Running Lean with Patrick McGilvray
One nice thing about human beings is that no two of us are alike. And not just in how we look or where we live, but in how we see the world. We each have our own unique Model Of the World (MOW) …
Continue Reading about 143. Upgrading Your Model Of the World →
My name is Patrick McGilvray, and I’m an experienced marathoner, ultra runner, Sports Nutritionist, Master Life Coach, and weight loss coach for runners. I’ve dedicated my life to helping runners just like you properly fuel your body and your mind. So you can get leaner, get stronger, run faster, and run longer than you ever thought possible. This is Running Lean.
Hey there, and welcome to Episode 143, of Running Lean. My name is Patrick McGilvray, the weight loss coach for runners and today upgrading your model of the world. One nice thing about human beings is that no two of us are alike. And not just in how we look or where we live, but in how we each see the world.
We each have our own unique model of the world, based on our own past experiences, our beliefs, our values, and our individual upbringings. And your model, the world can either keep you stuck and frustrated, or help you to achieve everything that you want for yourself. So in this episode, I’m going to be taking a good look at how your unique model of the world can be harmful or helpful, and why you might want to consider upgrading your model of the world.
But first, a lot of people ask me about coaching and what it looks like. And it may not look the way you think that it does. So for me, from my perspective, coaching is not me creating a list of rules and then handing that list of rules to every single person that I work with.
Coaching is a relationship, it’s you and I working closely together to look at your goals, to look at your lifestyle, to look at the way that you want to achieve things in your life. And then putting together a plan that is unique to you. Just like we all have a unique model of the world, we each want to approach getting healthy, getting fit, getting stronger, losing weight, we all need to approach this in a slightly different way.
So I don’t have a cookie cutter program that just is the same for everybody that I work with. We’re all individuals and I want to celebrate that really. So with the way that I do coaching, which is different from a lot of other coaches. It is a unique relationship, it’s you and I working closely together to set goals for you to create a plan for you.
And then to help you stick to that plan. It’s really a collaboration, you have some say, in how we structure things, you have some agency here. Okay, this isn’t just me telling you what to do, there’s a little bit of me telling you what to do, but you have to be on board with what we’re doing. Because if you’re not, you’re not going to stick with it. Nobody wants to do something that they don’t want to do. Right.
So what I try to create with my coaching program is a collaborative approach where you get to have some say in how we structure things, okay? The main objective here is to create a plan and then help you stick to that plan. And if you want some help creating a plan, if you want some help sticking to that plan, coaching might be a great fit for you. To learn more, just go to runningleancoaching.com/apply to get started.
I would love to have you in my unique weight loss coaching program for runners, the Running Lean coaching project where the project is you just go to runningleancoaching.com/apply fill out a quick application, we’ll jump on a zoom call, see if there’s a good fit for you. Cool.
All right, let’s talk about upgrading your model of the world. So like I was saying at the top of the episode here, we humans are all very different. We each have our own ways of seeing things in the world. And this isn’t just about, you know, our upbringings. This isn’t just about our past experiences, there’s so many different factors that make up how we see the world. So we will see things differently based upon our past experiences and our upbringing and our cultures and where we grew up.
But also you got to look at the things that you have believed for your whole life, your belief systems, you got to look at your values. You have to look at the things that are important to you. All of these things paint a different picture of what reality looks like for you. So when I talk about how we all have our unique model of the world, really what I’m saying here is we each have our own view of reality.
And if you want to extrapolate this out a step further, you could say that, that reality is what you think it is. That there isn’t one reality that is the same for everyone. It’s kind of mind blowing, if you think about that, right. But it’s pretty true, because we each have a different way of interpreting what’s happening around us. And we each have a different way of approaching the circumstances in our life. That means we each have our own version of what’s real and what’s not.
So all these factors are our belief systems, the way we have thought our whole lives, the people around us, our schooling, our experiences, all make up our unique model of the world. And this is important, because your model of the world can affect you. in many different ways. It can affect how you get through life, it can affect how you get through relationships, it can affect how you achieve big things in your life or not.
And when I talk about making big changes in your life, let’s say you want to, you want to lose some weight. Let’s say you want to become a faster runner, these things take time, and they take effort, they take getting uncomfortable. And if your model of the world says, Hey, every time you try to do something like this, every time you’ve ever set out to lose weight you fail, losing weight is too hard. Losing weight is something you’ll never be able to do.
If you have believed that your whole life, then guess what your reality is, you will not be able to lose weight, your model of the world is your reality. And if your model of the world is keeping you stuck where you are, and affecting you negatively, and keeping you from taking action or keeping you from moving in the direction of your goals or what you really want for yourself, then you have to consider maybe changing that.
Now, if your model of the world is positive, and it is, is one of like determination, and if your model of the world is one of hey, I can achieve anything that I set my mind to, then guess what that becomes your reality. You might want to let go of your current model of the world if it is not serving you. Just because you believe this is the way things are. And you’ve always believed this is the way things are does not mean you have to hold on to that. I know it’s kind of a crazy concept, right?
What I’m talking about here is releasing your grip on reality, releasing your grip on your version of reality. And this is not something most people ever consider is even in the realm of possibilities. Most people are so ingrained and so dug into their own model of the world, they cannot see any other way of doing things.
They cannot see themselves ever becoming more than they are. They cannot see themselves ever achieving anything more than what they’ve already achieved in their life. And it keeps them from ever pushing themselves. It keeps them from ever taking any kind of action that would improve their health, their fitness, their relationships, their business, their careers. They are so stuck in where they are and who they are, they cannot see that there’s more available to them.
So what I’m asking you to do is release your grip on what you believe to be true. Release your grip on your own version of reality. Release your grip on your own model of the world. And this takes some work. This is not really a simple process or an easy process. It takes some work and some time but it starts with you challenging your beliefs and challenging the way that you see things.
And the way that you believe things are about yourself, about others, about society, about the world around you. But you don’t have to believe everything you think just because you think something just because you’ve believed something your whole life doesn’t mean you have to continue to believe that you can choose to believe something else instead.
For years and years, I believed that I could not quit drinking, for example, I believed that I was always going to drink alcohol. I mean, I drank alcohol every day for 25 years, or something like that – a long, long time. And I could not imagine going one day without drinking alcohol. I mean, I did it every now and then. But it was not fun. And it was hard. And I was thinking like, this is just, this is just who I am.
And then at one point in my life, I decided I wasn’t gonna do that anymore. I wasn’t gonna drink anymore. That was a huge mindset shift for me to go from being somebody who believed, firmly believed that drinking was just part of who I was. And it was always going to be that way to being a non drinker. What? I know, it’s crazy. That is completely the opposite of everything I believed about my model of the world at that point.
Everything I did, had alcohol involved, somehow, oh, we’re gonna go out to dinner gotta go somewhere where they serve alcohol, oh, we’re gonna go to this sporting event. No, I’m going to be drinking a lot. Oh, it’s, you know, I got to take the kids to, you know, football practice, well, better, you know, make sure I get some beers on the way home or whatever it was.
Oh, it’s Tuesday, well better stock up on alcohol. You know, it was always part of everything that I did. Not having alcohol was a wild concept for me. That broke my model of the world, I was like, does not compute. I had to release my grip on my version of reality, in order to make that shift for myself. And I had to do the same thing.
A few years back, when I made this big shift from being a, a plant based person, somebody who did not eat meat, I hadn’t eaten meat for 15 years, and I made a big shift, I decided that that was no longer what I believed to be the best thing for myself. My model of the world for the previous 15 years was, you know, meat is bad for you, you shouldn’t eat meat, it’s much healthier to not eat meat. And I was dug in with that belief about myself. And for me, it was the way I believed and the way I was eating. And there’s a lot more to this than just meat.
But you know, I was eating a lot of sugar, a lot of carbohydrates and things like that. But I had gained a lot of weight and I was feeling very unhealthy. And I decided to go back to more of an ancestral way of eating, which included eating meat, again, extremely different, extremely difficult to make this decision to start eating meat again, and change my diet. I’m really glad I did that though. I’ve gotten way healthier, I feel much better. I’ve changed my diet in a lot of ways. But this is just one way.
Okay, I’m not saying you know, eating meat is better than being vegetarian or vegan or anything like that. I’m not going to get into that discussion here. I’m just saying for me, this was a good choice for me to make for my body and my health and my fitness and I feel better now. But this was a big shift for me.
So my model of the world that I was holding on too tightly, even though I was gaining weight and gaining weight and gained like 40 pounds. My clothes didn’t fit anymore. I looked terrible. I hated the way I looked in the mirror. I was not letting go of that model of reality, that model of the world. But when I did when I made that shift when I made that change, it changed everything for me. I had to release my grip on reality, my version of reality, in order for me to become the person that I am today.
This doesn’t mean I’m done either, like I have other versions of myself that I want to become, we are always a work in progress, at least we always should be. And though those versions of myself that I see in the future that I am working towards, are different than who I am today, are different than who I’ve been up to this point. And those versions of me require me to release my grip on reality again, in other ways. And this is an ongoing process, and it’s okay, it’s okay that we do this.
But you have to challenge what you believe. You have to challenge the way you’ve been doing things, if you want to become more, you have to challenge your experiences in the past, because listening to your past does not determine your future. Just because you’ve always done something a certain way does not mean it has to continue.
Just because you’ve always had the same results from everything you’ve tried in the past does not mean you’re going to continue to get those same results, your past does not determine your future. Stop looking to the past and saying well see, this is why I can’t get where I want to in life because of what happened, you know, back in the day, stop doing that.
Release that idea, let go of those old ideas. Just because you’ve done something for decades, doesn’t mean you can’t change it, we can always change. And this idea of upgrading your model of the world of making these changes, letting go of the things that aren’t serving you anymore. Choosing new values, choosing new things you want to believe about yourself and the world around you. This is such a difficult process to go through.
This is uncomfortable, because it goes against everything that you believe to be true to this point. Right? It challenges everything you think you know, everything you currently hold to be true. Everything you’ve believed, maybe your whole life. But what I want you to do is I want you to decide, first of all, decide who it is that you want to become. And then you got to start working towards becoming that version of yourself. Okay?
And then look at what version of reality you’re holding on to right now. And is that version of reality that you’re holding on to helping you to become that future version of yourself? Or is it keeping you stuck where you are. The art of becoming more requires you to let go of who you think you are today. The art of becoming more requires you to release your grip on your current model of the world. That’s it, it really does.
You got to you know, you got to do more if you want to become more. And your work this week, is to look at different areas of your life. Look at your past experiences. Look at the things you think you believe. Look at the things that you think you know, look at the things you think you’re capable of. And challenge all of it, challenge all of it.
Your work is to challenge reality, your work is to challenge your current model of the world. And make some changes and upgrade that. If you want to become more, you ‘ve got to do more. If you want to become more, you’ve got to release your grip on your current model of the world and make some changes and start moving toward that direction of becoming more. Okay. That is your work this week. I hope you will do this. It is so worth it. That’s all I got for you today. Love you all keep on Running Lean. I’ll talk to you soon.
If you’re a runner and you’ve been struggling to lose weight or you keep losing and gaining the same 10 pounds over and over again. Or you’re finally ready to get to your natural weight and stay there for good this time then I have something you will love. I’ve created a powerful new training just for you called running lean for life. You’ll learn exactly how to transform yourself into a lean fat-burning running machine. So you can run without bonking, lose weight without calorie counting and develop the habits required to make it last for life. To get this free training right now go to runningleanpodcast.com/leanforlife and start your transformation today.
Have you ever found yourself wishing your life was somehow “better”, that there was some future version of yourself that was leaner, stronger, and healthier? Of course you have, we all think about …
Continue Reading about 113. Getting Out of the Gap and Into the Gain →
My name is Patrick McGilvray, and I’m an experienced marathoner, ultra runner, Sports Nutritionist, Master Life Coach, and weight loss coach for runners. I’ve dedicated my life to helping runners just like you properly fuel your body and your mind. So you can get leaner, get stronger, run faster, and run longer than you ever thought possible. This is Running Lean.
Hey there, and welcome to Episode 113, of Running Lean. My name is Patrick McGilvray, the weight loss coach for runners, and today getting out of the gap and into the gain. Have you ever found yourself wishing that your life was somehow better, that maybe there was some future version of yourself that was leaner, stronger, and healthier? Of course, you have. We all think about stuff like this, I teach you to think about stuff like this, there’s nothing inherently wrong with doing this.
The problem is when you’re so focused on what you don’t have, that it completely consumed you. When you’re obsessed about where you’re not, that’s when things begin to break down for you. So today I’m talking about the difference between being in the gap. And being in the gain.
When you’re in the gap, you only see the negative, you never feel like you measure up, you never feel like you’re making progress towards your goals. In fact, making any progress toward your goals feels virtually impossible.
There’s a better way to do this, there’s a better way to think about all of this, and it’s called being in the gain. When you’re in the gain, you’re focused on the positive, you feel more energized, you feel more motivated, and you begin to make significant progress.
I’m going to talk all about this today, I’m going to break down why getting out of the gap and getting into the gain is so important for your long-term health and fitness goals. Cool. This is exciting. I’m excited about this one.
But first, if you’re ready to do this inner work, you know, this stuff that I talked about here, like getting out of the gap and into the gain, this is the inner work, you got to shift your mindset. If you want to become that healthy, badass version of yourself, right?
You have to take action, that action involves doing a lot of this inner work, your outer results are just a reflection of whether or not you’re doing the inner work, okay? The mistake most people make is that they focus on the outer stuff, tell me what to eat, Patrick, just tell me how many times I should lift weights each week, just tell me how many carbs I should eat whatever.
Instead, let’s focus on changing our mindset. Because when you do that, your chances of success go up dramatically. I’m going to talk about this today, I’m going to talk about how when we’re focused on the negative and when we’re focused on what we don’t have, it can affect us profoundly.
But when we start to focus on the positive, the progress we made, it can affect us profoundly in a different way, in a positive way. So if you’re ready to do this inner work with me, then maybe coaching is a good fit for you! Just go to runningleanpodcast.com/apply, apply for coaching with me, we’ll get on a Zoom call, we’ll have a short conversation. But I want you to take that step, take that first step of becoming that future badass version of yourself. Cool. runningleanpodcast.com/apply. And let’s have a conversation.
And then I wanted to give you guys a heads up about something, something very cool. That’s coming soon. So in just a few weeks, I’m going to be teaching a live workshop, all about how to effectively transform yourself from the inside out into a leaner, stronger, more badass runner.
This is going to be probably the most informative and most comprehensive live workshop that I’ve ever taught. And I don’t do this kind of thing very often. In fact, I don’t know that I’ve ever really done this exact same kind of thing before. I like to teach here on the podcast.
But sometimes, sometimes I’m just so excited about the topic that I want to teach it live. There’s a real energy when we get together for a live workshop like this, you know, I get the feedback from you. Are you enjoying this? Are you getting something out of it?
You get to ask questions you get to you get your questions answered, I get the feedback. We all have a lot more fun doing this. It’s very interactive. So I just want to put this on your radar. That’s all I’m gonna say about this right now. This is a little teaser, I know.
But I’m going to keep you updated on dates and times when this thing is coming. It’s a few weeks out yet, but I’m just I’m so excited. I can’t wait for you guys to take part in this. I can’t wait to share more about this with you.
And if I didn’t mention it’s going to be free, it’s going to be a free live training to help you understand the fundamentals of becoming a healthy, badass human being. That’s all. That’s all. Just that. So more is coming soon on this I promise I’m so excited about this is going to be super fun. So just keep your ears peeled for that. I’ll be talking about it. More on the podcast here, don’t worry, you’ll know when it’s coming.
Okay, let’s talk about this today getting out of the gap and in the gain. So I talk to clients every single day who are working towards goals, right? They want to lose weight, they want to get stronger, they want to improve their body composition, they want to run faster.
And every time we get on a call, and my clients will attest to this, I always ask, tell me what’s good. Let’s talk about something positive share a win from this past week, big or small, doesn’t matter, some victory, some win around your health and fitness, maybe you lost a pound or maybe running felt better or easier, or you’re sleeping better. Or you realize for the first time in a long time that you just weren’t hungry all day long.
Like these are all little wins that we want to talk about and celebrate. Whatever it is, maybe it’s an “aha” moment, like, you know, I just realized that I can run perfectly fine without eating a bunch of sugar. Or when I make a plan ahead of time, and it’s a lot easier to just stick with it. What an aha moment, you know.
So this is the kind of stuff I always like to talk about, I always want to start out our conversations with wins, right? I want to give equal airtime to the good stuff to the positive to the wins, and to the negative to the problems to the obstacles to the struggles.
But sometimes when I ask people, “Hey, tell me something different this past week”, they just sit there and stare off into space. And they’re like, “I don’t know, I can’t think of anything, just crickets. Nothing positive from this whole past week.”
But then I’ll go like, “Hey, okay, well, let’s talk about what’s going on, like, what’s wrong, what issues you’re having, what’s the problem?” and then the floodgates open, there are all kinds of stuff they talk about, they can go on for days telling me what’s wrong, why things aren’t working, the stress thrown at work, the kids are driving them crazy, blah, blah, blah, right?
So there’s a real issue here, right, you’re consumed by the negative, when you’re consumed by all the negative stuff that’s going on in your life when you can’t even articulate one positive thing that has happened for you this past week. You’re in this constant state of like, inner turmoil. It’s a very negative state to be in, by the way.
It has a compound effect on your life. And I’ll talk more about that in a minute. But there’s a real issue here, there’s a bigger issue here because this is a negative state to be in. Right?
This is a place where you are constantly in your whole mental, emotional, physical being is a state of negativity. All right. And I was talking about this recently with my coach, and I was saying, “Listen, I have these clients, and they have a hard time articulating what’s good, and how can I help them?”
You know, why do we have this negativity bias? You know, how can we can’t see the good things in our life. And she started telling me about the gap. And being in the gap. I’d never heard of this concept before.
And so she recommended a book to me. And the book is called The Gap And The Gain by Dan Sullivan. And Dan Sullivan is a coach. He’s awesome. I love him. I read the book. It’s a very simple concept. I’m going to break it all down for you here. I just felt compelled to share with you sort of this concept from this book.
It’s a very simple concept, but very powerful. It explains why we’re so focused on the negative, why it’s so hard to see the good things in our lives. And how we can change our mindset so we can start getting better results.
So what are we talking about here? What is this gap? What’s the gap? So the gap is the space between where you are right now, and where you want to be in the future. So this is awesome. Like I said earlier, if you have a goal of wanting to get leaner, stronger, and faster, that’s awesome. I encourage you to create a very detailed, very compelling future version of yourself. Create that vision of where you want to be that’s important to do you got to know where you’re going if you want to get there, right.
But when you’re not there yet, it can be very easy to focus all of your attention on that gap between where you are today. And where you want to be. There’s a gap you’re not there. And you can focus on the fact that you’re not there.
You can focus on the gap between where you want to be and where you are right now and where you want to be in the future and this can start to feel very terrible, right? You’re focusing on the fact that you’re not there. This is what I don’t have, I am not this person yet.
When you’re in the gap, you start to feel this inner conflict is inner turmoil. So let’s say you want to lose 30 pounds, and you’ve lost 20. So far, right? But you’re so focused on those last 10 pounds that you haven’t, that you haven’t quite lost it that you’re in the gap.
Or let’s say you want to improve your running performance, you want to go from 10-minute miles for half marathon to 9-minute miles, and you’ve made some progress. you’ve increased your speed to 9:39:30 per mile. But you still got like 30 seconds per mile more to go. When you’re just focused on that you’re, you’re in the gap here again, okay.
You may not be in control of your food choices, you’re still binging you’re feeling completely out of control, sometimes, you know, you’re not acknowledging that all the other times that you didn’t binge eat ice cream, that like you used to do. So you’ve made some progress here. But you’re only focused on the gap, you’re only focused on what’s wrong.
Maybe you look in the mirror, and every time you look in the mirror, you just see your flaws. You see the flab, and the wrinkles and the sagging skin, but you don’t see that you’ve already lost inches, your clothes fit better, you’re sleeping better at night, you have a ton more energy throughout the day.
But you don’t see any of that stuff, you just see where you’re not you just see what’s wrong, you are in the gap.
So what happens to us when we’re in the gap? Like when you’re in the gap, you’ll never measure up, you’re not going to see the progress you’ve made, you’re not going to see the good stuff, you’re not going to see the incremental improvements in your health and your well being you’re only going to see what’s wrong. Being in the gap creates this state of inner conflict.
When you’re constantly focused on what’s wrong, and how you’re not where you want to be, you are going to feel pretty miserable, like all the time. And you may not even know why you’re feeling so miserable.
But you’re constantly comparing yourself to some arbitrary place that you’re not there, right. And this conflict, I want to be there. And I’m not, this is what’s going to make it very hard for you to keep going. Alright.
So being in the gap creates this state of inner conflict. It’s also very demotivating. Why the hell would you want to go out there and run faster? Or why would you want to stick to your food plan when all you do is ruminate about how crappy everything in your life is.
Being in the gap will destroy your motivation. Even if you’ve had a little bit of motivation, it’s going to just break it down.
In order to feel motivated, you have to focus on the progress you’ve made, right? motivation comes from within. And focusing on how you’ve been making slow and steady progress can help create this feeling of motivation within you.
Being in the gap, though, has the opposite effect, you feel less motivated, you feel frustrated, you feel like why bother trying, you’re just like tired and frustrated. And you just want to give up.
I talked to a lot of people who have a decent amount of weight to lose, like let’s say you’ve, you know, I’m talking to someone who’s got like 50 pounds to lose, right? And they start making some progress.
So they might lose one or two pounds a week. But they get super frustrated because they’re consumed by this idea of they’ve got like 45 more pounds to go. And it all just feels so overwhelming. I’m never going to get there. Why should I even bother? They just want to throw in the towel.
And I want to just encourage them to stop doing this stop being in the gap. You’re in the gap when you’re getting frustrated and focused on where you’re not.
And it creates these feelings of unworthiness within you, you might know you’re in the gap when you compare yourself to others. Have you ever done this before?
Everybody’s hand should be going up right now. We have all done this. We all compare ourselves to others. But is this ever a good idea? Do you ever come out on the winning end of this comparison? No, never.
Other people are losing weight faster than me. Other people are running faster than me. Other people are making progress, more progress than me. It’s easier for other people. It’s harder for me like this is all the stuff we tell ourselves. When you get caught up in these comparisons. When you’re comparing yourselves to others. You are deeply into the gap.
Alright, you start to feel less than you don’t measure up. And again, you’re like, it leads to frustration and these feelings of just unworthiness, and you feel like a failure. Because you’re like, this isn’t working for me, look at how it’s working for everybody else.
Right. And in this just your perception, the truth is, we all have our own journey, and it looks different for everyone. You have to stop comparing yourself to others because that’s being solidly into the gap. When you’re doing that you’re comparing yourself to others, you are absolutely deep into the gap, okay?
Also, when you’re in the gap, you’re going to have a very hard time making progress, because all of your thoughts and feelings are consumed by where you’re not. And this is demotivating. So you’re demotivated, you experienced this inner conflict, you feel unworthy, you feel like a failure.
Do you think you’re going to feel like you want to stick to your food plan when this is your mental and emotional state? Do you think you’re going to want to stick to your workout schedule when you’re feeling like this? No. Most people just give up, they quit. They can’t see past the gap.
So what about this idea, Patrick, of creating a clear vision of your future self, I mean, should we not be doing that? And, and like I said earlier like I teach people to do this, I think it’s important that we do this, we have to know where we’re going, we have to create this vision of ourselves.
So I want you to, this isn’t about not having a future vision for yourself, okay? You can’t make progress towards your goals if you don’t know what you want for yourself if you don’t know where you’re going. Right?
So I strongly encourage you and I work with all my clients on this to create a vision for their future self, right? Who do you want to become? How do you want to feel? What do you want your life to look like? What do you want your body to look like? What do you want running to look like for you?
These are all things that it’s important to know. Got to know where you’re going, right?
So when I talk about being in the gap, I’m not saying you shouldn’t have a vision for your future, what I’m saying is stop obsessing about not being there. That’s the part where we’re in the gap.
Okay, it’s important to have that future version of yourself that future vision for yourself. But we have to be, we have to approach this in a different way. We can’t be focused on “Oh, I’m not there yet.” Okay, so there’s a, there’s a difference there. Okay.
So at this point, I think we can all relate to being in the gap, right? We’ve all been there happens to all of us, it’s okay. I don’t want you to freak out about it. It doesn’t mean you’re a failure, you’re broken, or you’re a negative person, or you’ll never reach your goals.
If you find yourself in the gap, even regularly, it just means that you’re normal, okay? Just means that you’re a normal, healthy human being with a normal human brain. That’s it. Nothing wrong at all.
And I see this all the time with clients, we all do it. This is normal. As humans, we have this bias towards negativity, this is how we have evolved. We’ve evolved as humans to recognize dangers, right?
We are really good at spotting the problem. “Oh, this other human creature that’s coming towards me does not look like one, one of the human creatures that I know, danger, danger.” Or “This plant that I’m about to eat looks just like the one that Grok ate last week. And now he’s dead. Danger Danger!” Like spotting danger is hardcoded into our DNA.
Now, you know, if everything’s cool and safe, it doesn’t set off any alarms in our brain, right? Everything’s just copacetic or everything’s cool, no big deal. But as soon as something seems dangerous, we go on high alert.
And the funny thing is that there’s no real danger for us these days, right? There’s no other human that’s trying to murder us, I hope not really. We shop at Whole Foods. So we really don’t need to worry about eating poisonous plants.
You know, we see things like, “Oh, I’m not at my goal weight yet.” That’s the danger we see in our lives, right? That’s the problems that we experience in our lives or our half marathon time doesn’t measure up to other people we run with. This is what we perceive as being a threat to us or dangerous. So just know that your brain is normal. It’s doing what it’s been conditioned to do. It’s not your fault.
But there’s a different way of seeing things, there’s a better way to experience everything in your life. And this is called being in the gain. So when you’re in the gain, you’re focused on the progress you’ve made up to this point. Being in the gain, means you’re no longer obsessed about where you’re not instead, your focus is on how far you’ve already come.
Being in the gain means you have a bias towards positivity, not negativity. Your focus is on positivity is on progress, not on the gap between where you are and where you wish you were.
So what does it look like to be in the gain? Well, let’s go back to that example, if you want to lose 30 pounds, and you’ve lost 20 stuff tend to go. So being pissed off about why those last 10 pounds are taking so dang long, you celebrate the fact that you’ve lost 20 pounds already, you focus on the progress you’ve already made.
You see now that you’ve got your sugar cravings under control, maybe for the first time in your life, you feel better, you’re sleeping better, you have a ton more energy running is getting so much easier.
Or maybe you’ve improved your running pace by that 30 seconds per mile, you still have you know, another 30 seconds more to go by, instead of getting all worked up about it like “Oh, I’m not as fast as I want to be.”
You can see how your running is improved, your running form has improved, your running efficiency has improved, you keep increasing your lactate threshold, your heart rate is going down even when you’re running faster, all of the signs that you’re becoming a total running badass, right.
But when you’re in the gap, you don’t see any of this, you’re just focused on where you’re not. I have this goal, and I’m not there. Right.
Instead, we want to focus on the gain, we want to focus on the progress we made. Here’s the cool part about this: when you’re in the game, things will begin to shift for you internally, you’re going to begin to create a whole new mindset for yourself.
When you’re focused on the gap, this is very demotivating, right. But when you’re focused on the gains you’ve made, it has the opposite effect. Being in the gain means you’re focused on progress.
And when you track progress, and you see you’ve made progress, and you’re always moving a little bit closer to your goals, this is very motivating. This builds motivation, it builds confidence, it builds your self-esteem, it creates momentum, making little itty bitty bits of progress creates a little bit more momentum and a little bit more and a little bit more. And this momentum keeps you feeling even more motivated, which keeps you making even more and more progress, right.
So the more you focus on the gain, the more gains you make. And the more you focus on the gain, the more games you play, it’s a cycle. It’s a beautiful little cycle that continues to repeat, creating more momentum and more positive results.
So the secret really to making any kind of big changes in your life, especially when it comes to things like long-term health and fitness. The big secret is consistency, right? I guess it’s not a secret, really. But like, you’ve got to stick with it, you’ve got to stick with it for the long haul. Like these are changes we make for life. And you’ve got to be committed to being a healthy human being as a way of life.
But if you’re in the gap, this is going to be incredibly frustrating and super, super hard to do. I’m just going to tell you right now, it’s going to be almost impossible.
On the other hand, if you’re in the gain, this is how you do it. This is how you become the healthy badass runner that you want to be and how you make it last for life. Being in the gain feels light, it feels energizing, it feels free.
You build confidence and trust in yourself you create momentum towards your goals, you create these feelings of motivation. And then you just want to keep going.
So if you’re at someplace in your life here, where you’re experiencing the gap. I’m going to just give you a couple of tips on how to get out of that. Okay. So I want to give you an example. Like, let’s say you’re at a point in your weight loss journey where you’ve experienced a stall. So maybe you’ve hit a plateau in your weight loss and you’re you’ve lost some weight, but it hasn’t changed for like four or five weeks and you’re getting super frustrated. You just want to give up right?
Do this one thing. Make this one change and see what happens. Stop being in the gap and start being in the gain. Start focusing on incremental progress. start focusing on all the little things that are good. Start focusing on all the tiny little bits of progress you’ve made, and see how that doesn’t feel for you.
Start celebrating all that progress is going to create momentum and motivation within you and you’ll want to keep going and you know what, I have a feeling that scale just might start to move again.
Or maybe you want to run faster and you say, can’t seem to get past that 9:30 pace, right? Start really tracking your progress, celebrate all the metrics that are improving: heart rate, VO to Max, you know, speed, overall pace, you know, splits, you know, interval paces, all that stuff, start to track all of that.
And start to celebrate the progress that you’re making. And I have a feeling you’re going to see your times improve because you’re going to feel more motivated, you’re going to want to keep going.
Slow and steady progress is how we win the game, right? Slow and steady progress, track it, and celebrate it, all of it.
And I talked to people all the time about how long it takes to lose weight. And the truth is that first some people, it just takes a while, right? It just takes what it takes.
So let’s say you want to, you know, lose those last 10 pounds. And it’s super frustrating. It’s taking forever, cording to you.
And you’re like, “Oh, this is just taking so long.” I’m like, “How long is it supposed to take?” So let’s just say for S’s and G’s like to lose the last 10 pounds, let’s say took a year.
Now when I just said that, did you freak out a little bit like, “Oh my god, it shouldn’t take that long.” Whatever. Let’s just say it took a year.
Think about this a year from now, would you rather be at your goal weight? Or would you rather be upset because you gave up because you got frustrated? Because you quit on yourself.
If you are feeling like it’s just taking too long, and you say screw it and you give up this is what most people do. They just say you know what? Why bother.
But even though you’re making progress, even though you’re on track to lose a pound a month, or whatever it is, when you’re in the gap, you cannot see this progress, you can’t see that you’re making changes, and it’s incremental, slow and steady. And you’ll get there eventually, but you can’t see it.
And so you just end up, most people just end up getting frustrated and quitting. throwing in the towel. Do not do this.
Here’s your call to action for this week, I want you to identify one area of your life where you’re in the gap. I know you know what this is you’ve probably already been thinking about this, right? Where are you focused on where you’re not. Alright.
And then I want you to stop doing that. Okay, stop being in the gap and start being in the gain instead. Don’t be obsessed about where you’re not, start being obsessed about all the tiny little incremental progress that you’re making.
And when you start focusing on that, you’re going to start to feel energized about that progress. And then you’re going to start to feel more confident. And you’re going to start to feel more self-esteem, right? And you’re going to start to make slow and steady progress and you’re going to start to create this unstoppable momentum for yourself. You’re going to feel more motivated to keep going.
So that’s your work for this week. Stop being in the gap. Find one place in your life where you’re, you know, you’re in the gap, and start being in the gain. Start being obsessed about progress. Cool, I think this is super fun, and life-changing. Do this this week. Don’t put this off. Do this for sure.
And remember, if you’re ready to get out of the gap for good and stop comparing yourself to where you’re not, and start focusing on the real progress you’re making towards your goals. You might want to see if coaching is right for you. Just go to runningleanpodcast.com/apply. Let’s have that conversation. Let’s get you out of the gap and into the gain. Cool? Love you all, keep on Running Lean, and I’ll talk to you soon.
If you’re a runner and you’ve been struggling to lose weight or you keep losing and gaining the same 10 pounds over and over again. Or you’re finally ready to get to your natural weight and stay there for good this time then I have something you will love. I’ve created a powerful new training just for you called running lean for life. You’ll learn exactly how to transform yourself into a lean fat burning running machine. So you can run without bonking, lose weight without calorie counting and develop the habits required to make it last for life. To get this free training right now go to runningleanpodcast.com/leanforlife and start your transformation today.
If you’re like most people (me included), your beliefs about what you can or can’t accomplish are based on whatever you’ve been able to do up to this point in your life. You might want to lose 30 …
Continue Reading about 111. Thinking Beyond Your Current Self →
My name is Patrick McGilvray, and I’m an experienced marathoner, ultra runner, Sports Nutritionist, Master Life Coach, and weight loss coach for runners. I’ve dedicated my life to helping runners just like you properly fuel your body and your mind. So you can get leaner, get stronger, run faster and run longer than you ever thought possible. This is Running Lean.
Hey there, and welcome to Episode 111, of Running Lean. My name is Patrick McGilvray, the weight loss coach for runners and today: thinking beyond your current self. So, if you’re anything like most people, me included, then your beliefs about what you can or what you can’t accomplish are probably based on whatever you’ve been able to do up to this point in your life.
So, you might want to lose 30 pounds, but deep down inside, you don’t believe you can get there because every time you’ve tried to lose weight in the past, you failed. So, your point of reference with weight loss is that you always give in to temptation and you end up failing.
So, you’re looking to your past experiences as evidence that you will never be able to lose weight in the future; who you are today is all you’ll ever be. Whoa, that’s incredibly limiting! It’s an incredibly limiting mindset. It’s keeping you stuck where you are. So, in this episode of the podcast, I’m going to show you a powerful, powerful way to start thinking beyond your current self, so that you can break out of that cycle of your past and become that badass future self that I know you want to be!
But first, if you like this podcast, then you have to come check out the Running Lean Podcast Community on Facebook. This is a group of like-minded runners who come together to encourage each other and support each other. We share goals, we share pictures of ourselves running, and we have fun doing it. I also post some trainings and we do some teaching and coaching in the group. It’d be fun to have you; just search for Running Lean Community on Facebook and come join in the fun.
And then listen, if you’re having trouble envisioning more for yourself, if there’s some version of you that you ultimately want to become, but you’re just having trouble, like figuring out what it really is that you want for yourself. If you’re confused by all of this conflicting information out there around diet and exercise and weight loss. If you’re having a hard time doing things like giving up sugar; it’s just too hard to stop, it’s too hard to let go of. If you’re ready to be done with all that frustration and you’re ready to get some help. If you’re ready to commit to becoming the most badass version of yourself, then you have to apply for one on one coaching with me, this is what I do, I can help you break out of that cycle of feeling like you’re addicted to sugar, I can help you end the frustration, end the confusion and we’ll put together a plan for you that will help you decide who it is that you want to become and then we’re going to work towards making that happen for you.
If you’re interested in working with me as your coach you can apply for coaching at runningleanpodcast.com/apply. Let’s make this the year that you become the badass that you want to be, cool?
Alright, let’s talk about this thinking beyond your current self. So, here’s why I wanted to talk about this today. For a lot of us, and this is me included, I definitely have some experience with this and I’m going to tell you a little bit about that in a second here. For a lot of us we base our beliefs about what it is we think we can do. We base our beliefs about what it is or who it is we think we can become based on what we’ve done in our past and whatever we’ve been able to achieve up to this point. So, you might get to a certain point in your life and then you can’t see beyond where you are. You can’t see beyond your current state.
You decide on goals. So, you choose goals based on what you think you can accomplish based on where you are today instead of what you really want for yourself. You end up thinking very small and only end up getting more of what you have already created for yourself; you end up just getting more and more of what you’ve already done.
Here’s the thing in order to grow: in order to evolve, in order to become more you have to think beyond your current self, you have to believe in a version of yourself that doesn’t even exist yet. And this is what trips up most people. Most people cannot think beyond who they are today.
So let me give you a picture of what this looks like. Maybe you’re carrying around some extra weight and you have been for a while, maybe running has gotten a lot harder than it needs to be for you. And by the way, this was my experience, I’m kind of describing me a couple years back, okay? Running was a lot harder than it needed to be. For me, I felt like I was out of control with my food choices. I’ve tried a bunch of stuff. Nothing ever really worked. I was frustrated, I was confused, I felt pretty hopeless, actually.
And here’s what happens when we’re in that state: we base what we’re able to do on where we are today. So based on feeling out of control, and frustrated and confused and hopeless, what do you think you can accomplish when you’re in that state? Not a lot, I’m going to tell you. So you end up being stuck, you feel like you’re stuck.
You’re just feeling like this is just where I’m going to be. I can’t lose the weight, I can’t control my food choices, I’m always going to feel out of control, I’m always going to feel frustrated, I’m always going to be confused, I’m always going to be stuck.
Now you wish you could become leaner. You wish you could get stronger, you wish you could lose the weight, you wish you could become a different person, but you’re not actually believing that it’s possible for you.
In order to move beyond where you are today, you have to believe in a version of yourself that doesn’t even exist yet. You have to believe in a version of yourself that is greater than where you are today, you have to think beyond your current results.
So if your results are, hey, I’m 30 pounds overweight, I’m frustrated, I’m confused, nothing ever works. That’s where you are today. And if that’s your point of reference, and that’s what you’re using to base what you think you can accomplish. That’s all you’re going to be able to accomplish, you’re just going to stay stuck where you are.
So, you have to get past that! You have to start thinking beyond your current self, beyond who you are here today. Because listen, the current self, your current self, will not get you there, can’t get you there.
Who you are today is probably the result of years or decades of patterns of behavior, patterns of thoughts, patterns of feelings, patterns of actions, habits, really. You’ve been on autopilot for a long time, right? So, who you are today is just a result of all these past habits is the result of past thinking and past patterns of behavior. That’s it. That’s all it is, not that big of a deal, doesn’t mean you’re bad. Let’s just, you know, here’s what you’ve done up to this point. And this is where it got you, these are the results you have today, who you are today is just the culmination of years of past thought patterns and feeling patterns and action patterns and behaviors.
But what got you here won’t get you there. What got you here isn’t going to get you where you want to become. So you have to make a shift, you need to start thinking beyond who you’ve been up to this point beyond what you’ve done up to this point, you have got to break out of those old patterns of behavior.
So, here’s how your mind works. Humans are really good at seeing and recognizing patterns. It’s what helps us to recognize what’s safe versus what’s dangerous when we see patterns of people in nature; animals in the animal kingdom and things like that. Like we used to be like “Oh, this is good. This thing will kill me. Okay.”
All these animals, these little tiny furry creatures are good, but this big one with all the stripes and the big teeth? That’s the one that’s going to eat me. He wants to eat me. These other ones are fine, but this one wants to eat me, so we’re good at seeing patterns.
We’re good at understanding what’s safe versus what’s dangerous. Okay, we’re still really good at this stuff today. We love patterns. We love habits. We love repetition. The more we do something, the easier it becomes, right? Your mind is like a perfect recording device, by the way, so it’s always recording everything that’s ever happened to you. You actually remember everything that’s ever happened to you deep down in your subconscious. You can’t possibly pull it all out right now, you can’t bring it into your conscious mind. It’s all buried down in there, you know. So basically, you’ve memorized all the things that you’ve done, all the patterns of behavior. And that’s just what you know, you know this stuff really, really well. It’s part of who you are, your whole identity is based on all these patterns that you’ve done up to this point, or all the things that you’ve not done up to this point. The things you’ve failed at, the things you’ve succeeded at. But whatever it is, everything about who you are, is based on your past.
But in order to grow into that future healthy, lean, strong runner that you know you want to be, you have to think beyond your current self.
So I know you’ve done this before, think back to when you just started running, you could never imagine running a marathon right? Again, this was definitely me; my experience, I couldn’t imagine. When I first started running, I couldn’t imagine running three miles without stopping. I was training for a 5K and I was like, “I’m going to run 3 miles without stopping.” I couldn’t imagine doing that! But then I did. And then I decided to sign up for a 10K. And I was like, “How am I going to run 6 miles? That’s like double what I’ve ever been able to do in the past.” So, in order to run that first three miles, and in order to double that and run 6.2 miles without stopping, I had to think beyond my current results. My current results said “You know, when I was training for that 5K, my current results said you can run like a mile and a half, and then you have to stop.” But I was going to run three miles without stopping. So, I had to think beyond my current results. And then when I decided at some point that I was going to train for and run a marathon. I know this is crazy, right? I was like “I don’t think this is possible. But I’m committed to doing this. And I need to start thinking beyond where I am today. I need to start thinking beyond my current self.”
Because if I didn’t, I never would have shown up for those training runs, I never would have put the time into it. Because deep down inside, I never would have believed I could do that. But I think at some point, I really did start to believe that. I had to really think beyond where I was at this point, though. Same thing when I ran 50 miles or 100 miles. You know, I ran 50 miles and I was like “I could never run 100 miles. The 50 was hard enough. I can’t imagine doubling it.” And then I did. And I did that because I imagined a future me that could accomplish that.
Here’s another example. I love this one. Like toddlers, they are constantly thinking beyond their current selves. They may not even be able to, you know, articulate this, but they are. If you’ve ever watched a toddler learning how to walk, you’re going to see them. Like, they just keep trying, right? They keep going for it time and time and time again, they just keep trying and trying and trying and they keep failing.
I watched my grandson do this last year. On his first birthday, he, you know, would walk his first few steps. It was so amazing. But then he fell down. But then a couple of days later he did like eight or 10 steps, you know, but then he would fall down. But he kept going, he kept getting up, wiping out trying a few steps. He’d fall down, get up and keep trying again. Right. So he kept going, even though everything he had done up to that point, failed. Everything he had done up to that point was like, “You can’t do this. You can’t walk! You’ve never been able to do this in the past. There’s no evidence that you can look to from your past to make you think that you can do this thing walking. What is that? You’ve never been able to. How do you think you’re going to possibly do this?”
So this little tiny, beautiful little creature was like, screw that I’m going to make this work. And he kept trying. And now of course, he’s running around like crazy and you can’t keep up with him. But if he based whether or not he could walk on his past results, or who he was in that moment, he would never be able to walk. No kid would ever be able to walk or ride a bicycle or graduate from high school, or get a job or buy a house or have kids or anything right. It’s the exact same thing for us.
Wherever you are today, if you’re looking for some evidence, some sort of hard evidence, something to make you believe, without a doubt that you’re going to get to your goal weight, or you’re going to be able to get stronger, or run faster, or become that total badass, there is no evidence for it, because you haven’t been able to do it yet.
The evidence comes after you get there; you have to believe it in order to see it, not the other way around. You have to believe it before you see it. You have to think, feel and act beyond who you are today.
And somebody I was talking about this with somebody recently. And they said, “Isn’t this just like fake it till you make it?” And it’s kind of like that, but there’s nothing fake about it. Your thoughts, your feelings, your actions, these are not fake.
Even just imagining something in your mind using the power of your own imagination. It’s not fake. It’s not fake to your subconscious mind, right? Your subconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between what’s real and what’s imagined.
So, when you imagine something in your mind, to your subconscious, it’s like it’s really happening. Everything you create in this world, every result that you get is first imagined in your mind. Think about it, let’s say you want to build a house, or take a vacation, the very first thing you do is imagine what that house will look like, how big is that master suite going to be? How big is that walk in closet going to be?
Or thinking about that vacation, that beach is going to be so awesome, so warm. Those palm trees are going to be bending in the breeze and that blue green ocean water with those waves crashing on the sand. So, I just conjured up all these images with my imagination. Now I can work to make these things a reality. I’ll pick a place to go. I really want to go somewhere warm now that I’m doing this. As I look outside, it’s cold and snowy and everything, but I’m like now I want to go up, pick a place, book my flights and then go.
But first I have to make that connection in my mind, I have to go beyond where I am today. I have to imagine it. So, it’s really not like fake it till you make it’s more like think beyond your current self and then become it.
I want to encourage you to start applying this in your life today. Stop living in the past, right? The past is not who you are. It’s just what got you here today. Okay, I want you to decide who you want to be. So define your future self. And really spend some time on this. Really think about what it is you want for yourself and who it is you want to be. What does that future badass version of yourself look like, sound like, feel like?
And then start living into your future self by thinking beyond who you are today, thinking beyond your current self, beyond your current results. Regardless of what you think you can or can’t do, regardless of your past and what’s worked or not worked in the past for you. Regardless of where you are today or who you are today, start thinking beyond your current self. And then you can start growing and evolving and becoming that badass future version of yourself. Cool?
And then remember, if you ever want help with this, if you want help thinking about who it is you want to become and thinking beyond your current self, if you’re ready to commit to becoming that future version of yourself, then apply for one on one coaching with me runningleanpodcast.com/apply. I would love to have you and it would be super fun to work with you!
I hope you got something out of this today. Love you all, keep on running lean, and I’ll talk to you soon.
If you’re a runner and you’ve been struggling to lose weight or you keep losing and gaining the same 10 pounds over and over again. Or you’re finally ready to get to your natural weight and stay there for good this time then I have something you will love. I’ve created a powerful new training just for you called running lean for life. You’ll learn exactly how to transform yourself into a lean fat burning running machine. So you can run without bonking, lose weight without calorie counting and develop the habits required to make it last for life. To get this free training right now go to runningleanpodcast.com/leanforlife and start your transformation today.
Oftentimes, when you set out to improve your health and fitness, you find yourself feeling all of this negative stuff. Just thinking about changing your diet will bring up all of these thoughts and …
My name is Patrick McGilvray, and I’m an experienced marathoner, ultra runner, Sports Nutritionist, Master Life Coach, and weight loss coach for runners. I’ve dedicated my life to helping runners just like you properly fuel your body and your mind. So you can get leaner, get stronger, run faster, and run longer than you ever thought possible. This is Running Lean.
Hey there, and welcome to episode 110 of Running Lean. My name is Patrick McGilvray, the weight loss coach for runners and today: Battling the Resistance. Oftentimes, when you set out to improve your health and fitness, you find yourself feeling all this negative stuff. Just thinking about changing your diet can bring up all these negative thoughts and feelings like this is just going to be too hard. What if I fail, these things never work for me, and on and on and on. Right?
This is called the resistance. And it shows up in the form of fear, worry, self-doubt, excuses, procrastination. It can absolutely stop you from ever achieving your goals. It can actually even keep you from ever starting anything.
So today on the podcast, I’m going to show you how to recognize when the resistance starts to show up for you and what to do about it. Because it’s all about battling the resistance, not getting into it.
But first, if you like this podcast, if you’re a fan of the Running Lean podcast, then you got to come and check out the Running Lean podcast community on Facebook. This is a group of like-minded runners who all share similar goals. We post inspirational posts, we encourage each other, we support each other on our goals. And it’s a very positive place to hang out if you do social media. If you want to find a fun group to kind of be a part of and feel like you’re included in this awesome positive community, then please come check out the Running Lean podcast community on Facebook, just search for Running Lean Podcast Community and join us. It’ll be fun, it’s fun.
And listen, I understand that I talk a lot about losing weight, about changing your nutrition about becoming this future version of yourself this, you know, healthiest and most badass version of yourself. And I also understand that it can be confusing, it can feel frustrating or overwhelming sometimes, and trying to figure it all out on your own can be very challenging.
So if you’re one of those people that’s like, you know what, I just want to hit the easy button on this, you know, I just want somebody to show me what to do. I want somebody there that can hold me accountable, and to offer encouragement, and just give you that support that you need to reach your goals, then I absolutely have your back.
Hiring me as your coach will give you all of those things, you’ll learn exactly how to become that future version of yourself, whatever that looks like for you. Because we’re all different, we all have different goals, we all have different needs. We all have different desires. We all have different likes and dislikes. So we’re going to put together a plan that works for you, that feels good for you that feels like something you can do for the rest of your life.
This is about long-term health and fitness. If you’re interested in some kind of short-term, I just want to lose, you know, some weight really fast. That’s not what this is about. This is about making changes at the core of who you are. It’s like changing your habits. It’s changing your identity. It’s making this big shift in how you think and feel about food and exercise and nutrition, all that stuff.
So who is it that you want to become and if you want some help getting there? Let me know. I gotcha. Just go to runningleanpodcast.com/apply. And you can apply for coaching, you get to fill out a short little application, you and I need to jump on a call and have a conversation and see if this is a good fit for you. And if it is, boom, let’s do it. Let’s go battle the resistance together. Cool. All right.
So I love this topic today. I was talking with my personal trainer Chris Wissman recently, and I started talking about this stuff that comes up for people. These things that come up when people start to want to change something.
So you know I work with a lot of people who are changing their diet, they’re changing their workout routines, and I get get a lot of excuses and reasons why they can’t do it or why it’s too hard. And he and I were having this conversation. He said oh yeah, that’s the resistance. And I was like boom. Yes, that’s exactly what it is.
And it reminded me of this book by Steven Pressfield called The War of Art, in it he talks about the resistance, and he’s talking about how he shows up for creative types, people who are, you know, writers, and people who are creating, you know, written content and things like that, and how when they set out to, you know, create something, they get all this self-doubt and worry, and all these things kind of come up for them, right.
But it’s the same thing. It’s that resistance that comes in whenever we want to change something whenever we want to do something that’s bigger than us, or that maybe we haven’t done before. So many people I talk to want more for themselves, they want to become more, they have that picture in their head of who they want to become. But when it comes to taking action, there’s something that comes up. And there are these excuses. And these reasons why it’s not going to work. And these stories, they keep telling themselves. There’s something that’s like pushing against them.
And whatever it is, they’re trying to do whatever they want to accomplish for themselves, there’s, resistance there, okay. And this resistance can come in a lot of different forms. It can come in the form of excuses and stories and reasons why it’s not going to work.
It can come from things you’ve done or not been able to do in the past, it can come in the form of fear, a lot of it is fear, fear of the unknown, fear of failure, self-doubt, worry, anxiety, it can come in the form of self-sabotage or procrastination. Or I’m going to wait to do this because maybe it’s just not the right time.
And so we procrastinate, right. So why do we do this? Why? Why do we have this resistance? Where’s it coming from? Because it’s counterintuitive, right? It’s counterintuitive to what you want for yourself. You want to lose weight, but you’re telling yourself, you’re probably just going to fail, like all the other times, you want to get stronger, but you keep putting off going to the gym, I’ll go tomorrow, or next week or things at work are a little crazy right now.
So once things calm down and work, then I’ll start going to the gym. So when is this showing up for you like, the resistance shows up in a lot of different times and a lot of different places. But one place it shows up a lot is just when it’s time to start something.
You know, I talk to people every day who want to become that future badass version of themselves, and they want it so badly for themselves. And they tell me like, “Oh, I just want this so bad.” And they tell me why it’s so important to them. You know, they want to be there for their kids, they want to be a good example to their sons or daughters. They want to inspire other people to get healthy. They want to live their life feeling good about themselves for a change.
You know, they tell me they’re ready to go all-in on themselves and they’re ready to get started. I say, Okay, let’s do this. Let’s start and then that resistance comes in and they say “I don’t know, maybe, maybe I’m not ready for this. I’m afraid I’m gonna fail. Like all the other times that failed. I just, it may be too hard.”
So people tell me this stuff all the time. And I, I kind of just cock my head and look at them sideways and be like, you know, like, let’s fight this resistance together. You know, think about when you decided the first time, let’s say you ran a marathon before, like the first time you decided to run a marathon. That was a big deal. There’s probably all these thoughts and feelings that came up for you all this resistance that came up for you. But you did it anyway.
I talk to people all the time who say like, “Oh, I’d love to run a marathon someday.” I’m like, Cool, let’s do it, pick a race. Let’s get you signed up. And then boom here comes the resistance. I’m afraid I’ve never run that far before. I don’t know if I can do it. I don’t know, if I’ll have time to train, it’s a lot of training. It just almost seems too hard. Maybe I’m just not cut out to be a marathon runner.
And all this resistance comes in and just puts this big dark cloud over what they really want for themselves. If you want to be a fit, healthy, strong person, and you got to start something new to get there, it’s gonna feel scary, it’s gonna feel uncomfortable, you might think you might not be able to do it. That’s okay. That’s all the resistance okay.
The resistance also shows up anytime you face an obstacle, or you experience some sort of setback. So first you have to understand that failure is part of the process. You have to accept this principle, okay?
Most people do not accept failure at all and when things don’t go as planned, and by the way, they never do. When things don’t go as planned, then the doubt and the fear and the worry and the resistance all comes up in just pushes against them. And then they just quit.
Like, if you’ve ever changed your diet and you start losing weight, and you start making progress, and you’re feeling good, you’re feeling kind of amazing. But then things kind of slow down or stall for a few days or a week and you start to freak out. And in reality, this doesn’t really mean anything, your weight fluctuates up and down all the time.
But we make it mean, it’s not working, we make it mean that we can’t do it. See, I told you these things never worked for me. All this hard work and no results, screw it, I’m just gonna eat cake for dinner tonight. Why bother? This is all just the resistance, showing up, you got to recognize when this comes up for you. And just knowing what it is, knowing that it’s just your brain kind of freaking out. This is a powerful first step in battling against it, you have to see that this is what this is, and this is coming up for you.
Resistance also shows up when you start comparing yourself to others. Do you ever do this? I don’t do that I don’t compare myself to others. Not true. I do. And it’s something that I have to like, think about and work on constantly. But this is kind of a sneaky way that resistance will show up for you.
So you’ll see what other people are doing. You’ll see what other people look like, you’ll see where other people are on their health and fitness journey. Maybe they’ve lost a bunch of weight in a short amount of time, or they’ve gotten a lot faster, you know, they can run a faster marathon than you or whatever, and you start comparing yourself.
You start comparing yourself to these other people. And for whatever reason, whenever we compare ourselves to others, we always come out on the losing end of that comparison. Isn’t that interesting? I think that’s very interesting. Why don’t we always compare ourselves to others and come out ahead like, “Oh, look, I’m so amazing compared to all these other people!”
No, we don’t do it that way. We look at other people and we say, “Oh, I’m not as fast, I’m not as healthy. I’m not as strong, not as fit. I’m not as lean. Oh, look, she can run a lot faster than me, it must mean that she’s special. And I’m not.”
So for me, this came up when I was, you know, before I kind of got fit again, a couple of years ago, I’d kind of let myself go, I did gain a lot of weight. And I compare myself to these young fit dudes with these big muscles in the six-pack abs. And I would tell myself stories like I could never look like that. I’m too old, I’m a lot older.
And these guys, I don’t have their genes, you know, they’ve got some kind of genetic, you know, thing that helps them to become like ripped like that. And I just don’t have that I don’t have that same determination. I don’t have what it takes, I can never do it. This is for them, but not me. And when I recognize that all of this was just noise, this resistance was just my brain freaking out about all this stuff. I stood up to it, I’m going to battle against resistance.
And I was like, why not? Me? Why not? Maybe I can look like that. Or get close to that. So instead of comparing myself to other people, I don’t do that anymore. I compare myself to my former self, I compare myself to where I was a year ago, six months ago, a couple of years ago, whatever.
I always want to improve myself over where I used to be. And I really work on not comparing myself to where other people are. Sometimes I catch myself I see people I’m just like, dang, you know, I’ll never look like that. And then I’m I recognize that all there’s the resistance. There’s the resistance, it’s just my brain, looking for problems and finding them. When you start looking for problems. You will find them everywhere I promise you. But here’s the thing, the resistance is keeping you stuck if you’re feeling stuck.
If you’re feeling like you’re not making any progress or you’re not making any changes or you just can’t get motivated to do something. It’s probably resistance is showing up for you. It’s what’s keeping you in this loop of wanting more for yourself but never actually doing anything about it.
And keep in mind resistance this resistance is powerful stuff. It’s so powerful can stop you from making any progress and it can keep you stuck for a long time years, decades. And the resistance will try to convince you that you’re not good enough that you can’t do it that you always fail. You’ll never amount anything. You can’t be that badass person you want to be. You’ve always failed. You’re doomed to be a failure.
We’ve got to like fight against these thoughts and feelings that come up, we got to fight against this resistance. Because that’s all they are is just thoughts and feelings. And when you start to notice this, you start to notice these are just your thoughts and feelings.
You’ve got to recognize that you’re embarking on something that’s out of your comfort zone. stuff you’ve never done is outside your comfort zone, you know, things that are challenging or outside your comfort zone, everything you want for yourself, but don’t already have is outside your comfort zone. If it was in your comfort zone, you’d already have it. If it was easy and comfortable for you, you’d have it already. But it’s not, it’s hard.
It’s something you’ve never done before. It’s something that you may have tried and failed at in the past, all that stuff is out of your comfort zone. And when you get outside your comfort zone, even thinking about getting outside your comfort zone will bring up the resistance. So you have to understand something, that the resistance is not something that is out there. It’s within you, it’s you, it’s your mindset.
The resistance is not how things are. It’s just your perception of how things are in this moment. I’m going to repeat that because I think it’s so important for you to understand the resistance is not how things are. It’s just how you perceive things are in this moment.
So this is both good and bad news. Okay, the bad news is that it’s all you. You can’t blame anybody else. You can’t blame anyone or anything else on this, the resistance is you, sorry, you create it, you’re perpetuating it. You’re making yourself stuck in this loop. It’s all you. Okay, that’s the bad news.
The good news is, it’s all you. Because it’s just you, it’s just your mind, it’s your brain, and you have the power to change it. If it was somebody else, you couldn’t change it, if it was something, doing something to you, you wouldn’t have the power to change it. But it is just you, it’s your thoughts and feelings. And you can change all of that stuff.
You can decide if you want to, you know, listen to the resistance and give into it and let it consume you. Let it overwhelm you, and let it keep you stuck. And let it keep you feeling like you’ll never be good enough. Or you can start battling against it.
You’ve got to start working on that mindset, you’ve got to develop an empowered mindset. And whatever it is you want for yourself, you have to understand that battling the resistance is going to be part of the process, it is required for you to become the person that you want to become, it’s the price you pay, it’s the cost of becoming that amazing, healthiest version of yourself that badass, lean, strong runner that you want to be.
So you have to stand up against the resistance, recognize it, and then take action, despite the resistance coming up for you, you’re going to feel the resistance, it’s going to be there, those thoughts and feelings are going to be there. You’ve got to take action despite thinking and feeling these things, awareness, and then taking action. That’s how you battle against the resistance. Not today, resistance. I’m gonna get out there and do what I have to do.
I did this today, I’m back to running again. It’s been a couple of months since I’ve ran and you know, it’s okay. It’s it feels actually pretty good. But I can’t do a whole lot I’m supposed to, you know, take it easy. So today I had about 15 minutes on the schedule to run.
And we’re having this crazy ice and snowstorm here in Cincinnati right now. And I was like, I do not want to go out there and fall on my butt and like hurt my shoulder again or something like that. So all this resistance came up for me. I was like, I’m just not going to do it. I don’t want to do it.
And I have in my building here I have a gym and I have access to several treadmills and stuff. And I was like, I just don’t like running on the treadmill. But you know what I was like, Okay, I’m just gonna do it. So I put on my shorts and my running shirt, laced up my running shoes, and I headed down to the treadmill, I turn that thing on and I started running.
And the whole time I was like, I hate this. Max resistance was coming up for me and I was just like, I don’t run on the treadmill. I just don’t ever do it. I’ll run outside despite the weather, but I was just trying to be safe today and not wipe out. Normally I would go outside and run and whatever. But because I’m still recovering from this, I got to be careful.
So I had to battle that resistance that came up for me and I was like yeah, this is exactly what I’m going to be talking about today on this podcast, because it’s so prevalent, it’s always going to be there in some form.
So recognize when it shows up for you. Okay? And then, you know, take action despite feeling the resistance. Okay? Here’s what I want you to do. I want you to think about that future version of yourself. That strong, lean, healthiest, badass version of yourself. How did you get there? Did you get there by giving into the resistance and staying stuck? And not taking action? And being full of fear and worry, and having excuses and self-doubt and self-sabotaging and procrastination? Is that how you got there?
No, no, that’s not how you got there. You got there by fighting against that resistance. It was still there, but you fought against it. And that’s how you became that future version of yourself. Yeah, I love this idea. I love this idea of going into the future and thinking about who you want to be. And thinking about how did I get there? That is powerful stuff right there, my friends. All right.
And if you ever want a little help with all this I got you just go over to runningleanpodcast.com/apply, and let’s go to battle against that resistance together. Cool. All right, love you all. Keep on Running Lean. We’ll talk to you soon.
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Who are you becoming? It’s a good question, right? The thing is, most people don’t ever ask themselves this. They don’t spend any time thinking about who they really want to become. This …
My name is Patrick McGilvray, and I’m an experienced marathoner, ultra runner, Sports Nutritionist, Master Life Coach, and weight loss coach for runners. I’ve dedicated my life to helping runners just like you properly fuel your body and your mind. So you can get leaner, get stronger, run faster, and run longer than you ever thought possible. This is Running Lean.
Hey there, and welcome to episode 109 of Running Lean. My name is Patrick McGilvray, the weight loss coach for runners today, who are you becoming? Who are you becoming? It’s a good question, right? The thing is, most people don’t ever ask themselves this question. They don’t spend any time thinking about who they really want to become. This is a problem.
If you don’t know where you’re going, how are you supposed to get there? If you don’t know who you want to become in the future, chances are pretty good that you’re going to stay stuck, right where you are right now. So in this episode, I’m going to talk about the importance of contemplating this powerful question, Who am I becoming, and then I’m going to talk about how to start working toward becoming that exact version of yourself. Cool, this will be fun, I think it’s gonna be a good one.
First, if you like this podcast, come check out the Running Lean Podcast community on Facebook. This is a group of like-minded people who come to share their experience,to share their encouragement, to share their inspiration, and to post selfies of them running. And it’s a lot of fun, we have a lot of fun in the community, I post challenges in there, sometimes, I’ll occasionally do a training or a coaching session in there. And it’s all designed to be a positive encouraging place to go. People say they love the Facebook community, we’d love to have you over there. So just search for Running Lean Community on Facebook, and come join us.
And then listen, all this talk about nutrition and weight loss and fueling for running and becoming the best version of yourself. All this stuff can be confusing, it can feel overwhelming, can feel frustrating. There’s a lot of conflicting information out there. figuring it all out on your own can be very challenging.
But listen, if you want to hit the easy button, one on one coaching with me might be just the thing for you. With coaching, you get the knowledge, the expert guidance, the support, the encouragement, the accountability, you get someone there, who knows what you’re going through, who knows how to get you to your goals, somebody that’s there to give you feedback, to help you figure out what’s working, what’s not what to do next, someone in your corner who’s always there for you who’s always got your back.
This is like you and I working closely together to help you become that badass future version of yourself. You know, the one who’s lean and strong, the one who feels good about yourself. The best part is all helped you develop the mindset to make all this something that you do for life. It’s one thing to like lose weight or hit a running goal. It’s another thing to be healthy to be a healthy, strong human being and make it last for life. That’s the work we do together. So who are you becoming? And let’s get you there together. You can apply for coaching over at runningleanpodcast.com/apply. Let’s make 2022 the year that you changed your life for good.
Cool. All right, I am so excited about talking about this today. I’ve been thinking about this topic for a while now. And I’ve touched on this in several different ways in the past, but I really want to put this together in a way that really is simple and makes sense for you. Okay.
And so there’s this question of who are you becoming? And the reason I’m talking about this today is because most people seem to feel like they’re stuck where they are. They don’t feel like they have any direction. Right? They don’t really have an idea of who they want to become.
Even people that are like, Oh yeah, I want to be healthier, like what does that mean for you? And sometimes they’re like, I don’t know. I just want to feel healthier. Well, you got to know what that means. But if you don’t know who you want to become, if you don’t have a clear vision of who it is you want to become, how are you going to get there? I’m telling you right now, you’re not going to get there because You’re a boat without a rudder, you’re just like going aimlessly right? Through your life.
You’re not going to get anywhere and nothing is ever going to work for you, you’re not going to experience the growth and the change that you really want for yourself. And you’re just going to kind of stay stuck where you are right now. And there’s nothing wrong with any of this if that’s what you want for yourself.
If you’re cool with where you are right now, and you’re like, I’m good, Patrick, I don’t, I don’t want to like be better. I don’t want to be healthier. I don’t want to get stronger, or leaner or run faster, or like do my first ultra-marathon or push myself and see what I’m capable of.
If you’re fine with where you are right now. That’s amazing. You do you. But I know you. I know the people that listen to this podcast are like, ‘No, Patrick, I’m on board with this, I want more for myself, I want to see what I’m capable of, I want to become more.’ But you have to have a very clear vision of what that means for you.
Okay, so most people just don’t have that vision, they don’t have the direction, they don’t really know what they want for themselves. So you got to have that very clear vision of who it is you want to become okay. Another reason I’m talking about this is that I get asked questions all the time from people on social media, in the Facebook group, and they’ll ask me questions, like, ‘What foods should I eat? What foods should I not eat? How do I fuel for running? How many carbs should I eat? How often should I be running? How many times a week? Should I lift weights? How should I structure these workouts? What should my macros look like?’
And on and on and on? Right? All these questions and they’re good questions. And we do want to, you know, focus on those at some point. You know that is part of the equation here. But I think from the get-go, you’re kind of focusing on the wrong things.
First, well, first of all, I have to say this, that the answer to all those questions is always it depends. Nobody likes to hear that answer either. I’m like, ‘Well, it depends. Like, what are your goals? What’s your lifestyle look like? What are your likes and dislikes? What do you what are you trying to achieve? Are you trying to lose weight? Are you trying to change your body composition? Are you trying to get stronger? Are you trying to run your first ultra-marathon?’
Like what is it that you want for yourself? It ultimately comes down to answering that question, Who are you becoming? And most people are just not focused on this. They just want me to tell them what to do. They just want somebody to say, do this and not that. And I’m telling you right now that unless you have this other deeper, more powerful question figured out, who do you want to become; what you’re doing isn’t going to make a lot of sense.
When you can answer that question, oh, this is who I want to become in the future. This is what I want for myself. This is what I want my life to look like, this is what I want my body to look like, this is how and where I want my running to be. When you can answer those questions very clearly, then what you do becomes much more obvious. It’s much more obvious, much easier to answer those questions for yourself.
Okay. Here’s another reason why I want to talk about this today. Most coaches and I’ve talked to a lot of people who have had other types of coaches, either dieticians, they’ve worked with nutrition coaches, personal trainers, running coaches, and almost every person I talked to tells me that their coaches always focus on what to do.
So they’re just like, here’s your plan, this is what you need to do. Don’t do this, do this over here, boom, done. And they may talk about goals, they may say like, ‘Oh, you want to run faster? Okay, well, here’s what you’re going to do.’ And that’s about it. That’s about as deep as it goes.
But I have to tell you, that there’s this much deeper and much more powerful force at work within you. And I want to help you to tap into that force. When you ignore this powerful force within you. You kind of leave a lot on the table.
And so with me and my clients and the people that I coach and the people that I work with, we work very closely together on creating a vision for who they want to become we really focus on this because here’s the thing, this powerful force within you. This powerful force that is driving you forward, is this it’s that as a human being, you must act consistently with how you define yourself.
And when I say how you define yourself, I’m saying how you define yourself now and how you define who you are becoming in the future. Most people do not spend any time on this at all, most coaches don’t spend any time on this at all. They just said, ‘Oh, you want to run faster, here’s what you need to do.’ And they’re not looking at that internal driving force that’s really powering, whether you’re going to accomplish these goals or not.
So we spend a lot of time working on that vision that we have for ourselves. And everything we do, is focused on getting you closer and closer to that version of yourself. Because when you have a very clear picture of who you want to become, you know, like I said earlier, like, knowing what to do becomes much easier, it’s much easier to stick with it, it’s much easier to see if you’re making progress towards that goal, because you have it all well defined, right?
Most people just never do this work of defining who they are, who they want to become. So most people are operating from what they’ve done in the past. Most people are focused on how things have gone for them in the past, whether they’ve been able to do something or not. And they kind of focus all of this on whether they are able to do this today.
For example, one thing I talk to people about all the time is like, ‘Hey, when you’ve tried in the past to, you know, lose weight, let’s say, what’s not worked for you?’ And they’ll say, ‘Oh, this and this and that. And that’s why it never works for me. And that’s why I can’t do this today. And that’s why I’m stuck here today is because, you know, I’ve tried this in the past, I’ve tried all these different diets, I’ve never been able to stick with anything. I always gained the weight back. Nothing is ever worked for me.’
And they’re stuck in this loop of repeating that exact past, today. Can you relate to this? I think we all can to some degree, where we’ve said, ‘Well, I’ve never been able to make this work in the past. What’s different about today? How can I possibly do anything differently? If it’s never worked for me in the past, I’ve never been able to run faster than this speed for a half marathon, how can I possibly run faster than that? I’ve tried, it’s never worked.’
And all of that stuff in your past, all the experiences, all the failures, all the even all the good stuff like this is just where you were, this is what got you to where you are today. But if you keep focused on your past, that’s where you’re going to stay. If you can’t think feel or behave differently than the way you’ve done things in the past, this is your only frame of reference, then you are going to keep repeating all those same things, those same behaviors, the same thought and feeling patterns, and you’re just going to stay stuck doing the same things over and over again. You’re never going to grow, you’re never going to become anything more than what you’ve already done.
Now, I talked about this in-depth in Episode 91, called Breaking the Habit of Being You. So this is a similar concept here. Okay. So definitely go check out that episode. It really goes into this concept with a lot more detail. But if you can’t think past what you’ve already accomplished, that’s all you’re ever going to accomplish. That’s all you’re ever going to be.
If you can’t think bigger than your past, you’re never going to be bigger than your past. And it’s kind of depressing when you think about it, right? It’s like, oh my god, I better start thinking about my future. Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying here. You’ve got to start thinking about who you want to become. This is such a huge, powerful, amazing, life-changing, transformational question that you have to answer for yourself.
So the better way to do this is to approach your life from the perspective of the future you. You’ve got to ask yourself who you want to become. You have to spend time on this. You have to spend time answering this question in great detail for yourself.
What do you really want for yourself? Do you want to be where you are a year from now? Because that’s an option for you? Or do you want to be stronger, leaner? More fit, healthier? Do you want running to be easier? Or do you want to just be where you are today? The choice is yours. It really is. The first step is defining who you want to be in the future. Who are you becoming? So spend some time on this question. Answer this question in great detail.
Okay. What does that future version of you look like? What have you accomplished? How do you feel about yourself? What are those changes that you want to make to your health and fitness? You know, how do you look in those clothes? How do you look in that bikini, you get to decide, you get to decide, isn’t that awesome? I think that’s amazing. How empowering is that?
So make a decision, have a crystal clear vision of who you are becoming so that you know where you’re going. And every day you make decisions that move you closer and closer to that version of yourself. And I talk about this concept called remembering your future. We remember our past, we’re good at that we can remember all the stuff we’ve done. And all the times we screwed up and all the failures we’ve ever, you know, done in the past. Like, we’re good at remembering our past.
I want you to start remembering your future, you’ve got to know where you’re going. You’ve got to know who you’re becoming. So that you can start doing things today that are in alignment with that future version of yourself. So instead of operating from your past, remembering everything from your past, and repeating all that over and over and over again, start remembering your future, start remembering that future version of yourself that awesome, healthy, badass version of yourself. Start remembering that, spend some time thinking about it.
That’s what it really means to remember, to spend time thinking about it. What does it feel like to be that future version of yourself? And remember that who you are becoming is just, it’s completely up to you, you get to decide, and you get to work towards that every single day. And then it just becomes a series of decisions that you’re making each day.
Am I moving closer to that vision of myself? That future? That person I’m becoming? Or am I moving further away? is usually a pretty cut and dry picture of that, right? It’s usually very clear is this decision I’m making? If I shove these donuts in my mouth right now, is that moving me closer to my goal? Or is it kind of further away? It’s pretty obvious, right?
It’s the difference between just keep repeating what you’ve done in the past and only getting where you’ve gotten to and staying stuck where you are, versus creating this new version of yourself, reinventing yourself transforming yourself based on who you want to become in the future.
Okay. Like I said, my clients and I, we spend a lot of time on this, we talk about it all the time, it’s so important to be future-focused, we don’t really dwell on the past. In fact, the past is just done, it’s over with you can’t change it. So just put it behind you.
It doesn’t matter what you’ve not been able to do in the past, it doesn’t matter that you’ve tried every diet and they’ve never worked for you. We’re going to try something different. You know, and we’re going to get you there. There’s no reason why we can’t make something work going forward. No reason. Unless you’re focused on what you’ve not been able to do in the past.
So everything we do, we want to focus on becoming that amazing, badass version of ourselves, right? Spend time on this, spend time thinking about this. Spend time, like thinking about who it is you want to become but really how that how you want to feel? How do you want to feel in the future? What does that future version of you feel like?
This is one of the most important questions you can ask yourself some of the most important work you can do for yourself. It really sets the foundation for everything that you do. If you don’t have this question figured out if you don’t have a clear picture of who you want to become – you’re just kind of like going through the motions. You’re sort of aimless, right, a rudderless ship, we don’t want to be a rudderless ship, we want to want to have that rudder going, keeping us moving in the right direction, okay?
You’ve got to get you got to practice this. But when you practice it and you keep living into that future version of yourself, you get good at it, just like anything else that you practice you the more you practice it, the more it becomes the reality that you want for yourself. But you’ve got to start thinking about it and start feeling it and really living into who you’re becoming.
And then it just becomes inevitable. Getting there is just like, ‘Oh, of course, I’m going to get there because it’s just this is who I am and this is what I do.’ Remember, you always get what you focus on. You always get more and more of what you focus on. So focus on who it is that you really want to become. Cool. You got this, my friends.
And listen if you ever want a little help out with this just go over to runningleanpodcast.com/apply and let’s talk about hitting that easy button on all this for you. Alright love you all keep on Running Lean, and I’ll talk to you soon.
If you’re a runner and you’ve been struggling to lose weight or you keep losing and gaining the same 10 pounds over and over again. Or you’re finally ready to get to your natural weight and stay there for good this time then I have something you will love. I’ve created a powerful new training just for you called running lean for life. You’ll learn exactly how to transform yourself into a lean fat-burning running machine. So you can run without bonking, lose weight without calorie counting and develop the habits required to make it last for life. To get this free training right now go to runningleanpodcast.com/leanforlife and start your transformation today.
One of the most important principles that I teach here on the podcast, and work on with my clients is the principle of becoming the best, healthiest, most badass version of yourself. This is not …
Continue Reading about 91. Breaking the Habit of Being You →
My name is Patrick McGilvray, and I’m an experienced marathoner, ultra runner, Sports Nutritionist, Master Life Coach, and weight loss coach for runners. I’ve dedicated my life to helping runners just like you properly fuel your body and your mind. So you can get leaner, get stronger, run faster, and run longer than you ever thought possible. This is Running Lean.
Hey there, and welcome to episode 91 of Running Lean. My name is Patrick McGilvray, the weight loss coach for runners, and today we’re talking about breaking the habit of being you. One of the most important principles that I teach here on the podcast and one of the most important principles that I work on with my clients is the idea of becoming the best, the healthiest the most badass version of yourself.
And this is not meant to imply that there’s anything wrong with who you are right now, it just means that you have the desire to become more. That means that who you are right now is not the finish line, that you’re not done learning and growing and evolving. So in this episode, I’m going to show you how more than anything else your habits are responsible for who you have become up to this point in your life.
And if you want to change who you become in the future, it requires breaking the habit of being you strap in for this one, because it’s going to challenge you to think about yourself in a whole new way.
But first, if you like this podcast, please come check out the Running Lean podcast community on Facebook. This is a community of like-minded people who share their experience, their expertise at times their strength, their encouragement, their motivation, their positivity. And it gives you a voice. It’s a place where you can ask questions and get answers.
So the podcast and the Facebook group go hand in hand, just search for Running Lean community on Facebook and come over there and join in the fun, I do some weekly trainings over there. On Sunday afternoons, we do a little live and we have a lot of fun doing it. Love to see you over there.
And then here’s another five-star review of the Running Lean podcast. This one’s from Apple’s mama who says, “Continual and incremental steps for real results. This is my go-to podcast to listen to while running. Patrick teaches not only mindset but also actionable and incremental steps for continual health improvement. Thank you, Patrick.”
Well, thank you Apple’s mama for sharing that I really do appreciate it. And the reason I read these reviews and I encourage you to leave a review is because it helps me to know that I’m on track with the message that I’m sharing with you guys. So I so so appreciate that.
And then if you’re interested in digging a little bit deeper and getting a little bit more people asking how they can work with me. And one way of doing that is by joining the Running Lean coaching group. And so each week we do a different each week, we have a weekly group Zoom call where you can ask questions and get answers and, and on those calls. I do some teaching and training and coaching.
And each month we have a different focus in this month of September, we’ve been doing fat- and how to become a fat-adapted runner. And next month in October, we’re talking all about strength and flexibility. So that’s going to be the focus of our coaching and training for the month of October, building strength becoming more flexible as a runner.
Running injuries are so common upwards of like 56% of recreational runners experienced some sort of an injury every year. So injuries are very preventable though. Okay, so I’ve got some special guests coming in. I’m going to be doing some teaching and coaching on this topic. But I got some special guests coming in to share their thoughts and ideas and teach you how to get stronger, how to become more flexible.
We’re going to talk about exercises, different modalities that you can use for strength and flexibility so that you can become a stronger more powerful runner and keep running injury-free. Just go to runningleanpodcast.com/join and we’ll see you over there in the Running Lean coaching group. We have a lot of fun over there by the way.
And then you can always work with me one on one I’m a coach, this is what I do. Working with me one on one is probably the best way to get the results that you’re looking for. You know what we’ll look at your goals we’ll set actionable steps to help you get to those goals. And I can help you become the most badass version of yourself.
This is what I do. I love doing this I really do. And it kind of goes along with what I’m talking about today which is becoming a different version of you. You know if who you are up to this point is not where you want to stop like if you think there’s more than you want for yourself have one on one coaching is probably the best way to help get you there. And to apply for coaching, just go to runningleanpodcast,com/apply, you and I will jump on a Zoom together, we’ll talk about the coaching program and see if this is a good fit for you.
Alright, let’s get into this topic today because I’m so excited about this. So one of the most influential books I’ve ever read is a book by Dr. Joe Dispenza. And the book is titled breaking the habit of being yourself. And so that’s kind of where I got the title of this episode from.
So I’m going to take some of the things that he talks about in the book and sort of, I’ve kind of like, tweaked this over the years to kind of fit in with my coaching style and with the principles that I teach.
But these are concepts that have been around for a while. And I first read this book several years ago, and the book just had a profound impact on me, it really changed my life, it really showed me that who I am today is just a result of habitual thinking and habitual emotional responses and habitual behaviors. Okay?
And that if you want to create a different version of you’ve got to start, firstly, you have to understand, like what you’ve become up to this point and how you got here, then you can start to kind of dismantle that and break those old habits and start becoming the new version of yourself, okay. But more than just about any other book I’ve ever read, this thing has helped me to become who I am today. And so I’m going to be sharing my thoughts about today, what it means to break the habit of being you. Okay?
So we humans, we’re creatures of habit. Like we love doing the same things over and over and over again. And if you’re an older adult, you know, not old, but if you are an experienced adult, let’s put it that way. If you have some experience being an adult, then you’ve probably been doing the same things for decades, right? You’ve got the same routines, the same work, you’ve been doing the same relationships, the same way you interact with your family, like, we approach everything the way that we just have. And this is just what we do, right? This is who we are now, this is what we believe this is how we think this is how we feel.
And so our habits make up the majority of what we do, how we think how we feel. And so we’ve basically become our habits. Who we are today is just a set of repeated thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. And most of these things we do unconsciously, we’re not even aware that we’re thinking, feeling, and doing what we think, feel, and do on a regular basis, okay.
But here’s the thing, if you want to change who you are, like if you want to become somebody else, if you want to become a different version of yourself in the future, if you want to make positive changes in your life, if you want to lose weight, if you want to run a faster marathon, if you want to run an ultra marathon, you want to run your first 5k, you want to become a runner, whatever it is that you want for yourself, whatever is challenging you could be you wanting a new relationship, or you want a better career, you want to start your own business, whatever big thing you want for yourself, you have to change who you are today to get there.
You have to break the old habit of being you that you’ve become up to this point, you have to start creating a whole new version of yourself. So don’t worry, I’m going to break down kind of how we do this and what this looks like. Okay, I know this might sound a little out there right now.
So what is a habit? A habit is just a redundant set of automatic and unconscious thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that you’ve acquired through repetition. It’s just stuff you’ve been doing over and over and over again, it’s the way you’ve been thinking and feeling and responding emotionally to events and the behaviors you’ve been doing.
It’s gotten to the point where you’re not even consciously aware that this is happening right your body does it like you’re doing things and you don’t know when really consciously aware, kind of like when you’re you know, taking a shower, brushing your teeth or something like that, right? It’s sort of an unconscious habit, your body does it better than your mind.
So an example of what this looks like. So a lot of people live their life in the past. And here’s what I mean by that. People wake up and they start thinking about their problems. Right? Your problems are just memories of like past situations, past issues, past stressors, past trauma. So you start each day living in the past. You’re thinking about oh, this thing that happened to me a while back, you know. And we call these things problems, or memories, whatever it is, you’re consciously back there in the past. So you start each day just like living in the past. And each one of these past memories has an emotion tied to it.
So you immediately begin your day feeling. Maybe you’re really feeling the unhappiness or the hurt or their unworthiness or the stress or the anger that you experienced in the past, just thinking about that situation now brings up the same emotional response, right? How you think and feel, creates your present state of being who you are, in this moment, is a result of how you’re thinking and feeling right now.
And most people start their day feeling all these negative emotions from the past. And so they’re just living in the past, your familiar past, the thing that you know, that you keep repeating over and over and over again, in your mind becomes who you are today. And it just goes on and on. And your familiar past becomes your predictable future.
So who you were in the past, you’re just going to continue to create more and more of that. You just become more and more of who you already are. You can’t go beyond who you used to be. You can’t get beyond who you are up to this point. Because that’s all you know. And that’s what you’re ruminating on. And that’s what you’re thinking about. And that’s the emotions that you’re experiencing right now. So your emotional state right now is the past.
And all you can think about is the future for your future is how you’re feeling right now. When all your feelings and all of your thoughts and your whole being is focused on who you used to be in the past like that’s who you are right now, that’s just going to be what you keep creating more and more and more for yourself, okay? This is what it looks like to be stuck in the habit of being you.
Now listen, there’s nothing wrong with this, it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person, or you’re doing something wrong. This is the way most of us have just kind of conditioned ourselves to operate in, it’s okay. But if you want something more for yourself, if you want to continue to learn and grow and evolve and become that badass version of yourself that I always like to say that phrase, I love it, becoming the most badass version of yourself. If that’s what you want for yourself, then you’ve got to break this habit of being who you are today, you got to get out of being who you are so that you can become more.
I told you, you’re gonna have to strap in for this one because it’s mind-blowing, right? Here’s a crazy stat – 95% of who you are, by the time you’re 35 years old, it’s just a memorized set of repeated thoughts, emotional reactions, beliefs, behaviors, attitudes, actions. 95% of who you are.
So you might be saying to yourself, you know, well, I want to lose weight. So I’m gonna change once and for all, but you’re like, only 5% of you is sort of onboard with making this change. Because 95% of you is still stuck on the repeated unconscious habits of who you believe yourself to be today. You’ve become your habits, you’ve become your habitual thinking and feeling. Here’s what this looks like, you have an emotional reaction to something, let’s say you get angry about something. And you allow that emotional reaction to last for hours or sometimes days. And you call this a mood, right? Oh, I’m in a mood. Yeah, this thing happened five days ago. So I’m still in a bad mood about it. I’m still angry about it.
It’s just like one long drawn-out emotional response to an event. And if you keep this up, if you keep up this mood for weeks or months, then it becomes your temperament. Oh, yeah, he’s got a temperament. You know he’s just in that mood most of the time. But when it goes on for years, it just becomes your personality, like, oh, yeah, that person, they’re their personality. They’re just an angry person. Right?
And this is because you just keep replaying these past experiences. Why would you keep reliving negative past experiences? Why do you keep doing this? One of the reasons we do it is that you’re kind of addicted to it, you’re addicted to the chemicals released in the response, the emotions you’re feeling.
So when you have an emotional response to something, let’s say you get really resentful about something. Okay. Let’s say you have a super stressful event happen in your life. Like, your husband says he’s leaving you for his secretary. Okay, this is a huge stressful event. And you release you know, you get very emotional about it. And when you get very emotional there’s going to be emotions like anger and hurt, and, you know, resentment. And, you know, you’re gonna want to don’t want to hurt somebody, you know, like you get all fired up about this right?
Well with that emotional response comes this release of hormones and chemicals in your brain like cortisol and adrenaline it gives you this like rush of chemicals, okay? So every time you relive this experience in your mind, it’s just like it’s happening all over again. So you have the same emotional response, just by thinking about, you know, your husband, with that secretary will get you all fired up again, it gets you all angry again, it gets you all resentful again.
And to your brain, it feels like it’s happening right now all over again. And so you get the same chemical response that happens, the same chemicals get released. And you get that rush that you get from the adrenaline and the cortisol and all these other things, right? Your mind doesn’t know that the situation happened years ago. It just thinks it’s happening right now.
When you imagine something really vividly, and you really feel it emotionally. It’s like it’s happening right now, your brain doesn’t know the difference. So you’d think it really makes sense to release the anger and resentment don’t hold on to that stuff, right? But we do we keep replaying these situations in our minds, even though they make us feel terrible, but we do it because we’re sort of, we’ve sort of programmed ourselves to want that chemical reaction.
We want to feel the chemicals, even though it’s a negative experience, we still want that chemical response. Okay, this is kind of why we keep reliving these past negative emotional experiences, all right. And I hope you’re not thinking that this is all super depressing right now. Because it’s not meant to be, I just want you to see how your brain and your body work together, I want you to see mostly how your brain is sort of keeping you stuck where you are, and how you might feel like you can never get anywhere.
Or maybe you feel like you can’t make any progress toward a goal, I just want you to understand that it’s not necessarily like your fault, or you don’t have any willpower, or it’s too hard for you, and you can’t do it, it’s never gonna work for you. It’s nothing like that at all.
It’s just your brain doing what it does, you sort of conditioned yourself, you know, to become this certain version of you, and no matter how much you think about wanting to break out of that, you know, you just can’t seem to do it.
Okay, in order to break that habit of being you. It’s important that you understand how you got here in the first place. So that’s why I’m sort of breaking this down this way. Okay. You have to start looking at all the habitual things that you’ve been thinking, feeling, and doing for years. So that when you put all these things together, you have what we call you, like you’ve become what we call the person that is you today, right?
So there’s bad news and good news. The bad news is that you’ve been living a familiar past. And if you keep doing it, you’re just going to create the same predictable future, who you are today is who you’re going to be tomorrow. And not much will ever change for you.
The good news is now you understand what’s happening, and you can do something about it. Right? It’s like seeing the matrix, once you take the red pill, you can never go back. Now you can make a conscious choice to do something about it. You don’t have to be stuck here. That’s the good news. Right, you can do something to change.
So what do we do to change is how do we begin to break the habit of being ourselves in the moment, right? How do we become that different version of ourselves? And this is a great question. And in the book, Dr. Joe Dispenza talks about a daily meditation practice, okay, where you practice, being in the present moment, and you practice imagining the future that you want for yourself, you imagine the person that you want to become that you might be thinking, I don’t know about this? Hoo, ha, hokey, meditation stuff, whatever.
But listen, when you imagined something really vividly like I was saying earlier, your brain doesn’t know that it’s just something you imagined, you subconsciously believe that this is happening to you right now. Visualization exercises are super powerful and a lot of professional athletes practice some sort of mental imagery or visualization before any sort of big event.
And they’ve done these experiments with athletes and this one that I found to be very fascinating was the free-throw experiment. So there was an Australian psychologist named Alan Richardson. And he wanted to prove that mental imagery or visualization was beneficial in improving athletic performance. So he did this study, and he took three different groups of college students.
And they were going to practice free throws, you know, to show how they could improve their free-throw shooting on the basketball court. So the first group practice basketball, free throws for 20 minutes a day, for 20 straight days. And then the second and third groups only shot free throws on the first day and the last day of the 20 day period.
However, the second group spent 20 minutes a day, visualizing shooting, free throws, so they didn’t actually pick up a basketball except for the first and last day. But they spent each day visualizing themselves shooting free throws. And the results were fascinating.
So the first group, the people who actually practiced shooting, the free throws for 20 minutes a day for 20 days, improved by 24%, from the first day to the last day. The third group, you know, this is the so the first group improved 24% over the third group who did nothing, they did not practice at all, they just shot on the first day in the last day, and they didn’t make any improvements at all.
But the second group, the mental imagery group, the one that’s like just did the visualization for 20 minutes a day improved 23%, almost the exact same amount as the ones that actually shot the free throws. This is fascinating to me. So it just goes to show you that your brain can actually you can create new neural pathways by just visualizing doing something.
And they’ve done other experiments with people doing like piano drills, like people that don’t know how to play the piano. And they found that just visualizing themselves, like practicing piano drills, fingering drills, like they can actually get as good as people that actually practice every day.
So anyway, very fascinating stuff. So an example of visualization is to imagine yourself like crossing the finish line of your marathon and hitting your PR, like, let’s say, this is a goal for you, like you want to hit, you know, you want to break a four-hour marathon or something like that, right?
You have to visualize that that is really happening for you right now in this moment. And to do it, you need to do it in vivid detail, right, you need to use all your senses. So you know, the way you could do this, is you kind of close your eyes and spend a little bit of time just kind of relaxing, and then all of a sudden you are approaching the finish line and you’re in your body, you’re seeing this through your eyes, you see the crowd, you see the time on the clock.
You see the photographers up ahead of you, you hear the crowd cheering, you hear them calling your name, you hear the loud rock music playing, you can smell and taste the sweat on your lips, and you feel the soreness in your body and the rush of adrenaline. And then you feel this flood of emotions you feel accomplishment, pride and relief, and joy and ecstasy.
And this vivid visceral mental imagery exercise is going to wire your brain to think like this is happening for you right now. And it’s going to help you to hit that goal. And this is something that elite athletes do because it gives them an edge. And most runners, they just don’t do this kind of stuff. They’re like yeah, whatever.
But you know what, what I just taught you right there, this can be your secret weapon, this can give you a competitive advantage. Especially if you’re trying to, you know, you’re trying to PR by just a couple of minutes or something like that. This can be the thing that helps you get over the edge. Okay? So don’t dismiss this, do it.
Another way to start breaking the habit of being you is is through journaling exercises and I know what you’re thinking like journaling writing, like a dear diary, and whatever. Patrick a lot of people have a bias against writing and I don’t understand why but I think maybe they just are not used to it right and so maybe they just think it’s hokey or weird or, or just doesn’t work or I don’t know, but it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter if you don’t think it works. I think you should try it anyway.
And writing about your own thoughts and feelings is a very powerful way to make changes in your life. Okay? If done properly, right. And there are two ways that I can think of that you can benefit from a daily writing practice. And listen, these things I’m talking about here, like the visualization and the writing, it’s got to be done daily, like, it’s something you have to do for a while, you can’t just do it once and think, well, I’m good, no, you got to, you got to do it.
So that you’re sort of rewiring those neural pathways in your brain, okay, so it’s something you have to get into the practice of doing on a regular basis. And I promise you, it’s gonna help you it’s going to make changes, it’s going to help you to become a different version of yourself.
Okay. So one way I can think of that writing will help you is to just get all the junk out of your head and onto the page. So you can just start to get all these crazy negative thoughts that are swirling around your head, get them out of your head and onto the piece of paper, right, you can begin to identify thought patterns that are keeping you stuck, you can start to sort out all the habits you’ve created over the years because you can see it, you can see it on the page, right?
Without this self-awareness, it’s really hard to make changes, like without knowing what habits you want to change, you first have to have the self-awareness of what your habits are in the first place. And the easiest way to do this is something I’ve talked about before here, and it’s called the thought download.
So just get everything out of your head and get it onto the page, write it all down, no filter, no analyzing, just do a brain dump, write all the random thoughts that you have, get them on a piece of paper, keep asking yourself, what else? What else? What else as many times as necessary.
And then once you feel like you’ve got it all out of your head, and you can see all your thoughts in front of you on the page, just look over it. Look over what you just wrote, what patterns do you see? What thoughts are like limiting you, holding you back, keeping you stuck? And when you’re armed with this information, you can actually start making changes to break those old habits and start working on who it is you really want to become.
Which leads me to the second way writing can benefit you. So besides just dumping out all of your thoughts, start writing about who it is that you want to become. So this is similar to the visualization exercise, you know, but you’re going to do it by writing about it instead of like just closing your eyes and imagining it. They’re both very powerful. And if you do both of them, it’s even more powerful.
So write about like, who do you want to become? What does she look like? How does she act? How does she feel about herself? What has she accomplished this future version of you? How does she show up for others? What big goals is she focused on? What fears and obstacles has she overcome?
How is this future version of you more motivated? How is she more confident? How is she more excited about her life? What is she more excited about? Write it all out, get it in as much vivid detail as you can, and really feel what it would feel like to be that future version of yourself to be the healthiest, the best, the most badass version of yourself and write it all down.
And by the way, when we talk about doing writing exercises like this, this is just for you, you don’t have to share them with anyone else. And if you’re concerned about somebody seeing this stuff, just throw away the page when you’re done, burn it, shred it, type it into a document and then delete the document, whatever you need to do, you don’t have to like keep the stuff around.
I just happen to do all my writing in these notebooks. And I just throw them in a drawer when I’m done. And eventually, my drawers get full of these notebooks and I just pitch them like it’s no big deal. I live alone too. So it doesn’t matter. Nobody’s reading any of my stuff.
So when it comes to breaking the habit of being you, some of the best things you can do to change that. Number one is you have to have the awareness of how you’ve become you. You want to understand the habits, the emotional responses, the living in the past, the feelings, the thoughts, the repeated behaviors that all add up to become who you are today.
And then doing this, this meditation or visualization, mental imagery exercises, the journaling exercises, these are amazing ways to start deconditioning yourself of becoming who you are and helping you to condition yourself to become someone else to break out of the habit of being the past version of you. That version of you that feels stuck here. And to start creating a better, more badass future version of you. I want to encourage you guys to try this. I think it would be an incredibly powerful thing for you to do.
Alright, remember October is strength and flexibility month over in the Running Lean coaching group. We’re going to be talking about building strength and becoming more flexible. I’ve got some special guests I’m going to be bringing into the group to share some stuff with you. Just go to runningleanpodcast.com/join. And I hope you got something out of this episode today. If you did, please consider sharing it with a friend. And as always, I love you all. Keep on Running Lean. Talk to you soon.
If you’re a runner and you’ve been struggling to lose weight or you keep losing and gaining the same 10 pounds over and over again. Or you’re finally ready to get to your natural weight and stay there for good this time then I have something you will love. I’ve created a powerful new training just for you called running lean for life. You’ll learn exactly how to transform yourself into a lean fat-burning running machine. So you can run without bonking, lose weight without calorie counting and develop the habits required to make it last for life. To get this free training right now go to runningleanpodcast.com/leanforlife and start your transformation today.
