at all. Sometimes you’re driving and you’re like, how did I even get here, you sort of like zoned out? Have you ever had that happen to you?
Or something like taking a shower, like, you know, we do these things just completely automatically, we don’t even have to think about it. It’s super unconscious behavior, right. Some other types of habits and things that kind of relate to what we’re talking about here today would be like getting up early to work out every day, that would be habit that you do, just unconsciously, you just kind of do it.
Sticking to your marathon training schedule, like you’re gonna show up and do your runs, every day, no matter what that can be something that has to develop into a habit. Or it could be something like, you know, eating sweets late at night, could be a habit that you have that maybe you don’t want that habit, you know, or snacking all day long eating junk food, like some of these habits, you know, like sticking to your training schedule might be fine. And something that you want for yourself.
Others habits like eating junk food might be a habit that you want to change, or just drop all together. Either way, the key to to all of this. And the key to changing a habit is to understand how the habit really works. And the problem is that most people attack habit change, just by focusing on the behavior, just by focusing on the physical action that you are taking.
So if your issue is you know, you’re snacking too much or snacking all day long, they’ll just say, well just stop doing that. Stop eating snacks. Or if the habit is like you, you don’t seem to get up every day on time, or you know, you’re not, you want to hit the gym early, but you just can’t get out of bed.
People will say well just get up early every day, set your alarm get up early. Or, you know, if your habit is eating junk food, those don’t drive past the fast food places, or just don’t eat junk food. And if this was this simple, this would be amazing. But it’s not changing the behavior, changing an action. And then the goal for the what most people would tell you is just like just change the action. And then just keep doing that until that becomes a new habit.
Have you heard this before? Like just change the action? And then just keep doing it? Does this work? Maybe maybe for some people, for most people? No, it does not. And honestly, if it was this easy, I wouldn’t be talking about all this today. I just tell you to stop doing whatever it is you’re you’re doing or tell you to start doing whatever it is you want to start doing and boom, we’re done. I don’t have to have this conversation with you here today.
But it’s not that simple. A habit is a learned behavior that you’ve been practicing, until it’s pretty much an unconscious thing. Right? So you have to understand what’s beneath the action, you have to understand what’s driving the behavior. You have to go deeper you have to understand why you do what you do. You have to have to understand how the thought feeling action pattern has become unconscious for you.
So habit is always a thought a feeling. And then an action is a pattern that you’ve been practicing over and over until it becomes automatic. It may feel like there’s no conscious thought happening. It may seem like everything is happening instantaneously. But I assure you, there’s always a thought and a feeling that precedes every action that you take. Even if it seems like it all happens in an instant.
There are always choices and decisions that are being made by you. Even if it seems like you’re running on autopilot. And if habits are learned patterns of behavior, then it stands to reason that they can be on learned. Right so you can unlearn an unwanted behavior, right you can replace the old unwanted behavior with a new one. But if we only focus on the action, the actual behavior itself, you’re not going to get there, or it’s going to be a lot harder for you.
So habit is really the whole thought feeling action pattern that you’ve gotten so good at doing, you’ve been practicing this over and over and over again, it’s like, you know, eating sweets late at night, you just keep doing it every day until it just becomes like something your brain expects. And there’s a thought and a feeling that precedes the action. But it all happens in a split second, and you just find yourself eating ice cream at you know, 10:30 at night. And so you have to understand that your thoughts and your feelings are the real drivers of your actions, your thoughts and feelings are the real drivers of your choices of your decision making. And whether you are consciously aware of this or not, this is what’s happening.
So habits are not reflexive, they’re not reflexes that are just happening like, like a knee jerk, you know, reaction. So I hear people tell me all the time, like, you know, I was doing fine. The next thing you know, I’m stuffing a Cinnabon into my face. And I have no idea how this just happened.
So we tend to make our habits out to be reflexive, like things that we don’t have control over, we tend to say, Oh, this is beyond my control. And I think one of the reasons why we do this is because when we say we don’t have control over it is because then we are not to blame. But listen, our habits are not reflexive, we are in control, they don’t just happen spontaneously. They don’t bypass your brain, they don’t bypass the thought feeling action process.
But it’s easiest to think of habits as reflexive, like, you know, when the doctor hits your knee with that little hammer thing, the doctor hits your patellar tendon with that little, you know, rubber hammer. And what happens in that moment is a signal is sent from your knee to your spinal column.
And immediately that signal is sent to a motor nerve in your quadriceps, and that extends your leg forward. This is called the knee jerk reaction. And it’s a motor reflex, it bypasses your brain completely, it’s actually called the patellar tendon reflex. And it bypasses your thinking your consciousness your brain totally, it goes from your knee to your spinal column to your leg muscle. That’s it. That’s a reflex.
But that is not how habits work. Habits are not reflexive, they don’t bypass the brain, okay, habits are processed by your brain very quickly. Because you’ve just gotten really good at doing this. You have a thought you have a feeling and then you take action. And it seems it’s so fast that it seems automatic. But it’s just why well formed habits, well practiced habits seem unconscious, but your brain is still involved.
This is good news, your your brain is still involved. The good news is that this is still your fault, okay. It’s still something that you have control over. And that’s good news to me, like I would rather have control over what I’m doing. Because if I feel like I’m out of control, I have no say in the matter, I have no authority over myself, right. And I don’t want that.
I don’t want to feel like I’m being you know, manipulated or controlled by some outside force. So if I know that this is within my control, this is good news. This brings the power back to me. So your brain is still doing the work has just gotten really efficient because you’ve been practicing it so much like eating the snacks, you know, late at night, or taking a shower like you take a shower, you don’t even have to think about it, you just do it right.
And sidebar here. This is why so many great ideas come to us in the shower. Because the activity that we’re engaged in, is using it doesn’t use your conscious mind. It uses your subconscious mind. So the activity of taking a shower is a subconscious activity. This is a really good example of how this works. So the conscious mind is free to think, to dream to think more creatively and this is why we get good ideas in the shower. Because our conscious mind is free and open.
Okay, so anyway, that’s a little sidebar. So the key to all of this is to understand that your thoughts and feelings drive your behavior and this is what creates the habit is the thought the feeling and the behavior all combined. and it’s just something you practice. You’ve been practicing these habits for a long, long time.
And then you might be thinking, okay, I get this, Patrick, it’s the thoughts and feelings. But where are these thoughts and feelings coming from? Like, how are those created? Well, thoughts are just sentences in your mind. They’re just things you say to yourself, or little sentences, you say to yourself, they are the stories that you tell yourself about what’s happening around you.
You know, you might be taking a walk through the park, and you see a squirrel and you see a tree, and you see a fountain, and you see a lake and you see a deer. And you’re telling yourself how wonderful all of this is. These are just thoughts, you know, they’re just stories, you’re telling yourself about what’s going on, around you.
So your thoughts are just your interpretations of your circumstances, your thoughts are the meaning that you give to every situation in your life. And your thoughts are determined by how you see the world around you. So your thoughts are heavily influenced by your past experiences by your beliefs, your upbringing, your culture, your family of origin, your education, the type of career you’re in, and on and on, like, this is what we call our model of the world.
And everyone has their own unique model of the world. So your model of the world is unique to you. It’s how you interpret the world around you. And I would argue that there is no one reality that we each have our own version of reality in our minds, because everything is up to interpretation by your brain. And your brain is going to interpret things very different from my brain.
This is kind of cool, because that means that like, we all have an opinion. And we all have a different interpretation of every situation. I think this is pretty cool. And so here’s an example of how the model of the world can influence your thoughts and feelings. And I’ve probably used this example before, but I love it. It’s so good.
So imagine two guys standing on the beach, and they’re both looking out over the ocean. And each of these people has a different view of the ocean. They have different thoughts and feelings about the ocean. One guy has been a fan of the ocean ever since he was a little kid. He used to surf every day. You know, as a kid, he grew up near the beach. And for decades, he’s been an avid surfer, and he just loves the ocean. To him the ocean is a zen like experience. It’s his happy place. It brings him joy. He can’t imagine not getting into the ocean and surfing every single day. Okay. He loves the ocean, loves loves loves it. He feels a sense of peace and joy when he’s standing on the beach looking at the ocean.
Guy number two standing right next to him looking over at the same ocean. Maybe he had a near drowning experience as a child. For him the ocean is a very scary place. For him the ocean is full of danger, and fear. And for him, he wants to avoid the ocean at all costs. He can’t imagine stepping foot in the ocean, okay.
These two people are experiencing the same ocean the same, quote unquote reality but their view of it is completely different based on their model of the world. Their model of the world affects their thoughts and feelings and actions. And different habits will emerge out of those thought feelings and action patterns.
Okay, so one guy’s become an avid surfer. He has a habit of surfing every day, no matter what loves it. The other guy has a habit of never going anywhere near the ocean won’t get on a boat won’t go on a cruise hates going to the beach would never dream of setting foot in the ocean. Right? So two different people, same circumstances, but different models of the world. Different thoughts, feelings and actions, different habits, different results.
So what does all this mean? This this is not to say that we cannot change that. Once you’ve experienced something like trauma or you know, or you’re sort of you’ve got a well established habit that you can’t change it, you absolutely can change it. You can change anything you want about yourself. The point of talking about all this is so that you understand what’s driving the behavior. It’s always your thoughts and feelings. Okay?
And all month long over in the Running Lean coaching group, we are taking a deep dive into this work all month long, we’re focusing on our thoughts, feelings and actions and these patterns, how they show up in our life and how they are creating the results that we’re getting or not getting in every area of our life.
You know, we’ve got people that are trying to change their diet and lose some weight. And they have to understand how their thoughts and feelings are driving their actions of sticking to their plan or not. We’ve got people who want to, you know, qualify for Boston. And their thoughts and feelings are either driving the actions of like making them, you’re keeping them dedicated and disciplined and running faster or not.
And each week, we’re focusing on one topic. So last week, it was our thoughts this week was our feelings next week is going to be all about actions, the and then we’re going to be talking about how to start to change these things and how to start creating the thoughts and feelings that we actually want, so that we can change our results.
And each week, we’ve got a little bit homework to do. So we’re creating a bunch of self awareness around our thoughts and feelings and habits. And then later this month, we’re going to talk about changing them and creating new habits. So if you haven’t checked it out, come over and check out the Running Lean coaching group. It’s super fun, and we’re taking just such a deep dive into this particular topic. Because I really believe this is the foundation of creating any kind of change that you want for yourself, okay.
But the first and most important step is understanding how all of this works. And understanding how your brain works, you know, you got to understand that your brain is is amazing. It’s like one of the most amazing things in the known universe, if not, the most people think it’s the most powerful thing in the known universe, the human brain, nothing is compares to the human brain, what we can do with it, right.
And you have to understand that you are always in control, even though it doesn’t seem like it. Understand that you have authority over your choices, and over your decisions, these things are not just happening to you, okay, you’ve just sort of lost touch with this part of your brain, you’ve gotten into a habit. And you’ve done you started to do something unconsciously and automatic, you’ve been on autopilot. And that’s okay. You just understand how all this works. Understand that you’re just sort of going through the motions now without a whole lot of conscious thought.
So the first step is to bring all of this back into your awareness back into your consciousness. So here’s a weird thing to think about. This is kind of random. I’m gonna bring it back, though. Okay, so I’m going to go off on a little tangent here. But listen, when you were growing up, did anyone ever teach you how to eat? Now? Of course, you’re like, well, yeah, of course, my parents taught me how to eat when I was like, one or whatever, right?
But no, I mean, like, how to eat healthy food, how to eat food that will nourish your body, how to obtain optimal health. Did your parents teach you about the effects of eating sugar and how you should stay away from junk food? Did they teach you how to moderate these things? Or avoid some of these things all together? Probably not. I don’t know. For most of us, that’s probably no.
If you are brought up that way, that is awesome. Your parents are awesome. Congratulations. For most of us, though. No, no, I grew up in the 60s in the 70s. I come from a pretty good sized family, five kids. And my mom was an amazing cook. And she always was had these home cooked meals. She loved cooking. It’s how she showed love to all of us. And, and I grew up, you know, with this idea that, you know, this is how we show love is but food.
And I also grew up thinking that food was entertainment. So Saturday mornings as a kid in the 70s. Like I would watch the cartoons. And there were all these ads, right for Count Chocula and Captain Crunch and sugar Frosted Flakes. And, of course, every time we went to the grocery store, I insisted that we get like one or all of those cereals and stuff, right?
So I was eating a lot of sugary cereals. I remember drinking a lot of sugary soft drinks, and we had dessert pretty much every night. And listen, I’m not blaming my mom or my parents, right. My parents are amazing. Amazing. People love them so much. And they always did their best. And I would say they did a damn fine job raising their five kids. We are all awesome kids, by the way. But this was my model of the world. For many years. For decades, really. my model of the world was driving my thoughts and feelings about food.
And so some of my thoughts and feelings were food is fun. Food is entertainment. Food is a reward. Food is how you show love, the more sugar the more love, more love. Like more sugar equals more love. And I used food in this way to feel good about myself for four decades, really, this was my model of the world, this would become my thought feeling action pattern.
This was my habit in trying to change this habit, you know, I tried all the diets in the world. And nothing ever really worked. Because I didn’t understand what was behind all this, I didn’t understand what was driving the habit, I was just trying to change the behavior, I was just trying to change the actions that I was taking.
And it wasn’t until I started to understand what was underneath the habit, what was underneath the behavior, the thoughts and feelings, that I could actually start to change things for myself. So I learned how I was using food as more like an emotional management tool, you know, I was using food to feel better, or to not have to feel anything at all.
So I was using food as a way to numb myself a lot of the time. So and have to deal with my thoughts and feelings, which are just too much for me, I’m a very emotional person, I feel my feelings, right. And so for years and years of doing this, you know, I I just was numbing myself as much as possible.
I used alcohol for the same reason, you know. And then eventually, I had to like, take a step back and understand what was driving all of this. And after years and years and years of doing this really decades, this all became, for me, an unconscious habit. And in order to break the habit, I had to develop a deep understanding of how the habit actually worked, how it was formed.
While I was thinking and feeling all this stuff, I was thinking and feeling what was driving the behavior. And all this stuff had to be brought out of my unconsciousness and into my consciousness out of the darkness and into the light. I had to just get really curious with myself and start asking myself, why am I thinking these things about food? Why am I thinking and feeling these feelings about food?
And what’s a different way of thinking and feeling about all of this. So if you can relate to any of this, I want you to know something that there’s nothing wrong with you. There’s nothing wrong with me, there was nothing wrong with me in that moment. This is just how our brains are wired, you know, our brains are we have this primitive part of our brain that just wants to keep us safe.
So we have a part of our brain, you know, it’s called the amygdala. It’s this like, very primitive, I call it the lizard brain, it’s always seeking pleasure and avoiding pain, seeking comfort, avoiding discomfort, seeking, the familiar avoiding anything unfamiliar. And, you know, it’s okay, this is just normal. And it’s okay, that we, that we, we have a brain like this, we just need to understand that there is another way to live our life, that if we want something different for ourselves, and we just have to understand what’s driving our behavior, it’s not automatic, it really isn’t.
And we have the capacity to override that primitive brain, we have the capacity to, you know, seek discomfort and seek the unfamiliar and get put ourselves out of our comfort zone and begin to change the habit. All these habits that we’ve developed over the years, they’re just learned behaviors, driven by thoughts and feelings that we’ve practiced over and over again, your work has to understand how all of this is formed, how it works, so you can begin to change things for yourself.
And once you’re armed with all of this self awareness, it’s like taking the red pill in the matrix like nothing will ever be the same for you. Once you see this and you understand it, you can’t unsee it. Or you can take the blue pill and remain contented and stuck where you are. But you seem more like a red pill kind of person to me. Alright, that’s all I got for you this week.
Be sure to join us over in the Running Lean coaching group for August remember we’re taking a deep dive into all of this thought feeling action patterns, how they show up how you can change them so you can start getting the results you want around weight loss running, health and fitness, all of that runningleanpodcast.com/join. And I truly hope that you got something out of this episode today. And if you did, please consider sharing it with a friend I love you all keep on Running Lean, and I’ll talk to you soon.
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