There is no lack of knowledge in the world we live in today. Just about every bit of knowledge that’s ever been known to humankind is available to us in our hands, on our phones, in just a few …
262. Forget the New Year’s Resolutions and Do This Instead
It’s the start of a new year and lots of people are making New Year’s resolutions. I’ve seen all kinds of posts on social media over the last few days from people saying they are going to run every …
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261. Replay: How Your Thinking (More Than Anything Else) Determines Your Results
When it comes to fitness, so much attention is put on your actions - what you should and shouldn’t do. Eat this, not that. Lift this way, not that. Train like this, not that. I’m not suggesting …
Podcast Transcript
My name is Patrick McGilvray, and I’m an experienced marathoner, ultra runner, Sports Nutritionist, Master Life Coach, and weight loss coach for runners. I’ve dedicated my life to helping runners just like you properly fuel your body and your mind. So you can get leaner, get stronger, run faster, and run longer than you ever thought possible. This is Running Lean.
Hey there, and welcome to episode 261 of Running Lean. My name is Patrick McGilvray, The Weight Loss Coach for Runners, and today is a replay of How Your Thinking (More Than Anything Else) Determines Your Results.
So when it comes to fitness, so much attention is put on your actions, what you should do and what you shouldn’t do, eat this, not that lift this way, not that train like this, not that. And I’m not suggesting that you shouldn’t do stuff.
Of course, you got to do stuff if you want to get results, but I think you need to stop focusing all of your attention on actions and start paying much more attention to your thinking. It’s your thinking that determines whether you stick to a plan or not. It’s your thinking that keeps you going when the going gets tough.
So in this episode, it’s all about how your thinking, more than anything else, really determines your results. But first, I’ve got something exciting to share with you guys. I’ve created a brand new coaching and training program, and this is going to entail personalized running plans to help you hit all of your running goals in 2025.
This plan is available right now. So whether you’re a beginner runner and you want to do a couch to 5k program, or you’re an advanced runner and you want to crush your fastest marathon or ultra marathon, or anything in between, I’ve got a training plan for you.
You’ll get a custom training plan. This is what’s different between a lot of other running coaching plans that you find out there on the internet, where you just download a training plan, you’re going to fill out a pretty extensive questionnaire that’s going to answer a lot of questions about how you like to train, what you’re training for.
You know, what days of the week you like to run? Like what days do you like to do your long runs? So a lot of information that I’m going to gather from you, and then I will put together a customized training plan for you, so you can pick between a 12 week plan (three months), a 16 week plan (four months), or a 20 week plan (five months).
And these just depend on what race you want to train for and what distance, typically the shorter distances, 5k, 10k, half-marathon, will be 12 week plans, 16 week plans for marathons, 20 week plans for ultra marathons.
And some of the benefits of having a personalized training plan and coaching from me are that you’re going to learn how to become a stronger, faster runner. You’re going to improve your power, your speed, your endurance, you’re going to learn how to train smarter so you can avoid injury and burnout. Nobody wants that.
You’re going to learn how to fuel and hydrate properly for training and for race day, you’re going to train more consistently so you make more progress and get better results overall. You’re going to have someone there (me) holding you accountable so you’re more likely to stay on track.
You’re going to be getting feedback on all of your training runs, so you’re going to get that support of an experienced running coach guiding you every step of the way, and you’re going to benefit from an outsider’s perspective. So I can spot weaknesses in your training. I can spot areas that need improvement.
A lot of times, when you’re doing this stuff on your own, you’re just going through the motions, and you have no feedback on how you’re doing, I’ll be able to look at things, you know, pretty objectively, so that I can make some suggestions on your training and how to improve. And then we’ll put together a comprehensive race strategy for you for your spring race, or whatever time of the year you happen to be running your race, and you’re going to have somebody there that’s encouraging you, motivating you, cheering you on.
And you can find all the information and get yourself signed up. Just go to my website, runningleancoaching.com, at the very top of the page, you’re gonna see a link to Run Coaching. Just click on that and get yourself signed up.
You’re gonna fill out a questionnaire, and then I’ll get your training plan over to you, and you and I are gonna connect. We’re gonna do all of our communication via messaging, and I’ll be able to share lots of great information with you and give you feedback on all your training runs. So go to my website, runningleancoaching.com, click on Run Coaching at the very top of the page, and you can read all the information, and it’ll explain and answer all your questions.
If you still have questions, there’s a place where you can reach out to me on there, but I look forward to seeing you in my new running coaching program, and it’s called the Running Lean Training Project.
So if you want, you know, to really be able to crush your races this this whole year, you know, whether it’s in the spring, summer or fall, go have a look at the website, runningleancoaching.com, click on Run Coaching and lets you and I start working to get you to your goals.
Cool, all right, so today I wanted to talk about some mindset stuff, and I went back through some of my older episodes to see what I’ve talked about and what I haven’t talked about. And I really wanted to talk about this idea that your thinking really determines your results.
And I realized this is one of the very first episodes I did back when this was called The Running Mind podcast, because I was going to really just focus on mindset at the beginning of this whole journey of mine. And I realized that I had a lot of great information in this podcast already, so I’m just going to replay it for you here.
This is also the time of the year when I’m trying to take a little bit of time off and not doing as much podcasting and coaching and things like that. So this is a good one to put out there as a replay for you guys, because there’s a lot of good information in here, and it’s really going to go over how your thinking really determines what actions you take and don’t take, and the results that you end up getting, whether you’re trying to lose weight or get stronger or improve your running, your mindset has a lot to do with that. A lot, a lot a lot to do with that.
In fact, I would say it is probably the most important thing that you can work on, that mental fitness. And this is something that with all of my coaching clients, my private coaching clients, who were, you know, when we’re working on weight loss and, you know, strength training and improving running, that the mindset stuff we work on is probably the most important work that we do together.
And the biggest changes that people make, the biggest shifts that people make is in their mindset, and that’s what determines, you know, whether they’re going to be successful or not. So it’s one thing to know what to do, oh yeah, I should be training this way, or I need to run this many days a week, or whatever. But it’s another thing to actually have the mindset of like, This is who I am. This is what I do. This is a part of me now. This is how I live my life now.
So this is so vitally important. So I hope you get something out of this episode. This one’s, you know, for you guys to help you, you know, get into that right frame of mind as we, you know, round out the this year. As 2024 we’re coming to the end of 2024 and we’re about to start a new year. So your mindset is incredibly important. So have a listen to this one. Let me know your thoughts on this, and as always, I love you all. Keep on Running Lean and I will see you soon.
Okay, so today, we’re going to be talking about how you’re thinking more than anything else determines your results. Now we want to do a quick little recap from last week, in case you’re brand new to the podcast that this is your first time listening. Or if you just want a quick little recap, you know, like when you’re watching Netflix and they’re like, here’s what happened last week on you know, whatever it is and then they show you and you’re like oh yeah, I forgot about that. Well, that’s what I’m going to do here for you. Okay, so here’s what happened last week on The Running Mind podcast.
So you sit, you ration the circumstances in your life, the stuff that’s happening around you, is neutral, it’s always in neutral. It’s your thoughts about your situation that cause you to feel the feelings inside, okay? So you know, if you get a flat tire on your way to work, the flat tire doesn’t cause you to be pissed off. Okay, it’s your thoughts about getting the flat tire that caused the emotions, okay.
And then your thoughts about a particular situation will be different depending on how you experience the world. So whatever your model of the world it is, which is based on your past experiences, your beliefs, your values, your religious views, and on and on, these are all filters that we use to kind of, it’s how we perceive the world around us. And they’re different for everyone.
So we each have our own model of the world. We each experience, quote, unquote, reality differently. Okay, the way you interpret the circumstances in your life, that is your reality, the way that I interpret the circumstances in my life, that is my reality. So we each have a kind of a different reality. We call this the model of the world, your model of the world.
But the empowering part about this is that you get to create your own reality, and everyone else does, too. So what you actually think is like, just the way it is, isn’t the same for me, it’s not the same for everybody else. Just the way it is, is the way it is for you. Okay.
And an example I gave was like, if you are running a marathon, and you get a cramp in your calf at mile 18 and it hurts, and you have to stop and walk. So that’s just a circumstance, that’s just what is happening. You can choose for it to mean nothing, no big deal. I’m going to finish a little bit slower than I thought. Or you can choose it to mean, I’m an utter failure. I can’t, you know, ever be successful at running a marathon. I can’t believe I had to walk. I’m a terrible person. I’m unworthy.
Yeah, the cramp in your leg is not causing those feelings. Okay? This is what you’re thinking about it. All right. So situations are always neutral. There’s just circumstances in your life, your thoughts, you get to choose your thoughts. That’s your thinking, which causes you to feel emotions, and emotions are those one word things like anger, sadness, fear, frustration, disappointment, even like joy, happiness, confidence, love. These are all emotions that we feel based on how we think.
Okay, then today, we’re going to fill in the last two pieces of this puzzle, which is actions and results, okay. So your thinking causes your feelings, your feelings, determine your actions, okay? And then your actions, the actions that you take, determine the results that you get. Okay?
So let’s talk a little bit about actions. Actions, our actions are the stuff you do. Actions are the behaviors that you engage in the steps that you take. Actions can also be stuff you don’t do. Now, inaction is a form of behavior, right? Or an action. So every action you take is driven by your feelings.
And you might be thinking, Well, no, I just, you know, I do things because I know I have to or whatever, but think about this for a second. Have you ever gone out? And just like you went for like a 10 mile run? And you’re like, I don’t know, when I did that, I just felt like it. Right? Or if you’re, if you’re Forrest Gump, and it’s like, why have you been running for so long? I don’t know. I just felt like running.
Or maybe you were supposed to go out for a training run and it was like cold and rainy and you’re like, I don’t really feel like it today. So your feelings about the situation are determining what you’re going to do or not do? Okay? Another example is like, people with depression, they often don’t feel like doing anything, you know, and hear me out on this like depression is a diagnosed mental disorder. And I’m not saying it’s something you can just turn on and off with your thinking.
But, you know, depression is caused by things like you know, it’s biological, psychological and social sources of distress cause depression, the definition. You know, the Google definition of depression is a mental health disorder characterized by persistently depressed mood or loss of interest in activities, causing significant impairment in daily life. In other words, if you have depression, you don’t feel like doing anything. You have a lot of loss of interest in activities.
And I’m not saying this is all there is to it, but it’s part of it. It’s part of the equation of depression. But think about this for a minute. If you’re feeling lonely, if you’re feeling sad, or depressed or unworthy, how are you going to show up in the world? What actions are you more likely to take? Or what are you not going to do?
You know, how are you going to show up for work? For your partner, for your kids? What behaviors good or bad do you think you’ll partake in? If you’re feeling lonely, sad, depressed and unworthy? My guess is that you’re probably going to take some negative actions, you’re gonna engage in some negative behaviors, you probably make some poor choices, you might even, you know, start doing some escape-ism stuff, you know, checking out and numbing.
But what if you felt differently inside? Like, what if you felt feelings of confidence? What if you felt feelings of contentment, of peace? What if you were grateful and happy? How would these feelings determine your actions? What do you think you would do if you felt that way?
You know, what actions would you be more likely to take? And then think about how you would show up for work if you were feeling that way? How would you show up for your partner or for your kids? How would you show up for your training runs? What do you think you would do or not do?
So it’s so important to understand that, you know, everything that we do, we do because we are feeling a certain way. And a lot of times, you know, there’s things we do, because we don’t want to feel that way anymore. So this is like in painful situations. We can engage in some, you know, I call it like escapist or escapism, numbing behaviors, you know, overeating, drinking too much. lethargy, you know, spending money.
A lot of people, you know, shop, they have that shopping addiction. And I’m not making fun of that, but I saw this meme recently that I thought was pretty funny. And at the top of it, it just said, you know, therapist says, “Now, what do we say when we’re feeling sad?” And then the patient says, “Add to Cart”. The therapist was like, “No”.
But it’s true, it makes us feel good, we get that little hit of dopamine when we purchase something, or when we, you know, have that drink, or take that particular drug or eat the french fries, and the burger and the milkshake. You know, it makes us feel good temporarily. It does help us to not feel the feelings of pain or sadness, or loneliness, or unworthiness or whatever.
And it does work, it works for a minute, it kind of makes the pain go away temporarily, but then when that little buzz wears off, the pain is back. And then it becomes worse, because now we beat ourselves up about engaging in this bad behavior. And then the cycle just continues. So our feelings can really determine that our feelings really determine our actions.
And we have to be careful about the kinds of actions we take when we’re feeling certain ways, okay. And then these behaviors that we engage in can become habits after a while, and they can actually form new neural pathways in our brains. And so they can become easier to do over you know, over time, they become easier and easier to do these things, they become habits, and they become part of our subconscious.
And this can be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on the behavior. Okay. So just to kind of summarize what I’m talking about with actions, your actions are the things we do or don’t do, they are the behaviors we engage in, or don’t engage in, they are good or bad behaviors. And then it’s our actions that actually determine all of our results. Okay.
So results are the things that you get in your life, or the things that you want in your life. These are usually tangible and measurable. So results can be things like, hey, I ran a half marathon and under two hours, that’s a tangible measurable result. I lost 10 pounds. I got a promotion at work. I made $100,000 last year, these are all tangible, measurable results.
Something like there’s a little bit of a gray area, but it’s like I have a great relationship with my partner. So that could be an opinion. But you could quantify that by saying, like, oh, we communicate clearly and openly and regularly, we work through all of our issues. You know, we spend quality time together, we speak each other’s love languages, that could be a measurable way of saying that that is a result that you have, okay, but every result that you get in your life is determined by action you’ve taken or your inaction, okay?
So what you do, or don’t do, determines what you get, or don’t get. And if you want different results in your life, if you want something to change, you have to take different actions, right, the definition of insanity, that’s doing the same things over and over and over expecting different results.
And the crazy thing is like, we all do this, we’ve all done this at some point in our life, right? You know, I just, I’m going to keep training the same way, every season for my marathon, and I’m not getting any faster. And it’s still way, super hard. But I’m not changing my diet, I’m not changing my training plan, I’m not doing anything different. And I keep getting the same results. Why is this happening to me?
It’s like, Hey, you gotta switch some stuff up, right? But what we do, determines what we get. And what we do is driven by how we feel. So if you want to change your actions, you’re going to have to change how you feel. First, you have to change the emotions that you’re feeling. And since your thoughts determine your feelings, you’re gonna have to change your thinking first. So basically, what I’m saying here is if you want different results in your life, you have to change your thinking, Okay?
How you’re thinking more than anything else is going to determine your results, how you think about your situation, or how you think about, you know, whether you can do this thing or not, you know, if you think I remember when I sign up for my Ironman, that was a big deal for me back then. I was scared to death.
I hit the, you know, submit button when I paid for it, which was like $700, by the way. So there was fear. And there was like, a sense of like, am I doing the right thing here? But anyway, I was full of fear, like, can I do this? Can I accomplish this really hard thing? I mean, it’s a crazy event, you know?
And so I had to change my thinking, at some point, I had to sort of become an Ironman, like I had to, you know, get into the thinking of like, Yes, I can do this, in order for me to get those results. Because if I thought the whole time, like, there’s no way I can do this, there’s no way I can do this. There’s no way I can do this.
Guess what? When I show up at the starting line, my habitual thought patterns and feelings around this are all going to be I can’t do this. That’s a terrible way to approach something like that. So instead, I had this thought of like, I’m going to do this, I am going to do this, I can do this. You know, I was still nervous and fearful and things like that. But I pushed through that. I thought and felt in my heart that I could do it. And I did. Okay, so here’s a great question. Ask yourself, what do you want? Seriously, what do you want? See, very powerful question. And unfortunately, we don’t really take it very seriously. But think about it, like maybe you want to run a full marathon someday.
Or maybe you want to start your own business. But you’re thinking like, I could never do a full marathon like, I’m just I’m not capable of that. Or I would love to start my own business, but it just seems so complicated. I just don’t know enough. You know, or maybe what you want is a better relationship with your husband, or you want that promotion at work or you want to start your own business or you want to hike the Appalachian Trail you want to vacation in Italy.
Or you want to spend a month on a tiny island in the middle of the South Pacific. Seriously, that’s what I want. I want to spend a month on some remote little island in the middle of the South Pacific Ocean. That’s what I want. But think about it, like what do you want in your life? Start asking yourself that question seriously, and figure out the answer, figure out what it is that you want. Because it’s a very, very important question.
So I’m going to give you guys a little writing exercise this week. And this is going to help you to see how this all works. I’m gonna give you an example here in a minute, but it’ll help you to see how this works. But it will also help you to start in creating some new realities for yourself and start getting some results that you want. And when you start doing this work on a regular basis, you will start to create better habits, and you’ll start to create those new neural pathways like I was talking about.
So here’s the exercise I want you to do, I want you to think about something that you really, really want, okay? And just write it down. And then write down all the thoughts you have about that thing, just brain dump everything out on the page doesn’t matter, good, bad. Otherwise, just break down everything you’re thinking about. It’s really interesting, when you start doing this, to see what it is, your thoughts are around something like that, you’re going to surprise yourself with what you’re actually thinking.
And then write down how those thoughts make you feel. You know, some might make you feel good, some might make you feel terrible, but just write down the feelings you’re feeling. You know, the emotion words, those one word emotion words. And then think about the actions that you’re taking or not taking because of those feelings. And then are those actions going to get you the result that you want? Are those actions going to get you what you want or not? Okay?
So that is like step one is to write down all that stuff. And then what you want to do is on a separate piece of paper, you know, write down that thing that you want again, but then, you know, write down what you want to think instead, the thoughts that would make you feel differently. You know, a lot of times, it’s going to be kind of the opposite of some of those thoughts that you had that maybe the negative thoughts.
So write down the thoughts you want to think instead. And then write down the emotions that those thoughts cause you to feel. And then write down the actions that one might take, because of those feelings, and then see if that is going to move you closer to that thing that you want. And I think you’re going to find some very interesting results from this. So here’s an example. I want to spend a month on a tiny little tropical island in the middle of the South Pacific. Okay, that’s what I want.
My initial thoughts when I just think about it is, oh, my gosh, that’s gonna be really expensive. I don’t think I can afford it. I don’t know if I can be away from home for that long. I would really want somebody to go with me, but I’m not sure who so I don’t know, do I just go alone? That sounds lame.
And I just don’t know if you guys need to know this or not. I’m going through a divorce right now. It’ll be finalized soon. I’m doing good. I’m doing pretty good through all that. But when I talk about things, like, you know, maybe I should go alone or find somebody to go with me. I’m not cheating on anybody. Just so you know. Okay.
So those thoughts are like, it’s expensive. I don’t know if I could be away from that long. Who should I go? You know, who would want to go with me? Do I just pick a friend? I don’t know. Maybe I go alone? What are those thoughts cause me to feel well, they caused me to feel fear, like financial fear, like, oh my gosh, I don’t know if I can spend that much money. You know, there’s that fear of the unknown of uncertainty.
Then I’m feeling things like loneliness and sadness about it. Because if I go by myself, is that lame? Does that make me feel sad? Maybe? And then what actions would I take? Because of those feelings? Probably nothing, I probably wouldn’t do anything.
And what are you thinking about this right now, as I’m saying this to you? Are you thinking like, do you just go? It’s going to be so much fun. What a fun adventure. I know, that’s what you’re thinking. And I’m kind of thinking that too. And I’m looking at this and going like, I don’t want to feel those feelings. You know, if this is something that’s important to me that I want to do, I need to take some different actions, I need to feel differently, I need to think about it differently.
So the results I would get would be nothing. I wouldn’t go on this trip. I just wouldn’t do it. Now. Piece of paper number two. Let’s say I write the same thing on there. I want to spend a month on a tropical island in the middle of the South Pacific. What thoughts would I want to think instead? Well, first of all, I can probably save money for this. It wouldn’t take that long. You know I can work, get out so that everything is covered from a work perspective, you know, get all that stuff covered. Because I don’t think I’m gonna have access to the internet in this place. I think I just want to be unplugged.
You know, workout, social connections and meetings. And although I can get my schedule figured out, my schedule is flexible on purpose. So I can do things like this. And I bet I could find someone to go with me. I mean, who wouldn’t want to go to a tropical island for a month with me? It would be amazing. Are you kidding me? So oh, my God, he’s so amazing. I could even go alone and just make it an opportunity for me to like, really discover myself. I mean, that sounds right there.
When I say it like that. It’s like, Whoa, that sounds so cool and empowering. And how does that make me feel? Oh, my God, now I’m feeling excited and adventurous. And it sounds like fun. I’m feeling joyful, and even grateful. Grateful for my schedule, grateful for these kinds of opportunities. And I’m even feeling a little bit of fear. But it’s okay. It’s like, it’s fear. But I know, it’s like, the fear of like, of the unknown. And that’s okay, like, I can handle that.
All right, then what actions would I take based on those feelings? Well, oh, my gosh, I’m gonna start planning this thing, I’m gonna start a savings fund, I’m gonna grab a map and start figuring out what island I want to go to and figure out how to get there, gotta take all these little planes or whatever, and I’m going to talk to some friends and find somebody to come with me.
And then, you know, the two of us will start talking about it and planning together and all that into anticipation. And all the planning just sounds so fun. Like, that’s the kind of action that I want to take. And then the result would be that I go on this life changing adventure to this little island, you know, and it all starts with thinking about it differently. You know, so that result that I want in my life, that thing that I want, I can get that and I can see how I can get that by changing my thoughts by changing my feelings and changing my actions.
I feel I want to go on this trip now. I’m gonna have to do that. And like keep you guys posted as to what is happening with that, because this would be amazing. So here’s a quick recap. circumstances in our life, the situations where it’s always neutral. Okay, we get to choose our thoughts about how we feel about each situation, okay, choose our thoughts.
And then our thinking determines our feelings and our emotions, our emotion. Our emotions drive our feelings. I’m sorry, our emotions, drive our actions or inaction. And then those actions determine the results that we get. And if you want different results, you got to change your thinking, okay.
So there’s like five little components to this, these little five things, you learn these five things, and you’re gonna learn how to master your mindset, for running and for life. Okay, I hope you’re seeing how this all fits together. This is the secret to the universe.
Seriously, if you understand this, and you start to really grasp these concepts, and understand how this works, you are going to live a more empowered life, you’re going to start getting what you want in your life. And you’re going to start feeling amazing. And you’re going to start doing amazing things and start getting amazing results. Cool.
You can always drop comments on my posts there too, or send me a message or whatever. I’d love to hear from you. I love connecting with you guys individually. I love hearing how you’re thinking about this stuff and how it’s changing the way you’re thinking and seeing the world. And I would love to hear about the results that you’re getting. Cool. I hope you all have an amazing day. Much love to each and every one of you and I’ll see you next time
254. How Do I Know If I’m Self-Sabotaging?
Just about all of us will eventually engage in some type of self-sabotaging behavior. Most of the time though, you don't know when you’re doing it. Self-sabotage is often confused with failure, …
Continue Reading about 254. How Do I Know If I’m Self-Sabotaging? →
Podcast Transcript
My name is Patrick McGilvray, and I’m an experienced marathoner, ultra runner, sports nutritionist, Master life coach and weight loss coach for runners. I’ve dedicated my life to helping runners just like you, properly fuel your body and your mind so you can get leaner, get stronger, run faster and run longer than you ever thought possible. This is Running Lean.
Hey there, and welcome to Episode 254 of Running Lean. My name is Patrick McGilvray, the weight loss coach for runners and today, How Do I Know If I’m Self Sabotaging? So just about all of us will eventually engage in some type of self sabotaging behavior, eventually, most of the time, though, you probably don’t even know that you’re doing it. Self Sabotage is often confused with failure, with feeling stuck, or maybe even just laziness. It’s actually pretty subtle sometimes, but knowing what it looks like is an important first step in eliminating self sabotage from your life. So in this episode, I’m gonna answer this question, how do I know if I’m self sabotaging so that you can start making progress towards your goals again.
But first, if you’ve ever considered coaching, now is an amazing time to get started for most of us. This is the off season. This is the perfect time to get started with a new diet plan, with a new strength regimen with a renewed love for running and a new running plan if you’re interested in getting leaner, getting stronger, running faster, running longer. Now is a perfect time to get started with that. Coaching is going to give you all the guidance, the knowledge, the direction, the feedback, the support, the accountability that you need to reach your goals. Like I said, it’s a great time to get started, because we are in the off season. Once your training starts in January, then it’s kind of it’s not too late to get started, but you definitely want to have a good leg up on your nutrition plan and your strength plan and your running plan before we start with our marathon, half marathon training in January. So just know that this is a great time to get started. And if you’ve been putting this off, consider coaching. Now. All you got to do is go to my website, runningleancoaching.com, and then click on work with me. When you click on that link, you’re gonna fill out this short little application. She’s got a couple questions on there, and then you and I will get on a zoom call, and we’ll have a conversation. You get to talk to me live. I don’t have anybody else doing this for me. You and I will have a conversation, and we’ll talk about what it would look like, what coaching would look like for you, and how we can get you to those goals, like, what are the different areas we need to work on and what this might look like for you. It doesn’t cost anything to get on this call with me. It’s completely free. I love doing this. I do it all the time. You’re not going to waste anybody’s time. You’ll get something out of the call too. So just go to my website, runningleancoaching.com, click on work with me, and let’s get on a call. We’ll have a conversation about coaching. Cool.
Okay, so this topic is an interesting one, because I had a client recently ask me, like, how do I know if I’m self sabotaging? How do I know that it’s self sabotage, that I’m doing this to myself versus just failing at something, you know? And I thought it was a really good question, and it got me really thinking that, you know, not only could she benefit from us having this conversation, but I think everybody else can too, because I think we all, at some point in our lives, engage in some sort of self sabotaging behavior. I want to, I’m hoping by the end of this episode, that you understand what self sabotaging looks like, so that you can make better decisions and make better choices and start making progress towards your goals.
So self sabotage is one of these things that you might have a goal like to lose weight or to run faster, and you’re making some progress towards that goal. You’re trying to eat healthy, you know, you’re trying to do your speed work. You’re trying to run five days a week. And then the self sabotaging behavior is doing things for that progress. It’s doing things like eating a bunch of cake for dinner when you’re supposed to be eating chicken and broccoli. That’s called self sabotage, because you’re doing something that is not in alignment with your long term goals.
Now there’s a couple of definitions. If you look up the definition of self sabotage, and I’ll read a couple of these definitions, because I think it’s kind of interesting. Self Sabotage refers to behaviors or thought patterns that hold you back and prevent you from doing what you want to do. Self Sabotage is when you consciously or unconsciously undermine your thoughts, dreams, goals and desires. So self sabotage is essentially patterns of thoughts, patterns of behaviors that hold you back, keep you stuck or prevent you from reaching your goals.
And I’m going to kind of distill this down into this, any action that you’re taking that is not in alignment with your goals is self sabotage. Taking action that goes against a desired outcome is self sabotage. Doing things or not doing things that thwarts your progress is self sabotage. Now the difference between self sabotage and just pure failing is that failing is different.
Failing is just trying something that didn’t work. Back in the day, I used an app to track my food to try to lose weight, like I was tracking my macros, my calories, my protein, my fats, carbs, all this stuff. And I did this for like, a year, and I tried, and I did, I would. I was very diligent with this, and I tried this with my whole heart, like I put everything into it, and for a year, and I didn’t lose any weight, you know, it just, it didn’t work. So that’s a failure. You know, I wasn’t doing something that was not in alignment with my goals. I was actually doing something that I thought would help with with my goals, would help me get there.
A lot of people were telling me, oh, you need to track all your food. You need to track all your calories. That’s how you lose weight. Well, guess what? It didn’t work for me. So that’s a failure, where you try something and it doesn’t work, you know? You may have tried to run a faster marathon, like you’re trying to PR your marathon, and you did all the speed work, you did everything you wanted to do, and then the day came and you just didn’t have it, you know. And maybe there’s all kinds of reasons you can come up with, but you just fell short. That’s a failure. You tried something, you put in the work, you did everything you thought you could do, and it didn’t work for you. So that is just pure and simple, a failure.
All right, hopefully we learn from these failures. You know, I learned something from my food tracking experiment that didn’t work for me, so I tried something else. But these things are not self sabotage because they’re not going against your long term goals. You’re actually engaging in behavior that you think is going to help you, that you think is actually going to help you to achieve those things, but it doesn’t work. And this is cool, because that’s part of the process of trying something. When you change your diet and you want to lose weight, you’re going to try some things that may or may not work for you. You’re gonna eat some foods that don’t agree with you. Or you’re gonna, you know, track your food or not track your food. You’re going to, you know, try low carb or, you know, high fat or whatever it is. And some of these things work for people, and some of them don’t like there’s no such thing as the perfect diet that’s going to work for everybody.
So there’s a little bit of trial and error there. There’s a little bit of, you know, I’m going to try something and possibly fail, and it’s okay if you fail. Failure is part of the process. You know, it’s just, you’re learning things that don’t work for you. So that is not self sabotage, that is just trying something that didn’t work. Okay? So that’s what failure is.
Self Sabotage is different. Self Sabotage is when you’re doing things, you’re taking action or not taking action. So it’s either action or inaction that goes against what you really want for yourself. So it’s eating ice cream every day. When you want to lose 30 pounds, eating the ice cream is not in alignment with your goal like and I think we can all agree on that, that if you want to lose some weight, then maybe just skip the ice cream for a while, because eating the ice cream constantly is just going to keep your body storing that fat, and it’s, you’re not going to lose the weight if you keep doing that, for the most part, if you could eat ice cream and lose weight, that’s amazing. Keep doing that.
Let’s say you want to run a faster marathon, half marathon, whatever, and you’re just avoiding all the speed work because you don’t like it, because it’s uncomfortable, because it’s hard, because it sucks. Okay, that could be a form of self sabotage, because you’re not doing something that you need to do in order to accomplish this goal. So when you decide, I’m not going to do the speed work, then that’s something that is not in alignment with your goal of running your fastest half marathon, Marathon, 5k whatever it is.
So if you really want to know if what you’re doing is self sabotage, the first thing you need to ask yourself is, are these things I’m doing or not doing? Are these things in alignment with my long term goals? So how do you know if you’re self sabotaging? That’s the first way. Is just like, is this action that I’m taking moving me close? Closer to my goal or further away. If what I’m doing has the ability to move me closer to my goal, like doing the speed work, if you do the speed work, you should get faster if you’re doing it properly. So it’s an action that should move you towards your goal. Now, whether it does or not, that’s a whole ‘nother story.
But taking the action that’s supposed to move you towards that goal, if you if you do that regularly, you should see those results. So that should move you closer to that goal of running a faster half or full, if you’re taking action that moves you further away from that goal, like not doing the speed work, like I’m just going to run slow for the next four months. Okay, that’s probably not going to get you faster. I think we can all agree that that would be a form of self sabotage.
Okay, so just understand that one way of knowing whether or not what you’re doing or not doing is self sabotage, is this thing in alignment with what I really want for myself? Is this moving me further closer to my goal or further away from my goal?
Another way to know if what you’re doing is self sabotaging is think about where you are putting the blame. So a lot of people will do things or not do things, and they will not take personal responsibility for their behavior. So instead of owning everything that they do and owning all of their results, whether they are good or bad, they blame everything outside of themselves. Okay, so there’s there’s reasons, there’s excuses, there’s stories as to why they can’t get the results that they want.
You know, it’s like saying, you know, I couldn’t, you know, stick to my food plan because I was on a work trip, or, you know, I was really stressed out last week, or, you know, it’s football season, where my parents were visiting, or I was sick, or life’s just been crazy these last few months. Really, okay, that’s, I’m sorry to hear that, but these are just excuses. They’re things that are, that are a lot of times, you know, kind of out of your control. They’re outside of you. They really don’t have any bearing on the food that you put in your mouth. Okay, very, very, very, few times in our lives, do we not have a choice on what we put in our mouth? A lot of times you can just choose not to eat something, you know, but, but we don’t. We say, oh, it was the only option that I had available. Oh, I was on this trip. Oh, I was, you know, really stressed out. Or, you know, we were watching the game, and we had, you know, people over watching the football game, and all these things are just excuses as to why you didn’t stick to your plan.
And so when you start blaming anything outside of yourself for what you’re getting or not getting, then that is a form of self sabotage, because you’re not, you’re not taking personal responsibility. You’re blaming anything but yourself for your results or lack of results. Once you start taking radical responsibility, and I mean owning everything, every decision you make, every result that you get or don’t get, then you can begin to stop that self sabotaging.
So another way that we sell sabotage is just blaming other people, having excuses, stories, reasons why we can’t do what we want to do, or why we can’t stick to our plan, why we can’t do our speed work, why we can’t train for that marathon, whatever. So just be mindful of this, that once you start saying, you know, I couldn’t do this because of XYZ, what are those reasons? And are they outside of you? And if they are outside of you, you’re probably engaging in some sort of self sabotaging behavior another way, and this one is kind of subtle.
But another way that a lot of people self sabotage is they put things off. They don’t start something. They procrastinate. Because when you put something off, when you procrastinate, you’re basically taking the easy way out. You know, because when you have to start something like, let’s say, you want to lose weight, and in order to lose weight, you know you have to change your diet. So eating a healthy diet, or maybe, like training for a marathon, this stuff is hard, it is uncomfortable. So instead of actually starting that hard, uncomfortable thing, what you’re doing is saying, You know what, I’m going to start tomorrow, or I’m going to start next month, or I’m going to wait till after the holidays, and all of that is just you avoiding the discomfort of change.
If you constantly put something off until later, you never have to change your behavior. You never have to get out of your comfort zone. You never have to learn new habits or break old ones, and you never have to worry about failing, because failing is hard. It feels terrible, so if you never start, you never have to worry about failing.
So most self sabotaging behavior, and even the stuff I’ve been talking about so far, is just your brain trying to stay safe and comfortable. Your brain is programmed to seek pleasure and avoid pain, seek comfort and avoid discomfort, do what’s familiar and avoid anything unfamiliar. You’re programmed to stay in your comfort zone. When you self sabotage, it’s just your brain trying to avoid anything unsafe, anything unfamiliar, anything uncomfortable.
But when you stay in your comfort zone. What happens? Do you grow? No, do you change? No? Do you level up? No? Do you evolve? Do you become more; do you accomplish all those things that you want? No, because growth happens outside of your comfort zone. That means that if you want to grow, if you want to change, if you want to run faster, if you want to lose weight, if you want to be become the most badass version of yourself, it is going to require you to get uncomfortable, and if you constantly avoid discomfort, that is a classic form of self sabotaging, almost all self sabotaging behavior is you avoiding the uncomfortable.
So when you’re doing things that aren’t alignment with your long term goals, what you’re doing is you’re just staying comfortable because doing those things are hard, when you blame other people, or, yeah, blame other people, or other things, situations outside of yourself, for not getting the results that you want. This is easier. It’s comfortable because you can’t do anything about it. You’re just a victim here. So you can stay small and you can stay comfortable. You can stay in your comfort zone, putting things off until later. Oh, I’m not going to do that now. I’ll wait till later. Then you never have to start anything. You never have to embrace the discomfort. You can stay in your cozy little blanket called your comfort zone.
When you do that, though, you don’t level up. I’m just telling you if there’s things that you want for yourself, if you want to lose weight, if you want to run faster, if you want to train for and run a marathon. This is not something that is easy to do. Is going to require a few months of discomfort. You know, there’s going to be a few months of like, long runs, running in the cold, especially when we train in the winter, running in the snow, running in the rain, whatever, you’re going to have to level yourself up. You’re going to have to go outside and run when you don’t feel like it. You’re going to have to stick to a running plan, even though you don’t feel like it, even though it’s hard, even though it’s uncomfortable. What’s the reward? The reward is you ran a marathon. You did something that seemed impossible for you, you evolved. You became more. You know that’s what you want to be focusing on. So stop staying comfortable. Stop seeking comfort.
Here’s your homework for this week, so to speak. I want you to take a look at these different areas of your life, especially when it comes to your health and fitness. What are you doing or not doing? And are these things you’re doing or not doing? Are they in alignment with your goals. If they’re not, how are you seeking comfort in these situations, or how are you avoiding discomfort? So start really thinking about that with everything that you do, how you approach your your strength training, how you approach running, how you approach your diet. Is it something that is in alignment with your goals or not? If you find yourself constantly doing things that sabotage your own success, you may want to look at how you are avoiding discomfort in these different areas.
Okay, then ask yourself, how can I start embracing the discomfort. How can I start leaning into the discomfort so that I can stop this self sabotaging behavior and actually make progress towards those goals?
Okay, that’s your homework for this week. Look at what you’re doing. See where you’re avoiding discomfort and just trying to stay safe and comfortable. And then I want to encourage you to get out of your comfort zone. That’s the only way you’re going to become more and level up. Cool.
All right, that’s all I got for you today. Love you all. Keep on Running Lean and I will talk to you soon.
250. 3 Things You Need to Do to Get Yourself Unstuck
Have you ever felt like you just can’t seem to make any progress toward a goal? Have you ever found it difficult to get started eating right or exercising regularly? Have you ever made some …
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Podcast Transcript
My name is Patrick McGilvray, and I’m an experienced marathoner, ultra runner, sports nutritionist, Master life coach and weight loss coach for runners. I’ve dedicated my life to helping runners just like you, properly fuel your body and your mind so you can get leaner, get stronger, run faster and run longer than you ever thought possible. This is Running Lean.
Hey there, and welcome to episode 250 of Running Lean. My name is Patrick McGilvray, the weight loss coach for runners and today, Three Things You Need To Do To Get Yourself Unstuck. So have you ever felt like you just can’t seem to make progress towards a goal? Have you ever found it difficult to get started eating the right way or exercising regularly? Or have you ever made some progress towards a goal, but then you hit a plateau and you just can’t seem to get things going again? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then congratulations, you are normal. It also means that you’ve probably felt stuck at some point in your life and found it difficult to get unstuck. So in this episode, I’ve got three things you need to do to get yourself unstuck so that you can continue making progress toward your goals.
But first, if you’re looking for some help reaching your goals, if you have certain health and fitness goals that you’re trying to accomplish by the end of the year, we’ve got a couple of months until the end of this year, plenty of time to get started and make a lot of progress towards those goals. Do you want to lose weight? Do you want to improve your running? Do you want to be able to run faster, run longer? Do you want to get stronger? Do you want to build a stronger frame to help you with running? Do you want to improve your running? Well, getting stronger is one of the ways you can do that. All these things are possible for you, and if you want a little bit of help getting there, absolutely think about getting a coach. And if it’s me, great. If it’s somebody else, that’s fine too. But with a coach, you get guidance, you get direction, you get feedback, you get support, you get accountability, you get motivation, you get encouragement. All these things that you get from a coach will help you to stay on track and keep making progress towards your goals. Today we’re talking about being stuck and getting yourself unstuck. Having a coach is one of the best ways to avoid getting stuck in the first place. So if you’re interested in getting a little bit of help making sure that you never have to worry about being stuck, just go to my website, running leancoaching.com, click on work with me. You and I will have a conversation, and we can talk about exactly what it would look like for you to become the most badass version of yourself yet, go to runningleancoaching.com, click on work with me. Awesome.
Okay, so today, three things you need to do to get yourself unstuck. I’ve been thinking about this today because I hear from a lot of people in my day to day life, some people I work with, not too often, though, because with a coach, you know, a lot of the people I work with, they don’t ever really get stuck, but maybe people that are interested in coaching that I talk to, they tell me that they feel stuck. They’ve tried to lose weight, and it worked for a certain amount of time, and then it stopped working, and now they’re stuck. They don’t know what to do, or they’ve wanted to lose weight for a long time, and they’ve been stuck at this weight forever, and they just can’t seem to get things moving. Or maybe they are interested in running a marathon or something like that, and they have tried to get started with that, and it just hasn’t worked. Or they have, you know, made some progress, but they can’t get past a 5k without feeling like they’re gonna die, and so they just feel stuck. We’ve all felt this way before.
I kind of mentioned that in the intro here, that if you’ve ever felt stuck before in your life, it’s very normal. This is very normal. But I want you to think about this as I’m going through some of the stuff I’m talking about here today, which is that being stuck is really just a mindset. It’s a state of mind. It’s not real. You’re never really stuck. You’re just acting like you are. I know this might be hard for some of you to hear, but I want you to really be open to this and just listen today with this concept in mind that being stuck is just a state of mind. It’s not real. You’re acting like you’re stuck, but you’re not really stuck.
Because here’s the thing, it’s easier to just say I’m stuck than to take the uncomfortable action of getting yourself unstuck, and that’s exactly what we’re going to be talking about here today, is that uncomfortable action of getting yourself unstuck. But just keep in mind that there is no such thing as being stuck. It’s just a state of mind that you are in.
Okay, so number one, the first thing you need to do to get yourself unstuck if you’re feeling stuck, is to stop procrastinating. Now you might think I don’t really procrastinate, but we all procrastinate. Everybody procrastinates to some level, to some degree, some more than others, some in different areas of their life. We all know that there are things that we should be doing or want to be doing, and we’re not doing those things, or we’re putting them off. We’re saying to ourselves, or telling us this ourselves, this story, that I will do it tomorrow. That’s classic procrastination, right? So why? Why are we sort of addicted to procrastination? What is this thing about procrastination?
Well, when you need to do something that’s tough, like, you know, changing your diet or going outside to run and it’s cold out, just thinking about these things brings up resistance. You know, resistance is a word that describes all the pain and the discomfort that shows up whenever you do hard things. So this is why a lot of times people will do anything, but that one thing that feels hard, you know. So there a lot of times people will, instead of going outside and running, it’s cold outside, people don’t want to go outside and run. So what they’ll do is they will start cleaning the house. When they’re telling themselves, oh, well, I’m just, I’m just cleaning the house. But cleaning the house is just something you’ve done a million times. It’s safe, it’s comfortable, it’s familiar. And then at the end of, you know, the 30 minutes, or however long it takes you to clean the kitchen, or whatever it is, you’ve got a clean house. So you have this instant result. You can look and say, oh, I did something, I accomplished something. But when you have to go outside and run in the cold, it’s hard, it’s uncomfortable, it’s painful, it feels unsafe, it’s unfamiliar, and the results come much later.
You know, running is amazing for you, like, it’s so good for your health, but you don’t get all the health benefits. You do get some right away, but for the most part, they come later. You know, let’s say you’re trying to improve your your running time. Well, you’re not going to go out and go from a four hour marathon to a three and a half hour marathon in one run. It’s going to take you a long time to get there. So instead of going out there and doing those hard things, we do something that feels safe and comfortable and familiar, which is to, just like, clean the house, and we’re telling ourselves a story, well, at least I’m doing something productive or whatever. But at the same time, there’s something you want to be doing, but you’re not doing it, and it’s that resistance that’s coming up. So instead of, you know, running, instead of changing your diet, starting to eat healthy food, you stay in bed, you flop out on the couch, you clean the house, whatever you’re going to do where there is not going to be any resistance.
So step number one in getting yourself unstuck is to recognize that we all have this kind of addiction to procrastination. Obviously, some people, more than others, in some areas, more than others. So recognize that we have this propensity towards procrastination and to stop doing that. The key to stopping procrastination is really getting into action. You have to do something. You have to take an action that moves you towards that goal. It doesn’t have to be a huge step. It could be just one tiny little thing to get you moving in the direction of that goal, even just a tiny little bit.
So what’s the tiniest thing you can do that’s going to get you into movement? So maybe you don’t feel like running and you’re procrastinating go out, going outside and running, because it’s cold out, and it is getting cold out, by the way, and I hate running in the cold, so there’s lots of days where I will procrastinate running, you know, I’ll sit there and I’ll be, you know, doing some work, and I’ll be inside and it’s warm, and I’ll be like, well, I’m doing work, you know, I’m doing some work, I’m doing emails or whatever it is, and I’m the whole time. I’m like, I should really be out there running.
So what is one thing you can do? Well, put your running shoes on, you don’t even have to go outside. Just get into that routine. Just start, start the process. Just put the running shoes on your feet, and then see what happens. If you don’t feel like starting a whole new eating plan and eating healthy and all this other stuff. Okay, sit on the couch and give yourself 10 minutes and just like, write a grocery list of some things that would be healthier choices for you. You know, if you don’t feel like going to the gym again, sit on the couch, write down three exercises that you can do when you go to the gym. Chances are, just by doing these tiny little things that are almost so easy you can’t do them, that you are going to break out of that stuck feeling, and you’re going to, you’re going to take the next right action.
So what’s the next action you can do after you put your running shoes on? Maybe you get your Garmin watch, and you put it on, or your running shirt, or your shorts or something like that. Maybe, you know, after making that grocery list, you know, start getting your bags ready and to put in the car, you know. Maybe you know you don’t feel like going to the gym, but you’ve written down a few exercises that you can do, and then you start, you know, packing your gym bag. You know, these are just little, tiny steps, but they absolutely help you to stop the procrastinating, stop feeling stuck, and to actually get into movement. So movement is really going to be the key to getting stuck in general, but to stop procrastinating in particular. Okay, so that’s number one. Stop procrastinating.
The second thing that you need to do if you want to get yourself unstuck is to really define your purpose. A lot of times you’re feeling stuck because you don’t have a sense of purpose. So many people say that the number one reason that they are unhappy in their life, especially as they get older in life, is because they lack purpose in their life.
So what is purpose? Well, purpose is really anything you want it to be. It can be whatever you decide that it is for you, your purpose should be something though, that drives you forward. It should be one of these things that when you think about your purpose, that it helps you to get out of bed on those cold mornings and get outside and run. Your purpose doesn’t have to be something huge, like, oh, I have to save the world. You’re not Frodo. Okay? So it can be something small, but it has to be something that is meaningful to you. Has to be something that is important to you. And having this, like, strong sense of purpose helps to keep you going when the going gets tough, and the going always gets tough, right?
So think of your purpose as your North Star. So this is the thing that’s out there. It’s actually within you. But I’m just kind of pointing out there as like, that’s something that’s always guiding you forward. It’s always moving you in the direction of your goals, your hopes, your dreams. I have a purpose. My purpose is very simple. It’s a little statement that I wrote out, and I think about it all the time. I have it written down in lots of places, and it is this, here’s my purpose. It is to be an example of what’s possible and to inspire others to do the same. That’s it, to be an example of what’s possible and to inspire others to do the same. This purpose gets me out of bed in the morning. This purpose helps me to either never get stuck or never stay stuck for very long.
And your purpose needs to be something that is personal to you, it should be something that feels bigger than you, and it should evoke some sort of emotion when you read it or you say it or think about it. So it has to make you feel something, because when you feel something deep inside, when you think about your purpose, then you know you’ve got it. So take some time to define your purpose, like, why is losing this weight important to you? How is this going to affect other people in your life? Why is it important for you to be strong? Why is it important for you to run that marathon? And then, what is the ripple effect that these things are going to have on the people in your life, especially the important people in your life.
So step two in getting yourself unstuck is to clearly define your purpose. And this doesn’t mean just think about it, I want you to write it down, print it out, paste it on your computer, on your mirror in your bathroom. Look at it every day. It even helps if you write it out every day. So maybe you do some journaling. You can, you know, at the top of every journal page, write out your purpose statement. Write it every day. Look at it every day. Say it out loud, see it, say it, feel it. But that’s the most important part, is that when you see this or say you should feel something, so having the strong sense of purpose is going to keep you from getting stuck, and it’s going to help you to get unstuck when you feel like you’re stuck.
Okay. Number three, we’ve kind of been dancing around this one a little bit, but I’m going to take a deep dive into this. Number three is to embrace the suck. If you’re feeling stuck, right, you got to know it’s a mental construct that you created in your own mind, first of all, and knowing that you’re never really stuck, acts will help you to get into action. So it actually helps you to get into action just knowing that that it’s just a mental construct. But sometimes you just have to accept the fact that action is uncomfortable. Doing hard things, by definition is hard, losing weight is hard, running a marathon is hard, getting stronger is hard.
If these things were easy, everybody would do it. People don’t do these things. Like less than 1% of the US population has ever run a marathon, like you are in an elite category, if that’s you. Losing weight is very difficult. So many people just don’t do it. And all these things are hard because they’re uncomfortable, they’re painful. They’re unfamiliar to you, and your brain is hardwired to avoid pain and seek pleasure. Your brain is hardwired to avoid discomfort and seek comfort. It’s hardwired to avoid unfamiliar things and seek the familiar things.
So your brain is just a comfort, familiar, pleasure, seeking creature, and most things you want to accomplish in life unfortunately require you to experience some sort of pain or discomfort or something unfamiliar. Again, all these things that you want for yourself, if you don’t already have them, then they lie outside your comfort zone. So by nature, to accomplish things you’ve never accomplished before, it means you have to get out of your comfort zone. You have to get uncomfortable. You have to embrace the discomfort, embrace the suck.
If you want to lose weight, you have to go through the pain of sugar withdrawals. You have to go through the discomfort of eating chicken and broccoli when there’s pizza right there. And you have to go through that unfamiliarity of doing things eating foods that you’re not used to eating because you’ve been eating a different way. And so to your brain, none of this feels good. It all feels unsafe, unfamiliar, uncomfortable, painful to your brain, even though, in the long run, you know that this is what’s best for you. This is what’s best for your health, for your happiness, for your survival as a human being, all of the results of eating healthy and losing weight are positive, but to your brain, it’s all a big warning sign danger. Get out now, stop everything. And we call this being stuck.
The way to get yourself unstuck then is to accept that all of this is normal. It’s actually how you get to your goals, all that pain, the discomfort, the unfamiliar stuff, it’s all just part of what it takes for you to get there. It’s like the path that you have to take. It’s the cost of success. Discomfort is the cost of success. You want to lose weight, you want to run a marathon, the price you pay is getting uncomfortable. But you know what? We don’t want to feel any of those bad things. So instead, we do nothing a lot of times, and we stay in that stuck place.
So but remember what I said earlier, being stuck isn’t real. So the next time you think you’re stuck, do this instead of saying, oh, I’m stuck, say I am unwilling to get uncomfortable in this moment, instead of saying, I’m stuck, say, what do I need to do to embrace the suck today and then go do that thing? Okay, so those are your three things that you need to do to get yourself unstuck, stop procrastinating, define your purpose and then embrace the suck.
Okay, that’s all I got for you today. Love you all. Keep on Running Lean and I will talk to you soon.
247. The Mindset Shift Required in Order to Succeed
Lots of factors go into whether or not you will successfully achieve a goal. How bad you want it, where you are in your life, your physical limitations just to name a few. But one of the most …
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Podcast Transcript
My name is Patrick McGilvray, and I’m an experienced marathoner, ultra runner, sports nutritionist, Master life coach and weight loss coach for runners. I’ve dedicated my life to helping runners just like you, properly fuel your body and your mind so you can get leaner, get stronger, run faster and run longer than you ever thought possible. This is Running Lean.
Hey there and welcome to Episode 247 of Running Lean. My name is Patrick McGilvray, the weight loss coach for runners and today, the Mindset Shift Required in Order to Succeed. So lots of factors go into whether or not you will successfully achieve some goal, like how bad you want it, where you are in your life, your physical limitations, just to name a few. But one of the most powerful indicators of success is actually a shift in your mindset. And most people do not consider their mindset when they set out to accomplish some big goal, like, let’s say you want to lose weight, they just start with, okay, what should I do? What should I eat? What should I not eat? So in this episode, I want to talk about the mindset shift required in order to succeed so you can accomplish everything that you want in your life. Cool.
But first, let’s talk a little bit about what coaching means to me. So for me, coaching is a powerful tool that you can use to help you to accomplish all those hard things that you want to do in your life. I have done all kinds of hard things, and the times when I had a coach helping me, it was exponentially faster to get to my results, and the results were much better. So just keep in mind that, yeah, you can do lots of things on your own. I’m a self starter. I’m somebody that is pretty self motivated. But when I have a coach helping me, guiding me, showing me the way they’ve already made all the mistakes so they can tell me what not to do, and somebody that’s there holding me accountable for my actions, then my results are much faster and much better. So you can do lots of things on your own, and I’m a proponent of that.
And if you’re a self starter, or somebody that’s good at, you know, getting started and staying disciplined, great. But if you’re somebody that wants some help with that, maybe you are good at those things, but it just hasn’t been quite working out for you, whatever the reason. It doesn’t really matter, if you want some help, reach out. Coaching works where a lot of other methods don’t, because it’s not about some particular diet or some particular, you know, workout regimen. It’s about helping you, you know, pick the right things that work for you. It’s about finding the right formula of eating patterns of, you know, running and strength training patterns that work to help you to create the body, the mind, the life that you want for yourself.
Okay, so if you’re interested in coaching, we can have a conversation about it. You don’t have to commit to anything. You and I could have a conversation. It’s free to have this conversation with me, just go to my website, runningleanpodcast.com, because I’ve been working with a lot of people lately and talking to a lot of people lately who really, they get like what to do, but when it comes to actually doing it and sticking with it, you know, making changes and eating differently and working out regularly, they need some help with the mindset that’s required in order to stick with it, in order to make those goals that they have for themselves to become a reality.
And one of the things a lot of people don’t really understand is that there has to be some big shifts in your mindset in order for you to be successful with whatever it is you set out to do. You know, you can’t just decide you want to, you know, run a faster marathon and then just, it’s just going to happen. You have to change at a fundamental level.
We’ll get into all of that in just a second, but just to understand that there’s a lot of people out there, and you might be one of these people that you want more for yourself. You want to change. You want to improve. Maybe you want to lose weight or build a lean, strong body. You want to run fast. Faster. Maybe you want to run farther than you ever have before. So you want all these things for yourself, and you kind of know what you need to do to get there. Oh, yeah, I know I need to eat this way, or I need to work out, or I need to, you know, do my speed work. So you kind of might know those things.
But one area that most people tend to neglect is their thinking, their mindset. So just understand that, you know, in order to succeed at anything, and this could be your health, your fitness, it could be relationships. It can be your career. It can be, you know, if you’re in school, it could be you’re raising kids, all kinds of things, that in order to be a success, that you have to have a shift in your mindset. Okay? You have to sort of create a new mindset, all right.
So I want to start by just talking about the difference between your thinking and your mindset. So I’m going to start with talking about thinking, which is really, this is the process that your mind uses to produce ideas, to make decisions. You know, when you’re thinking about your past, your memories, this is all thinking. This could also be, you know, an opinion about something, or a judgment of something or someone. So it’s your thoughts about something, it’s you logically figuring things out. I like to say that thinking is just sentences that you say in your mind. So this is just your internal dialog.
Okay, so thinking is something that we do non stop, like we’re always thinking. You can’t not think. It’s almost impossible to not think about anything. There are Tibetan monks who sit on mountains in silence for years, you know, I’m assuming, and still can’t shut their mind off, you know, maybe some people can do this, but it is very, very challenging. So our mind is always sort of working, which is a good thing, you know? So that’s thinking. So it’s it’s our thoughts, it’s the sentences we say in our mind. It’s our logical planning, figuring things out, you know, how we think about other people, our opinions, our judgments, when we make decisions, all those kinds of things, and then we have our mindset.
So mindset is a little bit different. Mindset is your established set of attitudes and, you know, beliefs about things that really sort of affects and influences your outlook, your behavior, mind, and you have multiple mindsets. Just like you have multiple thoughts, you can have multiple mindsets. It’s like your frame of mind. It’s the way that you think. You know, it’s your collection of attitudes and opinions and program beliefs and all that kinds of stuff.
Okay, so your mindset is something that’s broader. And when I’m talking about mindset, I’m really talking about something much broader. And I’m going to come back to this in just a minute, but I want to start talking about beliefs a little bit, because beliefs are powerful things, and they go into making up your mindset. So beliefs are the thoughts that you think over and over again. So these are things that you believe to be true about the world, and beliefs are powerful, because beliefs really drive your actions, you know, and actions create stuff. You know, actions create results, whether it’s good or bad, you can’t have results without taking action. So your beliefs, a lot of times, will determine what actions you take or don’t take. And not everyone believes the same things. Your beliefs are unique to you. Beliefs are powerful because they, a lot of times, they determine what we believe we can and can’t do. You know, they determine what we want to do, first of all. So our beliefs, a lot of times, will determine our goals.
So if we think we can do something, if we believe we can do something, then we go after that thing. You know, if you believe in your heart that you can run a marathon, then you’ll probably be able to do that. So if you have a belief like I could never run that far, then you’ll probably never even consider doing that. And of course, our beliefs can change over time. So I used to believe that I could never run more than like five miles or six miles at a time. I ran a 10k once, and I thought, you know, maybe I can run a marathon, because I had never done that before, but I had that feeling of a belief that maybe that is something I could do now, prior to being able to run, you know, 10k I could, I would never think I could run a marathon. That was, it seemed impossible to me, like, who would want to do that first of all.
So I had this whole established belief about not being able to run that far. But over time, that belief changed, and I decided that, you know, I bet I could do that, and then my belief became, I’m going to do that. And I did believe I was going to do that, and I did accomplish that, okay, but it really required a change in my beliefs. And your beliefs about what you can and can’t do will always determine your results. You know, if you believe you can do something, you will probably be able to do it, and if you believe you can’t, you probably won’t be able to do it. So just understand that if you firmly believe I can never lose weight, you’ll probably never be able to and you know what?
Here’s something interesting. Your beliefs are optional. Like you get to decide what you want to believe or not. You don’t have to believe everything that you think. Okay. You don’t have to believe all of the things that you believe. Like you can actually change. You can change your mind. You know, as we get older, we tend to think, you know, that we are inflexible, that our mindset is fixed, but it’s really not, that’s a decision you’re making. And you can decide that you want to believe other things. You can decide that your mindset is malleable, that your mindset is changeable. You can, you can start adopting new beliefs about things, and this is a very healthy way to live your life when you question your beliefs, and you can actually change your beliefs, okay, but beliefs are very powerful. Just understand that.
So those things that you believe over and over and over again, this starts to become something that we would call belief systems. So when we take all sorts of, like, groups of beliefs, and we lump them together, then we become then we have these things that become belief systems. So these are groups of beliefs that feed off of one another. So an example of a belief system might be, I’m always going to be overweight because I’m weak. I have no willpower, I have no discipline. I’m lazy. This is too hard. I don’t deserve this. My metabolism is messed up. I always struggle with my weight. This is a belief system. These are all different beliefs, but we have lumped them all together, and they’ve created this very clear picture of something that we will never be able to lose weight with that sort of a belief system in place.
And I’ve known people like this who have this absolute belief system, and that’s just where they are. And they are unhappy. They don’t feel like they deserve to be happy. They don’t feel like they deserve to lose weight. They definitely don’t believe they can. And so they’re going to be, you know, kind of miserable forever. Now understand that you can have a whole different belief system. You can have a belief system that says, you know, I definitely can lose weight. I have tons of discipline. I have done hard things in my life before. I’m motivated, I am dedicated. I deserve this for myself. It has nothing to do with my metabolism. I can fix my metabolism. I do not have to struggle with my weight like this is a whole different shift in a belief system. And so your belief systems are something that you can change again. If you can, you know, change your beliefs. You can change your belief systems.
And these belief systems, they develop over time. A lot of times they take years and years decades to develop. A lot of times we have belief systems that are built over our entire lives. So every event of our life, every person we’ve interacted with, everything that’s ever happened to us, everything we’ve ever accomplished or not being able to accomplish, goes into making up some of our belief systems. And this can be very hard to overcome at times. And I get that for sure. You know, if you’re the kind of person that has, you know, dealt with childhood trauma and things like that. It’s going to be very difficult for you to get over that, and that’s where you probably need to, like, get some therapy and have somebody else help you with, you know, recovering from some of that past trauma and things like that, but understand that our belief systems are well developed over time.
And so you think that they are just fixed and that it’s something that you cannot change, but whether you believe it or not, they can change. And we all have these types of belief systems. Some of them are positive, some of them are negative, and just start to be aware of what it is that you’re believing about yourself. And we have belief systems around all sorts of stuff in our life over, you know, religious type of belief systems and political belief systems, movies, TV shows that you like. We have belief systems over music that we listen to.
So I have this friend who’s really into country music, and this is a whole lifestyle for her. It’s a whole mindset for her. There’s tons of belief systems about country music. It dictates the way she thinks, the way she dresses, what she does on the weekends, who her friends are, how her friends dress, how they behave when they go out. So there’s a whole belief system around this, you know, country, her love of country music, and it’s all cool with me. She asked me one time, you know, hey, do you like country music? I’m like not really. So, you know, we don’t really hang out much, which is fine, but good for her, you know, this is something that she’s really into. It could be something like whether or not you are really into fitness.
You know, one of my belief systems involves, you know, being a runner and physically fit, being strong, being healthy. So I tend to do things that fit with this belief system, my friends that I hang out with and I do things with. They are runners. They are physically fit people. They’re strong. They like to work out. They like to eat healthy. The person I’m dating is definitely part of this belief system. She’s a runner. She’s really involved in the running community. This is, like the podcast that I listen to have to do with health and fitness, different topics, mindset, the books I read, so a big part of my belief systems involve, you know, being a fit person and healthy and a runner, because I have these well established belief systems around all of that.
Okay, so all this is bringing me to what I really want to talk about, which is we’re going to go one layer deeper. So we’ve talked about our thinking, those thoughts, those things that we say in our minds. We’ve talked about beliefs, and then we have these belief systems, which are very powerful.
The next layer down in our minds, though, would be our identity. So this is like the very core of who you are. So anytime you say the words, I am, dot, dot, dot, we’re talking about thoughts that you’re thinking or you know your identity at your core level. So like, I am a father, I am a brother, I am a runner, I am a coach. These are all part of who I am at my core. You know my friend who is really in the country, she might be like I am a country music aficionado, like that could be part of her identity. It seems to be part of her identity.
So your identity is all of your thoughts, it’s all of your feelings, it’s everything you know, it’s everything that you believe. It’s all your belief systems. It’s like really the essence of who you are. And also understand that your identity is multifaceted. It is not just one thing. You know, I’m not just a runner. I have lots of identities, but understand that one thing we have to really fundamentally understand is that identity drives our belief systems. It drives our beliefs, it drives our thinking, and drives our results. So if you really want to succeed at something, whether it’s losing weight, running faster, running longer, becoming healthier, getting stronger, getting leaner, becoming the most badass version of yourself. You have to shift your identity. This is the mindset shift that’s required for you to succeed at whatever you want in your life, right?
So we have to change our thinking and our beliefs and our belief systems, but we really have to change our identity, and all these things are changeable. You can change who you are at any time in your life. It’s never too early or too late for you to do this.
Let’s see. 25 years ago or so, I used to smoke cigarettes and I drank beer, and I did both of these things to excess, in my opinion, but I had this identity back then of somebody who was a heavy drinker and a smoker. Okay, so that was part of who I was. So this determined what I did most days, most days I was just sitting around, hanging around certain types of people. This, you know, determined my health, my state of mind, my actions, and, of course, my results. I was overweight, I was unhealthy, I was lethargic, I was angry, I was sick, I was just in a bad way, all the way around, because I had this identity of like, this partier, drinker smoker, type of person, and in order to change I had to dramatically shift my mindset. I had to change my thinking. I had to change my beliefs, my belief systems, and ultimately, I had to make a shift in my identity. And of course, I had to change what I did, but it’s much easier to change what you do when you start at these deeper levels.
So here’s an example of how I did this. So, first of all, I really wanted to change. I had gotten to this place in my life where I was really sick. I was diagnosed with cancer at the time. I was really overweight. I was very unhealthy and I was questioning my mortality. I was really thinking, like, I could die, you know. And, and I had little kids at the time, and I was like, oh, my God, this is, you’ve got to change, Patrick, right? So I first really wanted to change, so I did. And I really wanted to change. And then I started doing things like, I started eating healthier, you know, and I quit smoking, I started walking, I even started running. And I didn’t really realize it at the time, but once I started doing some of these things, they started to break down my pre established belief systems. They started to, I started to make that shift in my identity.
You know, I started running. I started making new friends. I started reading books on running and health and fitness. I started listening to podcasts, all that stuff, as soon as podcasts became a thing, and then I started running races. I did a 5k, a 10k, I did a marathon. I started doing triathlons, ultra marathons, slowly over time, I became a different person. Now this is really scary to think about, like dismantling your belief systems, ditching old identities, becoming a new person. That’s kind of scary if you’re feeling a little bit like, you know, uneasy by just thinking about this right now, that’s normal. It is normal because we’re venturing out into the unknown when we do this, we’re starting to become somebody different.
In order to become somebody different, you got to ditch your old ways of thinking, your old belief systems, your old identity, and you have to adopt some new ways of thinking, some new belief systems, new identities. That is scary, because that’s not who you’re used to being. You’re used to being this one person over here, and now you’re saying, I want to be this other person over here, who’s, in my opinion, who’s better, who’s healthier, who’s going to live longer, you know, who’s nicer to be around, you know, and all the things that you want for yourself. And so it requires that shift, which is very scary.
And so this is why a lot of people will not do this, because it doesn’t feel good, it feels kind of bad. It feels like you’re, you’re, you know, you’re stripping away who you are at your core, because you actually are because that identity that you’ve been working on, or, you know, working from that identity that you’ve been, that’s been programmed into you over the last 30, 40 years, or whatever, it’s all kind of crumbling underneath you, and you’re like, now, who am I? Well, guess what, you get to decide. You get to decide what you want for yourself.
So here’s what I want you to kind of think about for this week. I want you to start with your goals. Like, what is it that you want for yourself? What are those outcomes that you want to create in your life? You want to lose weight, you want to run faster, you want to be stronger. Where do you want to be? And then start thinking about your thoughts. Like, what are the thoughts that you have about yourself, about your ability to accomplish these goals. You know, what do you think about regularly? And then, what do you believe about yourself? What do you believe you can and can’t do? Do you believe that this goal is attainable for you? Do you believe that you can do this, or do you believe that you cannot do this? And then, when we start thinking about beliefs, think about and look at your belief systems. You know what beliefs are all linked together to paint a picture of what you can and can’t do.
So think about all the things that you believe, about how likely you are to be able to lose weight or run faster, all right? And then start looking at your identities. What follows the words when you say those words I am, I am overweight, I am a slow runner, I am weak, I am incapable of being more like what are those things you say after the words I am? And which of these do you need to just let go of and then let them go. And then, what identities do you want to adopt instead? You know, I am a fit, healthy person, I am strong, I am fast, I am someone who loves running.
What is it that you want to adopt as your new identity? Who do you want to be? So think about that stuff this week, I think this will be very powerful for you. But if there’s anything that you want in your life, it’s going to require a change at that core level of who you are, at your core, and it’s a good thing. It’s scary, it’s uncomfortable because you’re venturing out into unknown territory. It’s unfamiliar. It’s not what you’re used to. So it’s going to be scary, it’s going to be uncomfortable, it’s going to be hard, and it’s okay. You can do it, okay. I know you’ve got this.
That’s all I got for you today. Love you all. Keep on Running Lean and I will talk to you soon.