Running Lean with Patrick McGilvray
Lots of runners come to me for help losing weight, getting stronger, and running faster. One common question that keeps coming up is, “How do I lose weight without all the discomfort?” They want …
Continue Reading about 136. How to Avoid Weight Loss Discomfort →
My name is Patrick McGilvray, and I’m an experienced marathoner, ultra runner, Sports Nutritionist, Master Life Coach, and weight loss coach for runners. I’ve dedicated my life to helping runners just like you properly fuel your body and your mind. So you can get leaner, get stronger, run faster, and run longer than you ever thought possible. This is Running Lean.
Hey there, and welcome to episode 136 of Running Lean. My name is Patrick McGilvray, the weight loss coach for runners and today: how to avoid weight loss discomfort. Lots of runners come to me because they want help losing weight, they want help getting stronger and running faster. One common question that keeps coming up is how do I lose weight without all the discomfort?
So they want to make big sweeping changes to their health and fitness, but they want to avoid feeling uncomfortable during the process. I get that. Totally. That was definitely me. Back in the day, I was always looking for shortcuts and hacks, anything that could help me lose weight that would help me get to my goal weight without feeling any kind of discomfort, or I wanted all the gains without any of the pains.
But this is not how things work in the real world. So in this episode, I’m going to take a look at what it actually takes to reach a weight loss goal. I’ll also share the secret of how to avoid weight loss discomfort. And avoiding weight loss discomfort, avoiding the discomfort of change is something that I am very familiar with, and something that a lot of people want help with.
And what they really want though, is they want help overcoming or getting through the uncomfortable bits. Because I think we all know that it takes some discomfort in order to grow and to change and to lose weight and to get healthier and to get stronger. Like all those things that we want for ourselves. You know that it does require you to get uncomfortable.
This is one of the reasons why I created my coaching program. And why I do personalized coaching is because we all need a little help getting through those uncomfortable places. This does not mean that the rest of your life has to be riddled with discomfort. And that you’re setting yourself up for a life of discomfort. That’s not what we’re talking about at all here.
But when we’re making changes when we’re growing, when we’re changing, when we’re improving our body composition, all of those things require a certain amount of discomfort. Because what you have right now where you are right now in your comfort zone isn’t what you want for yourself like this is easy, you know how to do what you’re doing now.
But in order to get to that next level, whether it’s running faster, getting stronger, losing 30, 40, 50 pounds, it requires some level of discomfort, okay? This is why I do personalized coaching. I’ve created an immersive coaching program that delivers all the knowledge, all the support, the encouragement, the inspiration, the motivation and accountability that you need to stay on track, to improve your health to make changes that last permanently.
This isn’t about quick fixes. This isn’t about losing weight as fast as possible. And I’m going to tell you right now, this is not about doing it without any discomfort. This is about learning how to lean into the discomfort so that you can become the healthiest and most badass version of yourself. And you can do it in a way that is sustainable. That’s what we’re all looking for here.
Anybody can lose weight quickly for a short period of time. We’ve all done that. But then you put the weight back on. Anybody can get a little bit strong or a little bit faster. But what if you want to PR? What if you want to BQ? You know what, if you want to radically improve your body composition, you’re gonna have to lean into some serious discomfort.
So if you’re ready for those kinds of big changes, if you’re ready to finally drop the weight and keep it off for good, if you’re ready to get stronger, to look better, to run faster, to run longer than you ever have before; then you’re ready for the Running Lean coaching project. There is an application process to join this program. You can just fill out a short application, schedule a free Zoom call with me. We’ll talk about your goals and we’ll see if this is a good fit for you.
It may not be but if you’re interested, just go to runningleancoaching.com/apply, fill out the application, you and I will get on a call, and we’ll talk about it. Cool, I would love for you to join me in the Running Lean coaching project, just go to runningleancoaching.com/apply. And we’ll see you there soon.
Okay, so this whole idea of leaning into discomfort is what we’re talking about today. And I titled this episode how to avoid weight loss discomfort, because I think that’s something we all want. And I will actually tell you, at the end of this episode, how you can avoid that discomfort.
But I want to, I want to like, first of all talk about how we really need to change our way of thinking around this, okay, so when people come to me, and they tell me that they, that they want things to be easy for them, they want things to be as comfortable as possible. So this is what they think they want, they think they want weight loss to be easy, they want it to be easy and effortless. They don’t want to give up anything, they want to continue to eat their favorite foods.
They don’t want to experience any level of discomfort whatsoever. And the truth is that this is just not the way things work in the real world. If you want to lose weight, you’re going to have to make some changes to your diet. If you want to run faster, you’re going to have to practice running faster. And these things do not feel good.
These things are by their very nature, they are uncomfortable things to do, because they’re pushing you out of your comfort zone. So people think they want weight loss to be easy. They think they want running faster to be easy. What they also want is they want to lose all this weight, they want to run a Boston Qualifying time, they want to look better, they want to feel better, and they want to do it without any kind of discomfort whatsoever.
And I think this is an interesting concept. But here’s the thing, you’re just you cannot have both. You cannot stay comfortable, and become more, it just doesn’t work that way. Think about everything you’ve done in your life that you’re proud of, or anything you’ve gotten through in your life. That was hard, but maybe profoundly changed you. Maybe you’ve had a child, or three, maybe you’ve raised a child through the teenage years, that’s some hard stuff right there.
Maybe you’ve run a marathon, or a half marathon or a 5k, or an ultra marathon or an Ironman or whatever. Maybe you’ve built a healthy relationship with a significant other. This is very hard work. This is years and years of work. Maybe you’ve gotten through a divorce or a health scare or a health diagnosis like cancer, maybe you’ve had a loved one passed away, like a parent, or a friend, or sibling or child.
All of these things have a profound effect on you. All these things change us profoundly. And I’ve said before, it’s the challenges that change us. It’s the challenges that teach us lessons. It’s through these challenges that growth happens. And none of this stuff is easy. It’s all hard. All of this stuff is hard to do.
But it’s those challenges that actually cause us to learn and grow and to evolve and to become more. It’s the challenges that change us. I hate that it works that way. I really do. I wish it was easier. I wish we could learn lessons from just reading a book. And we can learn some lessons from reading a book. But the profound life changes that the or life experiences that change us the most and cause us to grow, are those things that are hard to do, the ones that are uncomfortable.
You know, think about the weight loss or the strength training analogy where you have to, you know, go to the gym and lift weights, lift heavy weights, you have to overload your muscles in order for your muscles to grow and get stronger. You cannot build muscle and get stronger by lifting super lightweights. It just doesn’t work that way.
There’s a former Mr. Olympia Champion, Ronnie Coleman. And he has this saying he has this quote that I love. I say this all the time. And he says, “Everybody wants to be a bodybuilder, but nobody wants to lift no heavy ass weights.” And oh my god, isn’t that the truth? Everybody wants the body, but nobody wants to do the hard work. Everybody wants the gains, nobody wants the pains.
So if you want something more for yourself, if you want to lose weight, if you want to evolve, if you want to grow, if you want to get stronger, all that stuff is going to require that you endure some discomfort. And instead of trying to avoid discomfort, I want you to think about doing the opposite, I want you to actually embrace it.
Instead of trying to stay comfortable, and have everything be easy peasy. I want you to know that it will be hard, and know that you will get uncomfortable. You need to accept this, you need to embrace it, and then get on with it. Get on with doing what you need to do. And this discomfort is something that you have to choose. And you have to choose this on a regular basis. You have to choose to do the uncomfortable things.
If you want to grow, you have to decide that this is what you want for yourself. And you have to make a decision and decide that you want to embrace discomfort. And in Latin, the Latin origin of the word decide means to cut off. So you’re cutting off all other options when you make a decision.
And when you make these decisions, and you make decisions every single day, you’re going to make a decision to eat the pizza, or to eat the salad, you’re going to make a decision to have ice cream or not. You’re going to make a decision to, you know, get drunk tonight, or just drink sparkling water. And it’s in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.
That’s a Tony Robbins quote, by the way, it’s in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped. There’s no growth in the comfort zone. And there’s no comfort in the growth zone. You have to be able to, you have to be willing to get uncomfortable in order to grow in order to change in order to become more.
And there actually is one way to avoid discomfort. And I told you at the beginning I was going to share this with you. There’s a way that you can avoid discomfort with all this and a lot of people don’t talk about this. Okay. So if the idea of embracing discomfort is too much for you, that is totally fine.
Here’s the answer: if you want to avoid discomfort, do nothing. Don’t try to lose weight. Don’t try to run faster. Don’t try to improve your health. Don’t try to get stronger. Don’t try to get off your meds. You know, don’t grow, don’t evolve. Don’t worry about ever trying to be anything more than who you are right now. Right, problem solved.
Stay comfortable. Stay in your comfort zone. But just remember, there’s no growth in the comfort zone. And there’s no comfort in the growth zone. But if you don’t want to experience any kind of discomfort, that’s fine. That’s an option for you. Just don’t worry about changing, just stay where you are.
Is this what you want? Is this okay for you? Is that really what you want for yourself? I don’t think so. If you’re listening to this podcast right now, I’m gonna say probably not there’s probably something more that you want for yourself. And you’re willing to experience some discomfort to get there, right.
But what most people do is what I just mentioned, they do nothing. They don’t try to improve their health. They don’t try to lose weight. They don’t try to run faster. They don’t try to get stronger. Because it’s hard. Because that doesn’t feel good. Your brain is programmed to seek pleasure and avoid pain. Pleasure equals in our minds, in your brain, pleasure equals eating ice cream. Pain equals not eating ice cream. Pleasure equals sitting on the couch and watching Netflix pain equals going for a run or doing speed work. That is painful, right?
So your brain just wants you to be safe and comfortable, and just, you know, everything to feel good. And what I’m asking you to do here is to kind of override your brain’s natural way of doing things, and to seek discomfort in order to become more in order to grow, in order to evolve. And I have to say this to like, more discomfort is not always better. We’re not getting uncomfortable for the sake of getting uncomfortable. That’s not what I mean here.
Like, don’t put a rock in your shoe before you run out. Patrick said, I need to get uncomfortable. So I’m just going to be really uncomfortable and just, you know, make this run really suck. No, that’s not what we’re talking about here. Okay. We’re not talking about pushing yourself so hard all the time, that you’re creating chronic stress in your body, and you’re not getting the rest and recovery that you need.
You don’t need to be go, go, go, go go all the time, you have to prioritize rest and recovery. Right? This is what I’m talking about rest and recovery, I mean, mental rest and recovery, emotional rest and recovery too, as well as physical. But we don’t want to put ourselves in a chronic state of stress, you know, I gotta stay uncomfortable all the time.
No, we can be comfortable sometimes. It’s okay. So just don’t don’t misunderstand what I’m saying here, I do want you to have some comfort in your lives, you know. And you can of course, you can eat that ice cream. Occasionally, of course, you can like watch Netflix, you know, here and there.
But we also have to remember that if there are things that you want for yourself, those things that you want for yourself that you don’t already have, why outside your comfort zone, the things you want for yourself, but they exist out of your comfort zone. So you gotta get out of your comfort zone in order to get them.
And there’s no end to this, just understand this, like as a human being, you should always be striving to grow and evolve and become more. I think this is something that we should all be working towards. And there’s no end to changing and evolving. So there’s really no end to this idea of embracing discomfort, it has to just become part of your identity, it has to become part of who you are, and what you do on a regular basis.
Today, I am someone who regularly seeks out and embraces discomfort. Because I know that if I’m doing that I am growing and evolving and I’m becoming more I’m becoming more of the person that I was put on this earth to become. This is what I want for you. I want you to embrace the idea of embracing discomfort and knowing that that is the goal. That is the path to get you to your goals. Okay, I want this for you. You should want this for you as well. That’s all I got for you today. Love you all keep on Running Lean, and I’ll talk to you soon.
If you’re a runner and you’ve been struggling to lose weight or you keep losing and gaining the same 10 pounds over and over again. Or you’re finally ready to get to your natural weight and stay there for good this time then I have something you will love. I’ve created a powerful new training just for you called running lean for life. You’ll learn exactly how to transform yourself into a lean fat-burning running machine. So you can run without bonking, lose weight without calorie counting and develop the habits required to make it last for life. To get this free training right now go to runningleanpodcast.com/leanforlife and start your transformation today.
Today I have a bit of a different podcast episode for you, it’s going to be more of a call to action. I believe that each and every one of us has the ability to make a positive impact on this …
Continue Reading about 133. Being an Example to Those Around You →
My name is Patrick McGilvray, and I’m an experienced marathoner, ultra runner, Sports Nutritionist, Master Life Coach, and weight loss coach for runners. I’ve dedicated my life to helping runners just like you properly fuel your body and your mind. So you can get leaner, get stronger, run faster, and run longer than you ever thought possible. This is Running Lean.
Hey there, and welcome to Episode 133, of Running Lean. My name is Patrick McGilvray, the weight loss coach for runners and today being an example to those around you. So today, I’ve got a bit of a different podcast episode for you. Today, I want this to be more of a call to action. So I believe that each and every one of us has the ability to make a positive impact on this world. And you don’t have to be a celebrity, or a social media influencer in order to do it.
Being an example of those around me is a big part of my mission. It’s how I make a positive impact in the world. And it drives me ever forward. So my hope today is that you listen to this episode and then take action. And I’m going to encourage you to do something today to start being an example to those around you. And then maybe just maybe some of those people will do the same.
And just imagine the ripple effect of positive changes we could make if we all lead by example. But first, I’m going to talk quickly about the Running Lean coaching project. This is my coaching program, my immersive coaching program. And something I want to mention today is that the way that I do coaching is a little bit different from other people, I don’t just hand over a plan and say, here’s what you’re going to do. And then you’re kind of on your own.
This is about creating new habits, it’s about creating a different lifestyle. Because what you’ve been doing up to this point, probably hasn’t been working for you. Or you’ve tried a bunch of things in the past, a bunch of other diets, maybe even had some other type of nutrition coaching, or dietary advice or dietary coaching, that really hasn’t worked for you.
And so I do things differently. What I teach in my programs is all about longevity, it’s all about sustainability. It’s all about maintaining good healthy eating habits and good exercise habits. For the rest of your life. It isn’t about the short term, it’s not about losing weight as fast as possible. It’s not about some quick fix. This is about the long term.
Remember, being healthy isn’t a destination we’re trying to get to, being healthy is how we live our life going forward. And I teach you exactly how to do all this in the Running Lean coaching project. Right. So this is my immersive coaching program, you get group coaching, IT support from the group, it has support and personalized guidance from me, the one on one coaching with me, they get tons of access to me.
And this, this whole program is designed to help you get results. It’s about results. It’s about you accomplishing your goals, whatever those look like for you. So it’s a personalized approach that helps you accomplish your goals, and is going to look different for you than it does for somebody else. And that’s cool, because there is no one size fits all when it comes to becoming the healthiest and most badass version of yourself. There just isn’t. That’s why I do what I do.
And if you want this for yourself, if you want to learn how to become the best version of yourself and how to maintain that forever, then just go to runningleancoaching.com/apply, fill out a short application, you and I will jump on a zoom call. I’ll talk to you all about the coaching program, I’ll explain exactly how it works. And we’ll just see if there’s a good fit for you. Sound good? runningleancoaching.com/apply, I would love to have you in the Running Lean coaching project. Okay, so on to this topic today, being an example to those around you.
And like I said at the beginning, this is a bit of a different episode, I’m going to share a little bit about how I ended up where I am today. And the power of being an example and what that means to me. And then I really want this to be something where you take the information I’m going to share with you today and then you do something with it.
So be sure to listen to the end of this because I’ve got a call to action for you towards the end of this episode. And I want you to actually do something starting today to move in that direction of being an example to those around you. Okay. So be sure to listen to the end.
So here’s how I got to kind of where I am today. So 20 years ago, I was a very, very different person. I was significantly overweight. probably pushing 235 or so, 240. At my heaviest, I was very much out of shape. I couldn’t run at all, if I tried to run, there’s just no way even if I had to save my life, I couldn’t run a lick.
I was constantly sick, I was using alcohol as an emotional management tool, because I had no emotional management tools other than food and alcohol. I mean, that’s how I dealt with everything. I just numbed out everything. I was pretty miserable all the time, never felt good, I had zero energy.
And to be honest with you, I really felt like a disappointment. I felt like I was a disappointment to people around me, to my kids, to my family, to my friends, and especially to myself. And at some point along the way, I made a decision that I was never going to be a disappointment to myself or to anybody else, again, that I wasn’t gonna live my life the way I had been up to this point.
And so I started doing things differently. I quit drinking, that was a tough thing for me to do. But I had to make that choice for myself, that that was a problem for me. And that was something that was getting in the way of who I wanted to be. And it was really causing me to feel terrible all the time.
And, and not allowing me to grow, you know, mentally, emotionally. Or to become the healthiest version of myself, there was no way I could get there if I kept drinking alcohol. Because for me, once I start drinking, I can’t stop and have that same relationship with food, especially sugar, carbohydrates, that once I start eating that stuff, I can’t stop.
And I’m the kind of person who would go and get, you know, massive amounts of food I was an overeater as well. Massive amounts of food, people would look at me like, dude, seriously, you’re eating that much food? It’s like, yeah, lay off me, I’m starving. And I ate and drank in a way that was very unhealthy. Right?
And those two things were really combined especially to create this like very unhealthy version of myself and things were not good in my life. You know, I was going through a divorce. And I made this decision to change all that and I cleaned up my diet and I quit drinking and then one thing I did that helped more than anything else was I started running.
And I ran a 10k. And then I signed up for my first marathon. And I did that. And then I was kind of hooked, I got that running bug. And that was sort of a catalyst for me to start doing things that challenged me that were hard that required me to step up my game from a bunch of different viewpoints.
You know, I had to step up my mental and emotional game, I had to step up my nutrition game, I had to step up my fitness game, if I was going to be like this marathon runner, right? So you know, I cleaned up my diet, started running, I got stronger, I started lifting weights. And I really began working on my mindset. A big part of my transformation was the mindset piece.
And listen, I made a lot of mistakes along the way, I would love to sit here and tell you that everything has been rainbows and unicorns, since I decided to kind of get healthy, but it really hasn’t been. And I don’t know if you guys can relate to this, but I’ve had some starts and stops.
You know, I’ve experienced tons of ups and downs, places in you know, times in the last 10, 12, 15 years where I’ve had lots of successes and lots of failures. I’ve had triumphs, and I’ve had tragedies I’ve experienced, being in the best shape of my life. And then, you know, getting out of shape again, during that period of time, you know, lost a bunch of weight, and then gained most of it back and then I had to lose it again.
I’ve been in the best shape of my life and then other times not so much. I dealt with all kinds of challenges of life. And I’ve dealt with these things with courage and determination and grace at times. And other times I’ve had challenges that I really struggled to deal with. But here’s the thing, honestly, today looking at my life the way it is today, I wouldn’t change a thing about my past, I wouldn’t change any stuff that I went through. Because all that hard stuff I went through all those challenges that I experienced have made me who I am today.
You know, it’s the challenges that really cause us to change and grow and evolve and become more, we don’t grow and evolve and become more by staying in our comfort zone, we have to get out of our comfort zone. And sometimes we are forced out of our comfort zone by things that happen to us, you know, death in the family, or another divorce, these things are very challenging. And they can really throw us off.
Or we can step up and face them with courage and determination and move through them. Because the only way to get through challenging stuff is to move through it can’t go around it. You can’t avoid it, a lot of times you have to go right through it. But those are the things that make us who we are. So all that stuff I’ve experienced in my past, I can look at those things and say, yeah, I’ve grown because of that, I’ve become a different person, I’ve become a better person because of that.
And looking back over my past and over all the stuff that I’ve been through, I can see that throughout all of it, throughout all of it, I was being an example to others. Now, I wasn’t always being a good example. A lot of times I can say with complete honesty, that a lot of times I was being an example of what not to do. Okay. Overdrinking, eating junk food, getting incredibly overweight, losing a bunch of weight, gaining it all back and losing it again, don’t do that. Okay, that was sort of like the message.
I think some people were saying they were like, dude, I don’t want to be like this guy. Right? But at some point along the way, I decided that I didn’t want to be the example of what not to do. That I wanted to be a good example to the people around me. You know, at some point, I decided to be an example of what is possible, a positive example of good health, and happiness.
Now, when I talk about being an example to those around you and making an impact in this world, I’m not talking about, you don’t have to be a celebrity in order to impact the world, you don’t have to have a you don’t have to be a social media influencer with millions of followers, right? I can still make an impact on my world, my sphere of influence. And so can you.
And my sphere of influence is quite small. I have my kids and my family, I have my friends. And I have my social media, friends and social media followers and my listeners you. But here’s the thing, even though my sphere of influence might be small, I can make an impact by helping one person at a time.
And when I help one person to become better to become the best version of themselves, and then people in their world see that they want to follow suit. They have then become an example to their sphere of influence to their world. And you can see how the ripple effect starts to take effect here.
And so my mission, my mission in life is to make a positive impact on this world, to transform as many people as possible, to help them to become healthier, happier humans, I want to help you to become the healthiest and most badass version of yourself. I say this all the time here on the podcast, why?
Because this is my mission. This is why I do what I do. This is my calling. This is what gets me up in the morning. This is why I show up for you here every week on his podcast. This is why I show up for myself too. And in order to fulfill this mission, I have to be an example. I can be an example. And I can help one person at a time. And I know this is a slow process. But that’s okay. I’m not in this to be you know, to be to do it fast.
So I want to help you become the healthiest and most badass version of yourself. And then I want you to be an example of what’s possible to the people in your world to your sphere of influence. And then each of those people become an example to their people in their world and so on and so forth. Right? This is the ripple effect. So we can change the world.
Me and you, we can do it. It just takes being an example, it takes living your life in such a way that the behaviors that you engage in on a daily basis, are in alignment with that best version of yourself. Because when the actions that you take and your behaviors are in alignment with your goals of becoming that badass version of yourself, that’s when the good stuff happens.
Now we all have, like, we all want to be our best selves, right? I mean, I think we do talk to people all the time, we want to become their best selves. But their actions, their behaviors don’t always line up with that. They’re doing things that are really the opposite of that. And that was me, and I get it.
You know, overdrinking for me, was not a behavior that was moving me towards the best version of myself. So I had to cut that out of my life. Eating sugar, for me, is not something that works for me. And it’s something that moves me away from becoming the healthiest version of myself. So I’d cut that out of my life. So what I do today is in alignment with who I want to be.
And so for me, it’s about becoming the best version of myself in every area of my life. And there are four key areas that I coach on in my program. And when you work with me, you’re going to improve in all of these areas. And they are nutrition, strength, endurance, and mindset.
Nutrition. Am I eating real food? Is the food that I’m eating? Does it still look like food? Or is it processed garbage? Is it full of chemicals and sugar and seed oils? Or does it still look like food our ancestors have been eating for thousands of years? Am I fueling my body like an athlete? Or am I just eating like a couch potato?
Am I using food as an emotional management tool? Because I used to do that a lot. You know, am I dealing with my emotions? Do I feel good about my food choices? Am I in control of my food choices? Or does my eating feel out of control? These are ways that I can kind of check myself and say, okay is my nutrition on point?
And then strength. So at 55 years old, I’m in the best shape of my life, I’m the strongest I’ve ever been, you know, I have changed my body composition. Over the last few years, I’ve gained like 20 pounds of muscle. And I’m down to about 12% body fat. And I’m getting stronger all the time. I keep improving this.
I’m actually in this phase right now where I’m trying to gain weight, I’m trying to gain muscle weight. And so I’m eating a little bit more protein, I’m eating more calories in general. And I’m not gaining fat or I’m not gaining body fat, I’m gaining muscle. And at 55, the fact that I can do this, should prove to you that you can do it too. So this is me being an example for you.
Endurance, I’m still running strong. I typically do one to two marathons a year, I have for the last 12 years and I’ve done countless ultra marathons during that time. My body’s holding up. I’m not injured, I don’t get injuries and strength. The fact that I have built so much strength over the last few years helps immensely with all of that.
In my mindset, this is one of the most powerful things that I’ve changed for the better for myself. Because mindset drives everything. So your mindset, this is your thoughts, your feelings, your attitudes, it’s your mental and emotional state at any given time. And a lot of the a lot of the behaviors that are engaged in the damaging behaviors that we engage in, like overeating or overdrinking is because we’re using those things, alcohol or food as an emotional management tool.
We don’t want to deal with our emotions. So instead we eat over them or we drink over them. But learning how to manage emotions without eating junk food or drinking alcohol, or smoking cigarettes or doing you know, heroin or whatever your drug of choice might be. This is one of the most powerful things you can do for yourself. Because armed with the right mindset, there’s really nothing you can’t do.
So between my nutrition, strength, endurance and mindset, these four key areas I have become at this point in my life, I’m the best version of myself I am and I’ve got some goals. You know I’ve got goals I want to improve in all these areas still, and I will and I continue to move in the direction of my goals. I’m always working on myself, and you should be too.
And this isn’t about like ego or vanity, I’m not trying to prove anything to anyone else. I don’t need to prove my worth to anyone outside of myself, I stopped trying to do that years ago. It’s not about comparing myself to anyone else. I only care about comparing who I am today, to who I was yesterday, am I a better version of myself today? Yes or no.
And I’m not trying to impress anyone, either. My goal is to lead by example. And that’s it. Instead of trying to impress people by what I do, I want to inspire them by who I am. So here’s the call to action part. I want you to do something today, to move in the direction of you becoming the best version of yourself.
I want you to do something today to inspire somebody around you, you can make a positive impact on this world, you can help create healthier, happier humans around you. This could be your kids, your family, your friends, your followers, whatever. You can do this, you have that power. And you are takes, it just takes doing something yourself to move in the direction of you becoming the best version of yourself. When you do that, you will show people what is possible, you will be an example of what is possible to the people around you.
So what is one thing you can do today, to be a positive example. Maybe you could make a healthy meal for your family. Simple, right? Maybe you can go for a run. And then post about it, post about how good you feel. You know, I know people are like, geez, we need to see you posting on Facebook about your runs again. But listen, people tell me all the time. They’re like I’m so inspired by you.
And people were telling me this long before I was doing what I’m doing today years and years and years ago, I would post pictures of me running or post about running. And people say I’m so inspired. Just by sharing little vignettes of my day. Here’s what I did today, I got up early and I went for a run, people see that. Maybe you could skip dessert tonight. And instead, take a walk with your kids or your dog. Maybe you grab a friend and you head out to some trails and do some hiking or some trail running.
Maybe tomorrow morning, you get up early and you hit the gym, you lift some heavy weights, you could read a book on personal development, a couple of my favorites would be Atomic Habits by James Clear, or The Obstacle Is The Way by Ryan Holiday.
Maybe you get a good night’s sleep tonight, that could be something very simple to do. But you can be an example to others. When you get a good night’s sleep and you feel more well rested. When you wake up in the morning, maybe you start your day with some meditation, or some journaling. Or take a yoga class.
There are countless ways that you can improve your own personal health and happiness. Whether it’s nutrition, strength, endurance or mindset. But what I want to encourage you to do is to do something, take action now do something today. And then tomorrow, I want you to do something else. Okay. Here’s where I’m going with this. So it doesn’t stop.
This isn’t a one and done. Right? Every day, we show up for ourselves to become the best version of ourselves. And when we do that, when we do that, you we can’t help but to be an example to the people around us. Because people will notice. People will notice what you’re doing.
And listen, I talked to clients all the time who start to feel really good. So we’ve cleaned up their diet, maybe they started lifting weights or something and they feel so good. And they want to tell everybody about what they’re doing. And they and they see friends and family and they’re like, oh, and they might make comments like you should really be doing what I’m doing.
But here’s the thing, nobody likes to be told what to do. I’m just going to tell you right now, even though, you know you feel good and you’re excited about it, you know how you feel and you want to share this with everybody. But nobody wants to be told what to do. Nobody wants to be told what to do.
But people will see what you’re doing. If it works for you, they will see you becoming healthier, maybe losing weight, feeling better, getting stronger, looking amazing. Rockin that bikini in the summer, whatever it is, they’ll see that. And they’ll want that. And they might ask you about it.
You know, for years, my son Colin was overweight, you know. And for years, even though I’m a weight loss coach, I never talked to him about I never told him what to do. I never pushed any kind of agenda on him. At some point, when he was ready to change, he just came to me because he saw what I was doing. He saw how I had lost the weight and kept it off. And he saw how I was helping countless other people to do the same.
And then one day finally came to me and asked if I would be willing to coach him. Of course, I said yes. And of course, it was like a huge, proud dad moment for me. But this is how it works. You see, we lead by example, not by proselytizing. We inspire others by who we are, by how we live our life, not by impressing them by the stuff we do.
We become the healthiest and most badass versions of ourselves. And then those people around us, they will see that they will see that and they will see who we’ve become. And some of them not all, but some of them will want to follow suit. So you have your marching orders. Get busy today doing something, just one thing today, to move toward that best and healthiest and most badass version of yourself. And then tomorrow. Do it again. Cool. All right. That’s all I got for you. I love you all. Keep on Running Lean, and I’ll talk to you soon.
If you’re a runner and you’ve been struggling to lose weight or you keep losing and gaining the same 10 pounds over and over again. Or you’re finally ready to get to your natural weight and stay there for good this time then I have something you will love. I’ve created a powerful new training just for you called running lean for life. You’ll learn exactly how to transform yourself into a lean fat-burning running machine. So you can run without bonking, lose weight without calorie counting and develop the habits required to make it last for life. To get this free training right now go to runningleanpodcast.com/leanforlife and start your transformation today.
If you want to lose weight and be able to keep it off for good, you have to shift your mindset. I think you probably know this by now since I talk about it all the time. But there’s a reason why …
Continue Reading about 116. The One Big Mindset Shift You Have to Make →
My name is Patrick McGilvray, and I’m an experienced marathoner, ultra runner, Sports Nutritionist, Master Life Coach, and weight loss coach for runners. I’ve dedicated my life to helping runners just like you properly fuel your body and your mind. So you can get leaner, get stronger, run faster and run longer than you ever thought possible. This is Running Lean.
Hey there, and welcome to episode 116 of Running Lean. My name is Patrick McGilvray, the weight loss coach for runners. And today, the one big mindset shift you have to make. If you want to lose weight and be able to keep it off for good, you have to shift your mindset. I think you probably know this by now since I talk about it all the time here on the podcast.
But there’s a reason why I spend so much time on this subject. It’s because it’s one of the most important factors in whether or not you keep the weight off permanently, getting leaner and stronger. It’s mostly an inside job, right? So today I’m going to share with you perhaps the biggest mindset shift you have to make if you want to create healthy new habits that last for life.
But first, I want to give you guys a quick little FYI. So you may have heard a short little podcast episode that I released accidentally. A couple of days ago, this was a message I was sending to my private coaching clients. So I have another private podcast feed that’s just for my private coaching clients.
And I record trainings and I record group coaching calls, and I released those on a private podcast so that my coaching clients can listen to those things after the fact. You know, maybe they weren’t able to make a group coaching call live. And so they can listen to the replays.
Well, the way that I do my podcasts is I have this program that I use that basically has two boxes that are right next to each other and one of them is for this live public podcast that goes out to the whole world. And then right next to it, there’s another box that’s like for just my private coaching clients.
And every time I put out an episode for my private clients, I’m always like, Okay, did I do this right? Am I in the right box? Because I know one of these days, I’m going to make a mistake. And sure enough, I was just in a hurry yesterday, or whatever I did this couple of days ago. And I was like, cool. it’s all good, publish it.
And I started getting these emails from people like, Hey, I hear you’re, you’re going away with this podcast like you’re not going to be doing it anymore. Where’s it going to be? I didn’t get an email. Because in this in this message I send out I’m changing my platform for the private podcast because I don’t want to make these kinds of mistakes in the future, right?
Anyway, I totally screwed up, I put it out in the wrong place. So if you received that podcast where I was like, hey, this is going away, you got to check your email to find out where to get the new podcast. That was all just a mistake, it was intended to just go out to my coaching clients, so you can just disregard it.
Nothing’s changing here on the Running Lean podcast at all. It’s still gonna be right here while you normally listen, you don’t have to do anything differently. Nothing’s changing. And I apologize for any of the confusion. But technology, am I right?
And then I wanted to give you guys a quick heads up that I’ve got a live workshop coming up again next week. So it’s five simple steps to becoming a leaner, stronger runner. And listen, you may have already tried everything to lose weight. But what you’ve already tried probably doesn’t work. And it’s not that you’re a bad person or you lack willpower. You’ve just been given a lot of bad advice, right? So using willpower doesn’t work. Fad diets don’t work. Counting calories doesn’t work.
You’ve heard me talk about all this stuff before, right? Deprivation and starvation don’t work, running more miles doesn’t work. So what does work well? Understanding how habits actually work in the science of making habit change permanent that works.
A personalized approach to support both your weight loss and your running goals – that works. And what you need is a comprehensive plan of action that works on the mental emotional and physical changes required so you can absolutely lose weight and keep it off for good. You just need the right information.
And that’s exactly what you’re going to learn in this free workshop. You’re going to learn how to get leaner become stronger and transform yourself into the healthiest and most badass version of yourself yet. To sign up for this free workshop just go to runningleancoaching.com/workshop.
And I’m going to give you guys a couple more opportunities, I’m doing this three times. So the first one was March 17. And that would be yesterday if you’re listening to this podcast today, the day that it comes out. The next one is going to be Thursday, March 24. And then I’ll do another one the following Thursday. So if you can’t make it, this one time, that’s fine. Look, go for the next one.
And listen, we’re gonna have fun together, okay, it’s live. It’s interactive, you get to ask questions. And we’re going to try to have some fun doing this stuff. This, this topic of like, getting healthier and getting stronger and losing weight. It doesn’t have to be like suffer-fest. We don’t have to take ourselves too seriously. We can have fun doing this. Right? Cool. All right.
So today, the one big mindset shift that you have to make. So let me ask you this question. How is your mindset different? Think about that. Do you ever spend any time thinking about how your mindset is actually determining everything that you get in your life? No. Okay, that’s cool. That’s why I’m talking about this here today.
The truth is, most people do not spend any time thinking about this. Most people just think that the way that they think is like their thoughts, the way they feel their emotional state, all this stuff is just fixed. And it cannot be changed. Like you’ve been programmed like an android, to have certain thoughts, feelings, and beliefs about yourself, and that they are just permanently fixed. And there’s nothing you can do about it. That’s it. This is who you are. This is what you think. These are the things that you believe, good luck with your semi-human existence robot.
You are not a robot, your mindset is not fixed. You can absolutely change your mindset at any time, then this is the first thing I want you to understand here today, that your mindset is not fixed, it is changeable. Now, it may feel like it’s not changeable. Because you’ve been thinking the same thoughts, your whole life, maybe over and over again. For decades, you’ve been believing the same things. For those decades, you’ve been feeling the same way.
And so in a way, I mean, you’ve sort of programmed yourself with this current mindset that you have.
And just a little like sidebar here, like what if we are actually all just androids and we’ve programmed ourselves? Hmm. This is like, eerily close to a Philip K. Dick sci-fi story. And if you’re not familiar with Philip K, Dick and who he is, and his work, check out, Blade Runner, The Man in the High Castle, Total Recall, Minority Report, and so on. Awesome, awesome sci-fi writer right here. He talks a lot about androids.
And whether or not, you know, androids can think, and are they actually humans? Are we actually androids? Hmm? Of course, we’re not androids, right? We’re not robots, but we can get ourselves stuck in a fixed mindset. And I want you to know this, that you have the power to change your mindset, always. It may not feel like it, but you do. We have to understand this thing.
Okay, so first of all got to understand that your mindset, the way you think and feel about yourself is changeable. And listen, the reason I talk so much about mindset here on the podcast is that if you want to make big changes in your life like if you want to lose weight and keep it off for good, it’s all about your mindset, right? I’ve talked about this before, what you do, you know, your diet and exercise and things like that. It’s like 20% of the equation, the other 80% is your mindset.
Losing weight, initially is mostly about what you do, like you’ve got to change your diet, right? Keeping it off for good. That’s almost entirely about your mindset because you’ve already figured out what to do you know what to do. It’s all about mindset. And this word, mindset. It’s a huge, huge word. It means so much.
It’s like, all of your thoughts, all of your feelings, all of the things you believe about yourself in the world. It’s your values. It’s your whole attitude, and outlook on life. It’s really how you feel about yourself, how you feel about other people, and how you feel about society. And like it’s huge, right? It’s a huge, huge topic.
And this is why I talked so much about it here on the podcast because there’s so much to it. And I can’t possibly tell you in one podcast episode like everything you need to know about mindset. Okay, so, you know, it would be a really long podcast episode. Maybe I’ll do it someday. Be fun with you guys like that would be fun.
So today, what I want to do is I want to focus on one specific part of your mindset. And this is one of the most powerful, if not the most powerful parts of your mindset. And it’s the one part of your mindset that basically drives everything else. Okay? And this one part of your mindset, we call this your identity.
So your identity is who you are, at your core. It’s everything you say, after the words, I am. Like, for me, here are some parts of my identity – I am a man, I am a runner, I am a coach. These are all parts of my identity. This is all part of who I am at my core, how I see myself.
When Darth Vader says to Luke, “I am your father.” He’s speaking from his identity, right? This is who he is at his core, Darth Vader is a father. You know, we think of him as just this evil, you know, villain with no feelings at all. But we have to acknowledge this because his identity is driving his behavior.
And later on, right, he defies the emperor, he saves his son, because, at his core, he’s a father, he can’t kill his own son. You know, and we have, like, empathy for him at the end, sorry, if that’s a spoiler alert if you haven’t seen the Star Wars series already, whatever. And I hope you don’t mind my sci-fi references today. I’m just feeling very sci-fi-ey this morning for some reason.
But listen, your identity, it’s like the root of who you are. Okay. But here’s the thing. And this is the part I mean, that you got to understand, like, you can still change it, you can still change it, even though it’s your identity, and you feel like it’s like fixed and unchangeable, you can still change it.
Think about this, if you’re a mother, and you have kids, like being a mother is part of your identity, right? And it’s probably always going to be part of your identity. And you, you probably wouldn’t want to change that you would want to always be a mother. But even this, which seems like something that is completely fixed can be changed.
So there are some women who, you know, have kids and they give them up for adoption, because they don’t want to be mothers, okay, or whatever reason, right? And that’s okay. So this is even this, like deep-seated part of your identity of like, being a mother can be changed, okay. I just want you to understand this, that your identity is very, very powerful, and changeable, you can change it. And if you want things to be different in your life, then you need to step into a new identity to get there.
You need to assume the identity of someone who is leaner, stronger, and faster, if that’s what you want for yourself. You have to let go of the parts of your identity that are holding you back and keeping you overweight and keeping you stuck there.
So here’s a little bit of a story about me and a big shift that I had to make in my identity. So for a long time there for many years, part of my identity was I am a vegan. And nothing could change that for me.
I had programmed myself with this identity. So everything I did was filtered through the lens of I am a vegan I eat a plant-based diet. Like how I fueled you know how I ate, you know, obviously, but how I feel about running, how I felt about eating animals, what I thought of other people who ate me what restaurants I ate at. The people I spent time with books, I read blogs, I read podcasts, I listened to movies I watched where I shop for food, what kinds of food about everything in my life was driven by this huge part of my identity.
You can see how, what a powerful part of my mindset this was, right? This was who I was at my core, I’m a vegan, this is who I was okay. And I held on to this identity for dear life. For like 10 years, I held on to this part of my identity. I did not waver.
Now, even though at that time, I was not super healthy. I was steadily gaining weight. You know, I couldn’t put muscle on no matter how much I was lifting weights. And this identity that I had and I didn’t realize it at the time. I can see it now but I didn’t realize at the time this identity that I was holding onto so tightly was kind of keeping me stuck. It was keeping me from getting healthier and getting stronger.
That identity was not serving me, it was actually detrimental to my health and my athletic performance, but I would not let go of it. Because at my core, I was like, this is who I am.
So you can see how powerful your identity is how it drives your thoughts, it drives your beliefs, it drives your feelings, it drives your behavior. And ultimately, it drives and determines all the results that you get in your life.
So for me, I had to make a big change. I was getting overweight, I gained like 40 pounds during this process, right. But I just held on to this identity with a death grip, I was like not letting go of it.
And at some point a few years ago, I had to let go of that identity, I had to change my identity from I’m a vegan to I’m a meat-eater. And this was not an easy thing for me to do, you can imagine the internal struggle that I had with this decision. And if you want to learn more about this, I did a whole podcast on this. It’s episode number 32. It’s called Why I Changed My Mind About Eating Meat.
And I want to say this, I have to say this because I know that I’m going to get emails from people about this. But there’s nothing wrong with being vegan. There’s nothing wrong with being plant-based.
If this is you, and you identify this way, and this is part of your identity, and it’s working for you, that’s amazing. It did not work for me, my experience was I was eating a ton of sugar, I was eating a ton of refined carbohydrates, I wasn’t getting enough protein, I wasn’t doing it right.
And today, I have a different attitude about all this, I work with a lot of people who are vegan or vegetarian, and they do amazing, they lose weight, they get stronger, they get healthier. So I know how to do this differently now. But I’ve sort of just let go of that identity of being plant-based and being a vegan, right.
But today, I can help people that have this as part of their identity and as part of their beliefs. And as part of like what they feel is right for them. And that’s totally awesome. I love it. Like whatever diet you choose is fine, as long as it’s working for you.
If you’re slowly gaining weight and becoming unhealthy, and you know, you can’t get strong and things like that we got to change some things, we can still do it, you know, plant-based or vegan, vegetarian, whatever you’d like to do, okay, but what I was doing was not working for me. So I had to make that decision to change for myself and I decided to start eating meat again. And I started to change. And it made a big difference for me, and I got off to sugar and the refined carbs and all that other junk, okay.
But I want you to understand the incredible power of this one mindset to shift your identity, it’s driving all of your thoughts, all of your feelings, it’s driving your values and your beliefs. It’s driving, how you think about yourself, how you feel about yourself, and how you think and feel about the world around you.
Your identity is driving your actions, your behaviors, what you do each day is largely determined by who you are at your core. And all the results that you’re getting in your life are not getting determined by your identity. So everything you say after the words “I am” is going to help to determine what you get in your life. The results you’re getting in your life are mostly determined by your identity, we have to understand this.
So I want to challenge you, I want to challenge you to change those parts of your identity that are not serving you. I want to challenge you to take a look at all the different parts of your identity. And ask yourself, Is this really something that I want to hang on to or not?
Look at who you are and all the deep-seated thoughts and beliefs that you have about yourself? Which of these do you want to keep? Which do you think you want to change? So you might have this deeply held belief that you cannot lose weight? No matter what you do?
Your identity might be “I’m hopeless”, and that’s who you see yourself. And that’s who you are at your core. But is that working for you? Is that serving you? Is this helping you or hurting you? Is it helping you to make progress? Or is it keeping you stuck? “I’m hopeless.” This is probably going to just keep you stuck.
Other identities that you have that you might want to change. “I’m a failure. I never stick to a diet. I’m weak. I have no discipline. I’m not a real runner. I’m too old. I’m too slow. I’m too weak.”
What if all of this was just BS? Like what if all the things you’ve always thought about yourself are wrong? Think about this. The truth is you’re deciding what you believe about yourself. Nobody’s programming you from the outside like you’re doing it yourself.
You get to decide who you are. You get to decide what identity you take on for yourself. So your challenge is to get honest with yourself. And really take a hard look at those identities and how they’re affecting every area of your life. And then be willing to change them be willing to make different decisions.
Changing our identity, it’s not easy. It takes courage, takes determination, it takes some time. But mostly it takes you making the decision that you want to change, that you want something more for yourself, that you’re no longer going to be driven by an old identity that’s just keeping you stuck, and miserable. Okay, that’s your challenge. Look at all of this stuff, the core of who you are, and challenge all of it.
Okay, you can do this, you’ve got this, my friends. And remember, if you’re ready to step into your new identity and make healthy habits last for good, then you have to check out my free live workshop. It’s coming up Thursday, March 24.
To sign up just go to runningleancoaching.com/workshop, I would love to see you there. You’re gonna learn a lot. We’re gonna have some fun together. Love you all. Keep on Running Lean. I’ll talk to you soon.
If you’re a runner and you’ve been struggling to lose weight or you keep losing and gaining the same 10 pounds over and over again. Or you’re finally ready to get to your natural weight and stay there for good this time then I have something you will love. I’ve created a powerful new training just for you called running lean for life. You’ll learn exactly how to transform yourself into a lean fat-burning running machine. So you can run without bonking, lose weight without calorie counting and develop the habits required to make it last for life. To get this free training right now go to runningleanpodcast.com/leanforlife and start your transformation today.
When you set out to reach big goals like losing weight and getting fit, you will eventually come face-to-face with all your fears and insecurities. Even just thinking about changing your diet can …
Continue Reading about 115. Overcoming Weight Loss Fears and Insecurities →
My name is Patrick McGilvray, and I’m an experienced marathoner, ultra runner, Sports Nutritionist, Master Life Coach, and weight loss coach for runners. I’ve dedicated my life to helping runners just like you properly fuel your body and your mind. So you can get leaner, get stronger, run faster and run longer than you ever thought possible. This is Running Lean.
Hey there, and welcome to episode 115 of Running Lean. My name is Patrick McGilvray, the weight loss coach for runners and today overcoming weight loss fears and insecurities.
So when it comes to reaching big goals, like losing weight and getting fit, you will eventually come face to face with a bunch of fears and insecurities it’s going to happen. Even just thinking about changing your diet can get you feeling pretty anxious, right?
You might even just say like no thanks to the whole idea. So you don’t have to deal with all the negative stuff that’s bound to come up when you engage in this process.
But I want to offer another approach, I want you to think about what it would feel like to actually deal with all those fears and insecurities instead of trying to avoid them. In this episode, I’m spending some time talking about overcoming these weight loss fears and insecurities.
This is a topic that’s been on my mind a lot lately. And it’s a very powerful thing. It’s a very powerful skill that you can learn if you’re willing to do the work and face your fears head-on.
But first, I wanted to give you a heads up about something cool that’s coming up here. Next week, I am teaching a live workshop, it’s all about how to effectively transform yourself from the inside out into a leaner, stronger, more badass runner, it’s called five simple steps to becoming a leaner, stronger runner.
This will be the most informative and one of the most comprehensive live workshops that I’ve ever taught. I don’t do this kind of thing very often. But I was feeling pretty excited about this topic, and I wanted to share it with you guys.
And I thought, you know, instead of doing a podcast about this, I wanted to teach it live, there’s this real energy when we all get together when we can ask questions, and there’s that interaction. And so it’s gonna be fun, we’re gonna have a good time doing this.
Okay, you’re going to learn how to get leaner, how to become stronger, and how to become the healthiest and most badass version of yourself yet, that is the goal. That’s what I want you to walk away from, with this workshop.
To sign up, just go to runningleancoaching.com/workshop. And it’s next Thursday, the 17th at 8 pm Eastern time. Now I’m going to be doing this a couple more times. I’ll give you more updates on that later.
I can’t really schedule those just yet just because of the whatever scheduling software that I’m using and things like that. So as soon as this one is over, I’ll let you know about that other one that’s coming up, the next one that’s coming up.
So if you can’t make it on the 17th, no worries, I’m gonna give you a couple more opportunities. Cool. If I didn’t mention it, this is free and fun. We’re gonna have fun together. Okay. So to sign up, just go to runningleancoaching.com/workshop, I hope to see you there.
Alright, let’s get into this topic of overcoming weight loss fears and insecurities. This is something that has been on my mind lately, it’s something that I really wanted to take a deep dive into.
Because it’s one of those topics that comes up for every single person, every single person that I work with has this issue come up where they have to deal with the fears and insecurities around their own weight loss journey, whether they can do it or not, you know, whether they have failed in the past or not and all this stuff comes up.
But it’s one of those things that we don’t want to talk about. It’s one of those things we just want to pretend isn’t there. And so what a lot of people do is, you know, they set out to do something like lose weight, you know, they set out to like, make a big lifestyle change like this.
And then all this stuff starts coming up and they just want to avoid it. So it kind of looks like this. Like, let’s say you make a decision that you want to lose some weight. And you embark on some sort of weight loss plan. Like you join a group program, you hire a coach, you know, whatever.
As soon as you decide to make a big change like this, then commit to making that change. That’s when things are gonna start to get all scary for you. Just thinking about changing your diet like making some permanent lifestyle changes, just thinking about it can put you into freakout mode, right?
I want you to know something. There’s nothing wrong with you if this has happened to you or if it’s happening to you right now, this is super normal. It’s just your brain, your brain doing what it does best. It’s trying to keep you safe. It’s trying to keep you comfortable. It’s trying to avoid pain and seek pleasure.
So I want you to do this experiment right now, I just want you to think about this. Think about changing your diet, think about what it would take to lose those 30 pounds or 20 pounds or 50 pounds or whatever it is.
Are you starting to freak out a little bit right now is your heart starting to race orare your palms sweating? If they are, again, this is totally normal. What’s happening here, just thinking about this is starting to put you outside of your comfort zone.
And this idea of getting outside your comfort zone in order to grow in order to become more. Your brain does not like this idea. Your brain wants to keep you safe. That’s what your brain’s job is.
Your brain is sensing something unfamiliar here. It’s sensing something uncomfortable here. It’s sensing something dangerous. It’s not really dangerous. But it feels unfamiliar and uncomfortable. And so your brain is like, get me out of here, and you go into that freakout mode.
This is why most people just don’t ever start. They never even take on the challenge of you know trying to lose weight or get stronger, get fitter, get leaner run faster, whatever it is. Because just thinking about it seems overwhelming, it seems too hard.
You start to have all these fears and insecurities come bubbling up to the surface, you go into freakout mode, and you’re like, haha, I don’t want anything to do with that. So you just stay where you are.
But when you start to make these uncomfortable changes, when you actually start to do this stuff, your brain senses the danger. And then these fears and insecurities are going to start to come up to the surface, okay? And your thoughts and your feelings are going to come up stuff like, this is going to be so hard.
‘I don’t know if I can do this. I’m going to be hungry all the time. What if this doesn’t work for me? I mean, this never worked for me in the past? Well, what’s gonna be different this time? What if I can’t make it last, right? What if I can’t sustain this? What if it’s not something I can do forever? What if I gain the weight back? I’ve never been able to do this before, it’s always been hard for me. I know I’m going to fail. People are going to judge me, I’m going to lose friends over this.’
And on and on and on. Like, we can just go into this mode of like, thinking about all the insecurities and all the fears and all the anxiety that we have around this topic of wanting to get healthy and do something good for ourselves. And all these thoughts begin to dominate your brain.
And honestly, this is why most people just won’t even start there. It’s just too much for them. There’s too much fear and insecurity there. And the funny thing is they haven’t even done anything yet they haven’t even started.
You’re just like thinking about this and all this stuff comes up. Okay, they haven’t even actually begun the work, they haven’t started changing their habits, they haven’t done anything differently other than just like had these thoughts. So you can see how detrimental this can be for you. Right.
So I’m going to talk about this in two ways. What I’m talking about right now, this is like part one of this because before you even begin the process before you even embark on your weight loss journey before you actually start making any changes, all this stuff’s gonna come up for you.
Right, just thinking about it, all this stuff’s gonna come up for you. So this is kind of like the first part of this, okay? The negative thoughts will come up to the surface, and they can just completely stop you in your tracks, they can keep you from doing anything at all keep you from taking any action keep you from making any progress keep you from ever embarking on this journey.
It’s kind of like, hey, I talk to people all the time who are like, I’d love to run a marathon someday, but I’m too afraid it’s gonna be too hard. The training’s going to be hard, I’ve never been able to run that far before. I just don’t know.
And so they just say, you know, maybe that’s just not for me, and they just don’t do it. Deep down inside, they want that for themselves. But all this stuff is coming up. Before they even get into it.
They haven’t even looked at a training plan. They haven’t started doing the work to start training for a marathon. And they’re already like, convinced they can’t do it. This is what I call pre-failing, right? You’re pre-failing, you’re failing ahead of time. Don’t do that. Don’t do that. Okay.
But this stuff just like thinking about it is going to bring up all this stuff. And you know whether or not you can lose weight, how hard it’s going to be all that. All those thoughts are going to come up. And you’ve got to be careful not to get mired down by all that stuff. It’s just a bunch of negative self-talk, right?
You have to override your brain’s natural functions, you have to override your brain’s default behavior here, right, you’re going to experience some of those thoughts, you’re going to experience some of that fear and some of those insecurities.
But that does not mean you don’t start. It doesn’t mean you can’t do it. You can. You have to feel the fear and do it anyway. You have to understand that in order to make big changes, like to your health and fitness, you’re going to get uncomfortable, it’s going to be uncomfortable, you’re going to have to embrace the suck, okay.
And this is what it means to override your brain’s default functioning, right, you’re still going to have the fears, you’re still gonna have these insecurities. But you move forward anyway. And this takes courage, and it takes determination and discipline.
But this is the work that you have to do if you want more for yourself. And remember, courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is having the fear, doing the thing anyway, and showing up. Think about a warrior going into battle.
The warrior going into battle is not lacking fear, they have the fear. But they put on their armor, they grab their shield and their sword, and they head into the melee. They embrace the discomfort, they embrace the fear, they do it anyway. It’s not a lack of fear. It’s action in the face of fear. That’s what courage is.
Okay, so part one is all the stuff that’s going to come up when you just start thinking about this right. And before you even get started.
Part two of this process is all the stuff that actually comes up when you stop using food as an emotional management tool. Because when you’re using food, to avoid feeling negative emotions, as soon as you stop doing that, all those negative emotions are going to be right there. Yay.
So all the fear and the stress and the anxiety and the anger and the frustration and all that stuff that you’ve been avoiding. By eating food, now you got to deal with all that stuff. So this is kind of part two of this when you start changing your diet, and you start and you stop using food as a way of coping with life and with stress and with feelings and sadness, and loneliness, or whatever it is you’re experiencing.
When you stop doing that, all that stuff’s gonna come up for you. Okay? All of those same, like negative self-talk, things are going to come up for you except now, you’re not using food as a way of stuffing that down. You’re not using food as a way of dealing with those difficult emotions. So now you’ve got to start feeling your feelings.
And if you’ve never done this before, I’m going to tell you right now, you are not going to like it. Isn’t that awesome? Most people do not like feeling their emotions, not the difficult ones anyway, people don’t mind feeling happy and joyful, excited and loved and stuff like that.
But the negative emotions, the ones that we label as negative like anger, sadness, grief, loneliness, hurt, stress, boredom, are all emotions that we experience, people do not like to feel those things. So what do they eat instead? You know, and some people drink.
Some people just scroll through Instagram mindlessly for hours on end. Some people drink alcohol, some people shop, we do all these things, to try to dull the feelings that we’re experiencing. So we don’t have to feel those things, right we have we are trying to do all these difficult emotions. So you eat.
Instead, you use food to feel better. And listen, it kind of works temporarily, like you get a hit of dopamine. Those pleasure centers in your brain, they get all lit up. And it feels good for a minute, and the strategy of like, eating instead of feeling your feelings, kind of works for a minute.
That doesn’t make you feel better, but only for a minute. It’s very, very brief, very temporary. Once that sugar buzz wears off, or you know, whatever you’ve been eating, all those emotions you’re trying to avoid, they just come back. Plus you get the added benefit of like feeling terrible because you went off your plan and you ate a bunch of junk food and you feel bad about that and you still have those other emotions.
And so what do you do then? You just eat more to try to make yourself feel better and it’s a vicious cycle. It’s never-ending, you’re constantly eating your feelings, trying to avoid your feelings, eating more, feeling bad about yourself, beating yourself up feeling even worse. So then you eat more, and on and on and on, rinse and repeat forever.
So what you’re doing here is you’re just postponing the whole process of actually dealing with your emotions, what you have to do is deal with the emotions, eventually, right, you have to do something about this, right? You’ve got to feel those feelings.
So you’ve set out on your weight loss journey, and you’re no longer using food as an emotional management tool. Awesome. That is good. But now, all your fears and insecurities come up. And you have to finally deal with all of that. This is when the real work begins.
Because if you can get good at handling all of the negative emotions that come up, when you stop eating your feelings, I’m telling you, you can handle just about anything, you become a total emotional badass.
By the way, we’re having some really cool conversations about this in the coaching group right now, this month, we’re talking all about overcoming emotional eating for good, and we’re taking a kind of deep dive into this topic.
And I was talking to one of my clients yesterday about this, and she was like, she didn’t realize what she was doing was emotional eating. So we have this vision in our heads of what emotional eating is.
And it’s like, you know, somebody’s like, in bed with the covers around them with a half-gallon of ice cream and a spoon crying, you know, like, that’s not really the what emotional eating looks like for most people.
And so this person was like, “I’m not an emotional eater, you know, but I’ll tell you, I had a really stressful day at work. And you know, I eat when I get stressed out like that, you know, I just go for potato chips, and you know, all these nuts and stuff, and I just can’t stop, I just, you know, it feels better.”
And I said, “Well, that’s emotional eating stress is just a feeling right?”
When you’re stress eating, it’s emotional eating, or you’re eating because you’re bored. That’s emotional, eating out of boredom, feeling bored is just a feeling. It’s an emotion. And so anytime you use food to try to dull whatever emotion you’re feeling, that’s emotional eating, okay?
So the process of overcoming your fears and insecurities around weight loss is actually dealing with your emotions. That’s what it is. That’s the process. That’s how you do it.
You actually have to embrace feeling your emotions, you have to feel your feelings, it means you have to learn how to sit with your feelings, without doing anything to change them. Without doing anything to make them go away. Just feel your feelings.
Does this sound terrible to you? It does for a lot of people. And I used to be this way too. I was like, I don’t want to feel my feelings. So ever since I was a kid, I’m very sensitive. I was a very sensitive kid, I’m still a very sensitive person.
And I used to feel things very deeply, I still do. You know, I had a very acute sense of these emotions, right? I’m just a sensitive person. So when I stopped using food, and alcohol, to numb myself to my feelings, I had to deal with that stuff, right?
I couldn’t handle feeling those negative emotions. So I would eat and drink over them, you know, I drank a lot. So I didn’t have to feel those things. I ate a lot. But then I stopped doing that at some point. And I couldn’t handle the intensity of my emotions.
And so I would freeze, I would withdraw, I would act very passive-aggressive, you could ask both of my ex-wives about this, they can attest to this. But eventually, I had to learn how to deal with all of these emotions that I was experiencing, without using food or alcohol or scrolling through Instagram or whatever.
And I did, I’ve gotten really good at sitting with my emotions and just letting them be there. And letting them sort of process through and not trying to make them go away. Not trying to change them. Not trying to squash them down. Just walking around, feeling my feelings.
And I have to tell you, my emotions are very manageable now. I don’t feel them as intensely as I used to because I’m just allowing them to be there. I’m not trying to make them go away. I’m not trying to change anything. And I don’t have to eat over them.
You know, I can still feel things intensely sometimes, but it’s not a problem for me. I don’t see like having a feeling is like an emergency that I have to fix. And I want you to know this is available for you, you just have to start practicing actually feeling your feelings, right.
Embrace the discomfort of having an emotion without doing anything to change it without eating over it. And just letting it be there. And I have to say this goes for you guys too. Like dudes are generally like, “Really, feel your feelings? Come on, bro. No thanks, don’t I just need to like man up and grow a pair?”
No, this is actually a very powerful skill that we are, none of us are taught men and women alike. We are not taught how to do this. And if you’re a dude, and you’re listening to this right now, I promise you that when you get good at just dealing with your feelings and actually experiencing them and processing them, this is a pretty badass skill.
It’s a badass skill that you have to get good at if you want to accomplish really anything in your life. Because when you do this, men and women, when you do this when you get good at handling your emotions and dealing with them. There’s like nothing you can’t do.
When you’re no longer afraid to feel your feelings, to experience your insecurities. Oh my god is what it means to be free. You have total freedom from emotional eating, you’re in control again.
And I promise you, you can lose a lot of weight this way. And you can keep it off for good. And I say this all the time – losing weight, getting healthy, getting stronger, running faster, all of it. It’s an inside job, right? You have to commit to doing this work.
Because this is how you accomplish big goals like losing weight. This is how you accomplish big goals like getting healthier, getting stronger, and making it last for life. This is how you become that badass that I know you want to be cool. And remember that if you’re ready to overcome your fears and insecurities around losing weight and make it last for life.
If you’re ready to learn the simple steps to becoming a leaner stronger runner then you have to come check out this free live workshop next week, March 17. To sign up just go to runningleancoaching.com/workshop.
I would love to see you there. I promise you’re gonna learn a lot. And we’re gonna have some fun together. Cool. All right, love you all keep on Running Lean. Talk to you soon.
If you’re a runner and you’ve been struggling to lose weight or you keep losing and gaining the same 10 pounds over and over again. Or you’re finally ready to get to your natural weight and stay there for good this time then I have something you will love. I’ve created a powerful new training just for you called running lean for life. You’ll learn exactly how to transform yourself into a lean fat-burning running machine. So you can run without bonking, lose weight without calorie counting and develop the habits required to make it last for life. To get this free training right now go to runningleanpodcast.com/leanforlife and start your transformation today.
Today I have a very special guest for you. I recently sat down with Melanie Millaway and we had a candid conversation about her experience of changing her diet and getting fat-adapted. But the …
Continue Reading about 112. Taking Back Control of Your Life with Melanie Millaway →
My name is Patrick McGilvray, and I’m an experienced marathoner, ultra runner, Sports Nutritionist, Master Life Coach, and weight loss coach for runners. I’ve dedicated my life to helping runners just like you properly fuel your body and your mind. So you can get leaner, get stronger, run faster, and run longer than you ever thought possible. This is Running Lean.
Hey there, and welcome to Episode 112, of Running Lean. My name is Patrick McGilvray, the weight loss coach for runners, and today, taking back control of your life with Melanie Millaway.
Today I have a very special guest for you. I recently sat down with Melanie Millaway. And we had a candid conversation about her experience of changing her diet and getting fat adapted. But the real change didn’t happen on the outside. Yes, she lost weight. Yes, she improved her running performance. Yes, she got stronger. Yes, she has more energy now. And yes, she generally feels a lot better.
But the real change happened on the inside. Melanie made this massive shift in her mindset. And I just have to say that this is the real work we do here in my coaching program, you will learn how to become a leaner, stronger runner. But you do it by making the internal shift by doing the inner work just like Melanie did. And I’ll let her tell you more about that.
Here’s the thing, the way you look on the outside, for example, your current weight, it’s just a reflection of whether or not you’re doing the internal work. If you’re unhappy with the way that you look and feel and you want more for yourself, then you have to do that internal work. Okay. This is the work that Melanie did. And in this episode of the podcast, she shares how she’s absolutely transformed herself her entire life from the inside out.
But first, if you love this podcast, come check out the Running Lean podcast community on Facebook, just search for Running Lean community on Facebook, come join us join in the fun, we have a lot of fun over there. We post selfies, we do challenges, we support each other, we encourage each other, and we have a good time doing it. It’s all about running. It’s all about diet and exercise and becoming your best self. Just search for Running Lean Community on Facebook and join the fun.
And then if you’re somebody who is ready to do that inner work to make that shift in your mindset so that you can start becoming the healthiest and most badass version of yourself, then you have to just take action. One of the biggest mistakes people make around changing their health is procrastination. They put off taking action.
They always think later. Like when I have more time or when I feel more motivated or after the kids go to college later, is a dream killer. It’s a killer of hopes and dreams. It’s a killer of goals. If you want something more for yourself, if you want to make a change for yourself for the better, then you have to start today.
Apply for coaching with me. There’s no commitment. It’s just a conversation, you and me just going to have a conversation about what coaching would look like for you, and how it might be one of the best things you ever do for yourself.
Just go to runningleanpodcast.com/apply and take that first step take action, stop putting it off. Take that step towards becoming that badass future version of yourself. Cool.
All right. As I said, I’m excited to share this interview with you. Melanie experienced this profound transformation and affected a bunch of different areas of her life. And I’m gonna let her tell you all about it. So I’m gonna stop talking. Here’s my interview with Melanie Millaway.
Patrick McGilvray
All right, cool. So today I’m talking with Melanie and Melanie has a cool story that I felt was worth sharing with you guys. So Melanie and I started working together a few months ago. And
Melanie just is one of these people that at the beginning, things were very challenging for her. And at the beginning, she may have had some doubts, and she may have struggled a little bit and we’re going to talk about that. But I want you to know that at the end of our coaching together and the end of our sort of time working together. Melanie just had this amazing, like,
attitude, and this amazing transformation, and I wanted to make sure that we sort of captured that and shared it with you guys, because I think it’s very inspirational. And I hope I’m not, you know, setting this up too, too big for you here, Melanie. But I thought it was very inspirational. And I wanted to make sure that we sort of had this conversation and talked about all this stuff.
So, Melanie, why don’t you just introduce yourself and kind of tell us like, where you were, before you and I started working together?
Melanie Millaway
Awesome. Well, Patrick, first off, thanks for having me. Man, all the way back to the beginning with this process, I think when we started…
Patrick McGilvray
So where did you find yourself and by the way, this is like such a common story. This is one of the reasons I do what I do is because so many runners have this mentality of “Oh, I just run to eat, I can eat whatever I want. I just need to run more. And that’ll solve the problem.” You know, and so what you’re describing here is completely normal. We can all relate, we’ve all been there. Okay. But where did you find yourself that you thought “I need help with this?” Like what was the biggest issue that you really wanted to be solved, or the biggest issue you wanted help with?
Melanie Millaway
Well, you know, what I was doing wasn’t working, I was spending more time running and kind of prioritizing that over other things. And it was really was creating a strain for me to balance everything. Like I have a lot more responsibilities in my life, like family and career now than when I trained for my last full marathon. And, you know, I wasn’t blessed with like Olympic DNA. So I’m just your average runner based on age and kind of finish time. And, you know, it takes me a couple of hours to knock out a 10-15 mile run. And yet, I felt like I was stuck. And I wasn’t really making any material progress. I wasn’t getting faster, I didn’t look any different. In general, I kind of felt like garbage. And I wasn’t in a great mood most of the time. Yet, I was investing all this time running and I was feeling frustrated.
Patrick McGilvray
Yeah, and this is so interesting because you’re one of these people Melanie who has come to me and said like, “Listen, I don’t have like a bunch of weight to lose. I’m not super overweight or anything like that.”
You did lose some weight in this process. We’ll talk about that in a minute. But you didn’t come to me saying like, “Oh, I just can lose the weight you just you know you had a lot more going on and there was just so many things like you described it just feeling like garbage.
I think that pretty much sums it up there. But it’s like we want more for ourselves. We want to feel better. We want running to be something we enjoy. We want it to be easier.
And so those are some of the things that I remember from when we started working together where you were just like, I’ve got to figure this out, you know?
And so we started kind of working together describe like, what, what are some of the things you, you experienced when we started making some of these changes? Because I know it didn’t know, it wasn’t all like super easy or work super well, for the beginning.
Melanie Millaway
Yeah, you know, I think when we first started, got started, really what I wanted some guidance, I wanted to be held accountable. Like I knew that was something I needed for myself. Because I have a tendency to kind of put others before me, just a kind of a pleaser, by nature that way, and if you overuse that formula, a lot of times you end up kind of sacrificing your own goals and desires. And that’s not very empowering, and it leaves you feeling like you don’t have a lot of control in certain circles, you know, situations or circumstances.
And then kind of looking outward, you know, I’ve had a lot of success, other aspects of my life working with a mentor, kind of specifically, in my career with, you know, whether it’s like an individual development plan or your career growth, I’ve had mentors in the past that were supporting me with a variety of goals, and kind of seeking their advice or guidance on something, but I never really thought to make that kind of investment in my own personal life, until I cross paths with you.
But, you know, how did they get started? Or how did it go? You know, it was challenging in the beginning, you know, I made the conscious choice to begin this journey heading into what I perceive to be the most challenging time of the year, the holiday season, that quad factor of Halloween, and Thanksgiving, and Christmas, and New Years, like, they are all packed in there. And it’s kind of crazy to, you know, experience growth and discomfort to the holidays, like the ultimate gauntlet of obstacles. But I thought if I could come out of that specific time of the year successful, it would be a huge boost to my self-confidence. And I could kind of wear it like a badge of honor.
And as I worked to get kind of fat-adapted, you know, I experienced the headaches and the sugar withdrawal symptoms. And looking back on it, I was probably a little more than grouchy. But I was really committed. You know, I started my food journal, and I was logging meals consistently. And I started planning and buying different things at the store and set my protocol and knew what I wanted to eat ahead of time.
And, you know, when it comes to running, like, I’m not gonna lie, the running sucks for a while going through this process. Yeah, there were weeks when I felt sluggish, and my body was heavy. And I was basically sucking wind.
And I had run a half marathon just a few weeks prior to kind of starting to want the Running Lean program. And I had a PR in that race. And then fast forward, like, as I’m in the midst of getting fat-adapted, I had forgot I had committed to a friend that was gonna, I was going to help pace her during a local, like half marathon. And that race felt hard. But I wasn’t quite over the hump yet at that point.
And then I just remember kind of coming out on the other side, eventually, my runs, they started getting easier. You know, my times were improving. I felt like less effort. And it was just kind of gradual onset. And I remember sending you a text message, like, you know, ran five miles this morning, and it felt really good. And I was back but I was like better.
Patrick McGilvray
Yeah, you bring it up. Um, a couple of things I want to touch on number one is like you did take this on during candy season, which is Halloween through New Years, you know, and we’ve talked about that. And you were like, I don’t know if I really want to do this right now. But I think I need to do this right now.
And that takes a lot of courage like to stand up and do that because most people they don’t you know, most people are like, “You know what, I’m gonna wait till the New Year’s I’m just gonna like, binge my way through this holiday season. I need a bunch of garbage and feel terrible, and gained a bunch of weight. And then hopefully on New Year’s, I’ll make a resolution and be able to stick with it this time, which will be different, you know?”
And nobody does that. Do you know what I mean? It’s just, it doesn’t really work, you know? And you were like, “You know what, no, that’s not what I want for myself. I want to do something different. I want to just get started now. And I want to make these changes now. And I’m going to get through the holidays and feel good about myself. I want to come out on the other side of the holidays feeling like I had my own back through that whole process.”
So how did that go for you? Like how was the how’d you come out of the holidays?
Melanie Millaway
I came out and felt like I was well ahead of the game, you know, and I had been training along the way for my event in January and I mean, I was so far ahead. So that felt that part of felt amazing.
Patrick McGilvray
Awesome. Yeah. So you came out of the holidays, you came into January, with all this momentum. And you had actually lost weight over the holidays, which is something most people don’t do.
So that was really cool. And then yeah, then you had your race in January. What was that? What was the race?
Melanie Millaway
Yeah, so that was I ran a half marathon in Houston, which Houston’s a really special city to me, and I just, I love that event. And this time, you know, I was fully fat-adapted, like, it seemed so simple.
I didn’t have to do anything different than any other typical day when I was down there. Like, I didn’t have to carb load the night before. And I never, I never liked that feeling of carb-loading before a race anyway, it always kind of made me feel lethargic or gross.
But, you know, now I didn’t have to do that. And I didn’t eat anything pre-race, like I completely fasted aside from a cup of coffee. And, you know, I didn’t run with any carbs on me, like I was naked. With carbs, like, you know, I still carry my own hydration. But my running back was a little lighter. And I wasn’t ravenous post race, you know, like, I ate a standard meal a few hours later. So it was kind of surreal at first, but just strangely liberating, like to go through that transformation and to, for it to just be so easy.
Patrick McGilvray
Yeah, and how’d you do in the race?
Melanie Millaway
Yeah. So I broke a course record for myself. So improved my time for the last time that I’d run in person. So you know, it was, it was a really smooth race, I got to see my dad along the way, like at mile two. So it’s always encouraging to have, you know, family there to support you.
But it just the overall experience of felt good. And I was really energized and happy to be there. And just overall, an incredible weekend.
Patrick McGilvray
Awesome, super awesome. Just goes to show you that just because you’re running on fat instead of carbs, like you can still run fast. You know, a lot of people, there’s a lot of misconceptions out there about that, you know, you want to get faster, you can work on getting faster, and you can do it as a fat-adapted runner, for sure. That’s awesome.
So something I wanted to kind of go back to you mentioned, like drinking and sort of like, you know, taking some time off from drinking, what was that like for you? Was that something you were just kind of struggling with a little bit and you want to do like, you knew that was maybe something that was contributing to you feeling like garbage? Is that kind of why you decided you wanted to take a break from drinking?
Melanie Millaway
Yeah, I just wasn’t very happy with who I was. And I’ll kind of go back a little bit on my relationship with alcohol, you know,
I wanted to just kind of take a pause and kind of figure out the role it was playing in my life. And, you know, alcohol was a challenge. Like, I think I’ve had established some enduring habits over the past 20 years, like, when I was younger, and you know, you’re seeking social acceptance, like, I was one of those, I had to put effort into acquiring a taste for alcohol. But then like, fast forward, you know, now I’m in a position where I find myself thinking about having a beer after I’m done working for the day, or after a stressful week, or maybe it’s the start of the weekend, and like, let’s kick it off with a drink. Or I’m at a business meeting, and I want to be the first to meet my colleagues at the bar. So like, I had some legacy habits there. But I didn’t like the way I was feeling.
And I think with coaching, I ended up making some really positive and just lasting changes with that relationship to kind of pause on it kind of reflect on, you know, what are the positives and the negatives from drinking, like, I’m not getting a whole lot of benefits here. Like I don’t feel good. I’m not really motivated. That’s an area where I think I’ve just been wanting to make a change for a while. And this is an aspect of kind of shame with the struggle.
And that’s where you kind of provided just a safe place for me and kind of understood that the challenge that comes with it, and being like how empowering to re-evaluate that relationship over the holidays like I think it’s December and it’s holiday parties and gatherings and get-togethers and I just did like a complete dry December and like it was really challenging at first but as each day kind of passed by and I had those successes, you build more confidence and like it’s so much easier at the end and then again, looking back on it like for something I had looked so forward to like the race that year, okay, well, now I’m going to have a sip of it. And it’s just kind of neck like it kind of lost its luster by the end, like, my feeling towards it is so different now.
Patrick McGilvray
If you could identify like kind of what that mindset shift was for you because what you’re describing is awesome. And a lot of people that I work with kind of experienced the same thing. So you know, just to lose weight and kind of get fat-adapted and change our, you know, body composition and things like that. I do recommend maybe taking a break from alcohol, some people freak out a little bit about that. Some people are like, okay, no big deal I can take or leave it. And, but something interesting happens along the way.
There’s always a mindset shift. There’s like a way we think about alcohol and what it does for us. Like before we give it up for a period of time. And then there’s the way we think about it afterward. Like, can you tell me kind of what that looked like for you? Like, what was the biggest shift for you and your mindset around that?
Melanie Millaway
I think it was feeling like, I needed some sense of control, like, at some point, it kind of had control over me. And I needed to have that, that shift of power kind of back into my favor, like it’s really not all that it’s cracked up to be.
And I think just more awareness to my thoughts and the feelings that they’re generating and slowing down a little bit kind of pause for a moment.
And I kind of liken it to thinking before you speak but on a more like a deeper, subconscious level. But is this really what I want at the moment and I still, you know, I still have a beer every now and then. So it’s not like I’ve completely ended my relationship with alcohol, but it’s just, I have better control. And my thought process is different towards it. And yeah, it’s been a shift, it’s, it’s not as sexy as it used to be. Because I can take it or leave it at this point.
Patrick McGilvray
Yeah, that’s so cool. Because that’s the place where you want to get to, and when it comes to drinking alcohol, or eating sugar, for example, these are like two things that are like drugs, if not our drugs, you know, the way that they affect our body and the way they affect our brain, the way they light up our pleasure centers.
And we have a hard time, you know, not doing these things when we’re used to doing them on the regular basis, right. And so when we’re like, okay, you know what, maybe, you know, stop eating sugar, stop drinking alcohol, and then all this resistance comes up and all this, we start freaking out about that, because we’re just so used to having it whenever we want it. So we use it to feel good, we use it as a reward system for ourselves, we use it to deal with our emotions, all that stuff.
When we take it away, it becomes challenging, and we got to deal with all that stuff that comes up. So you got to deal with the emotions, you got to like, reward yourself in different ways. You got to make yourself feel good in different ways, you know. But the other thing that people don’t realize is that that desire that you have for alcohol or sugar, will actually go away once you’ve abstained from it for a while.
And that desire, you can actually, when that sort of desire goes away, you actually start to not crave it anymore. You don’t. You’re no longer like thinking about it, you’re no longer dreaming about it. It’s no longer the solution for you anymore. And so you don’t even really want it anymore. That’s a place you want to get to. That’s a beautiful place to be because if you’re craving alcohol, but you’re not drinking, that’s terrible. I just want to murder somebody, right? But when you’re like, all of a sudden you’re like, and I remember you told me this, you’re like, it’s lost its luster. I just don’t even want it anymore. I was like, yes, that’s where we want to get to because now it’s easy to say no. Right? Yeah.
Melanie Millaway
Yeah, I just feel so much better. So like how I feel is more powerful than the thing than the food than the sugar than the drink. Like, that doesn’t make me feel as good as like how I feel now with the clarity and how much better I sleep at night or how much better my mood is or like I’m more engaged with my family or connected with the world like, that feels better than the beer ever made me feel.
Patrick McGilvray
Yeah, I love that. I love that and we get into this place sometimes where we start to feel good. And you know, we start to feel good without using you know, food or alcohol to make us feel good and we think this can’t last. This isn’t sustainable. And all these like stories will start to come up and excuses and things like that, because we get some comfortable.
It’s like feeling good. Actually, it doesn’t make sense. But feeling good. Like that actually makes us feel uncomfortable because we’re not used to it. And you even said this to me, and I took a note of this of some time into our working together, you were like, I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop in our heads if like, this is all gonna just come crashing down. But it didn’t, did it?
Melanie Millaway
No, I felt guilty, like for feeling so good. Like when I first felt the impact and kind of just the transformation. And I honestly had no idea that I could feel this good. It was like euphoria, like, and I just wasn’t sure what to do with myself. Like, I didn’t trust it.
And, you know, I also had to kind of remind myself not to go back to the things or the habits that got me where, where I was before, and I certainly where I don’t want to go back to you. But it was, it was a strange feeling to feel so good.
Patrick McGilvray
I just think that’s so funny in a way that we, we do that to ourselves, we actually start to feel good. And then we’re like, there’s got to be something wrong here. When is this gonna change? This is not normal, this is weird, is uncomfortable. But it’s like, no, we want to feel good. We want to feel good. So tell me about something else that shifted for you. Because, you know, you’ve you’ve experienced some profound shifts in your, in your mindset and in the way you think and feel about yourself. Tell me something else that you’ve experienced through this process.
Melanie Millaway
You know, just seeking some clarity in my life, there were things I wanted to change about myself. But I was lacking direction or certainty on kind of how to make that meaningful and lasting change.
And, you know, I had celebrated a milestone birthday earlier last year. And I think that natural progression, kind of when you enter a new decade of your life is to get introspective and start kind of conducting your own personal inventory. So you know, my satisfied with where I am right now, is there something more out there? Is this what life is really all about? Like, is this it? Or is it time for change?
And I think I coupled those kind of internal thoughts with the fact that I’ve always been interested in health and fitness and nutrition and learning new things. And, you know, identify as a runner, you know, I was an athlete in high school. And after college, I ran my first marathon, and I was hooked. I love the sport. But that also started me down the path of adopting the mindset of like, now that I’m a marathon runner, like, I can eat whatever I want like I run to eat. And if I’m training, logging miles, and burning tons of calories, and naturally, I get to eat and drink, whatever I want, as much as I want, whenever I want, like, I love food.
And my childhood and upbringing certainly revolved around food. So it seemed like a natural fit. You know, all this to say that you know, the strategy that I had adopted, you know, I run to I can eat that wasn’t really working for me anymore. I wasn’t feeling great, I was not really motivated. So what did I do? I leaned in further with what I knew, I thought, well, clearly, I just need to run farther. So let’s increase the distance.
So I signed up, and I started training to run another full marathon. And that was my goal. It had been a few years since my last full marathon, I have been running half marathons kind of for maintenance. And it was at this point that I kind of discovered the Running Lean podcast on Audible, and I was listening during my training runs. And that led me to you. And kind of just the start of this new beginning and understanding that you can’t outrun a bad diet. And what I needed was to change my relationship with food and alcohol. And if I wanted to feel better, and to achieve, like greater things for myself, like those changes needed to happen. You know, I was just kind of searching for more.
Patrick McGilvray
I mean, absolutely. It’s normal to start the year that way and to not feel like you’re in the hole, so to speak of you, you know, overindulge to the holidays, and maybe ate more drank more than you normally would have any other time of the year and have to start just to start building.
Melanie Millaway
You know, just, you know, I remember early on, I had some anxiety or apprehension with an upcoming business trip, you know, meeting with vendors, typically, that’s meals out, like a reason to overindulge with food or alcohol or otherwise and used to use support me to ensure that I had a solid plan kind of going into that situation, it’s as simple as thinking like about, how do you want to come out of that week? You know, how do you want to feel about yourself that really resonated with me. And again, just I felt supported, that was a big boost to my confidence.
You know, another simple situation where a friend had brought me lunch, like, I think it was a roast beef sandwich. And I didn’t want to draw attention to the fact that I was doing this high fat, low carb thing. And basically, I didn’t want to eat the bread in front of my friends. So I’d not eat the bread. So I ended up, you know, kind of caving and eating the entire sandwich.
And I just remember, kind of, I felt disappointed with myself afterward. I took a good thing like someone bringing me lunch, and I turned it into something else. And I remember you kind of breaking it down. And obviously, the situation was deeper than just the bread, like leaving that conversation, feeling more confident in my choices, and being empowered to kind of stick to stick with those was really important to me.
And then really just, I mean, again, mindset, just being more aware of my thoughts and the feelings that those are generating and slowing down. Kind of just taking a pause for a moment. I didn’t realize I’ve always felt frustrated for a long time. And I couldn’t really figure out why or kind of put my finger on it. And it all makes a lot more sense.
Now it’s like, the thought is the thing. But I have control over the thoughts, how it makes me feel, and ultimately kind of what my actions are. So I feel like my life is I feel less frustrated. And I feel like I have more control in despite not being able to control the circumstance, but just how I react to the situation and just being more at ease. Like I feel less frustrated.
Patrick McGilvray
Yeah. Do you feel like you have more control over your thoughts and feelings?
Melanie Millaway
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I love just being able to, I’m more intentional, I think with my thoughts. And even if the thoughts maybe don’t feel good kind of marinating enough for a minute or kind of reflecting on it and trying to connect it back to the why.
And just having a better mindset in general. And feeling like I have control. Like, and I do. And that’s incredibly empowering. Like, I can think about having a drink. And again, pause for a second and think with that thought and contemplate it. That’s what I really want. And occasionally I may want to eat the thing like maybe it’s cake. But I got the power back like I get to decide for myself I get to choose.
Patrick McGilvray
Yeah, that’s really cool. And I love the way you phrase that too because you do have the power. And it’s incredibly empowering when we can learn how to manage or control our thoughts and feelings. We go through life thinking that what other people do or say, makes us feel a certain way. And when we start to take control over that and start to take responsibility for our own stuff, and for our own emotional state, it becomes, it becomes so empowering, because now you’re not blaming other people for how you feel. You’re not blaming other people for how you’re reacting to situations.
Do you see this work that we’ve done together? Do you see it sort of spilling over into other areas of your life?
Melanie Millaway
Absolutely, I mean, that part of it, it is positively impacted so many other areas of my life. Like I said, with just being more engaged at home, I have more energy to spend time with my kids in the evening, after, you know, working all day or kind of fulfilling my responsibilities. At work, I think I’m more inspiring to my team of leaders that I work with, my colleagues, and just kind of energizing them and it’s infectious. Like, it’s pretty, it’s pretty incredible how I can like just spill over and impact so many other areas of my life in such meaningful and positive ways. Like that feels really good.
Patrick McGilvray
Yeah, and, and I just want to point out, Melanie, that this is all you, you know, I’m, I’m over here, like yammering on about stuff, and, you know, kind of, you know, offering some suggestions and things like that, but you’re doing the work.
And that’s something I want everybody that’s listening to this to really hear that, you know, having a coach is great. And it’s great to have somebody that can guide you, that has the experience and that expertise with this kind of stuff. But really, you got to show up, and you got to actually do the work, you got to like, do things that you don’t want to do, you know, you’ve got to, you know, practice being disciplined about your diet and about exercising and about getting your runs and getting your strength training in and working through the mindset stuff.
And so I just wanted to point out that you have done an exceptional job with all that stuff, you know, you are the one that has shown up and actually done the work. So good job.
Well, what’s been like the most, like, if you could just identify like one big, the best part of this for you are the biggest transformation you’ve experienced with all of this, what would you say that was for you?
Melanie Millaway
I would say it’s having your own back. I mean, life isn’t easy. You know life is full of struggles. But you have choices. And I think I learned you have more control than you know, like, you get to choose your own adventure. Choose your struggles, right.
So personally, I’d rather be focused on controlling aspects of my diet, or sitting with an uncomfortable thought or emotion than struggling with diabetes, or heart disease or alcoholism, all of which, you know, run in my family, I think you’ve got to give yourself some grace and kind of self-love along the way.
Like, I’m going to make mistakes, the reality is I’m going to fail at things. But just keep going and keep working towards making those small, incremental changes. Because they all add up in time and, you know, you’re moving forward and getting closer towards the things that you want, and just never quitting.
And I think lastly, kind of coming out of this process, you know, I learned that nothing is impossible like we all have or should have like what I call a big, hairy, audacious goal, and you need to go after it, like see it as part of your identity, and who you are and believe in it. I think most importantly, just believe in yourself, because anything is possible.
Patrick McGilvray
Oh my gosh, I love that. Yeah, and I totally agree with you, I think we should have big, huge, impossible goals, we should all have those kinds of goals for ourselves. Because if we don’t, if our goals are small, that means they’re because we a lot of people, we set small goals for ourselves because we know we can attain them.
But those small goals feel kind of comfortable for us. But we want those big or bigger things that are uncomfortable, the ones that require us to change and to become more in the process of going for them. Right. So love that.
Let me ask you this. How do you feel about going forward of all this? So you and I worked together for a few months. But now do you feel like you have like what it takes to like continue this as a way of life? Is this something that you just did temporarily? Like where do you stand with all that today?
Melanie Millaway
I think it’s I’m more confident than ever. It’s completely sustainable. It is a life track, like a lifestyle choice. It’s not like a diet or something that’s a fad that’s, you know, quickly slips away. Like I feel like I’ve acquired a set of skills that are transferable across all facets of my life.
And again, I think when I started this journey I was, I thought my goal was one thing. But really what I was seeking was something else and just the skill set that I’ve acquired make it easier for me to have a positive mindset. Being able to take back control, like, it’s a huge and just the self-confidence that comes from it. It’s life-changing. And it’s been a transformational process for me.
Patrick McGilvray
Yeah, that’s so awesome. I love that. And that’s really the goal is to make this something that is pretty easy and effortless that you can carry forward. You know, we’re not about it’s not about the short term, it’s not about like, losing weight, or, you know, improving your running for a month or two. This is about lifestyle changes.
You know, it’s about becoming the healthiest version of yourself and being able to continue that going forward. You know, I always say that health is not a destination that we’re trying to get to. It’s how we live our lives. And so you’re sort of an example of that, you know, and that’s why one of the reasons why I want to talk to you is because now you’re just like, Yeah, this is how I live my life now. I love that. So awesome.
Last question, really, like, what would you say to someone who isn’t sure about this stuff? Or isn’t sure if they’re ready to change? You know, or, or they’re on the fence? Or they’re undecided? Or they’re not sure if it’s the right time? Like, what would you say to that person?
Melanie Millaway
Put yourself out there, you’ve got nothing to lose. I mean, just kind of the growth through discomfort, make an investment in yourself. It works if you go all in and you’re truly committed to the program, and you’re willing to get uncomfortable, but it can change your life and how you experience the world.
Patrick McGilvray
Yeah, heck yeah. I think just like starting is just so important for people. You know, just like start, just get started. I know. But what happens is we start to think about, oh, I want to change my diet. I want to get healthy, I want to lose some weight, I want to get leaner, I want to improve my running, I want to get faster.
And then we start like, we just think about it and all this stuff starts coming up for us like oh, I’ve never worked for me in the past. Or maybe this is not the right time. I need to wait till after the holidays, or you know, whatever. But yeah, I think that’s good advice. Just start, just get started today, get started, do something for yourself today.
Anything else you wanted to talk about or anything else you wanted to mention before we finish up here?
Melanie Millaway
No, I mean, just yeah, be fully committed. Trust the contents of this program it is life-changing. It really appeals, it’s very logical. Makes a lot of sense. It’s very simplistic, kind of easy to understand and follow.
It’s built on a bunch of principles that build upon themselves. So it’s, it’s just so different than I know, I totally ditched the idea of because I’m a runner, I can eat whatever I want. Now that thought process is gone.
And I guess one other final thought too, is just again, it’s just a huge sense of relief that I can do things more efficiently with this process. Like I don’t have to spend hours running. Like I can work smarter, not harder.
And being a fat-adapted runner is so much easier. Like I’m not constantly eating I don’t feel hungry all the time. You know, I have two meals a day, I don’t snack. I can distinguish hunger from cravings and I’m just amazed at how little food I need to eat. And I’m always leaving a meal feeling satisfied. And you know, fat is your friend like it gets a bad rap. I think fat needs a new PR agent, because not only does it taste delicious, but again, it leaves you feeling satisfied. So yeah, it’s good.
Patrick McGilvray
Yeah. Focus on fat, focus on protein. Those are the macros we want to be focused on. Awesome stuff, Melanie. Well, thanks again for coming on here and sharing your story and sharing about your transformation. And we’re gonna keep an eye on you and just kind of see where things go with you. Do you have any races coming up anytime soon?
Melanie Millaway
I’ve got one in April, I’ve got a half I’m looking forward to. And then I’ll be focused on you know, building some lean muscle mass. So that’s what’s next for me.
Patrick McGilvray
Love it. Well, we’ll stay in touch and we’ll do an update here. Once you start getting strong and ripped. Okay. All right. Well, thanks again. I really appreciate it and thanks for just sharing so much about your story. It’s been really cool.
Melanie Millaway
Awesome. Thank you for having me.
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